Oh Hell!

At that moment the DJ caught Luci's gaze and he froze on the spot. From his position in the crowd Mike saw the man's eyes widen and his lips moving rapidly in something that looked like a silent prayer. Luci just stood patiently, waiting for him to finish his examination.

Eventually the DJ seemed to catch himself, and removed his hand from her like somebody who had just touched a hot burner. Somewhat flustered he handed her the prize, and it looked to Mike as if he went out of his way to avoid direct contact with her hand.

"Thank you for participating Miss Luci, and please accept this diploma and a gift certificate to the Carlson Cineplex Movie Palace, valid for ten movie tickets of your own choosing. Give our winner a hand everybody!"

People clapped while Luci accepted her price, looking very proud.

On her way down from the stage she was followed by numerous pairs of hungry male eyes, and Mike realized that any notion of being discreet had gone out the window with her newly acquired fame. He doubted that it was feasible to even attempt to explain the concept of subtlety to Luci anyway, so he decided to simply roll with it and do damage control along the way.

"He gave me a prize Mike," Luci announced proudly and held the diploma and the gift certificate out to him.

"Congratulations Luci," Mike forced himself to say calmly. "You left me in serious pickle though."

"Pickle? What is that?"

"A bad situation," he corrected himself. "We were fucking, and you just took off in the middle of everything and left me and my cock standing alone in the open, in view of everybody."

"But I had to go and get my prize Mike. Patricia was there to assist you in my stead, was she not?"

"You knew about Pat..?" Mike started, but thought better of it. Of course Luci knew.

"Never mind. Mischief managed. Lets just forget it and move on. What do you wanna do now Luci? More dancing?"

"I would like to acquire a pink one Mike. Could we return to the table for a while? Or do you want to sex more?"

"I'm good," Mike said hastily and meat it. He'd had enough close calls for one evening.

So he walked back to the group while Luci headed for the bar and her personal bartender.

"Where is Terrell?" he asked upon noticing the empty seat.

"He didn't feel good," another of his friends said. "Looked kinda shaky and freaked out. He decided to call it a night."

Frowning Mike whipped out his phone and typed a message: "U ok bud?"

The reply came swiftly: "I know what she is"

Finding the reply very un-Terrell'esque, Mike typed: "So what? U racist?"

There was no reply.

Mystified by Terrell's strange and uncharacteristically behavior Mike tried calling instead, but his call went straight to voicemail. The phone had been switched off.

"What the hell is his problem?" Mike wondered. "He didn't look that drunk. Maybe he hit the weed when he got home?"

Whatever ailed him, Mike figured that a good night's sleep would help Terrell get his ducks back in a row. He decided to drop it for the time being and check on him the next day.

Luci returned with her pink cocktail and they spent the remaining hour until closing time socializing and engaging in small talk. Several guys and a few girls came by the table and asked Luci to dance. However she politely but firmly declined every single one of them. A few even brought her a drink. In those cases she accepted the cocktail, wolfed it down in one gulp and declined anyway.

After a while Mike started to feel bad about it.

"Y'know Luci, I hope you're not shooting down all those guys on my account. If you wanna dance with other people, I'm totally cool with it. Like a penguin in a freezer cool."

"Thank you for your consideration Mike. If you want me to, then I shall listen to the next person who addresses me and give thought to any suggestion put forward."

"It's not like I want you to," Mike defended himself. "But I don't want you to not do it on my behalf either and... never mind."

Mike decided to let it go. Luci may have been a demon, but apparently she was strictly a one-man demon. Though he wouldn't have admitted it, even under torture, her unwavering dedication made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. He found himself vaguely amused by the irony that a fiend from Hell came across as more faithful and trustworthy than any earthly girl he had known so far. Patricia included.

On a whim he bent over and kissed her.

"Thanks for being such a fucking awesome escort Luci."

The gesture earned him a big pointy-toothed smile.

****

Eventually the closing call came, and the staff began herding people towards the exits. Ragnar the Viking and his barbarian compatriots had to manually escort a few loud and drunk patrons out the door, but for the most part the exodus from the club went in a smooth and orderly fashion.

Outside the club Mike stood still for a moment letting the cool October air clear his lungs when he suddenly felt Luci tugging at his sleeve.

"Mike," she moaned in a slurring voice. "I feel... strange... the ground is moving..."

Mike looked at her and frowned.

"You're drunk Luci. The booze must have caught up with you after all. Maybe it's the cold that did it."

"The pr... pretty cocks are... doing this to me?"

"Yep, that's how they usually work if you drink too many. Apparently on you too."

Mike put his arm around her for support.

"Let's get to the car so you can sit down."

"Ohhh everything is moving now..." Lucy moaned and walked along on shaky feet.

The parking lot in front of the club had been full when they arrived, so his car was parked in the next one, about half a mile further down the street. They couldn't walk very fast due to Luci's condition, and by the time they were approaching their destination Mike was carrying her in a princess hold.

Letting her walk by herself had proved futile since her motor control was completely out the window and she kept stumbling over her own feet. Where she had shown amazing resistance to alcohol earlier, Luci now seemed to be affected to an extraordinary degree by it.

"Demons sure are weird creatures," Mike sighed under his breath.

"I.... mmm.... no dzemon..." Luci slurred against his shoulder without opening her eyes.

"Well," Mike replied out loud. "You're definitely weird, so I'm at least fifty percent right."

"Meanie!" she pouted in a very non Luci-like way and hit him with a weak punch.

Mike was engaged in wondering where the hell she had picked up that way of talking, when he finally spotted his car. He also noted that somebody was sitting on the hood smoking a cigarette. Mike couldn't believe the audacity of the guy. If there was as much a single scratch, the shithead was SO gonna pay for the repair.

"Get your fucking ass off my car!" he yelled and picked up the pace.

As he got a little closer, the shithead in question turned out to be Desmond.

"Hi Mike," he saluted and jumped down from the car.

Desmond dropped the cigarette to the ground and stomped it out before continuing his greeting.

"Good to see you. I've been waiting for you two."

Mike stopped ten feet from the car and nodded at him reluctantly.

"Next time wait on a bench or something. My car is no fucking sofa. Hows the hand by the way?"

Desmond lifted his right hand that was in some kind of cast reaching half way up his forearm.

"As you can see I'm all done masturbating for a while, and thanks to your meddling ass I'm unfortunately without somebody to do it for me."

"Fuck off Desmond," Mike growled irritated. "I didn't do shit to you. But I fucking should have. Pat is a nice girl y'know. She doesn't deserve to be played by some asshole who just want to get his rocks off."

Mike saw Desmond close his left hand to a fist and felt a measure of satisfaction. He was clearly getting to him. Good!

"Yes of course Mike. I know that it wasn't you alone. That red skinned hell-slut you are dragging around is as guilty as you are. But rest assured that I'm on to you. I took your woman because I'm the better man, and you just couldn't hack it. Ain't that right Mike? Jealousy's a bitch."

"Are you sure you didn't hurt your head too Desmond? In case it slipped your mind, I was standing several fucking feet away when you guys had your little lovers quarrel. I didn't say shit to Pat before you were dragged out of the club like a sack of garbage. In fact, we hadn't talked at all since she broke up with me last week."

"Oh is that so?" Desmond sneered. "Then how the hell did a dumb slut whom I've never even laid an eye on before come up with all that bullshit about me? You fucking wrote her a script, is how! Just admit it sissyboy. This was all your plan, and it worked. You got me good."

Mike was getting irritated, and the drooling Luci was starting to feel heavy in his arms.

"Even if I told you everything, you wouldn't understand. So I'm not gonna dignify your ass with a reply. You're in no condition to fight, so why don't you get the hell out of my way. You've said your piece, and I've heard you Desmond. Now start walking."

Desmond grinned in an unsettling way like the cat that got the cream.

"Right you are, I've said my piece. But y'know Mike, I haven't really paid you back for the pain yet. Not by a long shot."

Mike heard soft steps from behind and looked around to see four men approaching.

He had been so focused on Desmond that he hadn't noticed their presence, and now it was too late. There was little doubt in his mind that he was facing a goon squad, and their intentions were probably not good.

He tried to appeal to Desmond's common sense.

"So you think you'll have an easier time finding somebody to wank your weenie in prison? Which is where you can bet that you're going when I press charges on your ass for assault."

"Just for your information, I'm not here Mike," Desmond said with a smirk. "Right now I'm hanging out at a private after-party with ten people, who'll all swear that I came straight from the hospital and never left. So have fun with your charges... when you get well enough to speak to anybody, that is."

One of the men - a fat bearded guy - grabbed Mike in a chokehold from behind, while another forced Luci out of his grasp and carried her over to Desmond. Mike felt himself being pressed down in a kneeling position by a strong arm. He was fuming with rage, but there was nothing he could do. These guys were brawlers and used to beat up people. Mike was a nerd and no fighter.

"How do you like that position," Desmond asked in a teasing tone of voice. "I plan to have Pat sitting like that later when we visit her at home. I'm gonna pop that cherry tonight, with or without her permission."

Mike just scowled and did his best to ignore the bait. Biting wouldn't help, and the more he antagonized his attackers, the more severely he would get beaten. Best to bide his time.

"What do we do about the slut Des?" one of the guys asked. "She doesn't wake up when you shake her. Should we slap her around a little?"

"No! Don't do that! She is one concrete bitch you definitely don't wanna hit with your bare hands. Let me try something else instead."

Desmond knelt down and pulled Luci up in a sitting position with his uninjured hand. He held her close and screamed right next to her ear.

"WAKE UP BITCH!"

The technique seemed to work at first, and Luci stirred slightly. She even opened a black eye for a moment and looked sleepily at Desmond without any sign of recognition. Then she leaned into his chest and vomited violently against him before falling back asleep.

"Fuck!" Desmond roared and jumped up. "Bitch puked all over me! It's inside my shirt and everything. Arrgh! Fucking hell!"

He stomped around, cursing and shaking his shirt for a while. Then he turned to glare at the sleeping Luci with eyes oozing of malice.

"The bitch doesn't need to be awake in order to be taught a lesson, "he declared. "She'll wake up sore tomorrow and know without a doubt that she had a real man inside her... or four. You can go first Curt."

Mike realized that they planned on gang-raping the unconscious Luci, and completely lost his cool despite his earlier resolution to remain calm.

"Animals! Pond scum! Toilet bugs! I'll slap you so hard your kids will be born unconscious! I'm gonna kill all of you, I fucking swear!"

He heard the guy holding him snicker, and the rest of the crew turned to face him.

"Uh oh, the mighty mouse is barking," Desmond announced with a laugh. "Make sure our guest of honor watches the entire show Brad. Don't let him look away, ok? This is a very important educational event for him."

"Sure thing Des," the guy holding Mike acknowledged.

Mike was furious and the feeling of helplessness was driving him crazy.

"Fucking low lives. I'll kick your asses into orbit. I'm gonna rip out your spines and beat you to death with them! I'll..."

Mike's tirade was cut short by a shrill scream followed by a hollow thud. Luci had moved with her signature inhuman speed and was now standing with a bloody length of bone in each hand and two piles of bleeding human remains at her feet.

"Is it necessary to beat them as well Mike?" she asked confused. "They are already dead..."

"Noo! Cuuurt!" one of the remaining men howled and charged Luci with raised fists.

With a swift motion, almost too fast for the eye to follow, Luci swung one of the spines and hit the charging goon full force on the side of the head. Mike imagined that he heard a sound like the snapping of a twig, and the assailant dropped like a stone, never to move again.

Luci smiled victoriously.

"That one was indeed beaten to death. That was good, wasn't it Mike?"

The pressure holding Mike down disappeared when the goon behind him staggered to his feet. Desmond was already running for the exit, so the last remaining bad guy - the one whom Desmond had referred to as Brad - was suddenly all alone. Eyes shining with pure terror he slowly backed away, while never removing his gaze from the smiling demon girl standing next to a gory pile of his former comrades.

When he was about thirty feet from the car, he quickly turned around and ran like bat out of hell in the same direction as Desmond.

"Monster!" he howled in a shrill tone, balancing on the edge of insanity. "Help! A murdering monster!"

Mike staggered over to Luci while doing his best to not look too closely at the carnage around her.

"You can drop those... spines now," he said carefully. "There is a drinking faucet over there. Let's go rinse you off and get out of here Luci."

"Sure Mike. Do you not want to beat them first though? Here, take this..."

She held out one of the bloody spines to him, and he couldn't help but recoil.

"No thanks Luci. I'm good. In fact, I'm gooder than I've ever been before. Fucking Mother Theresa good. So lets just get the hell out of here as fast as possible."

****

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Mike cursed rhetorically as the bloody parking lot rapidly disappeared in the rear view mirror. "Luckily this is a shitty area with no surveillance cameras. But Desmond and that asshole saw everything, and with three dead bodies the cops are gonna go through the area with a fine toothed comb..."

"Why would anybody use a comb for such a strange purpose?" Luci asked curiously.

"LUCI! Shut the fuck up, for the love of God!" Mike snapped, clearly close to his breaking point.

Luci seemed taken aback by him suddenly lashing out at her. She turned away with a sad expression and commenced to stare out the window at the night-time cityscape rushing by.

"God does not love anybody anymore Mike," she said in a low melancholic voice.

Mike didn't know what to respond to that, and they drove in silence for a while. Occasionally he stole a glance at Luci who appeared lost in her own thoughts, and he started to feel pangs of regret for yelling at her. This wasn't her world. She couldn't be expected to know everything about it. She may come across as a ditz and act like a fish in the desert, but who wouldn't in her situation?

"Luci... I... well... I'm sorry for yelling at you," Mike mumbled apologetically.

Luci turned her head and looked at him with her black orbs. She seemed neither angry nor sad.

"I do not quite understand the reason, but I am well aware of your distress Mike. You are welcome to raise your voice at me, if it helps you feel better."

"No, I am really sorry Luci. I should not have yelled at you. I was acting like a dick. But... seriously - did you have to kill those bastards? We could just have incapacitated them and called the police y'know."

"The police?" Luci asked with a frown. "You mean that we could have called upon the guards of the city to execute them in our stead?"

"Well, arrested them at least. Today we don't execute people for anything less than murder."

Luci's voice turned serious and her black eyes seemed to grow more intense.

"Know that their souls were dark Mike. They were fully intent on sexing me against my will, judging us to be defenseless and incapable of preventing such an act. Does that not warrant punishment in your world?"

"Most definitely," he replied carefully. "But private citizens can't just deal out deadly punishment like trick or treat candy. That's what the law is for."

"Your law will not suffice in this case Mike. My station demands that I not allow such an insult to go unpunished, and that is an obligation that goes before everything. Even our bargain. So their lives were forfeit regardless."

"But you couldn't possibly know whether they would actually have gone through with it..."

Mike stopped himself, suddenly aware of the glaring logic flaw in his argument. Of course Luci knew. She knew exactly what they were thinking.

"You should also know that they would rape you as well Mike. The one named Curt Mueller had in his possession a bottle, which he was going to forcefully insert into your rectal orifice. He has done so to men on previous occasions, and he derived pleasure from that act."

"Yikes!" Mike exclaimed. "I understand that Dog was pissed after all the stuff with Pat, but seriously! Outch!"

"That was why you wished for me to beat them to death with their own spines, was it not?"

"Just a manner of speaking Luci," Mike protested, rolling his eyes in exasperation. "Nobody actually does stuff like that!"

"Really? So maybe we have just created a new tradition, eh? Should we name it?" she replied with a teasing wink.

Mike turned to stare at her in disbelief. Then he noticed her smug expression and realized that he'd just witnessed Luci's first attempt at deliberate humor. It was so outrageous and inappropriate that he couldn't help himself and burst out laughing. It felt great, almost like a mental catharsis after the horrors of the parking lot.

"You are definitely something else Luci. Gotta give you that."

"So I keep telling you," she replied with mock modesty. "It pleases me that you finally noticed."

"Anyway, how do you feel?" Mike inquired, changing the topic. "Are you still dizzy?"

"I am fine now Mike. My recollection after we left the ball is somewhat lacking, but I remember regurgitating at some point. Afterwards I started feeling better."

"Yeah, you sure barfed all over Desmond. That was fucking awesome actually," Mike noted with a grin.

"I did? That specific detail eluded me. And how did we get to that arena? I do not recall walking there."

"It was a parking lot and I carried you there," Mike replied.

"You carried me? That was... very nice of you."

For some reason Luci looked happy upon hearing that. But then her face turned more serious.

"Though I am mystified as to what happened to me Mike. Could the cocks have been poisoned?"

"Yeah," Mike confirmed. "They have that effect if you get a lot of them. And I'd say that trying out the entire menu qualifies as a lot."