Secrets and Surrender

"I'm not disappointed. Far from it."

"But it wasn't quite what you wanted, was it?"

"Well... no. I'm not sure I like the idea of you equating being a girl and being a sex toy."

"That's kinda my choice though, isn't it?" Kylie asked lightly.

"Kinda. I guess."

She kissed me on the cheek. "Don't worry so much about me. I'm just trying things. I've never had someone to try them with before." She looked at me seriously. "Carter, there's still lots about being a girl I don't know or don't understand."

"That's fair."

"So I might do things that don't seem right. But I need to do stuff like that."

"Like getting your face fucked?"

Her crooked smile matched mine. "Yeah. Like that." She wagged a finger, mock-chiding me. "Which you didn't fully commit to, by the way. We'll have to try it again sometime."

"I tried."

"You did. And it's kind of adorable that you didn't want to hurt me."

"Hey, now."

"I mean that in a good way."

"M'not adorable just 'cause I don't wanna choke you," I mumbled sulkily.

"You don't get to decide, unfortunately."

Kylie lay next to me, cuddled close but not fully pressed up against me. I felt her warmth, her softness, and wanted more. But now wasn't the time.

I took a moment to go over things in my head. The way she felt right now, the way her mouth had felt only minutes ago, how nice it was basking with her in the aftermath. I was conflicted about some things still, but she was right that it was kind of her call as to what she experimented with.

"I don't want you to feel like you need to be objectified to be a girl," I said aloud.

"Ah, but I do. At least a little."

"You don't."

"I do, actually. I have to find the right balance still."

"But--"

"Carter, for real, I felt some things when you let go and actually fucked my mouth. And especially when you came in it. Good things. Things I've been struggling to find. And probably once I sort myself out in a few years... or more... I won't need to seek mildly unhealthy solutions. But right now... a little objectification could help more than you know."

"You confuse the hell out of me sometimes."

Kylie snorted. "Welcome to everyone else's world."

"Oof."

"Right?"

We lay together a few minutes longer before I had to sit up and get moving again. "Should get pants on, I guess," I mumbled, absently scanning the room to locate my discarded bottoms as I spoke.

"I guess. Could leave 'em off, though."

"Yeah, you'd like that, huh?"

"Maaaybe."

"Well I gotta dress. Supper's gonna be soon."

Kylie jerked upright. "Shit!"

"What?"

"I forgot about that."

I shrugged. "No biggie."

"Yes biggie! I don't have any cum on my face, do I? Do I smell like blowjob? Shit. Fuck."

"You're fine. I--"

But Kylie was already on her feet. "Where's the bathroom?"

I nodded my head. "Down the hall. Second door."

"Fuck. Shit!"

I snorted and finished dressing. I opted to let Kylie sort herself out. It's not like I'd be much help anyway. And there was no point in me being in the bathroom with her on the off chance one of my parents caught us. Not that it'd necessarily be any worse than getting caught making out.

Kylie eventually returned much calmer and a little sheepish. She blushed and shrugged at my questioning look.

"All better?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's fine. Just... goddamn, Carter, I don't want your parents knowing that I sucked you off just now."

"Even better," I said with a teasing grin, "you made me face fuck you."

"Shut up."

"Well you did."

"The point is, I don't want them to know."

"You think I do?"

"Well... probably not, no."

"Damn straight. A very solid probably not."

Kylie shrugged again. "So I had to make sure they wouldn't know."

"You were quite panicked about it."

"Of course I was!"

"It was kinda funny. That's all."

She stuck out her tongue. "Maybe next time I'll drool your cum back all over your face. See how you like it."

"Ooh, next time, you say?"

Kylie quirked her head. "I... yeah. Next time. There's gonna be a next time, isn't there?"

"I certainly hope so." I stepped to Kylie, tilted her chin, and kissed her softly. She'd gone a little overboard with the mouthwash, but she'd probably be happy to know there was no detectable trace of cum left. "It's hard to say no to a girl who wants my cock in her mouth."

"Gee. So romantic."

"I do my best."

We got called down for dinner before we could get any snugglier and work ourselves up again. I introduced Kylie to Mom and Dad, despite her having technically met Mom already, perhaps a little more than either of them wanted. I wasn't sure whether Kylie or Mom blushed redder. It was a close contest.

Dad, at least, seemed happy for me. He didn't really say anything, but I sensed the relief and pride that I'd brought home a pretty girl. Maybe he'd even heard that we'd been intensely making out. I had no way of knowing. My mind dwelled harder on what he'd think if he knew everything about Kylie. I didn't want to go there just yet.

Conversation was a bit forced on everyone's part. Kylie didn't know my parents, and they didn't know her. They all tried. I probably didn't help as much as I could have. Too many other things on my mind.

Dad drove Kylie home shortly after supper. She was ready to leave, and I didn't feel the need to prolong her agony. I went with, sitting in the back seat with her for the ride. We didn't do anything more than sneakily hold hands for part of the trip.

I walked Kylie right to her door, partly because it seemed like the 'proper thing' to do. Mostly because it got us out of Dad's line of sight for a moment.

"Thanks for coming over," I said, giving her a lingering farewell kiss.

"Thanks for cumming," she replied, turning the nice moment into a mutual fit of hushed giggling.

"Any time."

"Uh huh." Kylie fidgeted, but held tight to my hands, preventing me from leaving yet. "Seriously though, thank you. For... for making me feel like a girl. And stuff."

"Ky, we're really gonna have to work on that. We need something less demeaning to be your 'girly' moments. Like... like flowers... and fancy dresses and dates... and candles and ponies and shit."

"S'not demeaning if I want it." She shrugged and nodded. "But I know what you mean. Trust me, I really do." She made a face. "But we'll have to workshop it, 'cause that all sounds like it'd be trying too hard to fit someone else's script. Plus, you know, fancy dresses wouldn't fit me right, and I still can't wear heels for shit. And I've got nowhere to keep a pony."

"We'll work on it."

"Ok."

A last kiss, then I had to go. We couldn't linger forever, much as I might want to.

I sat quietly next to Dad on the ride home. I saw him glancing at me, but I didn't acknowledge his curiousity until I had to.

"She seems like a nice girl," he said.

"She is."

"Have you, uh, been seeing her long?"

"Not that long, really. But I guess it's getting there."

There was another lengthy silence between us before he spoke again.

"If you ever need money or anything. To take her out..."

"Thanks, Dad."

"And, uh..." He coughed. "I want you two to be safe."

"Dad!"

"I'm not saying you're anywhere near there yet. But I--"

"Please stop."

"--don't want any unexpected surprises. That's all."

"Please, please stop."

"There's--"

"I'm begging you!"

Dad cleared his throat, sounding as uncomfortable as I felt, and mercifully let the subject drop. "Just let me know if you need anything," he said as we got out of the car. "Not even about that. But, like, anything."

"Yeah. Sure. Thanks. I'm, uh, gonna go try to forget this conversation happened."

He nodded. "Yeah. Me too, I think."

Later, lying in bed, I toyed with the idea that Kylie might well be thrilled that my dad was worried about her getting pregnant by accident. There was an almost equal chance she'd be as horrified as I was. Maybe both, for that matter.

****

I got to see Kylie again at school a couple days later. She was, rather adorably, waiting for me at my locker. The way her face lit up as I approached made me all tingly inside.

"Well hello," I said.

"Hey." Kylie squirmed a bit in anticipation, then darted in for a kiss when I didn't immediately provide one. It dragged out longer than either of us meant it to, but we had to break it off pretty quickly anyway. We didn't have much for privacy. As it was, we'd already attracted some looks. "Missed you," she whispered, hiding behind me as best she could as a shelter from prying eyes.

"Me too. Actually got excited to be back to school. Which is kinda crazy."

"Isn't it though?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

She grinned at me and leaned back against the neighbouring locker while I opened mine up and figured out what I needed for the morning.

We dawdled on our way to first period, but still got the point where we needed to split up too soon. There were too many people going by for anything terribly intimate, but we managed to sneak a quick kiss around a corner before parting. I was getting kind of addicted to her lips.

I'd only just started walking again, after admiring the sight of Kylie walking away, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, but whirled only to find the smirking face of Andrea beside me. Jess was on her far side, looking somewhat amused, but not as obviously so.

"Look at you go," Andrea said.

"Go where?" I asked, trying to ignore their stares.

"She's so into you," Andrea continued.

"He's into her too," Jess added.

"Well yeah, of course," Andrea said. "It's kind of adorable."

"I'm not really in the mood for being teased," I said.

"Who's teasing?" Andrea asked. "I think it's great."

"It's fine," Jess added, quite a bit less enthusiastically.

"That's nice," I said. "Now can I--"

"You two a couple now?" Andrea interrupted as though I hadn't even been speaking. "You really looked like you were just now."

"Does it matter?"

"I'm curious. That's all."

"Uh huh. Well we are, ok? Can we drop it now, please?"

Andrea nodded. "Sure. I gotta go this way anyway," she said, nodding down a side hall. "Catch you later."

"Sure," I muttered. "Later."

Jess kept tagging along with me, presumably still headed in the same direction. She was quiet at first, which I appreciated, but that didn't last.

"So it really doesn't bother you?" she asked in a low voice.

"What doesn't?" I asked, fearing I knew exactly what already.

"Who Kylie used to be?"

"I never knew her from before I moved here. You know that."

"Yeah, but... you know."

"Does it bother you?"

Jess flinched. "A little. Sometimes. I don't want it to. But I dunno."

"You know it's been harder on Kylie than anyone else, right?"

"Yeah. I do." Jess shrugged. "But I don't know what to do about any of it."

"It's not really about doing anything. In a sense."

"Maybe. I guess." Jess gave me a faint, crooked smile. "Ben's been less of an asshole since you kicked his balls in. That was kinda funny."

"Glad to hear it. I think."

"Just saying. They say violence never solves anything, buuuttt..."

"I could give you a good swift kick if that would help."

Jess took a quick step away from me. "No thanks. But... I appreciate the offer?" She shook her head. "Actually no. No I don't."

"It's a proven tactic."

"Yeah, still no."

"'K then."

"'K."

"I'll, uh, see you around?"

"Yeah. Sure."

****

Kylie was equal parts horrified and amused. Possibly leaning slightly toward the amused side, thankfully.

"Dude! That was a joke. You can't just go around threatening to kick girls in the pussy!" The smile on her lips belied her attempt at chastisement.

"I didn't. It was just... it was the way the conversation went."

"Uh huh. Sure."

"Besides, things are fine. If anything, people are being more cool about everything since I got suspended."

"People respect a cause worth kicking someone in the dick over, I guess," Kylie said almost sincerely.

"Ah. So that's the solution after all."

"Well... I wouldn't say that."

"No. No, probably not." I leaned back on the table we were sitting on. Our usual one. "I might have to go sit with the group again. See how things are. I kinda half thought I was done with them, generally. But I dunno."

"They're your friends, dude. You should."

"I mean, close as I got, anyway. I'd still rather be hanging out with you, given the choice."

"'Course you would. I sucked you off. Only makes sense to stick close."

I laughed. "Ha, yeah. That does bias me. Though you didn't do much sucking. Made me fuck your face, mostly."

"You complaining?"

"Not hardly. Just saying."

"Well... maybe next time I'll let you take it easy."

I perked up. "And when do you think next time is going to be?"

"Depends. What you doing after school?"

I groaned. "Don't say that."

"What?"

"I gotta go home right after. Still kinda in trouble. Sorta."

"Oh. Parents home too?"

"Mom probably will be."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Kylie pushed her hair back behind her ear. She appeared deep in thought, concentrating hard. I kinda liked that look on her. Particularly given the subject matter of her thoughts.

"Doesn't make it easy," she mused.

"We could maybe make it work, I guess. Technically, we didn't really have a great situation last time, and that went ok."

"Your mom saw us making out!"

I nodded. "True. And I'm not totally sure if they'd let us be, or insist on interfering in some way. Still, though. Options."

"Yeah. I'll have to think about it some more."

"Can't wait to get at my dick again, huh?"

Kylie punched me lightly on the shoulder. "Don't tease. I actually do wanna, like, do more stuff. S'not like you don't."

"No, I definitely do."

"Then you should be more polite."

"Should I? I kinda feel like I'd have even better results just, like, dropping my pants and grabbing a handful of your hair."

Kylie bit her lip and shook her head. "I hate that you're not wrong," she said softly.

I snorted. "See, I'm figuring you out."

"But you'd still feel too guilty to actually act on it, wouldn't you?"

"Probably, yeah. Doesn't mean I don't know."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

****

We took the first chance that presented itself. We were horny and impatient, and ready to jump at opportunities.

It was a flimsy pretext. Kylie came over to my place to study for a history test together, so our story went. It was a valid enough excuse, even if our intentions were less than noble.

Mom kind of headed us off at first by cheerfully offering the dining table for us to work at. She knew what she was doing. There was no way she didn't. But I couldn't insist that we wanted to go to my room for makeouts and possible sexy times. Not without totally embarrassing Kylie and risking a flat rejection from Mom.

So we waited and actually got some studying in, which wasn't the worst thing. Mom did her best to pretend she wasn't keeping a close eye on us, but wasn't nearly so subtle as she thought. Or, perhaps, it was just super obvious to me because I was waiting for an opening that just wasn't coming.

Only after supper did we get some freedom to play with. We'd had to move our school stuff to get it out of the way for serving food, which allowed a perfect excuse for ditching it in my room and then returning afterward. Somehow, in spite of her earlier watchfulness, Mom didn't seem to catch on to our passingly cunning plan.

"Was it just me, or did your mom really not want us sneaking off for alone time?" Kylie asked as we barricaded ourselves in my bedroom.

"Not just you," I assured her. "Don't know why she'd have a problem with it though."

"Contractually obligated, I think. Not s'posed to let your kids discover sexuality in a healthy and stress-free way."

"Oh yeah. That sounds about right."

"It does, doesn't it?"

I nodded and followed Kylie to my bed. "Luckily she slipped up."

"Mmhm. Lucky."

We giggled and fell into bed together. Our lips locked, our legs tangled together, and our hands sought out fun places to grope and fondle. I'd been anticipating this moment for a while, and it didn't take me long to get painfully, needily hard.

Kylie gave more and more attention to my cock. She rubbed the bulge in my pants, pressing her hand firmly against it as I rubbed back against her. I knew she wanted it, and I so wanted to let her have it.

Between the two of us, we managed a chaotic, disorganized team effort of undoing my jeans and getting them down my legs, where I could eventually kick them off.

My boxers were easier. Kylie followed them down, tearing them past my ankles and releasing them so they landed behind her in the middle of the floor. Her eyes locked onto my erection as soon as it was visible, only flicking up to meet my gaze for a brief second as she positioned herself between my legs.

I sat up and scooted to the edge of my bed, delivering my cock to Kylie's hungry mouth. She didn't dive straight on it, though I'd halfway expected she would. All she did at first was give it a kiss, then wrap her fingers lightly around my pulsing shaft.

"You're so hard for me," she cooed happily.

"Yeah I am."

Kylie softly licked from the middle of my cock right to the tip. "Are you too excited? I was gonna take care of you, but you could fuck my mouth again if you want."

I groaned. "I'm actually tempted. But, uh, I'd kinda like you to. Please?"

She grinned. "Of course. I've wanted to try this too, you know."

She licked me again, holding impressive eye contact as her tongue caressed me. She manipulated her fingers carefully to stay out of the way as she experimented with different tongue strokes and areas of contact. In between licks she'd give occasional little strokes of her fist, but mainly she just wanted to lick me for a while.

I got all squirmy under her teasing affections. Precum leaked freely from my cock, and Kylie was very attentive about cleaning it up as it appeared. She was driving me kind of crazy with her attention to detail, and the certain knowledge that she was enjoying herself as much as I was. Maybe more than I was, somehow. Her eyes were happy, full, and going somewhat glazed the longer she played with me.

It only got better when she finally took me in her mouth. She still only teased, just barely popping me in and sucking a bit, then releasing and giving me a few strokes, alternating licks and kisses with further oral penetration.

Kylie's technique refined somewhat as she figured out what I liked, what made me moan or wiggle, or sometimes thrust involuntarily toward her mouth. She liked getting reactions from me. I played them up a little for her benefit, but I didn't need to do much. She would have gotten the responses she wanted whether I gave them deliberately or not.

I was completely at her mercy. She worked me with her mouth, her soft lips and wet tongue utterly enthralling me. It was a hold I couldn't break, nor indeed did I have any desire to do so.

My cock sank gradually deeper inside her. I knew how deep she could take me. All the way, if she wanted. But she was in no hurry to show off again. I was getting antsy, wanting her to do it, to take me in her throat, to embrace the entire length of my cock within her. She was taking her own sweet time about it.

"Deeper," I urged.

Kylie pulled away, a trail of spit connecting us for a moment after her lips left my cock. "You wanna be in charge, we can go as deep as you want," she offered.

"Uh, no, that's ok."

"You sure? I don't mind."

"I like you doing your thing."

"Me too. It's fun. But you're gonna just have to deal with me doing it how I want. And it's gonna be slooowww."

"Tease."

"Ingrate."

I ran my fingers through Kylie's hair as she resumed sucking on me. "I'm very grateful," I assured her. "You feel so amazing."