Someone to Love Us

"Why can't I start tomorrow?" she asked.

"Tomorrow is Christmas Day," I told her. "We don't work on Christmas. You need to go shopping after Christmas. You need to dress professionally, and Molly needs to look like a professional's daughter."

"What will I be doing?" she asked.

"Anything Malina tells you to do." I said. "You're going to be her assistant. She may have you making coffee, filling the paper towel holder in the restroom or escorting important clients from one office to another. You may be typing reports or taking notes in meetings. You'll do whatever she needs you to do. Well, if she tells you to have sex with her, you don't have to do that," I grinned at her.

She laughed. "Okay, I guess I deserved that. Since she told me she's engaged, I suspect that won't be a problem."

"Well, she goes both ways," I said. "She's not a cheater, though. Now, do you have anything you need to tell me?"

"Yes, I do," she said. "I have 73 dollars. How am I supposed to buy clothes to dress professionally?"

"You have a card for Macy's," I told her. "I'll have Malina take you and help you pick out what you need."

"How much is on it?" she asked.

"I have no idea," I said. "Malina will have a corporate American Express Card. If yours runs dry, she'll use that. You'll have one by the end of the week. You have to account for your expenses, but you can use it for anything you need. Just make sure you need it. You'll have to answer to Malina for what you spend. You can use it for food until you get your own cards. After that, it's up to you. You may need to eat here for a while. You can order anything you want from room service. You can eat in the restaurant here. It won't cost you anything. You can get toiletries from the hotel and anything you want from the concierge that is available. That will be at no cost. That should help you get started. Anything else?"

"What are Molly and I going to do tomorrow?" she asked.

"Hopefully, you're going to go with me to my daughter's house for Christmas dinner," I said.

"Oh, no, we couldn't impose on your family like that," she protested.

"It's only an imposition if I, or she, don't want you there," I said. "I want you there very badly and once she meets the two of you, she's going to want you there, too. She's a very nice person, Sahara. She's much nicer than I am. That's the way I raised her. I wanted her to be better than I am. Thankfully, she did what I said, not what I did."

"Do you think she'll like me?" Her voice was tremulous and frightened.

"I think she'll love you, and I know she'll love Molly. Don't worry; I won't leave you alone with anyone you don't know."

She sniffed a couple of times and nodded. She stood up. "I'm going to go to bed now. Thank you, Bleys. I'll never be able to thank you enough."

"Just be happy and take care of yourself and Molly. Live a good life; that's all I want you to do."

She came and stood in front of me, her huge tilted up eyes fixed on mine. She stood on her tiptoes and incredibly soft lips brushed my cheek. She fled down the hallway and was gone.

When I knocked on their door early the next morning, Molly opened it and threw herself into my arms.

"Good morning, angel," I hugged her close. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, me and Mom washed our clothes this morning. You should see our huge bed, Bleys," she dragged me off to the bedroom to show me. I saw that they'd had fruit and cereal delivered. Sahara was just pulling a sweater down over her head and I got a flash of milk chocolate skin and a red bra. She gave a little shriek when her head popped through the turtleneck.

"Bleys, Jesus, don't you knock?"

"He did knock, Mom," Molly told her. "I wanted to show him our bed!"

Sahara blushed and it was an interesting effect. Her cheeks took on a pink cast that spread beautifully down her neck. "Sorry." She glared at Molly. "Do I bring people into rooms while you're getting dressed?" she asked.

"Sorry, Mom, I thought you were dressed," Molly apologized.

"Well, it was a good show," I grinned at Sahara. Her blush deepened but she laughed.

"Well, I am dressed now," she said. "Are we ready? I'm sorry I don't have any nice clothes like you got us, Bleys."

Both of them had on jeans, sneakers and bulky sweaters. They might be a little warm at Alicia's, but they looked great to me. "You're fine," I said. "Let's go."

The car was waiting when we got out front, and we climbed in while Fredrick held the door. "Is this your car?" Molly asked. "Don't you ever drive? How come it's so big?"

I laughed. I remembered Alicia asking all those questions, too. "It belongs to the company, I do drive sometimes and it's big so I can haul Molly and Sahara in it."

"Don't ask so many questions," Sahara told her.

"How will I ever know anything if I don't ask questions?" Molly asked.

"That's right," I said. "You're a smart girl."

Sahara rolled her eyes. "Please, don't encourage her. She never stops."

When we pulled up in front of Alicia's building Molly looked up in awe. "Why does your family all live in such tall buildings?" she asked.

"We like to make people's necks ache from looking up," I told her.

She looked up at me to see if I was serious. "Nuh-uh," she said. "You shouldn't lie to little girls, Bleys."

We both laughed, the door attendant opened the door for us and took us to the elevator. When it opened, there were delicious smells filling the hallway. I rang the bell and in a minute, Alicia pulled the door open and flung herself into my arms. We kissed and I just held her for a minute. I loved my little girl. She wasn't at all little any more. She was twenty-two and a second semester junior in college. I introduced her to Sahara and Molly and she hugged them, too. She hugged everyone. We were swept up in her tornado of energy and whisked through the door and inside. Cloe, her roommate, gave a little shriek and came running to hug me.

"Hi, Dad, (she'd called me that since she was in the first grade) I've missed you!" She kissed me a dozen times and I introduced her, too, explaining our relationship to Sahara and Molly. Cloe and Alicia swept them off into the kitchen and when I checked, Sahara was whipping mashed potatoes and Molly was sitting on the counter top, helping Alicia put whipped cream on a pie. Helena, my mother-in-law, was in there and she waved and blew me a kiss. They were all laughing and chattering, and I went to join Bill in the living room. He poured me a drink from a decanter and it turned out to be a very good Scotch.

After a bit, Alicia came in and curled up against me. "I have something to tell you, Daddy," she said. "Promise me you won't get mad."

Well, that's never a propitious beginning to a conversation, but I promised. "You aren't pregnant or something, are you?"

She punched my arm. "No, silly. Mom is coming by later."

I wasn't mad but I was very disappointed. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I asked.

"I didn't know," she said. "She called about ten minutes before you got here."

"Well, I didn't promise not to get mad," Bill said. "What the hell is wrong with you, Alicia? I won't be in the same room with her. Helena and I are going to leave before she gets here. Bleys, you can go with us."

"Jesus Christ, Grandpa," Alicia blew up. "She's my mother and she's your daughter. How long are you going to keep punishing her?"

"Forever," he said. "You just tell me right now when she's coming."

"You don't have to leave," Alicia said. "She's only going to be here an hour. You and Grandma and Daddy can go in the den. I promise I won't let her go in there. I'm very disappointed that you're all such a bunch of damn cowards, though."

"Well, I'm disappointed my daughter is a bitch and that my granddaughter is too stupid to see it," he said.

"Whoa, whoa, let's not say things we don't mean here," I jumped in. "Bill, Alicia isn't stupid. Alicia, that was very rude. We all need to calm down here. Alicia, I'm glad you have a relationship with your mother, but none of the rest of us want anything to do with her. You know that and you shouldn't have let her come here."

She started to cry. "I'm sorry, Grandpa. Do you think I don't know what she's like? Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep when I was five years old, because my mother was too selfish to love me? I know you all hate her, but for my own mental peace, I'm not going to do that. I didn't want her to come here today. I promise I won't let her bother you. You can all just go to the den and I'll keep her away."

Bill moved over and took her in his arms. "I'm sorry I said you were stupid, baby," he told her. "I just don't want to see her or think about her. It hurts me."

They hugged and she composed herself. Helena called in that dinner was ready and we all trooped into the dining room. We sat down and began passing the dishes around. I noticed that Molly was sitting with her hands folded in her lap, just watching everyone. "What's wrong, honey?" I asked her.

"We should say grace," she said.

We all looked at one another. I'm a believer, but not at all comfortable with such open displays. "Do you want to say it?" I asked her.

"Yes," she nodded and all those curls bounced around her little face. "We should hold hands."

We all attached ourselves to the people next to us and bowed our heads. I watched Sahara and Molly. "Thank you, God, for this wonderful food," she began. "Thank you for Mom and for us all being together. Thank you for Alicia and Cloe and them being so nice. Thank you for Bill and Helena. I've been praying for a long time, God. I didn't think you were listening. Maybe Santa told you. I've been asking for someone to love us and you sent us Bleys. Please let him keep loving us. That's all I wanted to tell you right now. Thank you."

Sahara was sobbing and all the other girls were emotional wrecks by the time that little voice stopped speaking. There was the sound of scraping chair legs and every woman in the room was trying to hug her at the same time. I discovered that my cheeks were wet and Bill was just as bad. My God, it was heart breaking. Everyone was telling Molly they loved her and Alicia gave me a fierce stare and nodded at Molly. I didn't need the direction; I knew exactly what I needed to do. I got up, walked around the table to her and knelt by her chair.

I pulled that little curly head up against my chest. "I'm never going to stop loving you, Molly," I told her. "I'm going to love you for the rest of my life."

She gave me that little angel smile and stretched her little arms around my chest as far as they could reach. "I'm going to love you the rest of my life, too," she said.

I looked at Sahara and those exotic eyes were shining and liquid. "Thank you," she mouthed. I nodded and we all went back to our chairs. Alicia went and put on a Christmas album and the whole afternoon took on a lighthearted air as we stuffed ourselves and laughed together.

Bill and I cleaned up and when we went into the den afterward, the girls were watching some sappy Christmas movie. I sat on the sofa and Alicia came and sat beside me. Molly noticed me after a bit and came to sit on my lap. I wrapped my girls up in my arms and just soaked up the love like a sponge. I don't ever remember feeling better.

The doorbell rang, and Alicia gave us all a look. The mood evaporated a little, but I couldn't be brought down from that emotional high with a little napping angel on my lap. Alicia went to answer the door, and after a bit I could hear voices talking in the living room. Molly stirred and woke up about that time, and I stood up and carried her to the door. Alicia and her mother were sitting there and I leaned against the jamb and held Molly.

I hadn't seen Samantha for more than two years. She lived somewhere in France. I didn't keep track. She pretended to be some sort of artist. I hadn't seen any of her work for sale in the New York galleries, but evidently, it made her happy.

She looked up at me when I leaned against the door. "Hello, Bleys," she said. "You're looking well." I nodded to her.

"Who's your girlfriend?" she asked.

"I'm Molly," she piped up. "I love Bleys. He loves me, too, but I'm not his girlfriend. Do you love Bleys?"

Samantha nearly choked. After sputtering around for a minute, she looked at Alicia for help. Alicia raised one eyebrow.

"Yes, I suppose I do," Samantha finally said. "We used to be married."

"Why aren't you still married?" Molly asked.

Samantha gobbled around for a minute and was saved from answering that awkward question by Sahara coming in and standing beside me. She slid her arm around my waist and I draped my free one over her shoulder. Samantha looked shocked. Her face went white and then red. I turned back to the den and took Sahara and Molly with me.

"Who was that woman?" Sahara asked.

"She used to be married to Bleys," Molly told her. "I forgot her name."

Sahara looked up at me. "We were divorced seventeen years ago," I told her. "Alicia and I were 'stifling her dreams.' We see her every couple of years when her dreams permit. It's a long story. I want another piece of pecan pie. You ladies want anything?"

Molly wanted fudge and Sahara wanted coconut cream, so I went to get it. Samantha was gone and Alicia came into the kitchen with me.

"She thought Sahara was your girlfriend and Molly was your daughter," she said. "I didn't enlighten her. I think she was stunned about the idea of you finally having someone in your life."

"I've had someone for twenty-two years," I squeezed her.

"Yeah, me, too," she grinned up at me. "Jamie is coming over. You want to take Sahara and Molly and go on a walk with us?"

Jamie was her boyfriend. I kind of liked the guy, but, of course, he was the enemy because he wanted my baby. He was a broker with some firm down on Wall Street. I told her I'd ask them after we finished our pie. They wanted to go, but they needed coats. Alicia found one for Sahara and Molly made do with a NYCC hoody with the sleeves rolled up. Jamie showed up and we introduced him around.

We walked down to the park and around some trails. Molly skipped along, holding my hand on one side. Pretty soon I felt another hand slip into mine and Sahara smiled up at me. "Is it okay?" she whispered. I nodded and squeezed her hand. It was a beautiful day, very cold but sunny. The snow sparkled and our breath puffed out white clouds. Molly wanted a piggyback ride and I carried her for a long time. She felt like she weighed about ten pounds. That little voice chattering in my ear was the sweetest sound I'd heard in a long time.

Sahara walked closer and closer to me and then she took my arm and put it around her shoulders, pressing against my side as we walked. I played with that amazing mop of curls and when we got back, I didn't want it to end.

We stayed until evening and ate leftovers before leaving for home. The goodbyes were loving and tearful and Fredrick held the door for us to get in. The girls snuggled up against me and we talked and dozed on the way home. I dropped them at their door and got a hug from Molly before she scampered inside. Sahara came and pressed herself against me, looking up into my eyes. "Thank you, Bleys," she whispered. "This was the best day of our lives." Her soft lips brushed mine and then she was gone.

I made my way down the hall and I had to agree. I didn't ever remember feeling that good. After thirty minutes on the treadmill to burn off a small portion of those calories I had consumed I showered and got in bed, thoughts of little dusky angels and bigger ones, too, lulling me into pleasant dreams.

Life got pretty much into a routine after Christmas. Malina took Sahara and Molly shopping the day after Christmas. Molly wanted to show me all her new things and dragged me off down the hall to their room. She was just adorable, and Sahara and I talked about her going to school. Alicia had gone to a private school nearby, and I suggested that Molly go there, too. Sahara told me she couldn't afford it, but I knew they offered scholarships to poor children. I promised to check into it and insisted that the company would pay her tuition if that was necessary. In the meantime, she came to the daycare at the office building while Sahara was working.

We met in the hotel lobby in the morning and rode to work together. Sahara took Molly off to the daycare and then went to Malina's office to work. She had her own office, but she wasn't there a lot. The first day we had been there about two hours when Maria, my secretary, buzzed me. "Someone is here to see you," she said. "I'm letting her in."

It was Molly. She had a daycare worker with her and she ran across the office and hugged me. "I was lonely," she said. "I'm kind of scared, Bleys. I don't know where Mom is and we couldn't find her, so I came to you."

"It's okay, baby," I told her. "You can come and see me anytime you're lonely or scared. Have your teacher there show you how to get here and you memorize it. I'll have Maria show you where Mom's office is. She may not be there, but sometimes she will be. I'll tell you if she's leaving the building."

It became a routine. Every morning about 10:30, Molly would come up the elevator and into my office. She would give me a hug, and go back to the daycare. I started keeping pastries in my office and we would have one before she went back. It didn't matter what I was doing, if I was in the office I made time to do that. I discovered that your day just goes better if you get a hug from a little dusky angel at 10:30 every morning. She came up to my office at 5:30 and we waited for Sahara there. When she came, we would go home together and it became the usual thing for us to go out to eat three times a week.

Molly was accepted into the kindergarten at the school, and she was on a scholarship. She only went in the afternoons, and Fredrick came and picked her up from day care at noon. She went to school until 3:30 and he brought her back to the day care. They became very good friends over a short period. She was impossible not to love.

If you knew what to look for you could still see the fear in both of them. It was most apparent in Sahara, but they were both always on edge around me. It was almost heartbreaking how much they wanted to please me and how hard they worked at it. I could tell that they'd talked about it because every time one or the other of them would begin to argue with me about something, the other would quickly shut that down. It got to the point that I couldn't stand it any longer. We were playing some silly board game in my suite one evening, and Molly and I started a friendly argument about the rules. I saw Sahara reach out and touch Molly's arm. Molly looked up at her and Sahara frowned.

Immediately, Molly capitulated and began to apologize to me. It was time for a talk. "Listen, ladies," I told them. "I know what you're doing. I love it that you want me to be happy, but I'm not happy with little slave girls that bow and scrape to me. You should see that from the way Malina and Paul treat me. We fight like hornets sometimes. They aren't afraid of me. It hurts my feelings that you are. Do you think that I'm just going to get mad at you and toss you out on your ear? That's not the kind of guy I am and it pisses me off that you think I am. Sorry about the language, Molly. If you think I'm wrong about something, you need to tell me. If you want to snap at me and throw a tantrum, that's what you should do. I love you both very much. You're family to me and even if I'm mad at you, you'll still be family. We'll kiss and make up and everything will be fine. Just relax and be human. I'm not God."

There were tears in Sahara's eyes. "You are to us," she said softly. "Ever since Christmas Eve, our lives have been like a fairy tale. We owe you everything. How can we argue with you or throw a tantrum at you when you've been everything to us? I don't think you know how bad it was for us, Bleys, and how much we owe you."