Jail Breaking

I became very depressed because I saw clearly that if Doris wanted to cuckold me then that is what would be. The alternatives on my side were few. Stay with Doris or leave her. That last was difficult. We had been through it all together. I was, and I hated to admit it very dependent on Doris. I could not, after all the years together, conceive of life without her.

But then, "WHAT IF?" I asked myself.

When I arrived home that night, I tried my best to be if not upbeat at least neutral. Doris knew my moods and saw through my pretend composure.

"What's wrong Dave?" she asked.

"Nothing, I guess I'm burning out on the work," I said.

"You work too hard you should slow down and take better care of yourself maybe join a gym," she said.

I looked at her hard then and very critically. You see I had joined a gym last year. I know I left every morning long before she awoke, but could she entirely have missed the results. I had lost thirty of the forty pounds I put on since we married, and I had plenty of muscle having a personal trainer three days every week. Her new boyfriend wasn't about me being out of shape or boring; it's all about her perceptions of me. I'm the comfortable old pair of slippers. The new sexy ones are what she wants to try on, but she will mostly wear the old ones although she no longer appreciates them. I didn't take heart from her hesitation because Doris needed to work herself up to things. She eventually bought that dress she had been looking at and talking about. She was a woman who needed a good deal of time to decide. She was still debating with herself whether to try on her new man.

The following day I got yet another surprise. The phone bug picked up a conversation I almost flipped past. Fact is I listened only because I was curious to see if my wife would even hint at things to her mother.

"Hi mom I wanted to confirm Thanksgiving with you. You are bringing the bourbon basted sweet potatoes and the broccoli salad."

"Of course Dear, but tell me how did the lunch with Mark go?"

"Oh, Mom he is so magnificent, but he is looking to take it further and I can't."

"And why not? I have no idea why you didn't straighten that husband of yours around years ago. Now you have lost the advantage. The kids are grown. You can't use them as leverage."

"Mom I could never have done that I may be a bad wife, but I couldn't be a bad mother."

"Nonsense you're a great wife. Has David ever complained? I'll answer that NO. You keep a perfect house, are a great cook, raised two wonderful young women and kept your man satisfied in the bedroom. I won't even mention the fact that you contribute more financially to the household than your husband."

"Yes but now I'm contemplating infidelity."

"No, you are not. It's only cheating if the man doesn't consent. David needs to be brought to an understanding that women are materially different than men. Our libidos go up with age while theirs go down. We need and crave variety in the bedroom while all they want is sex. We can please numerous men while our men are limited by their stamina. Your having another man is no reflection on Dave. He is a wonderful man, and he can prove that by giving you some space. Make sure he knows that he will come first and be treated very well."

"I don't know. David is a little boy in some ways do you really think he will share? And if he doesn't what might he do? I do not want to risk losing him."

"Look your father is not what anyone would call broad minded, yet I have been dating other men for nearly three decades now. He hasn't left me, and he isn't complaining. It took him some time to adjust, but once he did we were better than fine. You should know that."

"Yes but David is not Dad. I can't see him buying into my having a discrete lover."

"Alright let me talk to Agnes after all she handled his father, and she knows her son if anyone does. Remember she got him to marry you in the first place. Let me see what she thinks," my mother-in-law said and then with a few more unrelated words ended a conversation that knocked the preverbal socks off me.

What did she mean about my mother and father? I had a dreadful feeling that I knew, in fact, had always suspected, but refused to let myself go there. Bugging Doris' phone had been a mistake. Listing in made me feel inadequate. It was finding out what people think of you, and it was not very much.

The next few days I waited for developments, but there was none then my Daughter Beth called.

"Hi Mom Pat and I will be home late Tuesday for the holiday, but we need to come back Saturday. We got hot dates with two of the guys on the football team for Sunday after their game."

"Oh, good I will let your father know, but I thought Pat was dating that Rick guy who is a swimmer."

"Well, she is but he has to take what she gives him," Beth said with a giggle.

"I guess times have changed if guys are willing to let their girls date others."

"Oh, Mom you are so ancient, but tell me how things are going with Mark."

"They are not going--I am married to your Dad what am I going to do with Mark?"

"Oh, please Mom don't be so yesterday. Dad is a fat old man. He can't expect you to forgo a little sack time with a stud like Mark because of some out of date traditions. You need to go for it. Dad will understand. He loves you, and he really has no options. Who would want an old man like him?" Beth said. In the background, I could hear Patty putting in a "right on." Then apparently Patty grabbed the phone.

"Mom you want us to speak to Dad. We can explain it to him and remind him of all you have done for him. I know he loves you who could not, and you are hot he can't expect to monopolize you. It isn't fair to you."

"I don't know your father has never stepped out on me and God knows when he was younger he had the opportunity. He will probably not see it our way. Men have egos and your father can be very sensitive."

"But Mom, we know Dad loves you and I can't see him denying you anything if you explain how much you want and need a relationship with Mark. Just make sure he realizes you will always put him first. That is what I told Rick, and he is cool with it," Pat said.

"Well, girls your grandmother said she would speak to granny Langdon. I am sure between the two of them this will get sorted. I just hope you father can be brought to see that Mark represents no danger to him and what Mark and I have is a shadow of what your Dad and I have."

To say I was shocked and hurt to hear what my daughters had to say about me does not reach the dark heart of the pain I felt. Maybe I should have taken some comfort in the fact that my wife and daughters still maintained that Doris still loved this fat old man, but I did not. I was left reeling, and it was days before I could recover enough to take stock of my situation.

I had let myself go I could see how I must look to others. Yes, I had been working out and was quite fit, but I had done nothing about the gray in my hair or the out of style clothing I wore. An attorney needs to look conservative, but I had let myself look ancient. My first move was a trip to one of the new salons that had opened. I had some of the gray taken out, and my hair styled. They say men don't notice things; well Doris didn't even comment. My next move was a trip down to New York City on a clothing buying spree. I pretty much replaced my wardrobe and went out of my way to show off my new sleeker body. No, I did not look thirty again, but no older than my forty-five years.

Neither Doris nor my daughters noticed. When the girls arrived home for Thanksgiving, I expected some comments. I got the same perfunctory cheek kisses that I realized I had been getting for years. My family was taking me for granted expecting me just to be there when needed and out of the way when not. They had other concerns on their minds that did not involve me. To be fair, I had little in the way of common interest with my wife or daughters. We were strangers occupying the same house. I knew more about them now than they could know of me. I had always been self-contained and never open. Accordingly, they had formed opinions about me that were wrong.

Thanksgiving came and brought the families with it. The Boswells and the Landons arrived. The guests were the various grandparents, grandchildren, siblings and respective spouses, in all twenty-one came to gather around our dining room table set with all its leaves in place. They came early to watch the parade from New York on TV and the football after.

The women mostly collected in the kitchen and the men in the living room. I bowed out. I took a quick peek into the family room where the young kids were being supervised by my sister-in-law Maryanne and Larry Jr. wife, Anne, along with my daughter Beth. That accounted for everyone as I headed for the den and locked myself in. I put my ear buds in and settled down to listen to the conversation in the kitchen through my wife's phone.

"He's gone into the den and closed the door," I knew the voice to be my daughter Patty's.

"Good now someone tell me what's wrong with my son," I heard my mother say.

"What do you mean Mom?" My wife replied.

"Well, he is sporting new clothes, a new haircut and if I am not mistaken a little less gray hair."

"To tell you the truth I had noticed something, but I could not say just what," Doris said.

"If I'm not mistaken he is thinner than last year as well," my sister Paula said.

She and her husband and their daughter lived in California and had not seen me since last Christmas.

"Yes that could be," my Mom said.

"I don't know. Last two weeks he has been very down I thought he might have been having trouble at work again," Doris said.

"You don't think he knows about Mark. Do you?" my mother-in-law offered.

"I can't see how and there is nothing to know. I've done nothing with Mark." My loving wife said.

"He may be having a midlife crisis; he's at that age, and the girls are out of the house. That is probably it," my mother said.

"Yes that would explain it the hair, weight loss and clothes," mother Boswell offered.

"We need to proceed with caution then. He needs to be brought along slowly if he is having a mid-life funk," my mom said.

"Maybe I should put Mark on hold," Doris offered.

"Nonsense what Davy needs is a good if carefully landed kick in the pants. We need to snap him out of it and in the process get him with the program. It won't help matters if you are in a depression as well," my mother offered.

"So you think Mom should let him know that she wants to take a lover Gran," Patty asked.

"Well, not out of left field dear. I'm thinking more we get the men to soften him up, let him talk to his Dad and Larry. They can ease into it and share their experiences. They're both happy and well-adjusted to the situation. No reason your father can't be as well. But if he is suddenly feeling his age and life passing him by it is not the time to hit him straight out with the fact his wife is taking a young lover. No first we get him use to the idea," Mom said.

"Of being a cuckold?" Patty giggled.

"Most certainly not! Your father is a proud man and a good husband and father. He needs to be lead carefully, and his needs must be carefully provided for. I never let my husband go without. I never had sex with another that I did not also take care of my husband. He may have gotten seconds, but he always came first in my heart. Dave senior knows he is the love of my life. It's up to us, and I mean all of us to make my son feel loved. Doris you are first in line here, but we will have your back. CORRECT?" Mom said to general agreement.

It went on in this vein the women dissecting me and planning how I should be brought around. How and when Larry and my Dad should clue me in on the facts of married life to a 'hot wife'. They didn't use that term. In their opinion, they were providing for Doris' natural urges and legitimate needs. In that way, the marriage would be strong and both parties satisfied. After all Doris had married young and made many sacrifices. Now with the children gone it was a time she could explore while keeping her husband provided for. My mother was the principal mover and shaker and apparently had the most experience. The way they talked about me was as if I were a child they were trying to get to shape up and behave.

I listened until I could take it no more, and then I picked myself up and took off out of the house. I walked until I figured it was time for the Thanksgiving feast. When I returned to the house Doris was concerned. No one had noticed me leave, and my return left them wondering. Late that night when we were alone in the house except for the girls Doris wanted to know what was bothering me.

"Can't say except that I know things must change and maybe I am reluctant to head off into the unknown."

"Baby you know that no matter what, I will always love you and that you are and always will be the most important person in the world to me." She said snuggling close to me in bed.

I didn't respond because what could I say to that. Her words made me feel so guilty. She always made me feel guilty.

The first Saturday in December found me at Giant Stadium with my father and father-in-law. Larry had purchased the tickets and very good seats indeed. My old man sprang for the round trip limo and the liquor for the ride. Larry purchased the beer and snacks at the stadium. Both men were very well prepared. After an awkward start trying to ease into the topic of how great it is to be a cuckold they hit all my mother's essential points.

The main arguments were how women of a certain age need a youthful lover and the opportunity to explore their sexuality. How if you love your wife you give her the opportunity to explore and how much benefit you derive from this. I let them go saying nothing until the enviable extended time warp that is the last two minutes of every professional football game. Remembering once again how much I enjoyed playing football in my youth and how and why I hate to watch it.

"I certainly don't know everything, but I do know this if I ever caught Doris with another man that would be the end of the marriage no ifs ands or buts." I pronounced intending them to be my last words on the subject.

My elders spend the last two minutes of play that ran about twenty minutes trying to talk me out of my position to no avail. I simply kept repeating that any infidelity on Doris' part would end in my walking out.

"Who needs a slut for a wife? Because that is what that kind of woman is," I said both my elders call me immature and bigoted before heading off to the men's room. They were gone a long time, and the stadium was mostly clear before they returned to me and we headed home in a quiet limousine.

Later that night I discovered it was not just a line at the men's room. They had called home. Both my mother and mother-in-law then had called Doris before we got home to discuss the situation. Further steps were necessary. They didn't even wait a week before I was dragged off by Larry and Dad again; this time to a gentleman's club complete with all but nude dancers and barmaids. Larry and Dad alternated springing for overpriced drinks and lap dances. I kept my drinking to soft drinks and my lap free of foreign encumbrances. The words of wisdom, from my hedonistic elders, were all on the benefits of a mature and open marriage.

"I can't see myself trading my wife's fidelity for a lap dance," I said just before I walked out. I hailed a cab and took off on my own.

Nothing was later said about my dumping the two old fools.

As we ran up to Christmas the conversations, I heard were a bit more intense. Mark was romancing my wife and pressing for an assignation over the school break. It was perfect for the lovers. They were free all day, but I was theoretically working. In fact, if anyone had taken a good hard look at me he would have suspected that all was not right. I guess it is confession time. You see I am what some refer to as shady or crooked. I had stepped gingerly over the line for years until with the right temptation I left the line far behind.

It started with the keyhole lots for the less than knowledgeable a keyhole lot is a property that has only a small amount road frontage. The property may be difficult to build on because the access to the main body of land is limited. We create this situation in this part of the country because of our archaic zoning laws. Rural land can be sold in five acre parcels without subdivision requirements. Many farmers to raise cash begin selling off five acre parcels along the roadways. When the main farm goes for sale, there may only be a small amount of road front left. Thus, you get big lots with what is referred to as a keyhole access.

There were ten keyhole lots close to the New York State Thruway all of them improved by mobile homes or two bedroom prefab houses. They were in the middle of nowhere. They were twenty miles down substandard county roads from the Thruway interchange. They were very undesirable and, therefore, inexpensive property. Enter a big national retailer in need of a warehouse with good access to the interstate system. All they needed were the ten keyhole lots and a new Thruway entrance. No problem and my bud Jimmy was right there with the information well before it leaked out.

As I knocked on doors to push my services, I saw it. A small for sale sign on a dilapidated fence post. It turned out to be two hundred fifty plus acres of poor quality pasture. The remnant of an old dairy farm well out of the redevelopment zone, but sitting astride an old county road. That road would soon need to be replaced by a good state road that would lead right to the Thruway. This was land that was worth at best fifteen hundred an acre that would soon be twenty times as valuable. You would have to have been a saint to resist, and I was no saint.

The land purchase drained my 401k and every bit of savings I had. It left me land poor. My business became a money funnel to pay taxes and develop the land. I put it into a Wyoming corporation, Stuyvesant Ltd. that a somewhat dubious fellow sold me for seven thousand dollars. He had formed it five years before for someone like me who needed to shield what he was doing. Wyoming required no officer, director or stockholder be disclosed. Nothing connected me to Stuyvesant. That left me to explain to Doris that my business was in trouble, and I had little to contribute to the household expenses. I could not tell her why my finances were stretched, so I lied. I blamed the economy and tough competition.

Any other wife would have been angry or at least let me know what a loser I was. Doris kissed me and said, "We will be alright Davy—so long as we are all healthy and together what does it matter."

Doris worked extra classes and cut back on everything except what the girls needed. She went without. I don't think she bought herself a new item of clothing in the year and a half that I struggled. I promised I would make it up to her when the time came. But somehow it never did.

Two years after my purchase I sold the last acre, the average price I got was twenty-two thousand an acre. From there I was on my way buying in front of the state just beyond where they were purchasing. Questions were raised. The insiders who were use to doing what I was now doing were suspicious. Investigations were demanded, but the big shots did not want to kill the goose laying the golden eggs. I stayed small and out of their way.

I didn't touch the money. I told myself it was for our old age; mine and Doris'. By then people would have forgotten, and I could come up with some plausible explanation for my family of how my dirty money was honestly made. Last thing I wanted was for Doris and our families to know the kind of man I really am. At all cost, I had to protect my secret. I never dreamed that I would be listing to the dirty secrets of my family.