The Vengeful Christmas Gift

He then sat down and I began to tell him what I knew and what I was doing at this point. He sat back and said, "What do you want the outcome to be?"

Now there was a fucking hard question. Part of me wanted to delete Sam from my life and forget she existed. Part of me wanted her to come to me and confess what she did and show enough remorse that I could try to work through marriage counseling to see if we could be saved. I honestly wasn't sure. But I did feel divorce was the most likely outcome.

"I guess I just want a fair outcome. I don't want to get screwed and don't want to be eating mac and cheese and ramen noodles for the next ten years. I also want Trent Brewer to be on the hook to support the kids. I love my kids," I said beginning to choke up. I thought of them as mine but saying it and knowing otherwise was heart wrenching.

Bob interjected, "Take your time. Don't feel like you have to rush."

I regained my composure and continued, "I love my kids but given what they did I don't think it's right that I would have to shoulder their expenses in a divorce."

Bob nodded, "Let me put some things together and then get back to you on options. Sound like a plan?" I nodded.

As I got up to leave we shook hands and he tried to reassure me, "Listen Luke I know this isn't easy. I can see how much you're struggling with this. Take it day by day and get all the facts before deciding. I know that your emotions are heavy right now. Try to let those subside a little so they are clouding your decisions. Are you going to talk to anyone for emotional support? Do you have brother or sister or close friend you can lean on?"

I said I had talked to one friend to get the private investigator and was going to talk to Jill Cushman. He nodded approvingly, "Jill's a great resource and sounding board. That will be helpful no matter what direction you go."

As I left Bob's office I felt a little better that I was getting a network in place to help me deal with this. I drove home slowly with a lot on my mind. When I pulled in the driveway Sam's car was already there. I came in the front door and yelled, "Home!"

She was in kitchen and yelled, "In here!" back at me. I went in and she smiled and blew me a kiss. I must have had a look on my face she came over to me.

"Another bad day?" She asked. I nodded. "Is there anything I can do?" She asked as she held me.

I thought to myself yes you can confess what you did and tell me why I shouldn't divorce you. I paused and said, "Seeing you really care about me and being able to feel it in your actions is all I need now." She didn't say anything to that.

She then looked up at me, "I love you and want you to see and feel that." We just stood there holding each other for a moment.

The rest of the night was pretty typical. Fortunately Sam fell asleep early on the family room couch. I went upstairs and found her laptop bag in the office. I'd never gone through it before but needed to now. I slowly unzipped the side pocket and there was the black phone. I swiped the screen to put in the code that I had from the papers I found. Code in and phone unlocked.

Since I didn't know how much time I had I installed the applications Matt gave me instructions on. Then I hooked up my laptop and downloaded everything from the phone using software he gave me. Lastly I looked at text messages. There were some basic work ones. Then Trent and also her best friend Tammy. I thought Tammy's being on there was odd since I knew she texted on Sam's regular phone.

I looked at Tammy's first. There weren't many texts but they were all about Sam's affair. I set up my phone as a video camera and slowly scrolled though them as I recorded. I would go back latter and read what they were. I then did the same with Trent. That went on forever but I thought that if I at least get the recent ones that would be a good start.

One thing I noticed was that when I went into the text messages it told me there were nine new ones from Trent that she hadn't read. I made a mental note of that.

I got done with that phone and put it back. I also put the software on the regular phone. I pulled out her laptop and wondered what I could do about that. Certainly it had security software on it from work. I would need help on that. There was nothing else incriminating in her bag.

I grabbed my laptop and went into the bedroom. I looked through what I had pulled from the phone. I then focused on the texts with her friend Tammy. As I read them something became clear, Tammy wasn't real thrilled with Sam over what she was doing. You could see that Tammy didn't want to end her friendship with Sam, but she was very forthright that she didn't approve. In one exchange Tammy told Sam, "Luke's a great guy. You know there are lots of women that would die for a guy like him. I'll tell you straight up that I've always thought he was sexy. How would you feel if I told you that we've been fucking for the last four years and my kids were all his?"

That clearly hit a nerve with Sam. But what was interesting wasn't her response of, "I'd be really upset and want to kick him out." It was this part, "You're right. I'm a hypocrite. I wish I could go back and tell my stupid younger self that you committed to Luke, when Trent moved back you should have ignored him. But I didn't do that. And now here I am with a wonderful husband who I love with all my heart, and a boyfriend that I still have deep feelings for and want to spend time with and I'm trying to figure out what the fuck to do with my life and how do I fix it."

The part that struck me instantly was the words she used to describe her feelings, love for me but deep feelings for Trent. Maybe there was a chance after all.

I then changed over to the texts with Trent. I counted back nine texts to find the last one Sam read. He wrote, "Hey sexy, do you want to meet at the usual this coming Thurs for some together time?"

Her response was, "Trent I told you that I have a lot going on right now." That was two weeks ago. She hadn't even read his texts after that. I sat back and sighed. I thought, wow, this was certainly taking on a different context.

I went downstairs and sat on the couch next to Sam. I looked at her and my mind had no specific thoughts but just a whole range of jumbled thoughts. In the past couple days I found out she had been having an affair for the past 12-13 years. But she was seemingly trying to end it or reduce it or something. It also looked like it was true that she loved me more than Trent. Fuck, I thought to myself. In some ways it would have been easier if she came home with a glob of cum in her hair at two am. But this wasn't that at all.

I put my hand down and touched Sam's shoulder, "Hey sexy wake up. Let's get you up to bed."

She was clearly drowsy and mumbled, "Ok" but was barely awake. For some crazy reason I had an impulse and went with it. I picked her up and carried her up the steps. She rested her head on my shoulder and I'm not sure she was even aware I was carrying her. It wasn't easy but I managed.

Down the hall and into the bedroom and she was waking up a little more. When I got near the bed she had lifted her head and was looking as I set her down. She had a sweet smile on her face, "You carried me all the way up her to bed?"

I just nodded, "Yep". She just looked at me. It wasn't a horny please fuck me sort of look, it was a oh my God you're incredible look. Hard to explain but that was the vibe she was giving off.

I gave her a set of PJ's and helped her change. She looked at me with that look the whole time. I got into bed and she wrapped herself around me and put her head on my chest. I could tell she was still looking at me that way as I turned out the light. As we laid there I felt something on my shoulder. Tears running off her face.

In the morning I toasted some bagels for breakfast. She came into the kitchen and I asked her if she slept well. She came over and hugged me, "Yes because of you." She looked at me again with that same look she had the night before. She began, "I have an idea."

"Ok what is it?" I asked wondering.

"What do you say tonight we drop the kids off at your parents for the night and go out to dinner and maybe a drink. Maybe that place over in Chardon with the great chocolate martinis."

I knew the place and smiled, "Sounds fun. Count me in."

Her eyes lit up, "Perfect!" She seemed to almost bounce out of the kitchen. What was that all about I wondered.

I went to work and when I got there put a call in to Jill Cushman. The woman who answered the phone said there was a 1 pm time slot open. I said I'd take it. I then headed back home to let Matt's guys in to copy everything I found in the desk.

When I got there they had a van and when they opened it there was all kind of gear in it. I went and opened the desk and started handing them stuff. They scanned all the papers and photos, copied the DVD's and flash drives. They are very efficient. Matt said they would try to organize the files and would get digitized info to me as fast as possible. I gave him the key to the storage unit as well.

I went back to work and couldn't concentrate. Then my phone buzzed and I saw Lori Canfield had texted me, "I got all the info about Sam's calendar. When can you get it?"

I texted back, "The Hawk at 11:30?"

A few seconds later, "See you then".

This data gathering was going good. Just her laptop to still deal with.

I got to lunch and saw Lori sitting there. I said hello when I got to her. She gave me a flash drive, "I had IT get this for me. I think it's everything. It goes back to when Sam started at Crystal. I called in a favor from a guy in IT to get this."

I felt the need to tease Lori and responded, "What type of favor was that?"

She turned red, "Oh God not that type!"

I smiled and said, "I'm just teasing." I paused for a second, "Hey Lori?"

"What," She replied.

"I don't know how this is all going to end up, but I wanted to tell you I really appreciate what you're doing. I know you're in a tough spot and I really respect how you're approaching this. It's really," I struggled for words, "It's, compassionate and loving." She smiled and blushed. Then I broke the seriousness a little, "But not loving in a favor from IT sort of way."

She shook her head, "God no wonder Sam loves you so much, you both have dirty senses of humor."

We ate lunch and I asked if she had had a chance to ask Sam why she hadn't just totally cut ties with Trent. She replied, "I haven't had a good opportunity yet. I feel like if I bring it up she'll suspect something or think I'm being noisy." I agreed and trusted Lori's judgement on this.

After lunch I thanked Lori against and told her to let me know if anything develops on her end and that I would get back to her about what she gave me.

It was time for me to head to see Jill Cushman. I got to her office and parked. It was a non-descript building with no sign. I went in and there was a receptionist for several different people. When I got inside I said, "Here to see Jill Cushman." The receptionist motioned for me to take a seat.

I sat and it wasn't a minute that at door opened and a tall red head looked over and said, "Luke?" I stood up and she put out her hand, "Jill, come on back."

As we walked to her office I couldn't help but notice how attractive she was. I started to wonder if I'm just starting to notice all the attractive women around me cause my marriage was on deaths door or because it just happened that all the women I was running into were extra attractive. I tried to ignore any more thoughts on that and concentrate.

Jill offered me a bottle of water. "Ok Luke, where do you want to start?" I gave her some background on my marriage and Sam. Then the revelations of the past few days. She listened intently and took a fair amount of notes.

When I got done she looked up and said, "I have a question that you need to be completely honest with me about. Have you ever cheated on your wife?" I was honest and told her that there was a person I had worked with that our friendship was headed over the line with. I told Jill that one day I woke up and told the other person that I was married and felt our friendship was going to head in a direction I couldn't go. We then just avoided each other and only spoke about work items and as little as possible.

Jill smiled, "That was a really honorable way to act. Good for you." She then cocked her head, "So what do you want from talking to me? How are you thinking that I can help you since at this point it's just you?"

I had given this some thought and started, "Well, two things. First, while I'm trying to gather information on her affair I'm concerned I'll do something that indicates that something is going on with me."

She raised her eyebrows and smiled, "So you want me to help you be a more effective spy and not give up what you're doing?" I nodded. "Ok," she said with an interesting tone in her voice.

"The other thing is, as I told you and from some information I've seen myself, it appears that Sam is trying to end her affair, or at least is very conflicted about it. I need helping understanding and assessing what she is doing and what it can tell me about what she really wants. I guess I'm saying I need help being able to tell if she really wants to be with me and is remorseful by looking at what she is doing without her knowing I'm watching her. Does that make sense?"

Jill had a much more approving look on her face with this one. Smiling she said, "It does. It absolutely does. Let me make sure I'm understanding you. You want to look at her words and actions that she uses to see if they indicate what she really thinks and wants without her knowing this is being assessed about her?"

"Exactly! I need an expert who can read something and say 'this person is honest when they say this or that'."

"I can definitely help on that. As to helping you be a better spy," She paused, "I'm not sure about that. I would say that you should act in a way that doesn't influence how your wife acts. Don't be more or less affectionate to her. Try to act like your typical self and that is the best thing."

"Ok I'll try," I answered.

Jill asked me to get her copies of the texts with Trent and Tammy. She was a little uncomfortable with how I got them but understood and said given that we have them they were some of the best information available. I told her I would drop that off the next day and we set up an appointment for a week out.

I went back to my office and decided I needed another person in the loop. I need some more IT help and know just the guy. A guy known as Ziggy, Craig Ziegler. He was a consultant that came from Crystal Systems and still did consulting work there a couple days a week. He had worked with Sam as well and started there around the time that she did.

After finding his number I called. "This is Ziggy," he answered.

"Hey Zig, Luke Somple," I said quickly.

"Mr S! How in the fuck are you doing?" He said with a slow methodical, "How in the fuck."

"I've been better."

He cut me off, "Oh... go on."

"I need your help with something at Crystal. You game?" I said wondering if he'd back out.

There as a pause, "You need info on Sam don't you?"

I was taken aback and was speechless for a second. "How did you know?"

I heard him take a deep breath, "Well, around the time we both started I, ummm," He seemed to stammer, "Listen you aren't going to be pissed at me for whatever I tell you are you? I mean, I maybe wish I would have handled something a little different. But you know, I didn't want to go sticking my noise where it didn't belong and try to help when I really didn't know if what I was doing was help anyone was asking for. Make sense?"

For as much of a rambling mess his words were, it made total sense and I understood exactly what he was saying. So I replied, "Yes no problem Zig, I get you. I know what you're saying."

He continued, "I was out for a beer one night and saw Sam and some guy in the corner. It was clear that something was going on. They left and curiosity got the best of me and I went outside. I saw them get in a car and, well they didn't drive away real quick you know if you understand me. And the windows got really steamy. And, well maybe I walked over towards the car and heard things." He stopped for a few seconds then continued, "I heard some rumors from other folks that had evidently seen her with this same guy. Dude I'm sorry. I assume you know all this and why you're calling."

I responded quickly, "Yes you pretty much nailed it. Can I tell you want I'm looking for?"

"Got paper and pen, whatcha need?" I listed off a couple things and then asked about her laptop. He said, "Hmm that's a little harder but I've got an idea. You good with getting a daily data dump of her emails from that machine?"

"Yep if you can get it, send it," I responded.

The day was wearing me out. This was all a bit overwhelming. I decided to go to a bar and get a drink. I sat at the bar and the bartender came over. She had black hair and was sexy in an exotic sort of way. Again I mumbled to myself, "Jesus what the hell is with all these sexy women." I got a beer and a seven and seven and just sat there.

"So what's your story," the bartender asked.

"Want to guess?" I said semi-sarcastically.

She had an understanding look on her face and said, "I'm Nicky."

"Luke," I said with a little nod.

She sort of looked at me and said, "You know Luke. No one said life was easy. Did anyone ever tell you that? No no one ever said that. All any of us can do is follow what we feel inside. That's our compass. All this 'I need to figure things out' is bullshit. Feel it and follow it. Simple. So whatever you have going on, you can get all the information and whatever, but at the end you just have to feel it inside. At some point something will feel natural to you. That will be the right thing. Don't think about if it's hard or whatever."

She continued, "Fuck that. Living with something that isn't who you are is tougher in the long run. You can do the hard painful thing now, or let the pain trickle into your life over time. Pay me now pay me latter type of thing. So this woman, I'm assuming this is a love thing. So this woman is causing you pain for some reason. She either wants to be with you or she doesn't. She either wants to make you happy or she doesn't. Words don't matter. It's the feeling you get from being around her. Do you feel like it will be ok, or not? Follow that."

I just looked at her, "You know Nicky, you're really damn smart for just being a sexy bar tender." I gave her a big smile, downed my drinks and put a $20 on the bar. "Thank you. What you said is helpful."

"Take care Luke. And I'm here everyday except Saturdays."

I headed home and decided to just get my head ready for going out with Sam that night. At 4pm I heard her car in the drive. Shit she's going to wonder why I'm home I thought. The door opened and she yelled, "Home!"

"In the back lounging," I replied as usual.

She came in, "You ok? Why are you home early?"

"Phil said to take off since I had put in all those extra hours for the annual budget."

She smiled and sat next to me saying, "I'm going to hang with you for a minute." She held my arm and put her head on my shoulder.

We just sat there relaxing together. It reminded me off all the times we've done this before. One thing that didn't make sense for me was that I couldn't point to a period in our marriage that was really bad. We always got along like this and it wasn't like there was a period where sex was nonexistent.

We sat for a bit and before long the kids came home. When they did Sam yelled, "Hey guys. We're taking you to Grandma and Grandpa tonight. Dad and I are going on a late night date."