Modern Day Cavegirls - Dirty Love

Suzi sighed and held on tight, whispering into Jane's ear, "Yes. I don't care about anything anymore. I'm sure now. Take me to bed and do whatever you want with me. Teach me what I need to know. Just hold me close and whisper to me."

She kissed Jane's ear, "I'll walk with you and hold your hand anytime and anywhere – as long as we can have this. If you want someone beside you for your life, Jesus, Janey pick me."

Jane's phone rang and she reached for it. Suzi looked at Jane's clothed body during the motion and had an odd thought.

Jane was beautiful. That much was what she'd always known. But here, like this, the thought came to her that she really wanted to be held against that body and she wondered why it had always been there as a small want.

She only knew that it had become a bigger one to her lately, around the time when she felt that she was being displaced by Brett in her own home and that it had been extending to her whole life. She hadn't had a conscious thought that she needed Jane to get her out of the mud she was stuck in; it hadn't been that way at all.

But she knew how Jane was and she knew that Jane was always alone most of the time. She knew that she herself was terribly unhappy.

Maybe Jane was alone because she couldn't have the one that she wanted and then Suzi knew.

But it had taken an awfully long time to get here. She hoped that this worked between them and though she admittedly knew little, or thought that she did, she didn't care because she was determined to know.

What she did know was that she wanted Jane and if it could be that way, then she wanted her for the long term. She didn't know what she'd do for a job, but ...

"Ok," Bobbi said over the phone, "I've had a couple of calls from Damian all day. He needs for me to make somebody disappear by taking her to Angel Fire. I haven't got a clue who she is. I've gotta make my drop at the Apache strip on the way back and we'll probably get in late. I'm heading out now. I'll pick her up tomorrow evening and be home later tomorrow night.

So you've gotta take over for me tomorrow and get everybody started on their busy days. I've checked the board and you're clear for pretty much all the way to halfway into next week, and we'll meet up or I'll call so I know how it's going. Think you can do all that, Janey?"

"Yeah," Jane said, "I know it's getting late but I was just gonna call you about something else, though maybe it can wait. All the rest, I'll handle Bobbi, don't worry."

"Tell me anyway," Bobbi asked and Jane could hear her smile as she said it.

"Well remember how you're gonna be wanting Max to spend time in the shed and work out a plan to move the Norseman? Suzi's here with me. She's got some odd things going on at her house and she needed to get away. She asked me and she's here with me now."

Jane smiled, "I seem to be living the nice ending that I've dreamed of all of my life, but that's really secondary to my question. Do you think we can have Suzi work to learn to handle our line while Max steps out of the job? She needs the work and it would help her to get enough together to move out and be on her own."

"Is she there with you?" Bobbi asked and Jane told her yes.

"Put her on please and I'll ask her myself. I need for her to know what's involved in that job."

Jane passed over the phone, "Bobbi wants to talk with you about a possible job."

Suzi took the phone, "Hey Bobbi."

Bobbi laughed a little, "Hi Suzi, I only have a couple of questions for you. I don't have time to help with your troubles at home at the moment since I'm busy myself, but you know how I am and we can get into it when I get back, so don't worry, honey. You know I'll help if I can. If I know you – and I have all of your life – you would probably be in this place now anyway.

I do have a job. It involves fueling and moving aircraft with machines as well as doing small maintenance checks like daily ones. I have somebody who can and will train you well for that job and it's full time and there are some weekends needed at premium time, of course. I'm not running a grocery store.

Think you can handle that? Say yes any time now."

Suzi looked over at Jane, who nodded, "Yes, Bobbi. I can handle that."

"Fucking awesome," Bobbi sighed in a bit of relief, "I had Max in that spot, but now I need her doing something else. In the long run, I can't see the harm in having two line boys – which is what the job is traditionally called. I'll tell Jane to have Amy sign you on Monday morning and get you fitted out with uniforms while she's at it.

Ok, last thing.

Susan Horseman, are you there trying to seduce my kid sister?

And is it going at all well at this point?"

Susan was shocked, but she looked at Jane who'd been close enough to overhear anyway.

Jane was nodding with bright eyes and a wide smile, batting her eyelashes at a tremendous rate. Suzi could almost feel the breeze from them.

She laughed, "I believe that it is, yes. We're talking and we're alone if that's what you mean."

Bobbi looked at her watch and groaned, "Not good enough, Suzi. You need to pick up the pace a little and keep her the hell away from shiny objects or you'll just lose her attention.

My suggestions – go to the fridge and get a couple of bottles of beer since it'll save you having to get them later. Bring them back and set them down on the table. She'll stare at them and ask you what it's about and at that point, she'll be distracted and not looking at you, since the labels on that brand are made of shiny foil.

You need to get her locked up tight in your sights, girl. So while she's looking at the bottles you take your top off and I'd say that you'd be home free after that. She won't even know what day it is.

She's been in love with you since you two were five or six years old.

Remember when she told you about how she felt inside? That was her pushing herself toward you. You were kids and you couldn't have understood it then, but I knew and I've ached that you two might get where you now are for a long time.

You got all that? 'Cause I'm in the air right now and I can't come over to give you pointers tonight."

Susan laughed and said that she'd do it.

"Out fucking standing!" Bobbi said, "You guys have always needed to be together. I've known that for years. Please put Janey on the phone so I can growl at her for a minute."

When Jane came on the line. Bobbi said, "Here's your chance. Don't screw this up, since it only took forever to get this far. I don't have either the patience or the longevity for another lap on the Janey-and-Suzi-go-round. Make her happy. Let her make you happy.

And this is what I was talking about before – do not just forget about Max.

Ok, I might see you Saturday for a few minutes. Even I if I don't, you get Su-jin to sign Susan on and have her call to get the uniform guy in to get her measured. You got all that?"

Jane chuckled, "Yeah, I got it, thanks Bobbi. Goodnight."

Night sweetie, "Bobbi said and she hung up and looked out through her windshield and sighed.

Jane was staring with a soft smile. While Bobbi had been speaking to Jane, Susan had brought the beers and taken off her clothes.

"I don't have ghost flames and I'm not all orange, thank God, but I'm hoping that you might see how serious I am."

Jane pulled Suzi down onto her lap and she kissed her before she hugged her tightly, "As far as this goes, I was yours when you said you've really had thoughts of being with me lately."

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This was the most god-awful night that Su-jin could imagine. Bobbi had called her hours ago and informed her that the adoption was a go if the papers were signed all-around the next day. She'd mentioned that her attorney or one of her many minions would be present at a certain time for this.

Su-jin had protested and asked, "Doesn't it take time? In my country, I have read of couples waiting for years to be approved. How can this happen so quickly here?"

Bobbi had stressed the difference between the types of adoption. "Private adoptions aren't subject to social workers needing to prove that they're diligent and dutiful. A good lawyer is always more diligent than almost any civil servant because they have to be.

You never hear about it, but over forty percent of the total number of adoptions in this country happen this way as private agreements."

That had been hours ago and Su-jin was still upset. And it was worse because that she knew that Jodi was naturally more upset. Su-jin felt a little like a thief.

She'd needed to talk to somebody – even if they were just breathing and listening at the other end. But Jane was out somewhere and Bobbi had to fly to Los Angeles that evening.

She'd called Kwang-jo.

In his calm voice, she heard something for her that she needed to hear. The trouble was that there was no way that anyone could have calmed her completely and she knew it. But he had listened and even made the right noises at the appropriate times. Given that he was a man and taking her general opinion of men at large into account, she was a little reluctantly impressed – as well as thankful.

He did offer her things which surprised her when he'd said that he'd give her two things which might give her a little bit of comfort. He'd provide his schedule to her, so that she knew when he was on duty over the next month or so until he got his next one and gave it to her as well.

He also gave her three telephone numbers in addition to the one that she already had.

"You might have to fiddle with phones," he'd said, "but as much as I can, you will be able to reach me if you need to. If you can't, then I will be in the middle of something and I will still get the message that you called. I promise that I will call you back.

No one with a heart could pass though this and feel nothing – or only one side of it. Sometimes, talk is needed. I will try. But even so, I will always listen."

She was thankful for that. Earlier in the day, they'd managed to meet up in town for lunch and in spite of what she had going on in her head and her heart, Su-jin enjoyed it.

Kwang-jo had meant what he'd said about being a friend. The way that it was going, she felt that in some ways, Kwang-jo was like a male Ji-soo to her, but without the uncertainty which Ji-soo had always lived under.

But she was still a ball of nervous energy with nowhere to dissipate.

She looked in the fridge and saw a couple of bottles of beer. One or two of them might offer her the only chance at getting any sleep at all tonight.

Maybe a bottle of beer and a little fresh air, she thought.

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Max was still outside. She'd wandered over to where her trike was and thrown her leg over the seat to sit in the saddle. Overall, she was happy. She leaned back so that her back was against the top of the box there and she sighed.

She heard a sound after a minute and looked to find it's source in the darkness. There was a figure there, struggling with something a little and cursing quietly under her breath. Max leaned forward and the old leather seat squeaked a little bit just once.

The figure looked up.

"Hi," Max said quietly. She figured it might be a good opening.

"Oh, hi," the person said, "I have trouble with beer bottle." She grunted for a moment, "Stupid thing. It piss me off little bit."

Max leaned forward, trying to see better, "Amy? Is that you?"

"Yes," Su-jin laughed a little as she stepped closer, "Who are you?"

"It's me, Max."

Su-jin walked up, "Hi! I wanted to meet you all week, but I never get time."

Max stood up on the footboards of the trike and reached into her pocket, "I've got an opener."

"That's good," Su-ji smiled, "I have a bottle."

The problem was solved instantly and Su-jin held out the opened bottle, "Want some?"

Max nodded and sipped a little before she handed it back.

"You hide pretty good, Maxine," Su-jin said, "We live so close, but I never see you here either. I get ... determined today, but you weren't home. Gone somewhere with Jane, I think."

Max nodded, "We went to Santa Fe. Jane wanted to pick up her new bike. Please, call me Max."

"Ok, then you call me Su-jin, please. Deal?"

Max grinned, "Sure."

Su-jin saw the orange bike in the darkness, "Look pretty good. Fast, I think."

Max nodded as she took the offered bottle again, "Too fast. I can't keep up with my old piggy here. Jane always has to slow up and wait for me to catch up."

Su-jin stepped closer and looked at the trike, "This is nice, Max. Look older maybe, but I like it. Classy, I think. What are you doing here in the dark?"

Max shrugged, "I was going to go for a walk, but I've been here for a little while now and ... I haven't thought of anywhere to walk yet."

Su-jin nodded, "I wanted to go to sleep, but I already know that it won't happen for me. I was with Jodi before and I love her little boy too. But we are apart now and she will leave soon. It is crazy to me, but she does not want to take her son where she goes."

She looked at Max with a troubled expression, "I leaned that I can adopt Tyler. Max, I am so upset now. Jodi is crying. Tyler will cry a lot soon – I am close to crying too. I feel like I riding crazy ride or something, like dream that is not good and not horrible – just lousy.

I think that I can have Tyler for my son and I want him so much, but it will hurt Jodi forever, I think."

She looked down, "That is why I am here. I want world to stop. I need to think, but I have thought of everything and it is still the same thing."

Max nodded, "Do you love him?"

Su-jin nodded, "Yes. Max, that is the only thing that I know like I know my name."

Max smiled, "Then love him.

I don't know Jodi at all. I think that she didn't plan to make him, it just happened. From when he was born to now, she's done her best, but maybe she knows that her best won't help them both."

She held out her hand, "I've wanted to meet you all week. The closest that I got was to stand almost next to you when Bobbi introduced us to everyone. Do you want to go for a walk?"

Su-jin nodded, "Yes. I think that I need to."

She took Max' hand and they set out, just ambling along with the bottle being passed between them.

"A while ago," Max said, "As I was heading south and trying to get away from the winter. I was starving."

She looked over at Su-jin, "I don't mean that I missed two meals and I was hungry. I mean really starving, where I had to sit behind the windshield of my piggy doubled over in a ball and crying, it hurt so bad. I couldn't really stop because I had no place to be where it was warm.

I saw a big house and ... I don't know, I just thought that maybe I could go there and ask for a little bread. Looking back now, I know that it was a mistake, but it was very hard to think straight then.

I was led into a room because the man who opened the door said that he would give me food."

She looked down and hesitated then as Su-jin waited. Finally she said, "Nobody gave me anything. They pulled my clothes off me and they all had fun for hours – seven men."

She wiped a tear from one of her eyes and said, "I was very lucky. They threw me out into the snow naked, but none of them hit me and I was alive.

For the next few weeks, I worried about what I'd do if they made me pregnant. I was starving all by myself, what would I do with a baby? As bad as it was for me, I would have given that baby up for adoption. What happened to make that baby wouldn't be the child's fault and it would have at least a chance that I couldn't give him or her. If I looked at it that way, I thought that doing that would be the only gift that I could give.

I don't know what Jodi's situation is, but maybe she knows that her son will have a better life with you."

She looked over, "I don't think that she believes that you're a greedy person who will take advantage of her bad luck. I also don't think that she sees you as one of those people who want a child because they'd like to see what it is to have a child. Most of those people shouldn't have children. Children aren't a hobby.

I believe that Jodi's thought about it and sees that you would do anything for that boy – so to give him to you – maybe she sees it as the best gift that she can give to him."

Su-jin stopped and stared at Max, "You ... you poor girl."

She hugged Max tightly and a little later, Max returned the hug. She didn't understand everything that Su-jin said against her shoulder, but it was something about men and she shook her head, "I'm not big on guys, but not every one is an asshole. Some of the biggest assholes that I ever met were girls. That's how the world is. My father was a good man – and he couldn't have been the only one in the world."

She sighed and looked into Su-jin's eyes with a weak little wry smile, "Assholes have no gender. They're just assholes. I'm supposed to be planning out how to do a million things to fix up a really old plane. Bobbi and Jane want to do that for a man who is really important to them both. I can't imagine that he's an asshole if they love him that much."

Su-jin nodded, "I didn't mean it like ALL are like that. But sometimes to me ... when I think of it, there are some who can do the job for many. My father is one like that. Biggest asshole I ever see."

She looked around, "Where is Jane? You are together with her?"

Max shrugged, "Sometimes. I don't know how to say it so you can understand, Su-jin.

Jane and I are ... we're like the same thing. Sometimes we NEED to be together, sometimes, not so much. It's only been a few days really. Right now, Jane has a chance with her friend from when they were kids together.

I know that she's always wanted – or had a hope, maybe – of being with her old friend Suzi. I didn't know a thing about it until a couple of hours ago. We were waiting for her, but I didn't know then."

Max smiled at Su-jin, "Then I saw Suzi so I asked if Jane knew her and just in the way that she told me and by the look in her face, I knew that there was something there in her chest for Suzi and it was old, Su-jin, from a long time ago."

She shrugged and smiled, "And Suzi turned out to be a very sweet, nice girl, too. I don't know what went wrong if it did, but I'm kind of hoping that they can make it this time."

Max looked at Su-jin, "I think that Suzi might have agreed to be with both of us – but she's never been with even one girl before, so I thought the best thing for me to do was to go for now."

She smiled, "They knew each other as children. I don't want to get in the way, Su-jin.

Does that make any sense at all?"

Su-jin smiled and nodded, "I think you are very good friend to think like this. Max. It is hard lesson for Jane, I think."

Max smiled, "I heard a little about it. I know that she was very sorry for a long time for it. I also heard that she was pretty happy to talk to you about it the other day. She told me about it and she said that it felt good to have at least a chance to be friends again. She just hasn't seen Jodi yet."

Su-jin sighed, "She will not have chance if she wait very much longer. Jodi will leave soon.

It was good for me when I start with Jodi, but she changed very soon after. Even so, I was happy when I come home and get Tyler from Rose in house and I play with him and feed him and we have fun. So good boy.

I wait for Jodi-Lynn come home and I try to make everything better for her. But she is tired and I understand." She shrugged, "Then she get mean to me, but it was good before for a little while and I liked it."

"I have something a little like that too," Max smiled, "but Jane is never mad at me for anything. Sometimes she flies until almost dark, but not every day so far. When she gets back to the hangar, I've been gone for hours. I have my wheels there so I don't have to wait. Anyway, she has her e-bike and she takes it to work so she can ride home.