Petra the Small Ch. 02

Jerry spoke again. "We aren't going to force you to get naked with us, but in this family being nude in front of family isn't a big deal. It's part of the belief that if you are God and I am God, our bodies are godly. We have nothing to hide."

"What about sex?" Jay asked.

"Sex is fun and beneficial - emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Sex also helps make babies. We want everyone to look at their beliefs about sex and society's made-up rules about sex and discover for yourself what serves you... and then be authentic about it. Do what serves you. Do what works."

Tom spoke up. "The other thing we need to talk about that's almost as important as sex is food. It's 2:00pm and I'm hungry. Alex, lead me to the fixins and I'll start preparations for our mid-day feast."

Alex stood, along with Petra, Roseanne and Andrea. "I'll help," they each said.

Jerry looked around at who was left and said, "Let's get the table ready. He was right. I'm hungry."

Ten minutes later, they were sitting out at the round table eating sandwiches, salad and other wonderful things from the kitchen.

Over lunch, the conversation continued. Jay asked, "Petra, you've been in the family for a month. How are you dealing with all the changes?"

"They tell me I'm doing well. Sometimes I think that's true. Other times I think I'm a little crazy. Two months ago I was a lonely woman living and working in Lincoln, Nebraska. Now I have brothers and sisters all over the place, I'm engaged to be married in about four months and, to be honest, I've never felt so loved and accepted in my life."

"How are you with the nudity?" Andrea asked.

"Until a month ago, I don't think any adult had ever seen me naked except my doctor. Then I saw that my attitudes about being naked were all made up, by me and by people who don't know me. I discovered that Tom loves me. He loved me before he saw me naked and it isn't my body that he loves."

Tom interjected, "Well, it isn't just your body that I love."

"OK, he loves all of me. That has been the toughest part so far; accepting that someone like Tom could or would love me. All the stuff about God being Life and Love is easy once I can get my mind around that I am divine... that I am God."

Jay spoke again, "That statement alone goes against everything I was ever taught in church. God sits on His throne in Heaven and passes judgment on us."

"Jerry had me read in the Bible and other places and it does say that we are all divine. I'm starting to think that the whole concept of us needing to please God is part of a control effort to keep people in line. If we are God, why do we need someone outside us telling us how to live, how to love?"

Andrea looked at Jerry and asked, "Do you love Jenny?"

Jerry nodded and said, "Yes."

"Do you love Petra?"

"Yes."

There was a pause and then she asked, "Whom do you love more?"

"There is no more. Love isn't quantifiable. Either I love someone or I don't. I love Jenny profoundly, fully. I love Petra profoundly, fully. The difference is in the expression of that love. Jenny and I spent many hours in the truck talking about our relationship. We talked about how we will express our love for each other in the coming months and years. Our agreement may not be like the agreement between Tom and Petra or between Alex and Roseanne. It will be our marriage. Not a marriage between us and New Mexico, or a marriage between us and some religion, but between Jenny and me."

Jenny spoke up. "That was the most intense, most intimate conversation of my life. Jerry and I have confronted lots of ideas and thoughts and beliefs that we had about being married and how that does or doesn't work to serve us and serve God."

"Wait up!" Jay said. "Serve God? If you are God, how do you serve God?"

"Change the words. If Jenny had said we looked at our thoughts and beliefs about being married and how that does or doesn't serve us and serve Life, would you be OK with that?"

"I get it," Andrea said, "If we do something that serves Life or Love, we serve God because all three are different names for the same thing."

"Yes!" Alex said. "You got it!"

"And how can you explain what happened to Megan?" Jay asked.

"There is more than one possible answer to that question. One of the things our society has asked us to do is to think in terms of right and wrong, good and bad, black and white. I'm asking myself if there is anything that is only good or only bad. Buddhists have a story they tell about a farmer in rural China. He was very poor and needed his son to help him work their small piece of land. One day the boy was walking beside their wagon when it hit a rock, turned over and broke the boy's leg. "That is bad," said the father. Two days later, the king's soldiers came to the area and took every able-bodied young man into the army. They left the injured son. "That is good." The father said. The story goes through various steps each time showing that the same event can be good and bad at the same time. The story shows there isn't "good" or "bad". There is sad, painful, joyful, happy and every other emotion, but there are no things that are completely good or completely bad."

"Again, you are saying that something wonderful may have happened because Megan died."

"Let me be clear about how I see events like Megan's death. I ask the question: is there anything that benefits Life, Love, or God in what happened? If the answer is "yes" then I am content that Life was served. If the answer is "No", then I keep looking because I believe that Life serves itself. Do I mourn for her? Yes, and in the mourning there is growth. Do you miss her? Yes. Can her loss help each of us grow? I think it already has. Was her life a waste? No. That's what I believe."

"I'm full." Jay said. "I don't just mean with food. I need to go for a walk and think. I want to be in this family and I don't know if I can give up almost everything I've believed all my life."

Andrea stood and took his hand, "Come walk with me. I know a cool place where we can go. May I be with you?" He nodded and off they walked in the same direction that Petra had taken her earlier.

When they were a couple hundred yards away, Petra spoke. "These conversations are so wonderful! I'm so glad you brought Jay and Andrea with you, Harvey."

All around the table comments were shared about the conversation that had been shared since Harvey, Andrea, and Jay had arrived.

A silence sat at the table with them and after a few minutes, Roseanne stood up and took off her clothes. She folded them neatly and put them on the bench where she had been sitting. Then she walked to the edge of the pool and dove in. In just about a minute, all the men were in the pool with her. Petra started picking up the plates and glasses from lunch. Jenny helped as they cleaned the table in silence. Afterwards Jenny took Petra in her arms and they hugged for a long time. When they both were ready to let the hug end, they kissed. It was soft and very gentle.

The two women went out on the front porch and sat together on one of the swings. They rocked back and forth slowly, each caught up in their own thoughts. Each thinking about Life, Love, and God and the men who loved them both.