Secrets and Surrender

Her cheeks flushed and she took me deeper, nearly throat-depth. She bobbed her head faster as an excuse not to look directly at me for a moment.

"So amazing," I repeated softer.

"Like a slutty girl?" Kylie asked, pausing briefly to nuzzle my cock while she spoke.

"Is that what you want to be?"

"Kinda. For right now."

"Then yeah. Like a slutty, cute, great-at-blowjobs girl."

The eyes Kylie made at me while sliding her face down my cock once again just about made me melt.

"Your slutty little mouth feels so good," I continued. "Way too good. Like this is what it was meant for."

Kylie growled deep in her throat, then proceeded to try and stuff me just as deep as the sound had come from. She tried to go too fast, however, and choked herself on me a bit. Her follow up, somewhat slower attempt was more successful.

My eyes rolled back and a happy sigh slipped from my lips as I felt the comforting embrace of Kylie's throat around me. It was a feeling unlike any other. Unique even when compared to her other oral techniques. So tight, so snug and warm, and she was clearly proud of her ability to take me like that. To deepthroat me like a porn star.

Kylie pulled back slowly, letting suction stall her out before she released my cock entirely. She throated me again a few times, up and down, using a smooth bob of her head, then worked the head again while stroking the base.

"Goddamn, Kylie," I breathed.

"Still good?" she whispered before sliding all the way back down my cock, impaling herself balls deep on me.

"You have no idea."

"Hm mm?" she moaned around the length of my cock, holding it totally inside.

"So fucking good," I said. "How are you so good at this?"

Kylie wiggled her hips while beaming with pride, partly translating the movement to her head. She bobbed back and forth some more, getting more aggressive in her attack on my cock.

"You're gonna make me cum," I said.

Her tongue danced along the underside of my cock. Her eyes somehow seemed to get bigger and more intense.

"I'm gonna cum in you," I said. "Right down your throat."

Kylie nodded, or tried her best to anyway. Her tightly suctioning lips slid back and forth on my cock, milking it, waiting for the final payoff. She was so eager for it. Again, rivaling my own interest, which should have been the more obviously immediate between the two of us.

She went wild on me toward the end, knowing I was close, sensing victory. She gagged a few times from going so hard and fast, but didn't let that stop her. My cum was going to be hers, and no amount of choking and drooling was going to stop her now.

I tensed, grunted, then exploded in Kylie's mouth. My cum flooded her tongue while she jerked me and swallowed everything I gave her. In spite of the spit running between her lips and down her chin, she didn't spill any cum at all.

A final kiss and little lick of the tip of my cock, cleaning the last of my mess, then Kylie sat back on her heels. She was panting and disheveled, but also glowing and contented with herself.

"Goddamn you do that well," I said, fighting the urge to fall backward and just lie there.

"Practice," Kylie said. "Just imagine when I get experience with you, not just my toy."

I groaned. "I'll never last."

"Don't act like you wouldn't enjoy every second."

I grinned. "You're damn right I would."

She crawled up beside me. I lay back while she curled up next to me. We just watched each other for a moment.

"I like seeing you like that," Kylie said softly.

"Like what?"

"Helpless. Feeling good. Looking at me like you never want me to stop sucking you."

"Still feeling slutty?"

"Maybe. Kinda." Kylie squirmed. "Maybe like your good little slut."

"My good girl."

"Or bad girl."

"Both. Either."

She stretched out. "I know you don't like it, but it helps me feel right."

"It's not that I don't like it. I'm just not convinced it's the healthiest way to feel like you're expressing yourself."

"Probably isn't. Still like it though."

I nodded. "Me too. Mostly."

"I bet. If I got you thinking with your dick more, we'd be all set."

I snorted. "Yeah. That's the solution." I studied Kylie. She was lying on her back, not looking at me anymore, just lounging and basking in the aftermath of a job well done. More at ease than she often was, unfettered by usual concerns. And yet, I couldn't help wondering if she really was as relaxed as she appeared. "Hey, Kylie?"

"Yeah?"

"Like, that was great--"

"Thanks."

"--but do you still need... some attention?"

She tensed, relaxation fading away. "Don't ask that."

"Why not? I don't want this to be all one-sided and shit."

"It's not."

"It kind of is. I could, you know..."

"No. You know I still don't have the right parts."

"Yeah, I know."

"So you can't do stuff for me," she said matter-of-factly. "That would turn you gay."

"Kylie!"

"Sorry, sorry. Bad joke." She sighed heavily. "But for real. No."

"You're not horny at all?"

"Of course I am. But first of all, it's much trickier to deal with than you are."

"I--"

"Secondly, I'm not ready for you to see that part of me."

"Even if--"

"I know you know, Carter. But, like, that's different from letting you down there."

"Yeah. I guess."

"You're getting a good deal here. Don't complain."

"I know that's another joke, but for real, I'd like to make you feel good sometime. It's not really about what, uh, parts you have."

"Ideally, sure. But I'm not there yet. Maybe never will be. And can you even imagine if it turns out you aren't either, and then it's all you can think about?" Kylie shook her head. "No. Not happening."

I nodded acceptance and rolled toward her, wrapping my arms around her, helping the tension I'd caused to melt away again. "I guess it's not such a bad deal getting blowjobs in exchange for cuddles."

"You're making out alright, here," Kylie said. "Trust me." She snuggled closer against me, nuzzling her face to my shoulder. "And don't think I'm not either," she added near silently.

****

It was tricky finding times and places for being naughty. Sneaking around at my house was often our best bet, and even that depended pretty heavily on some luck to provide us a good opportunity.

Everything else was much easier. Hanging out, sitting close, walking together and holding hands, talking, cuddling, whatever. It was all good. We didn't have much for exciting dates, but we found plenty of time for ourselves when we wanted it. Just not the sexy stuff so much.

It wasn't the worst thing in the world to have to wait. It might have felt like it was at times, but having to be patient had its upsides. Mainly in adding to the excitement when we did have our secret chances. There was nothing quite like the thrill building up to being alone with Kylie, and knowing exactly what she was going to do to me once we made it.

I still felt bad that I couldn't reciprocate Kylie's oral pleasures. It was her choice, of course, but I felt a little greedy about it even so. Not that it was a chore for her. She was happy to do it, and probably initiated it more often than I did. Not to mention the devious enjoyment she got from getting me right where she wanted me, and doing basically whatever she wanted. There was no question who was in control once her mouth was wrapped around my cock. Even on those instances where she wanted me to face fuck her again, even when she was a sloppy, panting mess, it was all very much at her own whims.

We didn't often get quite so aggressive as that. Mostly that seemed to just be so Kylie could prove something to herself. Something not entirely logical, from my perspective. I'd noted something of a correlation between high emotions and wanting some rougher action. It was an odd form of calming exercise, but whatever worked, I supposed.

Perhaps the culmination of our stupid, sneaky, sexy times came when Kylie started sucking me off in the middle of movie night. Which was to say, we'd been cuddling on the couch in my living room, mostly being good since parental oversight was a bit of an issue. But neither of us really wanted to be good.

Kylie was bolder than I was. I assumed we'd have to get to my room undetected somehow. She recognized the opportunity of my mom taking a phone call for what it was. Dad, as per usual, was taking a more hands off approach anyway.

Kylie attacked my pants before I was even aware what she was thinking. I whirled my head around to make sure we were alone, torn between fending her off and really, really wanting her to keep going.

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

"What does it look like?" Kylie answered without looking away from her task. "I wanna suck you off."

"Not here."

"Why not?"

"We might get caught."

"So? We always might get caught. It's not like we have a place of our own to go to."

"I mean, more so than usual."

She shrugged. "Enh. It'll be fine."

Once she had my cock in her grasp, giving it little licks to get it all stiffened up, I found it hard to argue.

Kylie managed to lie down in an only slightly awkward position, head in my lap, gently licking and sucking on my erection while still keeping an eye on the movie. I was far too engrossed in watching her to pay much of any attention at all to the scenes on screen.

It was going to be one of those times where Kylie was in no hurry at all. I could sense it already. She had her mouth positioned so that she could lick and suck it from the side, but not actually dive on top of it, and didn't seem to want to change that yet. She was happy just using me as a toy, something to keep her mouth idly busy.

I stroked Kylie's hair, sometimes drifting my hand down to her tits to play with them for a while. I tried to relax and enjoy it, since it was genuinely a pretty good time, so long as I didn't get too horny and impatient. There was no way to help myself from feeling some general apprehension about Mom or Dad stumbling upon us in such a compromising position, though.

"Maybe we should have a place of our own," I mused.

Kylie hesitated. "Like what?"

"Like a place. You know. An apartment. Or something."

"We can't afford that."

"No, but we're gonna have to get jobs sooner or later anyway."

"Hm. Maybe." Kylie sucked thoughtfully on the side of my cock for a moment. "I kinda like the thought, I guess. But you know you're, like, low-key asking me to move in with you."

"I am essentially aware, sure. I'm not saying we're ready. But it's maybe something to think about. Eventually."

"Yeah. Eventually." More thoughtful sucking. "I know I'm not ready for it yet."

"No worries. Pretty sure I'm not either."

"Good."

"Good." I shrugged. "But we're stuck doing stupid shit like this until we have a better solution."

"Hey, they're your parents. It's more of a problem for you, really."

"Oh is it? Who was the one all embarrassed that one time Mom caught us making out?"

"... both of us?"

"You more than me, I believe. And you're only just getting to the point of not panicking about them being able to tell you just blew me afterward."

"Well... yeah." Kylie squirmed. "But how else am I s'posed to get your dick without being a little risky?"

"I don't know. That's the point." I tickled her ear. "And aside from that, how come we haven't done stuff at your house yet, hm? Why are we always risking my parents?"

"You saying you want to meet mine?"

"Well... kinda?"

"You can if you want. But it's not gonna solve anything. They wouldn't know what to do with me bringing home a boy."

"Oh, but, like..."

"I mean, maybe it'd be fine. Maybe they'd cheerfully send us up to my room for sexy times. Just doubt it somehow."

"Sure. I guess."

"It's complicated, you know?"

"Yeah. I get that."

We had to scramble a bit at approaching footsteps. We got a blanket over my lap and Kylie cuddled up with her head on my shoulder instead of strategically next to my cock. Dad walked in, rummaged around on his bookshelf for a moment, then left again without more than a casual glance our way. Which was good because Kylie had her hand wrapped around me under the blanket that so flimsily covered my partial nudity, and I didn't feel like I was maintaining a particularly good facade.

Kylie waited and checked over her shoulder a few times to make sure we were alone again before throwing the blanket off my lap and jerking me slowly, watching her hand's movement with an odd fascination.

"I really don't know what they'd think about me bringing you home," she said.

"So you said."

"I halfway think they'd still expect you to be a girl."

"Uh..."

"Not you specifically. But, like, whoever it was."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Because--"

"Because as hard as they try, I don't think they're quite over me being their little boy."

"Shit."

"Yep." Kylie sighed and put more energy into her handjob for a moment, distracting herself by sliding her grip and up and down on my rather bemused cock. "They do try," she said softly. "But they're the older generation. Some things don't come as easy to them."

"Sorry."

"Nah, it's fine. Coulda been a lot, lot worse." She shrugged. "But I'm not ready to try introducing you. I guess that's the point, really."

"Could just say I'm a friend."

"For the purposes of sneaking you to my room? I can't help feeling like that would create more problems than it solves."

"Maybe. I guess."

Kylie grinned and leaned in to kiss my cheek. "Worried you're not gonna get enough alone time with my mouth?" she murmured into my ear.

"I wouldn't say that."

"I think you would. You want more places we can sneak off together, don't you?"

"Kinda. But, like, it's just getting awkward always coming to my place. Mom and Dad gotta be figuring out there's a reason we aren't hanging out in more public places."

"Maybe. Maybe not. You never can tell with parents."

"No. That's true."

Kylie ruffled my hair. I slipped my hand up her shirt in response. She squealed, cutting herself off as soon as she realized how loud it was, and how likely to attract attention. It didn't stop me from getting a good feel of her tits before she lowered herself back to my lap.

She wasn't entirely wrong about me wanting more time with her soft lips wrapped around my cock, suckling gently but persistently at me. Or her throat snugly and somewhat messily enfolding me. Any form of oral attention, really. They were all fun.

I wanted to do more than that, too. But I was pretty severely limited by what Kylie was ok with. I was pretty sure she'd drop to her knees for me at the merest request, but letting me play with her was still a whole other thing. Anything lower than her tummy was risky.

Although...

It occurred to me that I hadn't really tried playing with Kylie's butt all that much. I'd grabbed it a bit, but had always been hesitant to push too hard. In a sense, there shouldn't be any reason she wouldn't want more attention there. But that was only theoretical.

I dragged my fingers past Kylie's shoulder and down her back. My nails skimmed across her shirt, up and down her spine, getting a feel for her reaction to my touch. There wasn't really much of anything yet.

My palm flattened out until I was giving her a slow back rub. Nothing too fast or hard to distract from her sucking me off, but straying ever nearer to her butt.

Eventually, I moved my hand to Kylie's ass in one smooth motion, cupping it through her jeans. She gave just the smallest little moan, but didn't let it interrupt the way she was sucking on my cock. That was a good sign. I'd gone this far before, gotten some sneaky feels in, so I hadn't been expecting much reaction yet either way.

It was more a question of whether she'd let me keep playing, squeezing, and exploring. I grabbed a handful of Kylie's bum, massaged it gently, then rubbed a different area. I ran my hand everywhere, even down between her thighs just as far as I dared, as far as I could safely expect to get before hitting the danger zone.

Kylie tensed when I ventured too close to her unwanted cock, but otherwise seemed quite happy to have me groping her ass. I learned where the borderline was, and as long as I stayed on the right side of it, I pretty much had all the leeway in the world. Rubbing, squeezing, groping, massaging, it was all good. I even got some excited growls from deep in Kylie's throat when I tried lightly spanking her butt. The harder the slaps got, the more she wiggled and made noises, and even got more aggressive with her cock sucking.

She looked up at me, taking a quick break from her blowjob. Her eyes were shining and full, and she was panting softly through lips streaked with saliva that she hadn't cleaned up.

"Careful," she said. "You make too much noise, we're gonna get caught."

"Hm, you're right. Maybe I shouldn't spank you."

"Well... I didn't say that."

"But you didn't want us to get caught, right?" I punctuated the question with another slap of her ass.

Kylie bit her lip, said nothing, then went back to work, taking half my cock inside her mouth in one calculated bob of her head. Clearly the risk was not so great that she was going to let it stop the fun.

We both just got hornier the longer we played our stupid, sexy game. I didn't want to stop playing with Kylie's butt, and I definitely didn't want her to stop sucking me. Even though I couldn't see inside her head, she pretty obviously was on the same page. Her ass was all wiggly under my rubbing and caressing, and she was making some very aroused noises deep in her throat.

Somehow, we both had enough resistance to last until almost the end of the movie, to which I'd paid almost zero attention. Kylie got her patiently earned mouthfuls of cum, and I got the sweet release she'd built me toward and which I so desperately needed by that point. I sighed and let myself flow into her, to be swallowed down sensually and maybe just a little sluttily.

We had some time to cuddle just as we were before the credits rolled, at which point we either had to move or put on another movie, else it'd be way too obvious that we had no interest at all in what we were ostensibly watching.

"You all horny?" I whispered.

"It's pretty fucking bad," Kylie answered.

"And you're not gonna let me--"

"Definitely not."

"Didn't think so."

Kylie sat up and kissed my cheek. "Maybe someday."

"Yeah. Maybe."

"I probably should, uh, hit the bathroom though."

"Ooh, hornier than usual."

"I told you it was bad. You and your groping me that whole time."

"That's what does it for you, huh?"

"One of the things, sure."

Kylie left, moving somewhat awkwardly. It was the same kind of weird motion I'd used more than once. I couldn't see the reason for it, but I knew precisely what it was.

I sighed and lay down while awaiting her return. It was weird to me to think that Kylie was probably--almost certainly--jerking off in my bathroom. I knew she had a cock still, but I couldn't properly picture it. It didn't seem to fit. Which was, I supposed, the whole point.

She didn't want me to be able to imagine it. Didn't want me to really, viscerally know. And maybe I didn't actually want to either. But it kind of hurt that she might never want to share all of herself with me. It was her decision to make, and might be the right one, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

****

It poured rain a few days later, practically all day. It made for one of those rare lunch periods where Kylie and I couldn't hang in our usual outdoor spot. That wasn't overly unusual by itself.

Somehow, though, without ever consciously intending to, Kylie and I spent most of lunch with Andrea, Rob, Jess, and a few others. They just kind of kept trickling over to the table Kylie and I had tried to pick off in a corner away from anyone's attention. It didn't work overly well.