Modern Day Cavegirls

Two of them are Korean Naval commandos now. The other two are in the Korean Special Forces. My father is a hand-to-hand combat instructor with one battalion of the Special Forces where I come from. We lived in the country when I was born, but we moved to the city when he was transferred nearby.

He is feared by his students - but not by me. I fought with him all of my life so that he would even look at me. When I was old enough, I read all of his books - all of his notes. I watched everything I could."

She took a moment to let the feelings in her settle and then she began again.

"Obviously I wasn't as strong as my brothers and my father always told me that I am a girl and it is not for girls to fight. I was always the obedient daughter, but I still had to survive growing up against four brothers. Nobody defended me against them. I could scream with agony and my mother would do nothing. She treated her sons like princes, so I knew that I was alone."

She looked away across the coffee shop, "I hope that she is happy now. When my father goes to work, she is in an empty house that she made for herself."

Jodi-Lynn looked at her, "Do you mean that, or ..."

Su-jin looked back, "No. She told me to make my life somewhere else. So here I am.

I don't care if she is happy or not. I will never see her again."

She smiled a little, "I remember one time that I spoke against my father when he told me what I was to be because I am a girl. It was in his office at home and I yelled at him that he was wrong. I made him angry enough to slap me, but he couldn't catch me. I almost destroyed his office.

He said that I couldn't fight and I told him that he was wrong. I told him that I WOULD fight and I would win.

I am not large - but I am strong for my weight and very fast. Without his permission, I began anyway. I fought in my weight class and also the one above mine. He was furious with me and didn't speak to me for months. He thought that he was punishing me.

I thought it was normal for us.

I think that he believed that I would embarrass him. I did it over three years. The beginning of the last year was when I decided that I was ready to compete seriously. I went to university and I fought at night. I got high grades and I won fights. He didn't care if he even knew.

Then if he saw me, he asked me how badly I was losing. I asked him if he saw any marks on my face. He pointed to the bruises on my arms and my legs, since I was always wearing shorts when I trained in my room.

I laughed at him. 'Show me YOUR arms. You say what you like,' I told him, 'I am still right and you are wrong.' He had bruises on his arms and legs quite often. That comes with the job.

I think that was when he knew that I was serious and not only playing. When this picture was taken, he came to watch me and I know that I surprised him very much. He was proud of me. He said that to me.

I told him that I was ready to become his daughter again.

For a short time, a large copy of that photograph held place of honor on his wall. My worthless brothers hated me for it. I didn't care. I told them to ...

I told them to fuck off. I did something that they did not dare to even think about. I stood up to my father all of my life and I won.

But by that time, I had changed, Jodi-Lynn. After seeing the cost to losers, I decide that I could do that to someone - but not without a reason. Winning title was not good reason to me.

She sighed as she looked at her own face in the shot. "It lasted a few months after this. My father wanted me to keep fighting and I didn't want to anymore. Really, I knew that nothing changed for him. When I was just a girl to him, I was something less than my brothers. After what I'd done, he saw me differently, but for the wrong reasons."

Su-jin sighed, "I knew other people my age. Nobody I knew had a father like mine. A son was everything to him and a daughter ... not so much."

She pointed at Tyler, "If Tyler does well at anything, you would be proud FOR him, not so much for yourself. My father was more worried with how what I did made him look. In my eyes, it made him seem a little smaller to me.

Then I did something which shamed my family. I was sent to live in Baltmore. I left there because I was about to kill the false uncle who sponsored me to come. The arrangement that my father had made was not what he said. I was cheated, but I had to live in it. I had no money.

I couldn't complain to my father - he wouldn't have cared. My mother also.

So I found a job and I came here. My family does not love me anymore and now I do not care. I am here."

She closed the browser and looked at Jodi-Lynn, "I am here and you need to understand something, Jodi-Lynn. If it is not war and it is not combat, then life is still competition. Your business will compete against the others here which offer the same services. You will compete against other people even if you do not want to. This little boy right here is why you must succeed.

But you will not do it alone. I don't even know what I can do to help you, but I will try.

So you will finish at least your high school and I will help with what I am good at. I will always help you if you need it."

"Why?" Jodi-Lynn asked, "We only met today."

Su-jin looked down, "Do you really wish to know?"

Jodi-Lynn nodded and Su-jin sighed. When she spoke, her words came out slowly and with care.

"Because I am nothing anymore.

Because I am a leaf, lost on so big river." She looked down at her coffee cup and spoke with the effort showing on her face and her voice sounded raw.

Because I am more than seven thousand miles from where there was once someone who loved me very much, Jodi-Lynn.

But there is no one there like that for me anymore and I cannot go back.

We ... best friends since we were ten years old. While I was training, I see very little of her. I not know that she had problems that I should have known if I was a proper friend. I almost forget about her.

As I go on and went higher, I became ... popular. I had many friends, but none like Ji-soo. When my own troubles begin, I had no friends anymore. I went to visit Ji-soo before I left to say goodbye.

She told me then that she always loved me. All through the time we were growing up, she wanted to be lovers with me. It was what she had always ached for, what she dream of to happen for her. For us. I learned of this ... "

She looked down, "The day before I was to leave for America. If I had known before, I would not have done any fighting. I would have leave home to be with her.

Ji-soo begged me to stay - she said that we could go to other city and live there - any other city. I was already upset and after what she said, I was also confused."

Her voice cracked a little, "So I did wrong thing again and obey my father. I don't know why. I think that I was raised to be that way. I was old enough, I should have just left."

Jodi-Lynn watched as Su-jin lowered her head, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. Her voice sounded so small and anguished, "She begged me."

Jodi looked around and grabbed all the napkins that she could lay her hands on easily and she started feeding them to Su-jin. She really didn't know what to say that wouldn't make this worse.

Su-jin lifted her head ten minutes later and wiped her eyes again. "I was alone in Baltimore, working in a convenience store, using all of my small pay just to pay the rent on only my small room. I was being cheated and used. I had no computer and no way to use the internet.

I spent seven months thinking every day about what I should have done for the only true friend that I have ever had, but nothing could change it.

I went to an employment agency and there, I could use a computer.

I sent many emails to Ji-soo and got no replies." She drew a deep and tired-sounding breath.

"I now believe that her sorrow became too much for her. I saw her last entry on her Facebook page.

'Today my sadness ends'

It was made the week after I left and there are no entries since that day. I believe that she is dead and if I am correct, then the blame is mine.

I am alone here and I can do what I must to live. At least it is better than Baltimore. This is a nice place, but it does not feel like my home and it never can, until I find a reason to want to go on.

So, I want to help you because I need to have a friend to care about."

She groaned, "Because I need a friend - someone - to care about me.

You and I are leaves, Jodi-Lynn. Jane told me a little of your story. You have no family and you try to do what is impossible for your little son. I have no family and unless I am hungry or thirsty, I have no reason to want to take another breath.

I believe that we need each other. I want to believe that we can help each other.

I will be your bookkeeper for nothing because I have decided that you are the kind of person that I wish so strongly to have as a friend, because you need me to help and I need you to give me a reason to like being where I am now. Being the bookkeeper of an airplane company will not do that for me.

I probably have less than you for at least a while, but I know that you need these things. If someone gave you the money, you would never buy them. So I bought them.

I want you to succeed and I want to be the friend to you that I should have been to ji-soo.

In my culture, often the thickest walls are the ones that girls build around their hearts to hold their secrets. If I had been there for Ji-soo, she would have told me sooner, before the last day. I would have seen it before. She did not tell me because I was always busy, so she held it in her heart and hurt and hoped in silence."

She wiped her eyes with the heels of her hands. "It will not bring her back, but it is a chance for me to do what is right when I can for once BEFORE I do the wrong thing.."

She handed Tyler a piece of her donut and his eyes lit up.

"Besides," she smiled weakly, "You are the mother of my young boyfriend.

We live next door to each other and I like you so much. I NEED to have a friend here."

Jodi-Lynn put her hand on Su-jin's, "Then you've got one. I need that too AND I need a whole hell of a lot of other things, help being pretty much right on up there on the list."

-----------------

Bobbi Sorensson picked up on the first ring.

As soon as she recognised Su-jin's voice, she was apologizing. Su-jin tried for a while to get past it and finally she could make herself understood.

"It's alright Bobbi," she said, "There was no harm done. I was upset because I didn't know about the other person, but it doesn't change anything for me and I hope that it doesn't change anything for you either."

She listened for a while, and made faces at Tyler to pass the time. Jodi sat with a smile on her face watching.

"Yes, it all works and I'm very happy with the laptop. Thank you very much for that. I just would like to get a few things, but I still have time for that this afternoon. There shouldn't be any problems."

"Ok, I'll be waiting at your door at 6:30 then."

"Yes. I can't wait to get started. See you Monday. Bye."

She hung up and looked at Jodi-Lynn. "I need one more coffee, if you don't mind. Where can I get a pair of workboots around here? I don't mind at all, now that I know about it, but I need them for work.

-----------------

She had the work boots, just a pair made for comfort with the right protection in case she dropped her coffee mug, she guessed.

She also had a better pair of jeans and a cheap, but nice pair of Mexican-style cowboy boots. "I don't know why I wanted them," Su-jin grumbled.

"I do," Jodi-Lynn smiled, "Because you always thought they looked cool before you came here. Now you're here and they probably cost less here than in Seoul, the real ones, anyway. Because once you break them in, you'll always want to wear them."

She looked back for a moment as they walked.

"What are you looking at?" Sh-jin asked, almost turning around.

"And because," Jodi-L-ynn smiled, "I just like how they make your ass look even better. I actually didn't think it was possible."

They were walking back to the truck, each of them holding one of Tyler's hands and they were swinging him forward every other step, which he thought was the perfect way to go.

"He ought to be really cranky by this time," Jodi-Lynn said.

"He will be," Su-jin smiled, "As soon as he notices that his arms have gotten longer from stretching."

"You're looking a lot happier," Jodi-Lynn said.

"I am," Su-jin smiled, "Now I can start to like this place." She looked around, "It's pretty nice when you're not miserable."

They got into the truck and Su-jin sat in the front with Jodi-Lynn. It was almost six o'clock and most of the stores in the second strip mall they'd gone to were closed by that time. The place looked almost deserted.

"So I'm gonna cook up a couple for those steaks that I bought on sale on the grille out back for supper," Jodi-Lynn said, "That sound ok?"

Su-jin nodded, "I just can't understand eating that much meat. Each one is enough to feed a family where I come from."

"Never mind, Su-jin," Jodi-Lynn smiled, "You're back in training, you said. You're gonna need the protein."

She looked around and didn't see a soul. Jodi-Lynn half-turned in her seat to back out and then she looked at Su-jin for a brief moment. When Su-jin looked back at her, she threw the gearshift back into Park.

"What?" Su-jin asked, "Is something wrong?"

Jodi-Lynn shook her head, "No. I was just thinking about what you said about wanting to be a friend to me like you said you should have been to poor Ji-soo."

She looked for a second longer and then she grabbed Su-jin and planted a good one on her, full on the mouth. Su-jin looked dazed and Jodi-Lynn laughed a she put her sunglasses back on and threw the truck into reverse and backed out.

She didn't say anything until after they were a couple of blocks farther along.

"You feel better now?" She asked.

Su-jin nodded and then she gasped and stared off into the distance. "Look! They have mountains here!"

Jodi-Lynn laughed, "I'll take that as a yes then."

She reached over and took Su-jin's hand. Su-jin looked at her for a long moment and then she felt Su-jin's fingers close around her own.

---------------

"But you might spill and ruin this shirt," Su-jin said, looking at an old plaid flannel shirt.

Jodi-Lynn rolled her eyes, "This old thing was a shirt of my mother's. I used to have her wear it while I was dyeing her hair to cover the gray - that she used to tell me I put there on her head. I don't mind. I don't even know what's still holding it together to tell you the truth.

I use it for housework in the winter, mostly."

She held it out, "Now you take off your jeans and your bra Su-jin, and you put this on. I'll dye your hair and when I say it's time, you head to the shower to wash your hair.

And don't you dare give me an argument on this.

Your hair is crazy long, girl. In case you missed it before, I'm here to tell you that it's halfway PAST your sweet little ass.

Do you really want to try to get those things off before you get in the shower - with more than three and a half feet of freshly-dyed wet black hair swinging around? It's too long to cover with a towel - that I don't have enough of anyway. I don't have a towel that I can sacrifice to black hair dye.

We both have long hair. There's no such thing as too many towels if there are two of us. We might as well just paint the whole floor black tomorrow to cover what you'll probably fling around in there.

And another thing. I'm telling you now, hair this long is a menace to dye, so when you think you're about done, you tell me and I'll get in there with you to make sure it's all rinsed out, since you don't have eyes in the back of your skull."

Su-jin looked over, "But -"

Jodi-Lynn took a page from Su-jin's book and held up a finger. Su-jin stopped.

Jodi-Lynn looked at her finger for a moment, "Dang, this works pretty good on you too."

She looked at Su-jin, "Listen, we both need a shower anyway after this morning and the hot water tank in here isn't more than fifty gallons and I doubt that it's even that big. You want to get clean, don'tcha?"

Su-jin nodded with wide eyes, "I thought it was only Korean mothers who could argue like this."

Jodi-Lynn laughed, "No Baby, HELL no."

It took a lot of dye. It took a lot of effort, too. Su-jin felt funny and she knew that she was imagining the little drips of black hair dye running down.

She hoped.

But she was good, sitting still in the kitchen as Jodi-Lynn chattered.

She sighed and Jodi-Lynn said, "What? Am I talking you ears off? I'm sorry Su-jin, I'll try to pipe down some."

"No,"Su-jin smiled, "Please don't stop. The way that you speak is like music to me. I enjoy it, Jodi-Lynn. I hear that it is a little different from the way that people here speak. I like your way better. I sighed because I am happy."

"You do?" Jodi-Lynn chuckled, "I never thought I'd hear something like that. It probably sounds different since it's just a plain old East Texas drawl on the other side of West Texas and into New Mexico here. Why do you like it?"

"Your voice has a small musical tone," Su-jin said, "and the accent brings it out more to my ear somehow. It is charming to me and in one way, it soothes me and at other times ... I don't know. I think it's wonderful. I wish that I could talk like you."

She rolled her eyes, "But the way that my English can change when I am upset would make your accent sound crazy, I think."

"It might," Jodi Lynn allowed, "Most folks around here don't understand me when I get upset, either.

Ok, it's time. You scoot into the bathroom now."

Su-jin stood under the shower rinsing the excess dye away. She could feel it at the beginning, but as it want on a little, it was harder to tell. Jodi-Lynn had a pulsating shower nozzle and it felt so good as the water beat down on her.

Jodi-Lynn stood in the bathroom looking on through the vinyl curtain, "Su-jin?"

There was no response, so ... "SU-JIN?"

That seemed to break whatever spell had been at work and Su-jin answered.

"What happened there?" Jodi-Lynn asked, "You looked like you were a little stuck for minute."

"I was," Su-jin smiled back a little as she faced forward, "the shower felt so nice to me. My shoulders are stiff."

Jodi-Lynn pulled the curtain aside as she stepped in. "I'll take care of them in a minute. Let me just see how the dye took at the ends and all. I'm obviously not worried about the hair on your head, since that was the black part anyway. I just want to get a look out at the ends more, see if we got all the red."

Su-jin felt her hair being lifted a little.

"Should be alright," Jodi-Lynn said, "Looks good and solid black in here. The final test will be when it's dry, of course. How bad are your muscles?"

"They're not too bad," Su-jin said, "It is about what I would expect for a first try, coming back from so long with no training. But a little every day, and it will be gone. I am not doing this to fight this time. I like the way that it feels to be in shape, and I want to get these back."

She turned around with her hand on her abdominal muscles but they stopped and looked at each other for a moment.

Su-jin broke it first with her smiling sigh and right then, Jodi-Lynn learned the answer to the question that she'd been scared to death to ask and she was happy and relieved to see that Su-jin loved her body - since it was more than a little obvious.

"We should wash quickly," she said, "and both of us should wash our hair also."

The way that it went, Jodi-Lynn washed her hair more at the top and Su-jin took care of the long part. Their hands met in the middle sometimes but it seemed to work fairly well.