The Vengeful Christmas Gift

Sam came back down and I could tell she had been crying. I got her a plate and she sat quiet for a few minutes. After I gave her her plate I kissed her. I leaned over and whispered, "The turkey's great and all but you still have the best breasts at the table." She let out a loud laugh and smacked my leg.

Everyone looked at us like we were nuts. Sam still had a smile and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I had to say something, "I love making you laugh." After that she was much more relaxed looking.

The rest of the day went off well and everyone had a good time. We played games at the dining room table and everyone nibbled on leftovers until bedtime.

Sam was already in bed and I climbed in. She just watched me almost like she expected me so say something. "A good day I think," I said to her. She nodded. I moved over by her and said, "Any chance I can see those breasts?" She giggled and unbuttoned her top. We ended up making love several times that night.

It was Black Friday and we put up the outside decorations and ran some errands. I looked at some video from the day and saw that Sam cried numerous times during the day.

I found myself watching everything about Sam. I paid close attention to what she said, the expression on her face, the tone in her voice, her body language. I was obsessed with her. At times I thought that this wasn't sustainable. I would go insane if I did this for long. I hadn't yet decided exactly how and when I was going to end this spying and everything. At some point either Sam was going to come forward or I would confront her. I needed to decide how I would do that when the time came.

It was a pretty normal Saturday morning. The kids had some activities going on. Sam and I sat at the kitchen table plotting out the day. I was looking down at a text from my Mom and when I looked up Sam was staring at me with a tear in her eye. She had the most loving look on her face and I asked her, "Sam, what is it? Are you ok?"

Do you know how you can feel the look on your own face sometimes and you know exactly what your expression looks like? I felt that. I was certain that the look on my own face was one of concern and love. She smiled a little and said, "There's something I need to tell you." She paused and took a deep breath.

I thought this is it. She's going to tell me. As she sat there I found myself thinking to myself, "Come on. God damn it Sam tell me. You can do it Sam. Please fucking tell me." My heart raced and I began to pray please God help her tell me.

A few tears ran down her face and I could see her hand shaking from nerves. I wanted to go hug her so badly but thought I needed her to do this with as little support as possible. I needed her to step up to what she did and take the risk. I keep praying.

"I," she stammered. Then she seemed to relax, "It's nothing. I, It's nothing" and she got up and said she needed to get something in the basement and went downstairs. I sat there deflated. She got so close. Why did she stop? It was progress and I took some optimism away from that.

I wondered what she was doing in the basement and grabbed my laptop. Luckily it booted up quick and I check the basement camera. Sam was sitting on a couch sobbing. She was sitting in with her legs tucked up to her chin and was rocking backwards and forwards. She was almost in a fetal position. Part of me felt terrible for her and part of me felt like she deserved to feel bad like I felt.

Closing up the laptop I waited for her to come back upstairs. I decided to go get dressed like normal to take the stress out of the situation. I also decided to say something else to Sam that maybe was helping her more than I intended when I first decided to give her a secret chance to redeem herself.

When she got back to the kitchen her eyes were red and swollen. There was no hiding that she was crying and she had to know it was obvious. I walked over to her and offered, "I tell you what. I'm going to make sure the rest of your day is good ok?"

Her face went from a very sullen look to a smile. I then added, "I'm always here to listen to whatever it is you have to say. If you need to talk. I'll always be a willing listener. Always."

She gave me a big hug, "I love you. The older I get the more I see what an amazing man you are and how lucky I am." She looked up at me with big eyes that now didn't look as sad. I brushed her hair from her face. Given what I knew and the circumstances I didn't know what to say. While I decided to not be cold to her I also didn't want to be too nice and let her think everything was ok and that she could keep her secret. It was a hard balance and I was glad I had talked to Jill Cushman for advice.

I smacked Sam's ass and said, "Go get ready we've got a busy day." She was really smiling and almost looked like she was floating on air as she left the kitchen.

The daily reports of her phone activity kept coming in. They were interesting only in the lack of activity. Trent would text her but her responses were very infrequent. One exchange made me really take notice. I read it riveted to the laptop screen.

Trent started with, "Hey sexy. What do you think about getting together this Thursday afternoon for some fun? I miss you and want to kiss your body from head to toe. Of course I'll kiss some parts much more than other parts! What do you say?"

Sam responded with, "Hey. My week is hectic. I don't think so. Sorry."

Trent kept trying, "Well what about an hour? Can you carve even a little time out for me? It's been too long since I've seen you. What do you think?"

Sam then drew a line in the sand with a pretty direct response to his pressure, "Trent. I need to figure some things out. I need you to give me some space. I'm sorry I'm saying this on a text and not in person. But I needed to say this and not put it off any longer. I have some soul searching to do. Please support me on this will you?"

I stopped there and just read this over and over. It was like she was breaking up with him.

"Ok Sam. I understand and will give you some time to work through whatever it is. I love you and you know how much I want you in my life."

Sam closed the conversation with, "I appreciate that. I've got to run. Talk to you later."

No I love you, no miss you, nothing tender just all business. I sat there and could feel a smile on my face. At that moment Sam walked into the family room and asked, "What are you so happy about?" I sat there stunned for a second.

"Oh, " I tried to quickly make up something, "I, umm, I thought of a great Christmas gift for Carly."

"What is it?" Sam asked. Fuck that was a shitty lie by me I thought. Now what.

At that moment somehow someway an idea came to me. "She said she wanted a backpack for school and I found one that comes as a set that attaches to a larger backpack that can be an airplane carryon."

"That's a great idea!" Sam exclaimed, "Did you order it yet?"

Still back on my heels trying to lie my way through this "No I'll do that later," and I closed the laptop. Disaster adverted barely.

A few days later I was at work and got a text from Matt, "Sam is going to the storage unit. Will let you know what we see." I thought that's odd and a little upsetting. Why would she go there? I waited what felt like hours. Eventually I got a message. "Wife cleaned out storage unit. Took bags of clothes to Goodwill. Threw a couple boxes in trash at Storage facility, took one box home. Turned in storage unit key at office. Video shows her putting contents in bookshelf cupboards in home office."

"Wow," I said to myself. I wondered what she kept and what she pitched. I was a little conflicted about her getting rid of 'evidence'. But she didn't get rid of everything and this was another indicator of her detaching from Trent. Similar to the recent text exchange I saw that as a positive.

It was now December and Christmas was approaching fast. I had talked to the jeweler and that was on track. I had also ordered everyone gifts that would set in motion and hard line in the sand for Sam. I had debated this part of my plan and talked to Jill about it a couple times. It made her nervous but she understood my rational for it. Part of me felt like a bastard for coming up with the idea, but part of me felt that it was necessary. I could always decide at the last second to not give each family member the gift.

Sam continued to be attentive to me and our relationship. Nothing she did felt forced or anything other than genuine. I never felt like she was trying to play me or pull something over on me. It all appeared to be a true interest in me and our marriage. It was reassuring.

One night I decided I needed to look at all the videos. I went though them one by one. It didn't take long to get numb to what she did. It was almost like I was watching a person I didn't know. Most were just her and Trent. It looked like he brought his friend Jeff with him one or twice a year for a threesome. There were also a couple that had a girl named Lisa. I watched Sam lick her and she seemed to enjoy it. Lisa licked Sam's pussy and brought her to orgasm several times. I hadn't really thought about it before but now wondered what I would have said to Sam if she asked me to have a threesome with another woman. While the idea was very sexy I wasn't sure I could touch anyone else. I just wanted Sam.

After getting done watching them I was a little depressed. I knew I had to confront what was in the video for my own mental health, but I hoped it didn't weigh too much in my decision on what to do with Sam. Only time would tell on that. I did still take a lot of comfort in how Sam was in the recent past. The newest sex video was over two years old.

The next day I was in the kitchen thinking about the videos. Sam came in and walked over to me and gave me a hug and greeted me with, "Ummm, You're comfy to hug." It was almost like she knew that I needed her to show her affection for me.

I decided to try to smooth over my feelings from the videos and responded with, "Hey I have an idea." She looked at me waiting to hear what I was going to say next. "How about we each take the day off and go antique shopping. Just play hooky and fuck around all day?"

Her eyes brightened, "Yes!" She had an enthusiastic look on her face. A day together of doing nothing would be a good cure for how I was feeling which was needed.

The day ended up being a lot of fun. We went to the big antique mall in the area and spent time there looking through all kinds of crazy items. It was like looking at the memories of other people. We joked about some of the stuff and who the hell bought some of these things in the first place. The shopping trip was light hearted until we walked into on section that had a bunch of nautical items. Sam was in front of me and I think we saw something at the same moment. I felt my heart skip a beat and I could see Sam flinch and her body physically react. There was an old picture frame, Gary G's Lobsta Fishing Tours. Bar Harbor Maine.

Sam turned around immediately and was white as a ghost. She was so stressed that she let out a yelp when she turned into me. She was obviously extremely flustered and said, "I didn't know were there and you scared me!"

Without really thinking I defused the situation with a quick, "What a dork!" then leaned in and kissed her. I looked at her and said, "It's ok, I understand," and grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the nautical section.

I don't know if she realized what I said and wondered why I would say what I did. But clearly the sight of that picture frame was very unwelcome to her. She was a little jumpy after that and I tried to joke with her to put her at ease. It took awhile but I eventually did.

We went and had lunch and then ran some more errands on our way back home. The rest of the day was pretty normal. When we got home we made dinner and then Sam retreated to the family room. She was channel surfing and landed on the Hallmark channel. She started watching one of their Christmas movies and I sat next to her.

As the story unfolded I thought about how unrealistic they are. I looked at Sam's face as she watched it. She was clearly into the story line. A question came to mind for me, "Why do you like these movies so much?"

Without hesitation she said, "I love how true love always wins in the end. It is a happy thing to see." She turned and looked at me with an innocence and honesty in her eyes. She certainly didn't look like a woman who had deceived for over ten years.

I hadn't responded to her which she seemed to want so she followed up with, "You don't like these chick flicks?"

I shrugged, "It's not that exactly. I like that people who truly love each other end up together. I guess it's that I think sometimes the hurdles that come up in real life take more than just love to handle. They take courage to show how you love someone." The look on her face told me that she seemed to understand what I said in the way I meant it for what was really the case in our marriage.

She looked down for a second and then back at the TV. I could see a tear in her eye. "I agree. I guess sometimes a person needs to build up the courage and that can be hard and may take time. But in the end."

I interjected, "But in the end love wins if people have the courage to take the chance." She smiled at me and her eyes softened. I leaned over and kissed her. I brushed her hair away from her eyes.

"I'm going to turn in. I'm beat and tomorrow is Christmas Eve. We'll be busy." She nodded eagerly like a little child.

"Love you," she whispered.

"Love you to beautiful," I replied.

When I got upstairs I opened the laptop and looked at the family room camera. Sam had her head buried in her hands and was clearly sobbing. I knew what the next two days had in store. They wouldn't be any easier. I knew that I would need courage and would have to control my emotions. I prayed that it would all be ok in the end. I just knew that things were about to change dramatically for us.

The morning started with some running around. I went to the grocery store once I had breakfast. Sam and I had made the shopping list and I wanted to get in and out of the store before it got crazy.

Since it was Christmas eve we had the usual planned. Spend it at home having a nice dinner and watching movies. Sam and I worked together on dinner like we frequently did. She was in a good mood given that earlier in the day she spent a while in our bedroom crying.

As I walked past her I hit her in the ass. "You're cute," I said, and she smiled at me and her eyes sparkled. I stopped for a second and had the urge to help her with her secret second chance that was soon coming to an end. She looked at me waiting for me to say something.

I struggled for what to say, "I, I love you and want to always help you in life to be happy." As soon as I said it I realized it sounded dorky and strange. She instantly had a thoughtful look on her face. Not a confused look, a look of uncertainty on what to do. Maybe I was reading into her reaction, but that was my take on it.

We gathered everyone up and got them all seated. I came to the table and looked around to make sure we were all set. Carly looked at me and said, "Are you going to do another speech like at Thanksgiving?" For some reason I looked right at Sam. She looked down then back at me.

I was lost and froze for a second. I just thought I would make a little joke and said "Nah, if I said everything I wanted to the food would get cold."

"Thank God," Carly chirped.

My Dad following in with, "And we don't want that!". For some reason I wondered what Sam thought my comment meant.

After dinner Sam and I did a quick clean up of the table. We were quiet in the kitchen and then I heard a soft noise and recognized it was her sniffling. I made a point to go near her and saw she was teary eyed. "What's wrong?" I asked. She stood silent and looked down and then back at me.

"Nothing," She answered meekly.

"I've known you long enough to know that's not true," I replied with a soft smile.

At that moment I had a 'Hallmark movie' thought. I took a deep breath and said, "If there is ever anything you need to say to me, you can. You know that." She didn't react. She looked scared. Not of me, of the truth. "Come on the natives are getting restless," as I motioned towards the family room.

We got in and my Mom asked me what movie I wanted to watch between a few choices. I got to decide between Elf, White Christmas, and A Christmas Carole. "This is easy," I said, "A Christmas Carole."

"Ok then put it in!" she exclaimed.

Then Carly asked, "Why do you like that movie so much?"

This couldn't have been scripted any better. This was the perfect set up and I took the opportunity to heart. Maybe this was fate's way of choosing what the future held for me. "I love the story and the theme within it about redemption. That no matter how bad it looks or feels that there is always a chance to be redeemed from mistakes. It's never too late. We can always fix things if truly wanting to fix them is in our heart. Sometimes we just need to be inspired to redeem ourselves. Sometimes the inspiration will be unwanted and will scare us, like the ghosts in Christmas Carole. But if our heart is true to wanting to be redeemed, and we can show that, then anything is possible." I thought that was really pretty fucking good for being completely off the cuff.

I resisted looking directly at Sam so I didn't emphasize that these words were for her. I looked at Carly and asked, "Was that good? Can I be in a Hallmark movie?"

She giggled and said, "Yeah sure Dad. Ok it wasn't bad."

I tried to nonchalantly walk over to the couch next to Sam to sit down. After saying what I did there was no way I was going to let her be alone physically. I was sure her mind was racing with thoughts and that hopefully was causing enough turmoil and introspection within her. But I wanted her to know I was trying to support her. I wanted to open the door as wide as I could.

I could feel her eyes on me and as I sat I could tell her eyes were teary. I sat and grabbed her right hand to hold it. She instantly covered my right hand with her left. I looked at her and there were a few tears running down her face. I wiped them away. I again wanted to yell, "Goddamit tell me already!" I put my right hand on top of her left hand and gave her a little smile. She smiled back timidly. The movie had started and we then turned our attention to that.

After the movie we watched Elf which lightened the mood. After that everyone was wiped out. Sam sat on the couch quietly. I sat next to her. We held hands. She leaned her head over onto my shoulder. "I think the kids will be excited about their gifts tomorrow."

"Yes we got them some really nice stuff," she said quietly.

"Do you think Jon still believes in Santa?" I wondered out loud.

"I don't know. I don't think Carly and Noah have said anything to him. I think they like that since he still believes they get more gifts." I laughed. She picked her head up and smiled at me.

"I love when you laugh," She said with her eyes wide.

"I love when you make me laugh." I thought for a moment that in a handful of hours the world would be completely different than it was at this moment. I knew so many things would be different. I knew that our relationship right now at this moment would never exist again. I felt both hopeful and scared to death by that.

But for now I wanted to spend one last night in the marriage we had before that call from Lori Canfield. I wanted to forget the betrayal and lies. I wanted to just think of Sam as I saw her before. I wanted to trick myself into forgetting the past two months. I leaned over and kissed Sam passionately. I pushed her back and began unbuttoning her pajamas. She started to do my top as well and before long we were naked on the couch with our hands running all over each other.