Modern Day Cavegirls

Just before that, I learned that my oldest friend had always wanted us to be lovers. But that can never be now. My heart hurts anyway.

I was sent here, and I lived unhappily until now - it is better now because I took a job working for Jane's sister. Last night ... I should have known. I felt happy and let myself feel that way.

I thought, in the middle of everything, I have found a girl who wants me for myself.

She was just busier than I would have thought, and I feel like a fool again.

I never thought about airplanes, Jodi. They were things that I saw from the ground and if I thought of them, I imagined that they were taking people away to be happy."

She shook her head just a tiny bit and sighed again. "I have ridden on an airplane three times in my life now. Each time, they take me farther from where I wanted to be. Really, I want to be back there, but I cannot go, and it is more than this. I want to be there before this sadness happened to me. But I can change nothing, so I must find my way and live where I am now.

And a little leaf floating on a river can only float for so long. Sooner or later, they all sink, every one of them."

Jodi looked up, "That's really very beautiful - though it's awfully sad at the same time. I've felt like that forever, now that I've heard you say that. But in my case, it was just a Texas tornado and there isn't any water. It's all just dust.

What are you going to do now?"

Su-jin frowned a little, "What I must do. I have to live, so I will do my job for Bobbi. Maybe I can even like it. I probably have to have dealings with Jane, but I don't want to.

For now, I need to have all of my hair dyed black again or I will look like an idiot on Monday. I also need to get to the computer store that Bobbi buys her phones and computers from so that I can get the things that I need to do the job. I wanted to be finished or almost finished by this time."

She groaned, "How will I find this store? How to get there, I do not know. And my hair ..." she shook her head.

"I can help you," Jodi said, "I've got some things to say to Jane, but it won't take long. I'll ask her what the name of the store is, and I'll ask her for Bobbi's number. Don't you worry about the hair dye. I'll buy you some and I'll dye your hair for you."

Su-jin nodded, "Thank you, but I have no car and no license. Should I ask Jane to call for a taxi?"

Jodi shook her head, "I've got a truck and I need to go into town anyway to get a little food. You wait right here - and try to keep Inspector Gadget there out of your stuff. I'll come right back and we can go to town."

She was almost at the door when she stopped and looked back, "Did you mean what you said to Tyler - about him having a beautiful mother?"

Su-jin nodded with a bit of surprise showing on her face that it was in question at all, "Yes, I see you that way. So beautiful, a child from nature. I thought that you must have ... love from the earth. You look so - like you fit with it more than most people."

She smiled, "Look at your boy. So beautiful child. I see you in his face, his hair and how he is made. These things, I see in you too. Not always, but beautiful woman make beautiful child."

Jodi came back and kissed Su-jin on the cheek and only for an instant. "Thank you, Su-jin. That's the nicest thing that anybody's ever said to me."

Then she was gone.

Su-jin stared at the closed door for a moment before her hand came up to touch her cheek in surprise.

She looked down at Tyler who sat holding up some of her underwear. He looked up at her and she shrugged.

Tyler laughed.

------------------------

He was laughing when Jodi came back. She stared.

Su-jin was in a low squat with her legs far apart. She was moving side to side slowly with a slight grimace coming to her face now and then.

"What are you doing?" Jodi asked.

"My muscles and tendons are tightening," Su-jin said, "I didn't try too hard, that bad for ..."

She indicated her groin muscles with her hand. "I didn't want to force them and now I don't want them to tighten or maybe it takes two - three days before I can try again."

She stood up straight and looked at the bathroom doorjamb for a moment. "I could stretch for far before."

She stepped over to it and stood in the doorway at the other side of it. Looking up at the top corner, she slowly raised her right foot, as though she was preparing to kick. But she didn't.

She slowly extended her leg and reached with her foot for that spot. She was a little shy of making it, so she lowered her foot and moved her other one a little closer this time.

Trying again, she got nearer and then she slowly pushed herself so that her crotch spread a little wider as she relaxed into it and at the same time, her foot rose a little higher along the doorframe.

Jodi couldn't believe it, "How do you do that?"

"Only one way," Su-jin smiled, "Lots of work."

She pushed herself a little more and then stopped suddenly, exhaling gently and making it sound as though she was whispering "ha," over and over again. She'd reached the limit for today and only stood there testing it, "Ha, ha, ha, ha."

She worked her way back to standing once more before she repeated the whole thing with her left foot. "That the end," she said, "one millimetre more and I tear something. But not so tight muscles now."

"I've never seen anybody do something like that, "Jodi said.

Su-jin laughed softly, "Before, when I fighting and in shape, I could stand with foot against edge and have other foot against top. My legs were against the edge of frame all the way, no space."

She smiled, "I do it once when I was alone and I was naked. I wanted to see if legs were all the way against door frame. I was looking at mirror on back of other door to see how it looked."

She chuckled, "I start to laugh then. I almost hurt myself. That is not good way to have body when you laugh."

"Why were you laughing?" Jodi asked chuckling as well.

Su-jin's eye grew large, "I didn't think. I was only thinking to see how well I was doing. I not think until I could see me like that. Legs all the way and touching the doorfame." She pointed toward her crotch, "This against doorframe too."

She started to laugh from the memory.

"Looked like I was stuck against wall."

After their laughter, Jodi asked, "Couldn't you just do that on the floor? Wouldn't it be easier then?"

Su-jin nodded, "In some ways yes. But using floor there is danger. You slip and you tear something for sure."

-------------------

"What did you say to Jane?" Su-jin asked as they drove in the truck with Tyler in his car seat pointing things out to Su-jin. He might also just have been zooming his hands through the air. They couldn't tell.

"Or is this private?"

"Some," Jodi said, "A little bit anyway. I went over there to give her a piece of my mind, but she was crying then and I didn't see the point anymore. I asked her for the things that you wanted and she even gave me a card that Bobbi gave her to use. She said that you just use it like a credit card to pay for the things that you need to get and hand the card and the bill of sale to Bobbi on Monday. She looked up Bobbi's number on her phone and she wrote it down for me to give you later when you're ready to call."

"She was crying?" Su-jin asked, "I thought that she might be sorry, a little for me and I had hoped much more for you, but I didn't think that it was worth that to Jane.

She did not say that she was sorry to me."

"Oh it is worth it," Jodi said, a little sadly, "Bobbi had called her to ask why she hadn't heard from you yet and was there something wrong. Jane told her what happened. She left me out of it, because I don't think that Bobbi knew about her and me.

I just heard the last part of the call when I walked in. Jane was crying and I could hear that Bobbi was about losing her mind. I think I know what it was about too. You can't hire somebody and then take them to bed. I'm sure it happens all the time, but you're not supposed to."

"But I didn't go to bed with Bobbi," Su-jin said, confused now.

"It might have come close," Jodi said, "Bobbi was about to make Jane the head of the agricultural division to take over from her Dad so he can retire. I know it hasn't happened yet is all - and I'm not sure because I didn't hear that part, but I think that now it won't happen for a while.

Bobbi and her father built that business and to her, it's the greatest work of her life. She won't let anything threaten it while she's breathing.

Like I said, I'm not really sure, but I think that Bobbi might have taken that little toy away from Jane's fingers, since she doesn't seem to be able to keep one thing from clouding another like business and getting laid. I'm not happy about seeing Jane cry, but it might be what she needs to help her see clearly."

"What is 'getting laid'?" Su-jin asked.

"It means sex," Jodi said.

Su-jin looked ahead blankly and said, "Oh.

Did you give ... what did you call it, a piece of your mind?" Su-jin asked, "Many English sayings are so confusing to me. Why give a piece of mind so easily, I was thinking. Can only do that so many times and then what?"

Jodi shook her head, though she laughed, "I would have - if she hadn't been crying hard. Really, I just wanted to say that seeing her with someone who obviously had been there overnight where she was comfortable enough in the morning to wear only a robe that wasn't even done up all the way just told me that I was being used and I didn't like it. I said that I'd expected to remain a friend if what we had wasn't love or at least pretty mutual. That was about it."

She pulled into a strip mall and pointed at one store. "That's where you need to go, Su-jin. Jane told me to remind you about the phone - that it should have point to point ability so that Bobbi can get you anywhere around here instantly.

She said the laptop is up to you because you'd know what you'd need. I haven't got a clue. I've used computers before, but I've never owned one. I know I'll have to get one when Tyler needs one, but ... that's about it."

Su-jin shook her head, "Jane told me that you were starting a business. How soon, Jodi?"

Jodi thought about it ,"Within the next half-year, I'd say. I want to do it when business is slow - like in the winter when I'll have time. Why?"

"I think that you need a computer now to get familiar," Su-jin said. The problem is that you can't write it off the same way that Bobbi can. I would have to check, because I'm from Korea and not America, but I think that when you do set up your business, you can claim things that you needed to have just to start. So If you bought a computer before the business, then you could claim it as one of those things. We can talk about it later.

I like to garden and you are a gardener. You think of starting your business and I am a bookkeeper. I see a fit so we can help each other. You already have a phone?"

"Yeah," Jodi said, "It's not much though. I got it so my other customers can get a hold of me."

"Can you send text messages on it?" Su-jin asked, "I will buy a cheap pay as you go one if they have any there. I want you and I to be able to talk without the minutes showing up on Bobbi's statement."

"Don't you trust her or something?" Jodi asked.

Su-jin nodded, "I do, at least until she gives me a reason why I shouldn't. She has been very good to me, but I want to be able to reach you on my own phone."

Jodi looked over, "Jane also said to say that she's really sorry."

Su-jin blew past her lips, "Does that make you feel better? I don't care that she said that. Did she say that she is sorry to you, Jodi?"

Jodi nodded, "Yes. I just nodded, I left it lying there. I know that the whole thing wasn't as important to her as it was to me. It just wasn't right."

Su-jin nodded, "If it wasn't important then she should have let you know that, I think. It wasn't important to tell you - or me that there was someone else."

She had a thought and looked over, "She was away somewhere. Some weeks, I think."

Jodi nodded, "She as in Arkansas for a course. She came back most weekends."

"Did she let you know which weekends that she would be back?" Su-jin asked.

Jodi shook her head, No. I'd try to see if she was home by looking."

Su-jin sighed, "Then it was not love to her. I only knew that it was love to you, Jodi. I saw it in your eyes. That's why I was so angry. I don't know her much, but I think that she has always had anything she want.

Life is not so wonderful and nice when you are alone and far from people you know. I know this lesson. I was girl who like go dancing and have fun. I trust too easy.

After what happened to me, I do not give trust so easy anymore."

She threw up her hands, "I still did it again last night. I must be too stupid to learn my own lesson. But I know this; I am not important to anyone. No one know me, no one care. All friends gone.

But I am still me.

If I give trust, then it is from only an unimportant person. But if it broken, I will not give again. We meet yesterday, but Jane said she wants to be friends with me.

"

She shrugged, "She will cry until the winds change or the clouds move. Maybe someone will give her present to make her feel better. She has already forgotten it.

But I will remember."

Su-jin smiled, "Oooh, so dark and angry. I do not mean it like that, Jodi. I mean I learn from my mistake. Try to anyway. Far away in Korea, my family go on, friends forget about me. I forget about them too. I have no family now."

She smiled, "I start again, fresh start."

Jodi pulled into a parking spot and looked at Su-jin, "I'm gonna do my shopping, and I'll meet you either here or in the store. I'll also get the hair dye if I can to save time. You can pay me back later."

She pulled Tyler from his seat and put him into his stroller as Su-jin walked around. "Su-jin, I like this. I really like just being with you. I'm so glad that I met you today.

I'm not sure what it is about you - whether it's just because you're from another place in the world or what, exactly. I'm kind of hoping that it's something about your personality that I haven't seen in another person before, but whatever it is, I really enjoy it."

"Thank you," Su-jin smiled, "It's good to hear that. I just thought that I was stranger here that people just put up with. You have what I think they call a sunny disposition and I am attracted by it. Being with you is very nice to me."

"I wanted to tell you something on the way here, "Jodi smiled, "but every time that I thought of it, something else came up and it slipped my mind again. You said that you wanted me to use your name and I like it so much. I never had much family, but my Momma told me once that when there were a lot of us, we tended to give our children double-barrelled names, the first and second names liked by a hyphen. It was just sort of a custom where we were from once upon a time. So Tyler here, his name is Tyler-Thomas McLeod. My name is Jodi-Lynn McLeod. I could never get Jane to remember, but I'm hoping that -"

Su-jin grinned, "My name is like that, Jodi-Lynn. I will use it from now on."

Jodi had been bent over trying to get Tyler to hold still long enough to get him buckled in. It might have gone faster if she hadn't been looking up at Su-jin the whole time.

In the past eight months, Su-jin had never felt much like her old self at all.

But today, just like the post in front of her house, she felt somehow like this feeling in her was like a sign and she liked it and felt some of her nature coming back at last. She knew the way that Jodi felt about a lot of things because if it wasn't already plain, she'd tell you in her pleasant way. She already felt like more of a friend than Jane had to her and the difference was pretty much absolute.

Su-jin wasn't normally given to have what-the-hell moments but she was having one right now.

She looked around a little covertly and then she bent down and kissed Jodi-Lynn on the lips quickly.

Jodi-Lynn stared up with her mouth open.

Su-jin put on a shocked expression with her hand covering her open mouth and even tossed in a wink before she began to laugh.

Jodi-Lynn laughed too and when she stood up, she was beaming as she turned to head into the grocery store.

Su-jin even knew what it was. It was a bittersweet thing to her, but it was a real moment.

Jodi-Lynn McLeod didn't look much like Ji-soo, other than in a few common features like height and overall shape. The hair was far different, and not only in color and length. Ji-soo didn't have breasts shaped like Jodi-Lynn's and her legs didn't look anything like Jodi-Lynn's But Su-jin was thinking more along the lines of what sort of person Jodi-Lynn was, not really looking to make physical comparisons because they weren't important.

In a strong way, Su-jin felt as though she'd regained a friend of the same standing to her heart - it was that easy to tell. They had similar personalities, cultural differences notwithstanding and there was something else that Su-jin had seen.

Both women were the same in their temperaments - exactly the same. They bore the misfortunes in their lives stoically and for a close friend, once they had that friend - they were the most staunch in their loyalties that anyone could ever be.

They weren't the same person - not at all.

Su-jin ached a little, because when she'd had the chance at the agency, she'd emailed Ji-soo many, many times and hadn't ever gotten a reply. As sad as it was to Su-jin, she felt that she had a clue about why that might be.

It might be right out of a corny movie, but long before Su-jin had gone away, Ji-soo had always maintained an almost daily presence on her Facebook page. When she'd looked while at the agency, Su-jin had almost wept and had hung on until she'd left to go to work at the crappy convenience store. She'd wept all the way on the bus, most of her shift and the whole next night and day.

Ji-soo had made the last update to her page about a week after Su-jin had left. All that it said was, "Today my sadness ends."

Su-jin felt that she knew exactly what that meant.

To have found someone like Jodi-Lynn, Su-jin felt that, like the old wooden post, she was being given another chance.

One that she was determined not to ever waste or even take lightly.

She just wanted to enjoy the sunshine of that smile and be the friend of someone who was a little unconditional about how they felt when they liked someone.

--------------------

Tyler was well-behaved normally for a little boy. He was being especially well-behaved today it seemed to Jodi. She was a little surprised, but was happy to see it as she shopped.

Jodi had always been the sort of girl who liked to look for the good in people. It wasn't out of anything other than a well-meaning interest.

She knew that she wasn't necessarily the brightest bulb in the box and at times when she'd felt overcome with the hardships of her life, she sometimes castigated herself over it, wishing that she'd been born smarter or better-looking, or whatnot, but it didn't last long most times.

She'd never known her father and didn't know a thing about him other than what her mother had told her - that he was a mean, low-down prick of a man who'd sweet-talked her legs apart and run off once he'd rung her bell, so to speak.

But Jodi had long-ago come to the conclusion that he'd probably just had enough of her shrilling. She knew that she certainly had.

She'd sometimes wondered where they'd come from, her mother and her. She didn't know of any relations at all. As she'd grown, she'd seen something in her mother which had alarmed her as a little girl. It was all out of a child's observations and she knew that, but there was a main theme.