Finding You Bk. 02: Paradigm Shift

She hesitated a moment, hoping that the question she wanted to ask wasn't too personal. "You and Marcus...you guys call each other brother all the time, but are you guys actually related?"

"Not by blood, angel, but we are brothers by circumstance." Marcus was the one to respond, raising his eyes into the rear view mirror so that he could see her.

Cooper picked up the explanation next. "Marcus' family took me in after my parents died in an auto accident when I was five. My family and his were not only neighbors, but our parents were also close friends. When I was orphaned and had no other living relatives to care for me, Marcus' parents stepped in and took me in."

"I'm so sorry, Cooper," Tabby said and squeezed his hand.

He shook his head slowly. "It was a long time ago, kitten. I honestly don't really remember them beyond some vague memories and a handful of old photographs. Marcus' mom and dad took me in as a foster child and eventually adopted me. So, we are brothers, just not blood relatives."

That explained Marcus' protective attitude where Cooper was involved. With the tragedy that had befallen Cooper's parents, Marcus had become a big brother overnight. Instead of being resentful of the family's newest addition, he had stepped into the role of protector for the younger boy and the two had become inseparable.

"Have you two...always shared a...a woman?" she asked shyly.

"Not always, kitten." Now it was his turn to glance up and his gaze found Marcus' intense stare glaring back at him in the mirror, his dark eyes delivering a silent warning in his direction. "We both had our own relationships before discovering the lifestyle. It wasn't until after we'd trained as Doms, that a friend introduced us to co-topping a submissive. That was about ten years ago now. We enjoyed it, but couldn't find the right sub to collar as our permanent partner. It wasn't until you walked into our lives, sweetheart, that that changed."

Tabby had caught the odd look Marcus had given Cooper and she wondered what they were hiding from her. There had been a brief moment of tension that had passed between the two men, but it dissipated when Cooper had avoided whatever touchy subject Marcus didn't want him to bring up. She sensed that there was something else going on, but it was too soon to push them for more information. Besides which, she was too tired and had no interest in stirring up whatever hornet's nest they were keeping under wraps.

They wanted her to trust them and she would do so until they gave a reason not to.

"I'm still so nervous at how a relationship like ours is going to work in the real world. How do I treat you? What do I call each of you? Back at the house, I was operating on instinct and your instructions, the lines just blurred. But now, I feel unsure of myself and torn between what I want and what I know." Tabby squeezed her eyes shut and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

Cooper pulled her head against his shoulder and rubbed her arm. "Oh kitten, my sweet, sweet Tabby-cat. The emotions that you are feeling are completely normal. We've thrown you a curveball, which you've hit right out of the park rather brilliantly. Go with your gut because it will never steer you wrong and forget all the preconceive notions of relationships that you've ever held. The majority aren't going to apply to ours, Tabitha. Just be yourself because that's who attracted our attention in the first place."

"When we are together, your job is to listen, feel and obey, but we're not tyrants. Believe it or not, Doms thrive on giving their subs pleasure...making you happy, makes us happy. You will learn to trust and follow our lead in time. As to what to call us...for now either Sir or our first name is perfectly fine. And stop worrying about making mistakes, they are a part of learning and we expect you to make them." He gave her a mischievous grin. "How else are we supposed to have fun punishing you, kitten?"

Tabby winced at the reminder but couldn't deny the thrill of arousal that zinged into her core at the memory of feeling so completely dominated as she had when Marcus had punished her. She had the discomfort left from her spanking to remind her that even though there had been pain, there had also been a pleasure that she had never experienced before. Fear of the pain had terrified her, but her need to please Marcus, to make him proud of her, had overruled her fear. That desire had been strong enough to permit her to submit to him in spite of being afraid at the same time.

That strange urge to please him, she could understand. She liked making people happy and being of use. That's probably why she enjoyed cooking so much, so it wasn't such a stretch for her to want to make Marcus happy too. The thing that was still troubling her though was the other unexpected reaction that had surfaced during the punishment - the moment when she'd begun to crave the stinging pain just to get that rush of pleasure that followed after. That was something that still had her confused and conflicted.

"I know that look, kitten. We will help you explore your masochistic side in a safe, controlled manner. Don't be ashamed that you got off on the pain. Many people find the right type of pain to be almost as pleasurable as the sex itself. Put the two components together and you have a magic that very few can understand or appreciate."

"I never suspected that I would have masochistic tendencies. It wasn't until Marcus' spanking, that something unlocked inside of me that I never knew existed. I feel like I've stumbled upon a hidden room in my home that had been sitting there in plain sight all along. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how pain could produce such intense pleasure. It doesn't make sense and trying to figure it out is messing me up."

Marcus had been listening as he wended his way through the semi-deserted suburban streets. Cooper had a way of helping nervous submissives open up and he was doing just that with Tabby. Her exhaustion was also helping to lower her natural defenses, allowing her to speak freely while reducing the effectiveness of her natural mental filters.

"That is what the period of Consideration is all about, angel. Together, we will figure out your limits, hard and soft, and help to fill in some of the gaps in your knowledge of the BDSM lifestyle. We will experiment and explore until we have a good idea of where your likes and dislikes lie. At the same time, we will also get to know each other as individuals. It won't all be sex, angel. Sometimes it will be just the three of us sitting on the sofa watching a movie and eating popcorn."

"Except that you'll probably be naked!" Cooper chimed in making them all laugh.

"Yeah, probably," Marcus agreed.

Tabby pretended to scowl at them, but secretly she already loved the idea of being naked around her men. The way she'd catch them staring at her like she was a meal they couldn't wait to devour, coupled with the obvious evidence of their arousal in their pants...that kind of attention just made her feel sexy and powerful in a very feminine way.

These dominant, confident men were miles away from the fumbling, horny boys that she'd dated in the past - they had embraced their sexuality and took what they wanted, but went about it in such a way that she was more than happy to give it to them.

Tabby would have been lying to herself if she denied loving how quickly she could strip away their veneer of civility and reduce them to creatures of pure lust with just the sight of her naked body. Seeing them as affected by her as she was by them, also reassured her that the intense feelings bombarding her weren't flowing one way - their bodies betrayed how badly they wanted her just as hers did every time one of them touched her. They didn't even have to touch her, the fact that they were usually hard around her, hadn't escaped her notice. Knowing that those erections and heated gazes were all for her, made her want to preen with satisfaction.

They may have outweighed her and outmuscled her, but Tabby was just beginning to comprehend that she wasn't completely powerless around her two lovers. In fact, she had a feeling that underneath all their dominance and virility, it was she that held the real power over Marcus and Cooper.

The fragile trust that was developing between them gave her the ability to choose to surrender it into their capable hands.

She didn't need to exert her power in order to possess it; all she needed was to have faith that her two partners would always have her best interests in mind.

Her head spun. There was so much more to BDSM than just the kinky sex that people either glorified or vilified. To those willing to delve beneath the surface, there was a world built on binding emotional attachments, a deep abiding trust and an unshakable sense of responsibility to one's partner that Tabby didn't think truly existed in modern vanilla relationships.

She laughed to herself. She was even starting to use BDSM terms in her own thoughts, to show how far she'd come in such a few short hours.

CHAPTER 77

Cooper couldn't help himself; he stroked Tabby's hair and arm as she lay quietly against his shoulder. He could practically hear the grinding from the gears spinning in his intelligent, inquisitive submissive's head as her active brain processed everything she had experienced and learned. He knew that this was a necessary part of her acceptance of their unorthodox lifestyle and that she needed to come to her own conclusions, but Cooper couldn't wait to see what percolated out of all her deep thinking.

What questions would she have? Conclusions? Fears? These things would come out in the coming days as they initiated her further into their world.

He sighed and relaxed into the seat, letting her settle her comforting weight against his shoulder. She had gone quiet but so long as he was touching her, he was happy. When her eyelids grew heavy and began fluttering up and down, he knew that she was fighting the urge to sleep and it was time for him to step in.

"Close your eyes, kitten. We still have a forty-five minute drive to get back to your apartment and you need the rest." He arranged her seatbelt so that she could lay her head down on his lap more comfortably while remaining safely secured.

"Don't wanna sleep," she yawned, snuggling down and making herself comfortable despite her sleepy protest.

"Then just close your eyes while we drive, sweetness. Let me enjoy holding you for a bit, okay?" he murmured, lightly running his fingers along the ridge of her spine, gently lulling her further into the waiting clutches of slumber.

"Mmmm, m'kay," she mumbled, her eyes closing. Her breathing soon settled into the regular rhythm of sleep, aided by the relaxing encouragement of Cooper's soothing caresses.

Marcus flicked his eyes up to the mirror and smiled at the contented expression on his brother's face. It mirrored the one he carried in his heart. "She gone?" he spoke softly so as not to disturb Tabby.

"Yeah. Out like a light," Cooper replied.

"She's a stubborn one. I figured she'd be asleep before we hit the freeway."

"She was too curious. Are you ever going to tell her about Daria? She knows that I kept something from her and eventually she's going to ask, Marcus."

"Daria is old history. I'm not bringing that whore into our relationship, even if it is just by the mention of her name," Marcus spat bitterly. The sting from his ex-finance's betrayal still stabbed him in his gut when he thought about how she had duped him and how blithely he had believed her act.

Cooper was silent, contemplating his next words because he knew that they were going to touch a very raw nerve in his friend. "How long are you going to let Daria keep hurting you, brother?"

Marcus growled and his dark eyes flashed up to the mirror, spitting daggers at Cooper. "Don't, Cooper. Don't fucking go there. Or if you are stupid enough to open that can of worms, at least wait until we take Tabby home because it's going to earn you a fucking beating."

Cooper sighed, feeling pain for his brother and best friend. He was the only person close enough to Marcus, who knew how he had walled off his heart after Daria had shattered it. Cooper worried that holding onto that old hurt, was going to destroy any chance of real happiness that Marcus could have with Tabby.

"She'll know, Marcus. Not today or next week...but eventually, Tabitha is going to know that you are holding something back. She's not stupid and...fuck!" he swore quietly under his breath, wishing he had something he could punch to relieve the frustration twisting his gut into a knot. "Fuck me if I'm not falling for her already! What's it going to be like in a month? In three? When the Consideration period expires and she has to make a decision, where the fuck is your head going to be? Because if it is half as far up your ass as it is now, we are going to lose her."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Coop. She'll be fine and she'll be ours."

Cooper was starting to get angry at Marcus' stubbornness. "You're fucking delusional, you know that? You beat her for lying to you. How do you think she's going to react when she learns that she can never have your complete heart, Marcus? If you are serious about training her, we are going to strip her to her marrow, expose her beautiful heart and expect her to give us every drop of herself in return. In the process, you know damn well that we are going to make her so attached to us that she will fall in love. It will kill her to know, at least from you, that she's never going to get a fraction of that love back because you are too scared to trust another woman with your heart."

Tabby grumbled and whimpered in her sleep, subconsciously reacting to the tension straining the air between the two men. Cooper quickly hushed her and the touch of his hand rubbing circles on her back, helped her settle back into sleep. Taking a deep breath, Cooper took a minute to calm down as well. He wanted to beat on Marcus until he could make him see the impending disaster that his reluctance to open himself up to love was going to create. However, he needed to keep a cool head because the last thing he wanted was for Tabby to wake up to find herself in the middle of World War Three.

He waited until he was sure that he had his temper back under control before speaking again. "Marcus...I can love her enough for the both of us, but one day, this smart, beautiful, talented woman is going to notice that her love isn't being reciprocated by you in the same way. You can offer her your lust. You can offer her your protection. Hell, you can even offer her more money than she's ever dreamed of, but mark my words, brother, if you don't offer her your unguarded heart, you will lose her and I'm not prepared to stand by and watch that happen."

Every one of Cooper's words peppered Marcus' heart with pinpoints of agony that stuck in him as if he'd just withstood a barrage of porcupine quills, naked. However, the barbs only reached as far as the steel casing that shielded his heart safely away. They couldn't penetrate the stubborn assertion he'd wrapped around himself; that opening his heart up to loving Tabby, to loving anybody, would only leave him wrecked and bleeding in the end.

He was prepared to give her everything...except that. Though he knew the fear wasn't entirely rational, he couldn't let it go and choked on the bitter sorrow that flooded into him, drowning him in anguish.

"I know," he said in an emotionless voice that belied the turmoil raging in his head. He continued driving, suddenly feeling like he was steering a sinking boat down the river Styx, into the gates of his own personal hell.

CHAPTER 78

The man in the truck hardly noticed the big, black Escalade when it pulled into the driveway that sat just in front of where he had parked his truck. His ass was numb from sitting for hours and his back wasn't thanking him either. He shivered in the late September night's chill, but the truck's gas tank was sitting on E from him idling the engine so many times to blast the heater. His bladder was also letting him know that the uncountable cups of coffee and soda that he'd been guzzling for energy, wanted out...badly. He was just debating whether to give up his stakeout for the night, find a gas station and go for a piss before heading home, when the big vehicle had shown up.

The man's gut was a seething cauldron of acid and anxiety. The girl he'd been trailing had fucking disappeared. She'd never returned home after going to that kinky sex club last night and he'd watched all day with nothing but a raging case of indigestion and a sore ass to show for it.

Even her blonde bimbo friend hadn't reappeared. The man initially had been hoping that his mark had just shacked up with a one-night stand and would turn up Sunday morning doing the walk of shame, but Sunday was ten minutes from being history and she was still MIA. His employer was going to have his nuts for breakfast if he couldn't track her down and soon.

He was just about to crank the engine and go when the Escalade had pulled up and parked in the curved driveway in front of the condominium building's main door. The vehicle's arrival hadn't been anything noteworthy and he was just about to ignore it until two big-assed men climbed out of it, seeming to be out of place. He watched curiously, as one of them reached into the backseat and emerged carrying a person in his arms.

Now that development did catch the man in the truck's interest and he perked up, focusing on the body that the one gorilla was carrying. The dark brown hair dangling over the man's arm looked familiar and he excitedly scrambled to find his camera with the long range, telephoto lens attached to it. He aimed the huge lens out of his window, focused in on the woman in the blond man's arms, and almost pissed himself in relief.

There she was, fast asleep like a baby in a giant's arms. At least he assumed she was fast asleep. From this distance, she could have been dead and he wouldn't have known it. He studied the body language of the men with her and decided that they were too relaxed to be dealing with a dead body. She was either asleep or passed out. He let go the breath he'd been holding and relaxed, content to watch the show.

Thank fucking Christ! He had been dreading having to tell the crazy bastard who had hired him, that he'd lost her, but now he didn't have to. He snapped a series of photos, making sure to capture face shots of both of the unknown males that had accompanied her back home.

Fucking hell, he swore, looking out of his window at them. Those bastards were huge!

He hoped that they were just getting a dumb bitch that'd partied too hard home safely, because if not, then they would become a serious complication to his eventual plans to capture the girl and deliver her to his twisted employer. He did not fancy his chances in a physical battle with those two brutes.

At least that's what he figured was going to happen if the sex club thing fell through. One way or another, that girl was going to end up dead or at very least, seriously fucked up once his psycho boss got his paws on her. That much he'd gathered from the man's rabid obsession with her.

Either option worked for him. She was a pretty little thing and the guy had promised him some one on one time with her before he finished her off.

Sometimes not having a conscious worked out pretty well for him and he wasn't above taking a woman against her will as a free benefit of his contract.

He had met his employer in a chatroom for men with, shall we say - interests that deviated from the societal norms - violent fetishes, rape enthusiasts, and worse, they all congregated on super secretive websites to share their twisted desires.