The Stolen Dozen Ch. 05

"I took a lot of cold showers, and studied until I knew everything about anything I needed to know. Well almost everything, I didn't do very well in French. I only got a 78% in my French class. If I had gotten in the 90s, I would have been valedictorian in my high school."

"You must've been very disappointed."

"I wasn't, because I didn't like French to start with. I find it a very uneven language to speak and to write. However, my father and mother were very disappointed in my grade because of what it did to my overall grade point average."

"What was your final grade point average?"

"97.627.

"And you were not your class valedictorian."

"No, there were three people smarter than me."

"Not if you would have gotten to a 90+ in French."

"I have heard the same thing from my father many times. The lack of those 12 or more points will be a sore point between the two of us for many years."

"Somehow Robert, I doubt that. Having you back alive, will be more than enough to make him ignore those points. If they can get you to walk, he will forget they ever existed."

"I vote for number two, Francine. I can't complete my mission in life without walking. Mentally I am prepared for what I have to do. Physically, I am stuck in this chair, and that is unacceptable. I cannot believe God would do that to Carolyn and me. I cannot believe She would allow me to survive and not give me the wherewithal to complete my mission."

"You're kidding me, right? God is a woman?"

"Where have you been? Of course, God is a woman. Only a woman can give birth, and all life comes from birth. Dammit, Carolyn is going to kill me. I am not allowed to give out this information to you, because it is not allowed to be common knowledge for a millennium. It is such a simple concept you would think everyone would be open to it."

"While I don't understand why the long delay in giving out the information is necessary, I do agree that the knowledge is earth shattering.

First, and foremost, every precept and religion has to be changed. God has to go from a He to a She. Does Abraham pray to the Almighty He God, The Almighty She God, or just Almighty God prior to bringing the knife down to sacrifice Isaac?" The Caravaggio painting showing the agony of that moment does not tell us, but according to the Bible, we know it was the former, because the Bible was written by men."

Second, everything we look at on earth that grows, now has to be looked at as a miracle. It's not something we should not have realized before, but now God has thrown it in our faces, and told us so. There is no life without Her. None at all. How do we get that through our thick skulls? Waste must come to an end, and poverty, and hunger. East of the Mississippi, we get more water and flooding every year, that it causes billions, if not trillions of dollars in damages. West of the Mississippi, there has been a drought for nearly 30 years. Lake Mead is down to a record low. There are hundreds of fires going on all the time, because of lack of water. Does anyone get the message? Build pipelines from the East to the West to carry the excess water and put it into the reservoirs, rivers, and streams. You are creating new jobs. You are spending billions building pipelines, instead of repairing roads, infrastructure, and houses every year on one side of the country, when you could be restoring, and rebuilding the other side. The insurance companies can factor there costs in easily enough, and probably save money, as well as the state, local , and federal governments. The federal flood program is a joke, and loses billions every year when the Mississippi, and Missouri rivers overflow. Pipelines from those rivers alone would fill Lake Mead in seven to 10 years, and the farmers would not lose millions in crop damages every year. All it would take is some advanced thinking, instead imagining how to clean up the mess."

"You sound like you have a plan Miss Francine, would you care to share it?"

"I have many friends in the industry, who work in front of and behind the cameras. Give me a little time to plant a seed and see if any interest germinates. If it does, anything that begins in New York, grows exponentially. It gets picked up in Hollywood, Miami, and Chicago very quickly. Something like this would be considered a non-profit venture. Actors and movie industry people love to have their names as parts of non-profit ventures. It's good for their image and they get their names and pictures plastered everywhere. This would be huge to the tune of trillions of dollars in expenditures. There would be government hearings, feasibility studies, route planning, contracting, eminent domain, all the things that go into a major undertaking.

The shortest pipeline would be just over 1600 miles, traversing, Minnesota, Iowa, Kansas, Colorado, Idaho, Arizona, and Nevada. If we started today, the first piece of concrete would not be laid for a dozen years, because of the jurisdictional fights that would go on. Factories would have to be brought back online to build the huge diameter pipes that would be necessary to transport the water trans-continentally. You can't do it by viaduct because you're going against the grade as soon as you hit the Rocky Mountains. Regardless, this project is going to be a lot of fun."

"You are talking like this is a 'fait accompli', Miss Francine."

"You are right, Robert, that is exactly the way I'm thinking about it. I think it's going to work. I can't wait to get on the ground, and start talking to my people. You are very good for me, Robert. I can't wait to get you to my apartment."

"I can't wait to hear from you either, Miss Francine. I hope I don't disappoint you."

"And I you, Robert."

"I don't believe there is any way for a woman to disappoint a man, Miss Francine. The woman has all the attributes necessary to please a man from the beginning of their relationship, and all she has to do is be willing. The man has to perform his duties properly to bring the woman to fruition. If he doesn't do this, he is a failure."

"That is a very interesting attitude, Robert. It is one not shared by many men. Men, most men I've known, only care about their own satisfaction, not the satisfaction of their partners. I have been left by the wayside many times without being satisfied, and watched the peacock dress and prance out my door."

"It's a pity castration is not legal in cases like that, Miss Francine. The gentleman should be taught a lesson in manners."

"My boss wouldn't know manners from a manhole, if it hit him in the head."

"Give me three minutes with him in a dark room, when I'm on my feet, and I guarantee you he will be kissing each of your toes, and begging your forgiveness for his past indiscretions."

"If I give you four minutes, would you make him kiss my ass?"

"I could do that, Miss Francine, in two minutes."

"You have a deal, Robert. I can't wait for him to pay up."

"I can't wait to walk."

"Write down your contact information so I can get in touch with you, this evening, or tomorrow morning. I don't want to delay our getting together very long."

"Here's my phone number and address; why don't you have someone pick me up here, tomorrow at 8 AM. If you have everything ready at your apartment, I will be at your disposal from the moment I get there."

"I haven't been with a man in nearly 5 months, because of my last experience, which was awful. You better make up for him, or I may turn into a lesbian."

"The only thing I'm worried about is hurting you. Please buy plenty of lubricant for both vaginal and anal copulation. They are not the same."

"I do not do anal."

"You will. You will need disposable enemas, or an enema bag, whichever you prefer."

"I do not do anal."

"I can always go up there the first time using a condom to loosen you up, but it also can compact whatever's in there, and make it more difficult for you to excrete it. It's your choice."

"I'm beginning not to like you, Robert."

"You will tomorrow, when you see me. You will definitely not become a lesbian."

"Bastard."

"I am not. I know and love both my parents."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then be more like Carolyn, and use the English language correctly."

"You must write a biography about your dear wife, because she sounds like she had you wrapped around her tiny finger."

"She did. She could have me do anything and everything she wanted me to do, without question. It didn't matter what it was, if Carolyn wanted it done, and it was possible for me to do it, I got it done."

"Ladies and gentlemen, please put your tray tables, and seatbacks in the upright and stowed positions and prepare for landing. Make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened across your laps, and all your personal items are safely placed under your seats. We will be landing in less than 20 minutes. Thank you."

"Thank you for making this a very short flight, Robert."

"I was thinking the same thing, Miss Francine. I'll look forward to being picked up early tomorrow morning."

"Get lots of rest, you're going to need it."

"Looking at the condition of the two of us, I would say I am very well prepared for what's to come."

"I will make you a wager that you fall asleep before I do."

"Do you want to bet your ass on it?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, I don't do that."

"It was just a question. You said I would fall asleep before you did. I said, "Do you want to bet your ass on it?" Yes or No? How certain are you of your claim that I am going to fall asleep first? If you are absolutely certain, your answer would be yes. Anything less than that would fall into the maybe category. And if you are certain that you're going to lose, your answer would be No, and you should back out of the bet. What's it going to be Miss Francine, after all this was your idea?"

"I've never gone to bed with a man who didn't fall asleep before I did. After you ejaculate, you are all worthless. Your dicks become lifeless for the next hour or more, and you sleep like your dead."

"What do I get if I win this bet, and you fall asleep before I do? What would you like, Miss Francine?"

"I want the right of first refusal to play Carolyn in any play, television or full-screen movie made for the next 10 years."

"As far as I'm concerned, you can have the right of first refusal as long as your weight is below 115 pounds. I don't believe Carolyn ever made it to 100 pounds, but I am sure you could pull off the look."

"In that case, Robert, you have the bet. I'll keep my phone by the bedside to prove to you that you fell asleep before I did."

"I guess I should do the same thing to you, and show you that you were sleeping peacefully, while I was awake."

"Why do I have a feeling that I've lost this bet already?"

"Because you are a very smart young woman."

"If I was very smart, I would've kept my mouth shut, as well as my ass."

After all the other passengers had deplaned, Robert was lifted from his seat, carried out, and down the stairs to his waiting wheelchair. Francine and he were taken into the terminal building, where his and her greeting committees awaited. Both sets of parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and friends mobbed him as soon as he cleared the fences. Francine stayed back in fear for her life, because it was such a mob scene.

Her greeting committee was more restrained. Her agent, her manager, her mother, and a few of her friends were there to greet her, as well as members of the print and visual media. As soon as Robert was able to gain control over his family's enthusiasm, he yelled, "I was very fortunate to meet someone on the aircraft I would like to introduce to you. She is a very famous model and actress, Miss Francine Parada. Francine, please join me."

She threaded her way through the crowd until she was at Robert's side, raised her hand and waved at everyone.

She received a thunderous round of applause.

Robert said, "I have given Miss Parada the right of first refusal to play Carolyn in any Play or made for Television or Movie Production, as long as she maintains certain restrictions. Her lawyers will draw up a contract that Mr. and Mrs. Reifsynder and I have to sign to make it legal. I have only known Miss Parada for a few hours, but I can tell you that she has followed the story of Carolyn and I from the very beginning. She has many intriguing ideas for a woman so young. She will be beginning a nonprofit organization dedicated to a sole purpose, which I believe can solve one major problem this country has. DROUGHT. The West, everything west of the Mississippi River has been in a drought for more years than either of us has been alive, and it only continues to get worse.

To the East of the Mississippi River, we are blessed with abundant rainfall.

In the winter months, the northern tier of states are blanketed with snow, which melts, and is absorbed into the ground until it is saturated. Then it flows into the streams and rivers that feed into the tributaries of the Missouri and Mississippi rivers, which overflow their banks every year, costing billions of dollars in damages to crops, cars, homes, and lives of American citizens every year.

Amazingly, during our short time together, she has figured out a way to pay for all the improvements that will be needed, without raising taxes, and costing everyone an arm and a leg. It will cost the insurance companies, and the state and local governments tillions of dollars each year, but they already take that money out of each of us in premiums and taxes every year. It won't cost them a penny more than it does now to start these improvements. Miss Parada would you tell everyone what your thoughts are?"

"Quite honestly, I don't know why the Army Corps of Engineers hasn't done it already. If you know you're going to have a flood, you build levees to divert the water away from the affected areas. In extreme cases, you use flood gates to divert huge amounts of water away from the river and force the water elsewhere. South of Minneapolis along the Mississippi River, when it is at flood stage, we should have multiple flood gates to divert trillions of tons of water to pipelines that must be built to send water to the west, instead of onto farmlands to destroy crops. The shortest pipelines would be 1600 miles long; the longest would be 2300 miles long. Each one of these are necessary to begin building up water reserves in areas of extreme drought. Lake Mead needs water, every resort area in the Southwest needs water. Los Angeles needs water, as does San Diego. Every city along the Texas border needs water. As NASA says when it looks to the stars for life in the universe, "Follow the water." Every year we waste more water by allowing it to flow into the Gulf of Mexico. It adds silt that has to be dredged to keep the port of New Orleans open, costing millions of dollars every year. That money could be put into use building a desalinization plant making pure water for the city of New Orleans, and the surrounding areas. We are not talking about something that only happens every 10 years, we are talking about something that has to be done continually.

If we start thinking ahead of our problems, instead of being behind them all the time, maybe this country could get its head out of its ass and start making progress towards a better tomorrow, and make a better future."

Everyone, including some of the press corps, applauded.

The two groups broke up and headed towards their respective homes.

Anthony asked, "Is there anything you want to tell me son?"

"I've gained 23 pounds and grown 1 inch, since the last time you saw me."

"Robert, I can do one thing you can't do, and if you give me one more smart answer like that, I'm going to hit you. You know what I mean, so answer the question."

"I am being picked up at 8 o'clock tomorrow morning, dad. She has an itch, that she wants me to scratch."

"I saw the way she looked at you, and that was the exact feeling I got. Have a wonderful time my son, and be careful. I don't want any grandchildren running around, wondering who their father is."

"I will never do that to a child of mine dad. My firstborn is due in September. I don't believe Francine wants to become pregnant, because of her profession."

"I will just remind you, as your father, to be responsible, and be careful."

"Thank you, dad, is there anything to eat?"

"Are you kidding? Your mother's been cooking for days. You name it, it's in the refrigerator."

"In the words of General George Patton, "Attack!" He wheeled his chair around and raced towards the kitchen. He couldn't get near the refrigerator. It was blocked by every female in his family.

"Mom, grandma, honored guests, you're between me and food. That's not fair. I think it's against the Geneva Convention."

His grandmother said, "If there was a line of naked women behind us, and you hadn't had sex in years, what would be more important?"

"It wouldn't even be close, grandma. It would be the food. Now get out of my way, or I will move you all."

"Are you threatening us with physical violence?"

"As much as it pains me to say this, yes I am."

"Good boy. Go to the table, and we will bring you something to eat."

In minutes his aunts brought him a cold antipasto, hot lasagna, with meat balls, sausages, and pork skin, crisp Italian bread with softened butter, and olive oil, assorted cheeses, sliced lamb, beef, and pork . It was a meal fit for a king, and he was the only one eating. He felt out of place, after what he had been through down on the farm, but it didn't stop him from eating everything in sight. He was not given wine with his meal, and he didn't know why.

When he was finished eating, his grandmother slapped him and said again, "Good boy."

He moved into the living room, where his mother, father, aunts, uncles, and cousins were playing a board game. He took a 10 x 12 inch card and joined in. This game was worse than bingo night at the church hall, and could take all night, before a winner was called. Using dimes on the 48 spaces of your card you would think you would only lose $4.80. That was not the case. If at any time someone got a line across, or a line down, or a diagonal line, before someone filled the four corners and the center space, to win the entire game, that particular game was over, and all your dimes went into the central coffer. You had to start a new game all over again. You could lose your shirt, pants, shoes, socks and underwear by the time when midnight rolled around, playing this game for dimes, and many people did. That's why it was only played on special occasions: July 4, Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, Holy Saturday, and Memorial Day. There was always a 2 AM limit to finished the last game, and you could bow out when you ran out of money.

Robert's homecoming was a special occasion. The cards were brought out in the games began. They were always spirited affairs. After 4 1/2 hours of playing, Robert excused himself, put his dimes in the central coffer, and went to bed.

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Francine was in her apartment, bathing, shaving, and preparing for the following morning. She had purchased everything, everything she was told to buy, even though she did not intend to use them. She knew she was going to win, because no man had ever outlasted her. Sure, he was a few years younger than she was, but that gave him a hair-trigger if he had not been with a woman for a while. And if he wanted to go twice, she was fine with that, too. He would still go to sleep before she did.