Peggy Gordon

Seamus shrugged. "She may not speak to you but she spent a good portion of every day watching you or asking others about you."

Connor stared at Seamus, dumbfounded. His heart leapt within his chest at the thought. But he shook his head a moment later, deciding that it couldn't possibly be true. Seamus was still addled from drinking.

They rode on, mainly in silence except for the occasional jibe or question about the enemy clan and Connor remained largely embroiled in his own thoughts. After they stopped for the night, Connor wandered off on his own a little ways for a quiet walk. He didn't go far and certainly not out of sight of the others; no one traveled alone, even with the victory of Clan Connelly the other day.

He was so confused and that was most definitely not the way he wanted to enter the lands of Clan Fingall. He must get his head straight if only to keep himself and his few companions from getting killed. With a sigh, he shoved all thoughts of bright eyes and mahogany hair from his head and turned back towards their makeshift campsite.

I wish I was in some lonesome valley
Where womankind could not be found...

***

"Are you ready?" Connor asked below his breath to the man beside him.

Seamus winked at him, a feral grin spreading across his face. Connor responded in kind. Then, a quick hand signal and they were rushing towards the outbuilding on the outskirts of the stronghold. They swept in silently, removing two guards from consciousness and moving to the barred door of the outbuilding. Connor went in first, leaving his men to guard outside.

The interior was dark and Connor's eyes took a moment to adjust. He heard heavy breathing and the rustle of clothing and as he swung around in a slow circle, his eyes settled on huddled figures crowded near a back corner. Immediately his sword went up and he held his free hand up, palm out, to show that he meant no harm.

"I'm here to help," he whispered. "I'm from Clan Laoghaire."

A momentarily silence. And then an achingly familiar voice spoke.

"What business does Clan Laoghaire have here?" A woman spoke up and Connor froze, his eyes straining to see the face that belonged to the voice.

It couldn't possibly be! He thought frantically. There's no way she could be here!

"I...I..." he stuttered, his sword arm beginning to tremble.

A face materialized out of the dark interior and he blinked.

Peggy!

She stepped closer, into the faint light from the doorway and Connor's breath left him in a rush.

Not Peggy. There were lines in her face, her hair was faded and there was a thickness around her middle that told him who she must be though; Peggy's mother.

"You cannot speak?" She asked with the same voice as Peggy.

He smiled. "I can speak, my lady," he replied smoothly, feeling his control return to him. "My name is Connor and I've come at the behest of Clan Connelly to remove you all from this place."

A few murmured words and exclamations of relief sounded behind the woman before him and he grinned broadly. Another shape came forward and he looked down to see a young girl clasp the older woman around the waist. She stared up at Connor with large dark eyes and he guessed that this was Peggy's sister.

"Mama?" She whispered. "We can go home now?"

The woman patted her daughter's shoulder while studying Connor's face carefully. Finally she smiled, a tight, grim smile, and nodded once. "I suppose we can."

"Connor!" Someone from outside hissed urgently through the doorway.

"There isn't much time," Connor said. He deftly slid his sword into the scabbard strapped to his back and gestured towards the woman and girl before him. "How many are you?"

"There are only eight of us," Peggy's mother replied softly. "And my name is Deirdre."

"I am more pleased than you can possibly know to meet you, Deirdre," Connor said sincerely.

"I'm Shonna," the girl at her side piped up with a smile.

"Pleased to meet you, Shonna," Connor added with a kind look. "Now we have to hurry. Everyone, please come quickly!" He urged Peggy's family outside and waited until the others huddled in the back corner made their way out as well.

Once outside, Connor drew his sword forward again, scanning the surrounding land with narrowed eyes. Seamus was at his side and they stood in silence, watching the hostages disappear across the field towards the forest. Then they closed up the outbuilding where the hostages had been held to make it look as though nothing had changed and they darted off after the others.

Later, Connor sat down near the fire and smiled at the excited sounds of the recently freed hostages. His eyes swept over them all and he met the amused gaze of Seamus who was currently at the mercy of an elderly gentleman who was regaling him with tales of their capture and the days that had followed. He watched them for a moment before hearing the sound of someone sitting down next to him.

"How is it that a man of Clan Laoghaire came to the rescue of Connelly hostages?" The voice of Deirdre interrupted his silent regard.

He turned to look at her and had to fight to keep the amazement from his face. They were so alike; aside from the signs of age, Peggy was the spitting image of her mother. Evidently, he didn't keep his surprise completely hidden.

"Do we know each other?" She asked a second later, the barest smile touching her lips.

"No," he replied.

"Then why did it seem as though you recognized me before?"

Connor glanced over at her and was thankful for the dim light around the campfire that kept his blush from being visible. "I know your family," he replied vaguely.

"My family? How do you know them? Do you mean my daughters?" She asked, the questions coming quickly now.

"Aye, I've met Imogen and Kendall," he told her with a nod. He paused, staring into the fire and flicked a small rock away with one finger. "And Peggy."

"Are they all right?" She asked.

"Yes, they're all fine. And your husband as well. They are all at the Connelly stronghold, waiting for you to return."

For a moment Deirdre said nothing. She sat silent beside Connor for a moment without speaking and suddenly lifted her hands to her face, drawing in a long, shuddering breath.

"I am so relieved," she said after she'd collected herself again. "I spent most of my time in captivity worrying about them."

"And they worried for you as well," Connor assured her though in his heart he knew only Peggy truly concerned herself with their well-being.

Deirdre laughed softly and shook her head. "You are a terrible liar, Connor," she said.

"Why do you say that?" He asked.

"I know my daughters and I know my husband," she answered. "Imogen and Kendall probably spent the time chasing boys and my husband would have barely lifted his face from the brandy long enough to wonder where I'd gone. Peggy would have been the only one to worry."

Connor found himself smiling and nodding in agreement. He didn't have the heart or inclination to argue with the older woman. Deirdre regarded him quietly, a knowing smile on her lips.

"I can't imagine you got to know my Peggy very well," she remarked after a few minutes of companionable silence.

Glancing over at her, Connor shook his head slowly. "Not very well, no. She is rather..." he allowed his sentence to drift off, unsure of what words would accurately describe her.

"Prickly," Deirdre supplied and laughed at Connor's expression. "Don't look so upset, Connor. She's a wonderful girl; from the moment she was placed in my arms, she has brought such light into my life. But she is not the easiest woman to know."

Connor nodded slowly. "I think she is amazing," he said quietly, surprising even himself with the admission. It had been a hard several days, being without her in sight and wondering the entire time if she was thinking of him at all. As with the battle between the clans, he was almost relieved when the time for real action came.

"Oh Connor," Deirdre murmured from beside him and second later he felt the gentle weight of her hand on his arm. "Don't give up. If Peggy allowed you even the slightest glimpse of who she really is, and she must have for you to think of her so, you can't give up."

Connor looked over and smiled, patting her hand over his arm. "It isn't in me to give up, my lady," he told her. "But this has been given up for me."

She said nothing more, only sat with him in silence. Eventually the time came when everyone was huddling together for warmth as they relaxed into sleep. Deirdre moved away to gather her youngest daughter, Shonna, and left Connor alone with his thoughts.

***

Having never experienced it firsthand, Peggy couldn't say for certain that it was torture but it felt that way to her, the days following Connor's departure. She didn't know if they would even find the hostages, let alone get them out alive and unharmed and without hurting themselves in the process. It all added up to several sleepless nights and even less human contact since she snapped at everyone and anyone who approached her.

Her sisters Imogen and Kendall gave up immediately after their first encounter with Peggy's bad temper and Cillian didn't even try. By the end of a week, the only person who could tolerate Peggy's sour mood was Aiden, Bowen's youngest son at only two years of age.

One morning Peggy rose before the other women in her room and wandered out to the yard for some quiet and fresh air. The nights were still very warm and as she strolled the length of the courtyard, she counted the days until Samhain. As she was lost in her calculations, which turned to thoughts of their eventual journey back to their farm, a row of figures appeared on the horizon beyond the main gates.

A shout rising from the guardhouse above the gates roused Peggy's attention and she looked over with a frown to see several men running out the gates. Curious, she wandered closer to see for herself what was going on; it hadn't been a warning shout after all.

"They're back!"

Oh gods, Peggy thought, feeling her strength drain from her. She paused by the gate post and leaned against it, breathing hard. And into her rapidly blurring vision strolled her long lost mother and youngest sister.

They all spotted each other at the same moment and Peggy gave a ragged cry before bolting from the stronghold walls towards her family, her shawl tumbling to the dust behind her. Across the field, Deirdre and Shonna broke loose from the group of hostages and heroes and ran towards her as well. They met in a clash of fierce embraces and teary kisses and laughter.

"Reagan, my dearest Reagan," Deirdre cried, clutching her eldest daughter to her chest, calling her by her full name in her joy.

"Mama!" Peggy cried in response and laughed raucously when Shonna practically leapt into her arms.

The three of them stood together, crying and laughing and not letting go. Finally one of the other hostages gave a shout and ran off for the stronghold to meet with their own family. Peggy looked over to see several clan members spilling out of the stronghold. Eventually they all made their way back into the fort and Bowen greeted them all heartily, welcoming them back to their homes and families.

"Mama! Mama!" Kendall's voice rang out amongst the crowd of people and Peggy turned to see her sisters running towards them.

Deirdre turned as well and happily greeted her other two daughters with as many hugs and kisses as they would allow her. Shonna was welcomed home as well and for a few minutes, the daughters all danced happily around in a scattered circle, falling in a joyous heap together. It was then that their father approached with an anxious look on his face.

"Deirdre," Cillian spoke his wife's name softly and the woman looked up at him, her eyes still bright with tears.

Peggy watched the exchange between her parents with her breath held. She released it in a rush when Deirdre stepped forward into her husband's embrace.

"Don't trouble yourself, Cillian," Deirdre murmured to him, words Peggy was certain she wasn't meant to have heard.

Her attention was drawn back to her sisters where they were all still settled in a pile on the ground together. Flushing, Peggy stood up and bent to help first Imogen and then the others to their feet. Then she turned, her heart stopping for a split second when she spotted a tall form on the edge of the crowd.

Connor.

As though she'd shouted the name out loud at the top of her lungs, the tall man turned slowly until he was facing Peggy and her family. He held Peggy's gaze for a long moment, during which Peggy wasn't sure she breathed at all, and then he dropped his head and led his horse towards the stables with the other men.

"Peggy," her mother's gentle voice spoke near her shoulder and she turned, tears filling her eyes to face Deirdre. "Why don't you go speak to him?"

Peggy gasped and then laughed between sobs as they escaped her. She turned and threw her arms around her mother, hugging her tightly. "Not right now," she murmured for her mother's ears alone. "Not right now."

Her mother nodded, understanding as she always did.

***

That night there was a feast, even more grand and raucous than the week before. Families were made whole again and even though it didn't make up for the lives that were lost in the conflict that year, it was genuinely a cause for celebration. Bowen stood up before the entire gathered crowd and spoke proudly of the courage of the few men who'd infiltrated the very stronghold of the enemy to restore the hostages to their loved ones.

Connor stayed out of sight for that, holding a cup filled with rich liquor and wishing with all his heart that he could just get drunk and forget all about Peggy. As he downed the remainder of the brandy in his cup, he turned from the cheering crowd and escaped to the cool dark of the nearly empty yard. The few people occupying the space were either watching the front gates or strolling from one building to another.

He walked away, heading for nowhere in particular and planning his departure the next day. He'd decided almost immediately upon his return that he just couldn't stay any longer.

It had pleased him to no end to see Peggy's family reunited. He'd watched, his heart swelling within his chest as they'd embraced and cried and expressed their joy so fully. Then he'd had to look away, wishing he was able to sweep Peggy into his own arms for a reunion he desired.

Sighing heavily, he wandered over to the main gates and stopped, spotting something on the ground nearby. As he bent over, he saw that it was a woman's wrap and he stood fingering it for a moment, wondering who it belonged to.

"That's mine," Peggy said from behind him, startling him into dropping it again.

Spinning around, Connor faced her and tried not to show how he struggled with her closeness. She was smirking at him and holding her arms tightly about herself. Connor could see the bumps rising on her arms from the chill of the night air. Stooping, he picked up the shawl and held it out towards her.

"Will you put it around me?" She asked, not moving any closer.

Connor swallowed as he looked at her, taking in her sparkling dark eyes and the genuine smile on her face. He stepped forward once, twice and stopped before her, reaching up to lay the shawl delicately across her shoulders, careful to not actually touch her skin.

She raised her eyebrows at him and, still smiling, she took hold of the edges of the shawl to draw it snugly against her shoulders. "You are a strange man, Connor," she told him, turning on her heel and striding casually away from him.

Connor watched her go for a moment before frowning and following, his curiosity getting the better of him. Strange man? He thought to himself. Where is that coming from?

"Why do you say that, lass?" He asked, as he reached her side easily in a few strides.

"You offer your life and skills to defend a people that are not your own," she replied slowly, not looking at him. "And then you repeat the offer days later. You speak of honor and duty and what is right and yet you cannot bring yourself to celebrate when it has all paid off."

Connor didn't know what to say to that. He walked silently beside her, matching his steps to hers.

"I suppose I understand," she went on when he said nothing. "I couldn't join the festivities tonight either."

"Why not?" He asked. "You have more cause than most to celebrate."

"Do I?" She replied with a sigh.

The longing in her voice tugged at Connor's heart and he had to fight to keep his hands to himself.

"I find myself unable to celebrate without everyone I love around me," she said softly as a shadow descended over them.

Glancing around, Connor realized they'd walked toward the stables and were now in the slender doorway of one of the smaller barns. He didn't think anything of it until he looked over at Peggy and saw the smile on her pretty face. She didn't say a word, merely kept on walking until she was inside the barn, completely encased in the shadows within. Connor followed, unable to stop himself.

"You have your family back," Connor said thickly as he walked beside Peggy, his eyes adjusting slowly to the dim light. It was a full moon outside and the silver light split the darkness at intervals, sliding between the boards of the roof and walls. "Is there someone else you've lost?"

"I hope not," she replied softly, finally stopping. "He's alive and well."

Connor's heart seized inside his ribcage and he had to force himself to breathe slowly and carefully. Of course there's someone in her life, he thought bitterly. All this time and I can't believe it never occurred to me that she was in love with someone else.

"Don't you want to know?" Peggy was saying, interrupting his painful thoughts.

"Know what?" He asked shortly.

"Who is missing from tonight's celebration?"

His mind quickly sorted through the eligible men he'd come across in the past several months but couldn't place anyone with her. He'd only ever seen her speaking with her father or the other women of the clan.

"If you wish to tell me, lass," he said finally.

She tilted her head back to look up at him and after struggling with himself to not look, Connor relented and looked down. She was smiling and it was breathtaking.

"I wish to tell you, Connor," she whispered. "You left too quickly for me to tell you before now."

He blinked, his mind not comprehending. "I left?"

"Yes, you said all those things to me before riding off to rescue the hostages and didn't even give me a chance to tell you what I thought."

"About what?" He was thoroughly confused now.

She laughed, a beautiful, melodious sound and Connor fought to keep from embracing her then.

"About the placement of my gratitude," she told him. "And affection."

Oh.

The realization swept over Connor and he flushed, feeling his face and neck grow warm in the darkness.

"I can't apologize enough for my behavior, Peggy," he told her.

"So don't," she replied.

"What?"

"Don't apologize. I don't want you to. I don't accept."

Connor frowned and shook his head. Now she was making no sense at all. "Peggy, tell me plainly, what do you want with me? Why are we speaking here now?"

"Because I wanted to tell you my side of things, Connor," she said softly. "I am grateful for what you've done, returning my mother and sister to me. I truly am. But that wasn't why I kissed you that night."

The memory of it rushed through Connor and he shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"I haven't been the easiest person to know," she continued, still looking up at him. "I know that. And it was partially because I was worried about my family. Mostly though, I was...uncomfortable with how you made me feel."