Peggy Gordon

"He said there was nothing to be done," Connor replied honestly and winced when she whipped her head around to stare at him.

"Nothing to be done," she echoed hollowly. A look of pain crossed her face and Connor thought he saw tears glistening in her eyes.

"Nothing tonight," Connor elaborated, taking a step forward and touching her shoulder before he could stop himself. "But I will do something about it in the morning."

"What can you do?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I will find as many men to ride with me as I can," Connor told her. "And even if there are none, I will ride to the land of Clan Fingall and find your family."

Peggy blinked as she looked into his face, her eyes shining in the dim light of the barn. "You'd do that?" She murmured.

"Of course. It's not right that anyone is being held captive while everyone here celebrates," he said.

"I know. But why?"

"I'd do anything to see you happy, Peggy," Connor replied. "Don't you know that?"

"I...I didn't," she stammered. "You don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do." He stated firmly, bringing his other hand down to rest on her shoulder, holding her firmly.

"Connor, I..." Peggy whispered, blinking a few times and stirring a tear loose from her eye.

Slowly, Connor reached up and brushed it from her cheek. "Don't cry," he murmured.

She shook her head then leaned forward, straining on the tips of her toes until she could reach his face. Gently she closed her hands on his cheeks and drew him down to her. Then she kissed him, the slightest, softest brush of her lips against his and Connor's entire body ignited.

He closed his arms around her waist, picking her right up off the ground, while his lips moved across hers. She exhaled breathily against his mouth and Connor parted his lips, inhaling her scent. Deftly he slid his tongue against her bottom lip, savoring her shiver at the contact. As she opened her mouth under his, he tilted his head, sinking his tongue into her.

Slowly he took one step, then another, carrying her tightly in his arms until he felt the pressure of a supporting beam against the arms he had circled around Peggy. She started at the touch of the post behind her and tore her lips from his.

But Connor could not stop now. He brought one hand up and closed it on her chin, bringing her face back to his and thrusting his tongue inside her mouth once more. He slid his hand around to cup the back of her head, holding her to him and not letting her go.Every part of him was on fire. The feel of her soft and yielding body pressed against him and the taste of her in his mouth had turned him solid, in an instant.

He was unaware of how tightly he held her until he heard a tiny whimper from the back of her throat and realized her chest was heaving with the enormous need to breathe. He eased his lips off of hers and gently brushed the hair from her face, still holding her firmly between his body and the beam. Her eyes lifted to his as she sucked in great gasps of air and he pressed a palm to her cheek.

"You amaze me, Peggy," he whispered, dipping his head and running his tongue across her luscious full lips once again before kissing her soundly for several long moments.

"I've never...Connor, you..." She stammered as he released her mouth the next time. She breathed deeply, catching her breath and resting her head back against the post with her eyes closed. "I didn't know...is this what is between...men and women?"

Connor blinked, not truly registering her words. His body was alive with desire for this woman in his arms; this woman he never thought he'd lay a hand on in his entire life. Slowly, her question sank in along with the monumental wrong he had just done to her; had just about done to her.

Slowly he set her down on her feet, feeling his head flood with blood and knowing that his face was burning with a shameful blush. He was thankful that she couldn't see him fully in the dark interior of the barn.

I almost... he began to think and shook his head.

"Peggy, I can't apologize enough," he murmured, unable to meet her gaze.

"Apologize for what?" She asked and shifted against him, still caught between the post and his body.

The movement stirred him again and he had to take a very deliberate step back, dropping his arms from around her waist. She watched him, a baffled expression on her face which only served to make this that much more difficult for him.

"I...I almost...you and I..." he stuttered, feeling like a fool and despising the heat rushing anew to his face.

Peggy turned her face away from him for a moment but when Connor looked up at her, he saw a smile playing across her face. She turned her head back to face him and took a step towards him.

"Connor, I'm not sorry," she whispered, reaching a hand out and laying it on his arm.

Her tiny fingers were warm against his skin and he felt the overwhelming need to kiss her sweeping through him again. Instead, he inhaled and brought one hand up to rest it over hers.

"Aren't you?" He replied at length, staring down into her innocent and trusting face.

"Why should I be?" She asked with a one-shouldered shrug. "I was the one who kissed you."

He laughed suddenly, a loud bark that escaped him and made her jump in surprise. Then she laughed as well, a bright, warm sound that nearly had Connor carrying her off to an even darker corner. She must have sensed the change in him because the laugh ended and she lowered her eyes shyly, turning her face slightly away. Wanting to touch her again, only touch her, Connor drew a finger slowly along her jaw line, savoring the way she shivered at this barest of touches.

"Peggy," he whispered her name. "You are a maid."

Her eyes snapped back to his and he was momentarily stunned by the sudden fire he saw there.

"What of it?" She asked, her voice no longer as soft.

"I have no desire to take something from you that you are not ready to give," he told her, hoping she realized how much of a struggle this really was for him. He wanted to do right by her and that included not taking her maidenhead in a dusty barn with hundreds of people dancing and drinking twenty steps away.

"You think I would have kissed you if I didn't want you the same way, Connor?" She asked, withdrawing her hand and stepping just out of his reach. "I'm not a fool or some addled, simpering girl who doesn't realize that the pressure I felt against my stomach a minute ago was not your leg."

Connor's mouth fell open and he was completely and utterly at a loss for words. He'd never in his entire life heard such words leave a woman's mouth and he wasn't sure if it pleased him or disgusted him. A moment later, with the fire still burning low in his veins, he realized he was impressed. He loved her all the more for her fiery opinions and direct expression. He grinned and was even more pleased to see an answering grin on her face.

She walked back to his side and reached up to press her palm to his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her hand, taking his time and flicking his tongue against the sensitive skin of her palm. When she shivered again, he took hold of her arm with one hand and slipped his other arm around her waist, pulling her back against his body in one swift move.

"Are you going to try not to kiss me again?" She asked breathlessly.

He chuckled and shook his head. "I cannot try not to, Peggy," he told her. "Now that I know how you feel here in my arms and how you taste on my lips, I fear I cannot stop."

She smiled at him and before he could move, she threw her arms around his shoulders and pressed her cheek to his. He felt the warmth of her cheek against his and hugged her back, loving the feel of her slight body curving under his larger one.

"What is going on here?!" A loud, angry voice boomed in the warm silence of the barn, startling the lovers and causing Connor to swing Peggy behind him in a protective move.

He saw Cillian standing near the barn door, teetering drunkenly and glaring at him and Peggy.

"Cillian," Connor breathed out in relief. He hadn't known what he'd thought when he'd heard the angry voice but he certainly hadn't expected Peggy's father to arrive.

"Get your hands off my daughter!" Cillian bellowed.

"Father, calm down," Peggy spoke up from Connor's side. Her tone was one of exasperation.

"Don't tell me to calm down when I find my daughter alone in a dark stable with a man!" Cillian replied, coming forward a few uneasy steps. "Acting like some common whore!"

"Now just a minute, sir," Connor broke in, drawing himself up to his full height and stepping towards the older man. "There was nothing going on." He glanced down at Peggy only to find a horrified expression on her face, her mouth opening and closing but no words forthcoming.

"I think I know what I saw," Cillian was saying, drawing Connor's attention back to him.

"You obviously don't, Cillian," Connor replied sharply. "Peggy was doing nothing but thanking me for my concern over your family."

Cillian stopped, blinking in surprise. "My family?"

"Yes, your family, half of which is still in the hands of the enemy."

No one said anything after that. Cillian looked from Connor to Peggy and back again without speaking. Finally he drew in a deep breath and shook his head slowly from side to side.

"I'm so tired," he said softly.

"Let's go inside, Father," Peggy spoke up and walked away from Connor's side, glancing apologetically up at him as she passed by. "It's been a long night."

"It has," Cillian murmured as he went with is daughter out of the stable and towards the big house.

Connor watched them go, all the joy over his encounter with Peggy gone with Cillian's abrupt arrival. He looked down and around himself at the darkness of the stable and sighed. Scrubbing a hand down his face, he turned and walked outside, bypassing the revelers and heading inside to get some rest of his own.

***

Peggy couldn't sleep that night.

After taking care of her drunk father and gathering up her errant sisters, she spent the rest of the night in the crowded bedroom, staring at the roof.

She hadn't gone into the barn after him intending to kiss him. And she certainly hadn't expected the kiss to cause such a reaction. Even the embarrassing interruption from her father hadn't diminished all that she'd felt when Connor's arms had closed around her.

Now, hours later, she lay wide awake in her shared room, surrounded by snoring women, shivering each time she recalled what had happened. She blushed repeatedly when she thought of her blood rushing through her body or the answering hardness she'd felt in his. And through it all, she just couldn't get to sleep. Tossing and turning, she eventually slept for a few scant hours before the noise of the big house stirring woke her shortly after dawn.

Yawning, she removed herself from between her sisters and carefully dressed without disturbing anyone else in the room. Then she crept quietly through the big house and out to the yard. Last night the yard had been alive with revelers. Now there were only a few people moving about, cleaning and a few more people were lying or sitting up in corners, still fast asleep.

Peggy smiled as she surveyed the area as she gently patted her hair, pressed into wild waves from her sleepless night. Her eyes went to the barns and she spotted a familiar form exit one with a horse in tow. Several other men followed along behind him. They all spoke quietly to each other before mounting their horses and riding towards the main gate.

Almost unaware that she was doing it, Peggy ran across the yard, calling Connor's name. They all stopped and turned to look, including the men at the gate and Peggy's cheeks flamed as she came to a halt several paces away. Connor said something to the men riding with him before dismounting and walking over to Peggy. Behind him, the rest of his companions rode out through the now open gate. Connor stopped in front of her, a curious and guarded expression on his face.

"Where are you going?" She asked when he said nothing to her.

His eyebrows went up in surprise. "To the stronghold of Lachlan," he replied slowly, referring to the head of Clan Fingall.

Peggy felt her face flame anew. Of course, she thought. Of course he's going there. He said he'd leave today.

"Right," she muttered and pressed on, wanting to say something to him. "I want to apologize again for last night, Connor."

He smiled slightly though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "What? For the kiss, lass? Or something else?" He asked tightly.

She blinked, taken aback by his tone. "I...for all of it, if it bothered you." His change in tone and demeanor made no sense to her, not after the kiss they'd shared and the words he'd spoken, so sweetly.

"Bothered me?" He repeated with a sharp laugh. "Oh, aye, it bothered me but do not trouble yourself over it, Peggy. You owe me nothing, least of all an apology."

Frowning now, Peggy crossed her arms over her chest, pulling her wrap more tightly about herself. She didn't understand why he seemed so angry with her. "I'm sorry for upsetting you, Connor," she said aloud, not wanting him to leave the stronghold in this state.

"It's not your fault, Peggy," he replied, rubbing his head. "It was foolish of me to kiss you last night. I was foolish." That last he added almost under his breath.

She almost laughed; she might have if the situation wasn't so mortifying. "Then we were both foolish, Connor."

His eyes lifted to hers and the intensity of his scrutiny flooded her cheeks with color. Again.

"It was wrong of me to take advantage of you like that," he said soberly. "I mistook your...gratitude for...for something more."

"My gratitude?" She echoed. "Is that what you think-"

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. "As I said, lass, you owe me nothing. I do this for the honor of both our clans, not for the affection of a woman."

Peggy had nothing to say to that. She stared at him in silence.

"If there's nothing else, then I really should go," he said then.

She nodded her head jerkily and watched quietly as he led his horse away. A few minutes later the gates creaked shut and she could hear the sound of retreating hoof beats. She stood gazing at the closed gates, shivering even though the summer sun was rapidly heating the morning.

"But you already have my affection," she murmured to herself, responding at last to his remark.

***

As Connor rode away from the stronghold with the few other men he'd recruited for this task, he felt like he'd just made a grave mistake.

After waking in the cold light of the morning, the previous night's events seemed horrific to him. First the knowledge of Bowen's betrayal of his own people and the confrontation between Peggy and her father. And finally Connor relived his own shame. He'd practically assaulted poor Peggy and it was shameful, in spite of her words to the contrary. It was truly unthinkable and he could barely look her in the face when she'd met him in the courtyard that morning.

He barely listened to the words they each spoke, thinking instead of how he'd taken unfair advantage of her. She'd merely wanted to show her appreciation for his offer to save her family and he'd...well, he'd been moments away from tumbling her into the straw.

At last he made his escape from her presence but not before seeing the hurt and confusion in her eyes. He thought for a moment that maybe he had been wrong but shook himself free of the notion.

No, he told himself. I will get her family back because it's the right thing to do.

Not because her body had felt so right in his arms or because she'd kissed him so enthusiastically in her gratitude. That's all it was, after all; gratitude. She was thankful for his efforts and he, in a fit of passion, had mistaken it for something more. Only when his blood had cooled had he realized the truth. He still saw the need to rescue the remaining hostages but he was angry; with himself and to some extent with Peggy. And then he felt guilty for being even the slightest bit angry with her.

It would be so easy to accept when she seemed to be offering; the gods knew his blood flowed hot whenever she was near. But he wanted her to like him, maybe even love him, for himself, not because she felt obligated to him.

"Connor?" One of his companions spoke his name, stirring him from his silent contemplation.

Connor looked over to see Seamus smiling blearily at him. Seamus, bless his stout heart, had been the first to agree to accompany him, in spite of his condition following the previous night's activities.

"It'll all work out in the end, Connor," his friend said to him.

"I hope so," Connor replied quietly, almost grateful for the distraction. "Though we really don't know what we're riding into here."

Seamus stared blankly at him for a moment before bursting into laughter. Reaching over, he slapped Connor firmly on the shoulder with one meaty palm. "Aye, that's true, friend," he replied around his chuckles. "I was speaking of the lass though."

"Oh," Connor said simply, blushing lightly.

Seamus' laughter died down and the other men kindly overlooked the exchange, riding a few paces ahead to give the two friends some small measure of privacy.

"Was she very upset with you for leaving?" Seamus asked quietly.

Connor shook his head mutely, unsure if he really wanted to speak of her yet.

"Then she just wanted to see you off proper?" Seamus tried again a minute later.

"Not exactly," Connor said.

They fell silent again for a few minutes until Seamus exhaled noisily, drawing Connor's glance.

"You're going to have to help me out here, man," he told Connor in an annoyed, though light-hearted, tone.

Smiling, Connor met his eyes and sighed. "All right," he said, giving in. "She came to apologize to me."

"For what?"

"Well...I kissed her last night."

Again, Seamus' boisterous laugh filled the air and Connor's horse skittered sideways, startled by the sudden noise. Even the other men up ahead glanced back to see what all the fuss was.

"She wanted to apologize for your kiss?!" Seamus asked around peels of laughter. "It must have been some sad kiss!"

Connor's smile turned wry and he patiently waited out the laughing. At last Seamus quieted, drawing in deep breaths and wiping at his eyes.

"I'm please to amuse you, friend," Connor remarked dryly.

"Aye, you do amuse. And with very little effort," Seamus replied with a chuckle. Then he glanced over at Connor's straight face and attempted to sober himself. "She can't have been apologizing for kissing you."

Connor shrugged half-heartedly. "It doesn't matter now," he said. "It's not likely to happen again anyway."

"Why? What did you say to her?" Seamus asked, frowning now.

"I told her she didn't owe me anything for what we're doing," Connor told him. "And that I'm not doing this to win her affection."

"Ah, Connor," Seamus said ruefully with head shake. "You are a fool."

"Why?"

"I've watched the two of you for weeks now and she likes you. She's liked you for much longer than you've had this fool rescue plan in your head," Seamus said. "And everyone, including the hounds, knows you're in love with her."

Connor felt his ears begin to burn, the blood flowing rapidly to his face from there. "Wh...what do you mean?" He stammered.

Seamus fixed him with a stern look, more than Connor would have thought him capable of so early in the morning. "I may still be a wee bit drunk but I'm not blind, Connor."

But Connor could only shake his head feebly. "She despises me!" He managed to get out. "Until last night we hadn't even spent more than a few minutes in each other's company!" He made no effort to deny his own feelings since, as much as it pained him, he knew his love for the young woman was apparent to more than himself.