On Me Ch. 01

"Listen, I've been doing a lot of thinking about you and me, about our relationship. Obviously, some... things have been revealed over the last few weeks. Those things, whether we intended to divulge them or not, are influencing our relationship, they're altering it. And I think both of us feel that."

Lucas may not have commented, but his silence was as good as a written acknowledgment.

"We may occasionally have needed some time apart, to step away and reassess, but I think it's mostly because we weren't truly ready for our relationship to change so fundamentally. And I think that I speak for both of us when I say it has. I feel like our relationship is slowly turning into something that is far more akin to friendship, and I, for one, am excited about it.

"I'm excited about the possibility of our relationship evolving into one that friends have, where you can talk about anything and everything and never fear of being judged. Because family judges, but friends accept. And I don't feel judgment from you with respect to the things I told you about me, and I'm sure as hell not judging you for... for being attracted to me."

"You're not?" he asked, not even attempting to deny it. After that incriminating night, it would be utterly futile, he knew.

"Absolutely not. I would be a hypocrite for doing so."

"Because you're cool with it? Or because I accepted you?"

"Well, both. But, more importantly, because I want us to be friends. I really enjoy our conversations and the fact that we have so much in common. And I'm really liking this new direction our relationship is heading. I feel that after those two years apart, it's like we've rediscovered one another."

Even though he still felt guilty, Lucas allowed himself to crack half a smile. "I feel the same way."

"I truly hope that we can be friends. Like real friends, who can confide in one another and do stuff together. Because we've never done that before, the friend thing. And I feel like we can get there, given enough time."

"I'd really like that, sis."

Skylar smiled warmly. "If you really mean that, then no more avoiding me, okay? Even if sometimes things get a little weird. We can handle it."

"You have my word."

"Awesome."

She reached for her water, feeling hopeful for the future.

Her brother seemed preoccupied though.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Skylar took a sip, but her face suggested he should go ahead.

"Don't you think your outfit was... a bit too sexual? You know, for a virgin who's supposedly looking for 'the one'?"

She set the bottle aside. "First of all, I never go looking at a party. I'm just there to dance and have fun. Second, just 'cause I'm a virgin doesn't mean I can't dress sexy. And I like to dress sexy."

"Yeah, but... a G-string? Like, you never show cleavage, but you're willing to run the risk of accidentally showing off your naughty panties? I mean, what's up with that?"

Skylar was taken aback. He was right of course about the whole cleavage thing, but it was still odd that he'd actually noticed.

"Getting a little personal here, aren't we?"

"That may have been the case in the past. You know, before we became BFF's."

Skylar gave a giggle. "Fair enough. If you must know, I only show cleavage when I want a guy to look. And I only want a guy to look when I'm interested. If I go and show my cleavage to random dudes that I'm not even remotely interested in, they might get the wrong idea. And there's absolutely nothing I hate more than when a guy gets the wrong idea."

"And flashing them your G-string wouldn't give them the wrong idea?"

"No. Because they can only look when I walk away."

There was a method to her madness, Lucas was forced to admit.

"So cleavage means...?"

"I'm interested."

"And G-string...?"

"That I'm probably a wild time in bed, but that doesn't mean you're invited."

They broke into laughter.

"Any more questions, friend?"

"No, I'm good," Lucas replied, amused.

"Okay then." She grabbed her controller. "It's time to destroy some lobbies."

And soon after, she did just that.

***

It was nearly three weeks later when Lucas knocked on his sister's door as she was getting ready to go out to a party. They had been steadily getting closer since they cleared the air. They'd been spending a lot of time together, and their bond had deepened. It wasn't uncommon for Skylar to accompany her brother on his daily walks, or for them to simply share the same space, even when partaking in different activities.

Lucas' attraction toward his sister had not been directly addressed since, but there was very little doubt that he enjoyed looking, almost as much as Skylar enjoyed being looked at. They hadn't crossed any lines, but the banter definitely turned more playful and the occasional look more frequent.

"Yeah," Skylar called, and Lucas entered the room.

She just finished adding the final touches to her makeup and rose to show herself off.

Her brother swept his eyes over her sexy outfit as tactfully as he could muster. Judging by the smirk on her face, though, he was confident that she caught him lingering on certain areas.

She didn't seem to mind however that they had reached a point where he was now openly ogling her. On the contrary, she almost seemed to welcome it.

"Wow, you look... you look incredible."

"Do I?" she asked sweetly and gave him a little twirl.

"Damn, girl..."

Skylar giggled, lapping up the attention, brotherly or otherwise. "My butt looks okay?"

She turned around and arched her back, giving him a prolonged look at her rounded little bum that was squeezed tightly into the smallest black leather pants you could imagine.

She really did have the perfect backside, Lucas thought while she posed for him. It was plump, it was tight... his little sister was made for doggy pounding.

The thought brought his penis to semi hardness. "Okay? It looks good enough to eat."

Skylar laughed again, turning back around to face him. "Good enough to eat, eh? What sort of dirty thoughts have you got there?"

"You don't want to know, Sky. Like... you really don't."

Skylar studied his face. "Well, I already know you wanna eat my ass if that hungry look is anything to go by."

"Guilty as charged."

She laughed softly, feeling like they might be taking it too far, yet at the same time, not far enough.

Lucas swallowed, facing the same conundrum as his sister's. "That leather looks painted on you. Man, that's a sexy look."

"As long my butt looks good in it, I'm happy."

He stared at her sensuously-sloping hips, again, struggling to soften his lascivious eyes. "You know, I've been wondering lately..."

"What?"

"... if your butt feels as good as it looks."

A roguish grin rose on her face. "Well, we can't have that, can we?"

She took his hand in hers and guided it to her right buttock.

Lucas was only playing. He hadn't seriously expected Skylar to go as far as letting him feel her butt. His eyes snapped wide in surprise, his head reeling. His hand, though, didn't seem to care much for his inner conflict because it immediately tightened around that bun of steel. He could feel his sister pushing into his hand invitingly, and it confounded him greatly.

Skylar felt the lust pooling hotly in her belly when her brother kneaded her butt cheek. She looked up at him, and for a second there, she felt an intense urge to kiss him. Like, on the mouth, with her lips, and with her tongue... and it spooked the hell out of her.

She swept his hand away and took a few steps back.

Lucas was as embarrassed as he had ever been, knowing he had just squeezed his baby sister's ass like a goddamn pervert. "Skylar, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I was completely out of line."

"No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have... I don't why I, but... I shouldn't have."

"So... are we okay?"

"Um, yeah. Yeah, of course we're okay! It was just... it was nothing, wasn't it?"

"Absolutely. And again, I'm really sorry. For what it's worth, it was like an instinct more than anything. I seriously didn't mean to."

She bobbed her head nervously. "Yeah."

"Okay, I'm... I'mma head out and let you get ready in peace. Have fun tonight."

She pinched her forehead, if only for an excuse to mask her eyes. "Okay, thanks."

*

Although they had played down the incident, deep down, they both knew it was not insignificant. They had been playful in the past, yes, but never to this extent. Over the next several days, they had retreated into their old ways, keeping their distance, doing some soul-searching.

Lucas didn't need to search for long. He'd been aware of his growing feelings for Skylar for some time now. He had deep romantic feelings for her that went beyond mere harmless attraction. He couldn't keep pretending that he'd just been playful, that he didn't really want to touch her, that he didn't want to put his lips on hers.

He'd been contemplating what to do about their situation. There was a big part of him that pleaded him to back away, to leave her be. But another part of him, seemingly even larger, wouldn't even let him entertain the idea. That part of him wanted him to feel her naked body against his, to taste her. To be inside of her.

***

It was several days later when Lucas knocked on his sister's door. They hadn't had any contact since the night they pushed things too far. He had made up his mind that he was going to tell her how he felt, not because he meant to have her, but because he was going to pull away. She was his little sister. She was off-limits. She would forever be off-limits. But if they were going to drift apart, at the very least she deserved an explanation.

"It's open," Skylar answered.

Lucas opened her door, apprehensive. "Hey."

"Oh, hi!"

"Are you busy?"

"No, no, come in."

He stepped in and closed the door behind him.

She didn't appear to be either tense or uncomfortable, Lucas thought. She seemed... normal, happy even.

"Long time no see," he said, attempting to break the ice.

She stopped the Twitch stream that she'd been watching. "Yeah, I guess I've been a little busy."

"Yeah," Lucas forced out.

He was pretty sure that she'd been avoiding him just as he had been avoiding her.

He took a seat on her orange bean bag chair. "So um... I kinda wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it's... sort of important."

"Okay. But before you do, I have some really big news that I just have to get out of the way first."

"Uhhh..." he stammered, feeling the pressure to go first. He sighed. "Sure, spit it out."

She sat on her bed Indian style, buzzing with excitement. "Soooo, you'll never guess what happened yesterday at work."

"Probably not. What happened?"

"Remember Mystery Guy?"

"Vaguely."

"Well... he made his move. Finally."

A brief pause followed her announcement. The silence was deafening.

"You don't say..." Lucas murmured weakly, trying his hardest to suppress the consternation in his voice.

"Yep. He did it. Walked up to me on his way out, and... asked me out."

"To which you answered...?" her brother said, clutching at straws.

"I answered yes, obviously. You know how long I've been waiting for him to ask me out."

"Yeah, yeah, I was just... making sure."

"I told you he wasn't gay!" Skylar laughed victoriously.

"So it appears. Yayyyyy..."

"Yep!"

"When's the big date?"

"Saturday night."

"Wow, that's... so very soon."

"Four days."

"Yeah, four days."

Watching his face closely, Skylar could tell her brother wasn't thrilled about the news, to put it mildly. And suddenly, she felt a sharp pang of guilt, as if she were doing him dirty somehow. As if she was hurting him now.

She gulped. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Talk about?" Lucas said, nonplussed.

"Yeah, you said you had something important to talk about."

"Oh, that! No, no, it's.. not that important."

"Well, what is it?"

"I just... wanted to let you know that uh... that I, um... got better at Apex. Like, my aim. I feel like I'm controlling the recoil a little better."

Skylar slanted a brow, skeptic. "That's what you wanted to talk about? That's what was so important?"

"Yeah. I mean, you know how much time I've been putting into the game. It's important to me."

His sister doubted it was very important to him, but she didn't press. The tension between them had never been more palpable.

"Well, good for you. I'm glad you're feeling better about your aim."

"Yeah, it's super important. Anyhow"—he got up—"I'm off to bed."

Observing his body language, and feeling as guilty as she was, Skylar couldn't help feeling that there was something seriously broken with the two of them.

"Sleep tight," she murmured, feeling subdued.

"You too."

***

The next day, Skylar dropped by at a friend's house after work. It was almost midnight, but it wasn't unusual for the two to shoot the shit for half the night. They were in similar places in life, post high school and putting off college, both white, rich, and a little spoiled. No wonder they had been good friends since junior high.

Skylar lay comfortably on Britney's bed while the latter was treating her to a pedicure. Skylar's date was naturally the hot topic of the night.

"You know what you're going to wear yet?" Britney asked while she painted Skylar's toenails in baby blue.

Skylar pulled on the joint and sighed. "Nah, haven't really been thinking that far ahead. To be honest, I haven't really thought about it pretty much all day."

"That's weird," Britney opined.

"It is weird, isn't it?"

"It is. Now when I think about it, you have been frugal with the details. And here I thought you wouldn't shut up about it."

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I just... don't feel like talking about it."

"Huh," Britney remarked laconically.

"What's 'huh'?"

"Huh means weird."

"Oh," Skylar said. "Then yeah, huh."

Britney dipped the small brush in the nail polish. "Why don't you feel like talking about it?"

"Beats me."

"You're not excited?"

Skylar took a second drag, longer than the first. "That's the thing, I was stoked that he asked me out, but now... it's like..." She sighed. "I dunno. I just feel cold about it all of a sudden."

"Huh."

"Yeah. Huh indeed."

"So if he called and postponed your date? Or worse, what if he stood you up?"

"It would probably suck, but I don't think I'd be broken up about it."

"Huh."

"Will you stop with the 'huh' already? How about offering an insightful input for a change?"

Britney blew air on Skylar's toenails and capped the nail polish, pleased with her work. "Joey Donovan. Now here's a truckload of insight for you."

Skylar frowned. "What does Joey Mantis have to do with anything?"

Joey Donovan had been a fellow classmate of theirs. A lanky guy, Skylar had always thought he resembled a praying mantis.

"He has more do with your situation than you might think."

"Aright, enough with this nonsense. Either explain yourself or just keep quiet."

Britney took the joint from Skylar and puffed. "Remember how big of a crush I had on him?"

"Huge," Skylar confirmed.

"Exactly. And yet the motherfucker was pretty much open to date any girl except me."

Skylar rolled her eyes. "Oh, Jesus, where are you going with this?"

"What I'm trying to say is that I got over him."

Skylar made a puzzled face. "Still not following."

"I got over him and never thought about him ever again. But that's not the point I'm trying to make."

"Then what is your point?"

"Do you remember how I got over him? Because that is my point."

Skylar knitted her brows in concertation, but she came up empty. "I don't remember. How'd you get over him?"

"Paul," Britney said pointedly and pulled on the joint for the second time.

Paul was Britney's ex-boyfriend. They'd dated through the majority of their junior year.

"Right," Skylar mused, a faint stream of memories coming back to her. "I still don't get your point though."

"My point is that it wasn't until Paul that I forgot about Joey. You see, we ladies never really stop crushing. We simply swap one crush for another."

"Wow, that's deep," Skylar commented a few thoughtful seconds later.

"I know."

"It's also convoluted. And... doesn't really apply in my case."

"My dear Skylar, it's a universally-accepted hypothesis. It applies to any situation and any girl."

"Well, it doesn't apply to me because there's no other guy."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Uh, yeah," Skylar replied confidently. "Don't you think I would know if there was another guy in the picture?"

"I don't know. Only you can answer that."

"Exactly. And I'm telling you that there's no one."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't buy it."

"Then that's your problem."

"I'm not the one who's crushing on some guy she can't even remember, so fuck you."

"For the hundredth time," Skylar drawled, testy, "there isn't any..."

Suddenly, the image of her brother popped up in her head.

"You were saying?" Britney taunted.

Skylar was still mouthing the next letter, but no sound was coming out.

"...um..."

"I knew it!" Britney shouted. "Universally-accepted, bitch! Don't you fucking argue with me ever again."

"Now hold on! Don't break out the champagne just yet. It can't be him."

"Uh-huh!" Britney voiced accusingly. "So you do admit that there's a him."

"No! I... I mean, yeah, technically, but—"

"But what?"

"He's... he's... it can't be him, okay?"

"Oh my god, it's totally him," Britney laughed in celebration.

"No, it's..." a flustered Skylar tried to push back.

"I'm all ears, sugar," Britney scoffed.

When she realized she couldn't counter, Skylar snatched the joint from Britney and dummied up. If she couldn't explain to herself why she was thinking about Lucas now, how was she going to explain it to Britney?

"I don't know who this guy is or what's the deal there, but I'm gonna ask you a few 'yes or no' questions, and maybe that will help clarify things. Okay?"

"No, I'm not doing this."

"Too bad, because we're doing this anyway."

Skylar took a puff, growing testier by the second. "Whatever."

"Question number one: This guy—who doesn't exist but sort of does—are you attracted to him?"

The hot brunette stared at her perfect nails, finding them incredibly interesting all of a sudden.

"Skylar...?"

"What?" she seethed.

"Are you attracted to him?"

Skylar heaved a sigh, despising the answer. "Yes."

"How bad? On a 1 to 10 scale?"

"I dunno if I can give you an exact number, but it's... pretty fucking up there."

"Okay, so very attracted?"

She expelled another sigh, looking defeated. "Yeah.

"Have you had any meaningful interactions with him?"

"Yeah."

"And you're thinking about him now?"

"Yeah."

"Has it happened before? When you found yourself thinking about him for no apparent reason?"

Skylar shook her head, but it was evident that the gesture was the product of growing frustration.

"What does that mean?" Britney asked, alluding to the head shake.

"It means that... I guess I have."

Britney darted a level gaze at her. "You do see where this is going, right?"

When Skylar failed to provide a comment, Britney took over again.

"I really don't know what's the deal with this guy, but I think it's safe to say that there is something there. Something. Your reaction alone is a dead giveaway."

Skylar's head shook again, and just like before, there was no mistaking as to what was causing it to shake.

"Girl, what's the deal with this guy? I've never seen you like this, fighting yourself this hard."

"I'm not fighting myself!" Skylar cried, her eyes ablaze, her body shaking. "You just don't get it!"