Pushing My Boundaries

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My name is Tracy and I was brought up at a time when marriage was for life and once you were married, you were always faithful. These were principles I was happy to adhere to, partly because they seemed common sense and partly because they were an intrinsic part of my Christian upbringing. My father was the local vicar where I grew up in Chichester and I suspect that this affected my experience with boys as a teenager taking my first tentative steps into the sexual world. For the most part, the boys who were interested in me were either 'good boys' who treated me like a porcelain doll or they were boys who wanted the challenge of trying to get somewhere with the vicar's daughter. The boys looking for a challenge were a bit more exciting if I'm honest because I at least gained some experience but I'd never let them go too far, if only because I didn't want to embarrass my father in the community where he worked.

I only really gained some measure of freedom at university where I wasn't known in relation to my father so it was there that I was able to finally start exploring my attraction to men. After some exciting fooling around with a few boyfriends I finally lost my virginity but in fairness, it was to the young man I would marry so I reasoned that I'd still been a good girl. We married when I was 23 years old and moved to Leeds. A year later, I gave birth to our son. I enjoyed our sex life and was perfectly content to live the rest of my life with this man but sadly my husband didn't share my sense of fidelity.

It was Christmas Eve when I found the tell-tale conversation on his laptop with his mistress and at that point I was 42 years old. I couldn't understand why he'd do such a thing to me but when I asked him about it, his response only further crushed my fragile ego. According to him, I was boring, especially in bed and I needed to 'push my boundaries', whatever that was supposed to mean! Sex was only ever in the missionary position because I liked the intimacy of looking at my husband and I always avoided oral sex because that seemed disgusting and wrong but I still thought he was happy.

I know the Christian thing to do would be to forgive him but I couldn't and it wasn't long before we were divorced, leaving me a single woman with an 18 year old son who was off to university to follow his own dreams. David was a fine looking and intelligent young man with an easy sense of humour and I had no doubt at all that he would be popular with the girls, though I never really noticed many girls in his life. With his father out of the picture, David became my sole focus in life and I loved him with all my heart.

I wish I could say I started having loads of dates and a great new sex life but I didn't. Initially this was because I had no self-confidence left after my husband betrayed me with another woman and I suppose that was always in the background but it was also a lack a of opportunity as well as a lack of desire. Plenty people tried to set me up on dates but with the exception of the odd fumble at the end of the night, it never amounted to anything. Before I knew it, I was 50 years old and struggling to make ends meet. Getting David through university had cost me everything I had but nothing was too much for my beautiful boy and any sacrifice I had to make for him was well worth it in my opinion. The trouble was that I was now struggling financially so I eventually concluded that I had no choice but to take in a lodger.

I had a number of people apply to be my lodger but I was nervous about allowing a stranger into my home, especially a man. I was far from convinced I could live with any of them! I spent a whole day interviewing possibilities with no luck at all and there was only one left so I decided that if he wasn't suitable, I would have to abandon the whole idea. The doorbell rang five minutes before the allotted time and at least this was promising as I like punctuality. Answering the door, I was faced with a handsome young man who vaguely reminded me of my own son, David. He was certainly a similar age, was approximately the same height, similar good build and the same dirty blonde hair but his hair was longer and his complexion darker. They didn't look like twins but I was missing David so much that the similarities did tend to stand out for me.

'I'm Mark,' he said in a friendly voice, 'I called earlier about the room.'

Yes, of course,' I replied, trying to sound calmer than I felt, 'do come in.'

He thanked me and I led him into the living room where I had some tea and biscuits prepared. Sitting in an armchair, he looked perfectly at home and his warm smile was making my heart flutter a little. How lonely must I have felt if a man who was simply a similar age and build to my son had such a profound effect on me?

'So, what are you doing in Leeds?' I asked.

'Work,' he replied in a matter-of-fact tone. 'You have to go where the work takes you these days and Leeds is a growing city with opportunities for an ambitious young man like me. I'm working with a construction company as a structural engineer and they've sent me to Leeds to pick up some experience as part of my ongoing training.'

'And how long will you be staying here?' I enquired.

'Probably about six months I'd imagine but it might be a little either side of that,' he answered. 'I'm sorry I can't be more precise at this stage but it depends how things go.'

We must have talked for about twenty minutes before he eventually left with me telling him I'd call the next day with my decision. I went to bed that night feeling very confused. Mark was certainly the best candidate of the day and I felt completely comfortable with him so that was very encouraging. I also liked the fact that he reminded me so much of David as more than anything, I wanted David to be home again but that was also the cause of my hesitation. Should I really be having a young man in my house and was it entirely wise being motivated by the fact he reminded me of my son? I churned this problem over and over in my mind all night but eventually came to the conclusion that I simply couldn't miss out on the income and I couldn't miss out on the chance to at least feel like David was closer to me.

I rang Mark the next day to give him the good news and by the end of the week he'd moved in and made himself at home. I couldn't resist the opportunity of putting Mark in David's old room rather than the smaller spare bedroom but it required an awkward conversation with David first. I rang him the same evening I offered the room to Mark.

'Hi Mum! Did you find that lodger you were looking for?' he asked.

Yes, I have and that's why I'm phoning,' I replied. 'I wanted to put him in your old room but I didn't want to do that without asking you first.'

'Oh, so you have a man staying with you!' he said, surprised. 'What will people say?'

'I doubt they'll say anything as I doubt anyone cares but it's not like that at all. He's a lovely young man, about your age so there's no chance of anything happening between us.'

'Pity!' he commented. 'You deserve to have some fun.'

'Perhaps,' I sighed, 'but you're the only man I need in my life now son. Nobody would be interested in an old woman like me anyway.'

'I would,' he responded immediately. 'I think you're beautiful and you have a great body that any man would be lucky to get his hands on.'

I laughed at the thought. 'Thank you David, you always know the right thing to say to make me feel better.'

With David's approval, it was straightforward moving Mark into David's old room and the rent he was paying certainly warranted the larger room. It was nice to have David's room in use again and feel as though he was once again home where he belonged.

The weeks and months started to pass and Mark and I fell into a routine that worked for us both. We ate the same meals at the same time and spent a lot of our evenings sat together watching television or a movie. He went out on some evenings, as I guess a young man will and I always missed him when he wasn't there but more often than not he stayed with me.

'Why don't you go out more often Mark?' I asked him one evening.

'Well I'm not really a nightclub kind of person if I'm honest,' he replied, 'and as I'm only here for a limited amount of time, I don't really have any friends here.'

'You could make some friends,' I suggested.

'I suppose so, but I prefer just being here with you.'

I found his reply to be odd but very flattering as I certainly enjoyed having the company of a young man around the house. It was just like having David home again.

One night he came in slightly late from work and rushed upstairs to have a shower before our programme was due to start on television. It was getting close to starting and there was no sign of him so I hurried upstairs to tell him to be quick. In his rush to be ready in time he must have forgotten to lock the bathroom door because it stood slightly ajar. I peered through the gap, thinking he might have already headed back to his room and got the surprise of my life. He was stood on the bathmat drying his hair with the towel so he couldn't see me and he was completely naked. I was shocked and embarrassed but also completely transfixed by the sight before me.

Without clothes on, it was clear that Mark had a spectacular body. He was strong and muscular, just like David, with smooth skin, a slim waist and strong thighs but what attracted my attention most was his cock. He wasn't hard but it was still an impressive size and looked to have plenty girth. His pubic hair was trimmed very short and his balls were completely shaved so my view was totally unobscured. I felt a distinct tingle between my legs at this glorious vision of manhood and wondered if David was carrying such impressive equipment. It had been eight long years since I'd even seen a cock and my breath was coming in quite short bursts at the thought of the pleasures such a cock could give me.

Realising that Mark wouldn't be drying his hair forever, I had to drag myself away from the bathroom door and sneaked quietly downstairs. When he finally came into the living room to join me, he was just wearing some pyjama bottoms and a tight fitting t-shirt and flopped down next to me on the sofa. We watched television together that evening but I can't honestly say what was on as I spent most of my time glancing down at his crotch, where I could see the distinct outline of the tool I'd been drooling over through the bathroom door. It didn't help that the programme we were watching contained a few sex scenes and when they came on, I could see his cock start to grow. It never got to full erection but it definitely got bigger and that only increased my admiration of his body. Sitting so close to him and his fantastic body was starting to make me feel very wet for the first time in many years and through it all, images of his cock filled my mind.

Mark must have thought it very odd when the programme eventually ended as I immediately excused myself and went to bed. I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't give my pussy some urgent attention and the longer I was near Mark, the more acute my problem became. These days I didn't even masturbate very much but I needed to that night! As soon as I collapsed on the bed I pulled my nightie up and started to frantically rub my clitoris. Almost immediately an orgasm sent shivers of pure pleasure though my body and in the throes of my release, I closed my eyes and thought of Mark's lovely cock.

'Ohhh, Mark,' I moaned as softly as I could as I tried to imagine his cock nice and hard for me, 'you have an incredible body.'

Imagining his cock nice and hard, I pushed a finger into my soaked pussy and began to move it around vigorously, trying to find another orgasm. It didn't take long before I could feel my climax relentlessly building inside me.

'Give it to me!' I sighed as I thought of him entering me and I started to cum at the mere thought of such a thing happening. It had been so long since I enjoyed a man in my bed and I longed to feel a man between my legs and buried deep inside me.

I went to sleep that night filled with curiosity about sex with such a young man at my age. It was bad enough that I'd spied on Mark and then fantasised about his cock while I masturbated but surely it was inexcusable to actually contemplate such a possibility, even if he was interested, which I sincerely doubted. What could such a lovely young man ever see in a boring old woman like me?

Looking in my mirror the next morning I concluded that I had a lot to be thankful for. I was still a pretty decent looking woman and thanks to the extra time on my hands being a singleton, I also had quite an impressive body myself following years of regular attendance at the local gym. I was 5' 6" with long legs that were slender and smooth, a slim waist and firm 36E breasts. I reasoned I probably should do more to get out and meet men but somehow the thought of seeing a man my age did nothing for me now that I'd seen Mark's fantastic physique. The idea of Mark making love to me was sheer fantasy but it was a lovely fantasy and I knew that the previous night wouldn't be the only time I'd masturbate while thinking of Mark and his glorious cock.

The problem I faced was that all I had was my memory of that one fleeting look at Mark's body and it was something that was unlikely to be repeated. I started to make sure that I went by the bathroom every time he took a shower, more in hope than expectation and fortunately Mark turned out to be quite a relaxed young man so although the door was usually locked, there were a few times when he left the door partially open and this gave me the opportunity to surreptitiously look at him in the shower and while getting dried. Most of the time he would be soft but sometimes, the warm waters of the shower coaxed some blood into his member and I was able to at least get an insight into what he would look like when fully erect. I had absolutely no doubt that he would be big!

I longed for those nights when I could see him and then have him sitting close to me while watching television. I confess I watched very little television in that time as my eyes were invariably directed towards his cock and its outline under whatever he was wearing. I would have given anything just to touch it but there was no chance of that. Whenever I was able to see his gorgeous body, I retreated to my room as soon as possible to relieve myself and spend some time with my fantasy. As time wore on, my fantasy of Mark became a bit more graphic.

'Oh Mark, you have an incredible cock; I love it,' I'd moan, and as I plunged my fingers into my wet hole, I'd cry out, 'Fuck me Mark! Give me all of your big cock,' before cumming hard all over my fingers. As much as I longed for Mark's hot cock to fill my lonely existence, had things remained the same I would have happily continued simply sneaking furtive looks while he showered followed by masturbating in the privacy of my own room and thoughts. Fortunately, fate decided to change things.

One day when Mark came home from work he hit me with some devastating news. His time in Leeds was coming to an end and he would be leaving in just over a month's time. I'd grown so accustomed to having him in the house that I couldn't imagine my life without him and I spent that evening alone in my room, thinking about what I would do next. Getting a new lodger was the obvious answer to that question but Mark was more than simply a lodger; he was my friend and my fantasy and those two things could not be so easily replaced. The sad fact was that before long, Mark would be gone and I'd never hear from him again. I'd enjoyed the distraction and pleasure Mark's presence had given me and I felt that even fantasizing about a young man like him constituted me starting to 'push my boundaries' as my ex-husband might have said. He would certainly have been surprised to find that I was having vivid sexual fantasies about a man young enough to be my own son.

Thinking about 'pushing my boundaries' made me slowly start to realise that although Mark's leaving was tragic, it was also an opportunity. As far as I was aware, Mark hadn't been with any women in all the time he'd stayed with me and at his age, that must have been killing him. If that was the case, perhaps he might even be tempted by an older woman like me and even if he wasn't, what did I have to lose? If he was leaving soon anyway, any embarrassment I might feel from his potential rejection would be short-lived. Deciding I had nothing to lose, I started to formulate my plans.

I happened to notice that there was a documentary coming up later in the week that was looking at older women having relationships with much younger men for sex and it struck me that this would be a handy way of introducing the idea to Mark and seeing how he reacted.

'What's on tonight then?' he asked as he sat down on the sofa next to me as usual.

'Only a documentary I'm afraid about older women having sex with much younger men,' I replied. 'I don't imagine it's something you'll be all that interest in.'

'Why, are you?' he asked with a smirk.

'It's something to watch,' I shrugged, 'and it might give me a little bit of hope for my own sad life.'

He laughed at my apparent joke and said he'd give it a go and watch it with me. The programme was surprisingly graphic, though I suppose it was after the 9.00pm watershed. The women ranged from about my age to even as old as 70 and the men were certainly young. Some were possibly even younger than Mark. The women talked about the pleasure of having regular sex with a virile young man and feeling young again while the men liked the idea of having sex with an experienced woman, though I got the distinct impression that many of them were looking for something of a maternal figure in their lives. Both the men and women certainly seemed to enjoy the sex and I confess that as I sat next to Mark, I could feel my pussy starting to get wet at such a tantalising prospect. By the time the programme came to an end I was struggling not to squirm on the seat such was my sense of sexual frustration.

'Well, what did you think of that?' I asked as the end credits started to roll.

'It's not something I've really thought about before,' he admitted, 'but if both of them enjoy what they're doing and nobody gets hurt, why shouldn't they make the most of the chance?'

'I can see why the women are happy about it as what old woman wouldn't appreciate the energy and enthusiasm of a young man?' I said, hoping he wouldn't laugh at my response.

'So would you really be interested in having a sexual relationship with a man young enough to be your son?' he queried.

'I should be so lucky!' I laughed, apparently dismissing the idea as nothing more than a ludicrous notion. 'I can't imagine there are that many young men out there who would be even vaguely interested in an old woman; I mean, what's in it for them?'

'I don't know,' he said thoughtfully, 'I think it would appeal to more men than you think.'

'Really! Why?' I asked innocently.

Again, Mark thought carefully before responding: 'Like they said in the programme, the experience and confidence she'd bring to the relationship would be quite sexy but I think it would also be about attitude. Wouldn't an older woman appreciate what a young man could give her more than a young woman so she'd be a lot more enthusiastic and proactive? I think loads of young men would really love that in a partner.'