by DrivenLust
Good god that was amazing. The writing, the characters..mmn, I need more. Moar! Please <3
I'd recommend making the next chapter(s) longer, but overall it was a very good start to a story.
Nice job. It's a little rough, but for your first effort I'm impressed. Additionally, am I correct that English isn't your first language? If so, this is even more impressive.
I agree with the earlier anonymous commenter. Rough in certain ways, Maybe add a little more location context but there were some true moments of excellence. Keep it up!
I just loved it - want to know more - want to read more. Very nice imaginative setup but there's a back story begging to be told. I want to read it.
xoxo,
Di
Wonderful story I am yearning to see the follow-up of Jenny and Jack! Please keep writing.
Looking forward to see how he ends up naked and get taken for his first time.
I'm about to read Ch. 2. I love the story line. can't wait for Jack to get more of Jenny. She could take charge with me anytime she wants.
Beautiful thank you! http://slave-selection.com?P=A787585
Nice, fun and flirty start. Only 2 parts and after the first, in wishing for more.