The Very Best of Friends

"Well' I let you know about Thursday but I need to go," she said and walked to her car not daring to look back to see if he followed her. It was only when she got to her car that she realised he still stood where she had left him just watching from a distance. She drove past him as she exited the car park and noted the sad expression on his face.

She drove home feeling confused. She hadn't seen him since the divorce had been made final. She had no reason to see him until recently as she continued to prepare herself to make it to Justin's wedding. If Justin could have had just a normal wedding, none of this would be happening to her. Not her relationship with Matt and not her confusion about Michael and what he was saying about missing her. He was probably just talking in terms of friendship, but it disturbed her none-the-less.

She drove home only half concentrating on the road as she thought about the way her life had been turned upside down in the last two months. She pulled up at her little bungalow noting that Matt was home already. She was surprised she had thought he would have still been working.

She went inside and threw her bag on the bed. The two drinks and anxiousness of seeing Michael tonight had made her tired. She just wanted to have a shower and curl up on the couch with some mindless television to take her mind off the strange evening.

"Hi!" she called out from the bedroom. "How was your day?" she asked as she began stripping off her work clothes.

"Hey," he said coming to the bedroom door to watch her undress. "I made dinner for us."

"You did? Thank you that's wonderful," she said. "I didn't feel like cooking tonight. Do I have time for a quick shower?"

"Why do you need a shower?" he frowned at her. It had bothered him all day that she had been out with another man tonight, and he worried that she may have been closer to this Dave than she had led him to believe. She was beautiful inside and out, and he had no doubt that her ex-husband was a threat to their relationship and those concerns now bubbled to the surface after her meeting with her ex-brother-in-law.

"It's been a long day," she said tiredly. "It's okay I can shower after dinner," she said hearing the strange tone in his voice. She reached for her robe feeling a slight chill in the air and deciding to wait until after her shower to redress.

"I thought this was nude week," he eyed the robe she had picked up.

"I thought you were going to join me," she teased wondering what he was acting so strangely tonight.

"Much better idea," he gave her a first smile of the evening. Dropping his shorts without hesitation, he pulled off his shirt and went to take the robe she still held from her hand wrapping her in a strong embrace. "I missed you tonight."

For the second time that night she had deja vu and wondered if she was dating a younger version of Michael. They walked to the other end of the bungalow, and she saw that he had set the table with candles glowing brightly despite the light coming from the kitchen.

"Well this is a surprise," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't realise, or I would have come home sooner. Are we celebrating something special?"

"Can't I just do something nice and romantic?" he asked.

"You always do sweet things for me, but this is the first candle lit dinner," she laughed lightly, stopping short of telling him that he was not a very romantic guy.

"How was your evening?" he asked changing the subject. "What did Dave want?"

"Just to catch up, I think. It's been a while since we've seen each other," she said easily, unsure of whether to mention Michael's arrival or not but deciding honesty was the best policy in relationships. "We were talking about the family and what people were up to when Michael showed up."

"I thought you were just meeting Dave," Matt looked at her as if she had lied to him.

"That's what I thought too. The bar we met at is where a lot of the company people go after work for a drink and Michael happened to show up tonight. I didn't know he would be there," she said suddenly defensive.

"So you go and see your ex and a week later your all cosy and having drinks with him?" Matt asked his tone becoming accusatory. He didn't like where this was going and coupled with her moodiness and asking if he was happy he knew something was going on.

"Firstly I didn't know he would be there and secondly even if I did know I probably still would have gone because I want us to have some sort of relationship again. Not an intimate relationship but at least a friendship. Secondly, we were married for twenty years, and we have a child together. He's always going to be part of my life whether I like it or not and it will be much easier if we are friends," she tried to explain. "I don't know why you're acting like I'm cheating on you or something."

"I never said that," he argued back thinking it was probably going to happen. "You haven't even seen him for three years, now that you're looking great again he's suddenly showing up to have drinks with you? That's a bit convenient isn't it?" He objected. He was having trouble hiding his anger at her for being so naïve. She was hotter than ever, and he'd be a fool not to want her back.

He'd been here before. He'd fallen hard for another woman who had been separated for almost a year. He hadn't realised that she was only using him to make her husband jealous and win him back. He wondered if this was why she had finally asked him to go with her to the wedding. His anger let the feeling of being used grow in his mind.

"You sound jealous," she accused. "I have no interest in being cosy with Michael. "That bridge was burnt and torn down by some really ugly scenes and words. I don't hate him, but I am not stupid. Like I said you can't go backwards only forwards in this life."

"When did you say that?" he frowned at her making her realise she had said that to Michael, not Matt.

"It's one of the things I say all the time, like a mantra almost," she shrugged. "You must have heard me say it at least once in the time we've been together. That's not the point here. I put up with gorgeous women like Carla throwing themselves at you day after day, and I deal with it because I trust you. You need to show me the same sort of trust."

"That's hardly the same thing. As you pointed out, you were married to the man for a long time and had a child with him. That bonds you on a much deeper level where feelings are always on the surface." Matt continued to argue.

"Is that why you come home early and made dinner for me? You worried about me seeing Michael again?" Joanna was trying to work out why he was so angry. "I don't care what he thinks of my relationship. I invited you to that wedding didn't I?"

"You haven't seen him for three years and all of a sudden with the wedding looming you see him twice in a week?" He said angrily. "I've been here before. My ex used me to get back together with her husband after they separated. I don't want to go through that again. I can't believe you would do this to me." His voice became hard and accusatory. "You've just used me to make yourself look more desirable to him. Make him jealous and feel bad about how he treated you and I fell for it. Again!" he raged finally losing control of his emotions.

"You haven't listened to me at all! I haven't done anything wrong. You're the one who pursued me not the other way around in case you've forgotten. We've been together two months, I had twenty years with Michael, you can't seriously think I would never see him ever again. Our son's getting married and what if they decide to adopt kids. I can guarantee Michael and I will see a lot of each other then," she shook her head becoming mad that he was so judgemental of her and her motives for wanting a friendship with her ex-husband. "I don't love him or want him back. You are being unreasonable!"

"This is bullshit!" he shouted. "I never thought you would do this to me. I should have fucking known when you wouldn't help me with that cycle shop thing and then it was too late." He gave her a disgusted look. "Well, you can forget about trotting me out to show off at the wedding because this is over!"

"Well you got something right tonight," she stood up and left the table going into her room and slamming the door behind her. She couldn't believe what he was accusing her of. She wouldn't ever use him in such a way. She could hear him banging things around in the kitchen, but she wasn't ready to talk to him again and be the bigger person, getting him to calm down and stay with her. She wasn't some loved starved, abused woman who was grateful that he gave her affection. She walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

She stood under the hot water for a long time going over their argument in her mind. She realised he must have been very hurt by a woman who had used him in such a way, but that was no reason to accuse her of the same thing. She realised just how little they knew each other. She was calm again by the time she got out of the shower, and she walked out into the bungalow planning on talking to him rationally so they could sort this out.

He wasn't there she realised after a quick search. She peeked out of her bedroom window and found his car was gone too. Saddened that he had taken off rather than cool down and talk to her reasonably, she went to bed and lay there thinking about what a mess her life had become.

*****

Matt had been in the house during the following day. She noted that his gear had disappeared from where he normally kept it. She didn't go to boot camp because she felt awkward after he hadn't called her when she had left a message for him and several texts. After two days of silence from him, she went to her boss and claimed a family emergency then using Michaels willingness to indulge their new friendship she organised to fly up to Cairns a week early to spend some time with Justin and help with any wedding plans. Before leaving she sent Matt an email explaining how sad she was that he had not returned her calls and that she had gone to Cairns early to help her son with the wedding plans.

Feeling frustrated she added a side note that she would have her phone if he grew up enough to talk to her reasonably without accusing her of cheating on him when she had done nothing wrong. She knew it was immature, but she couldn't believe they had broken up over something that had only happened in his mind not reality.

In the last two days, she had missed him and all of the ways he made her feel good about herself, but she had also not been so upset that she couldn't enjoy being able to do what she wanted when she wanted again. The night before she left she sat on her back patio sharing a bottle of wine with Melanie and talking through how she felt about everything that had happened in the last week.

Melanie had told the girls that Joanna wasn't well and then that she had decided to go up north early for a bit of a holiday before the wedding, and that's why they hadn't seen her at boot camp. Matt, grateful for the lack of fallout from the breakup, had gone along with the story that Melanie had come up with to protect her best friend.

"So you're not entertaining the idea of getting involved with Michael again? Even if he crawls on his knees and begs you to give him a second chance?" Melanie asked sceptically.

"No, what we had is gone. I would always be waiting for him to find something new and shiny to play with. Even if it wasn't another woman, there would be something else to distract him and hold his attention. I couldn't live like that again, waiting for the other shoe to drop," she said sadly. "I want us to be friends and be able to talk about Justin and grandchildren if we ever have any."

"Well that's a relief," Melanie said. "And Matt? Just a long overdue rebound guy?"

"I don't know about that," Joanna laughed. "I cared about him, a lot, but we never had that dating time to get to know each other, we got together and practically lived together within a week. We were making it work based on good sex and endorphins rather than a real relationship where we got to know each other on a deeper level," she explained. "He never told me he had hang ups about ex-husbands, and I never told him that I didn't like certain things that came up either. I feel like I compromised with all the things that bothered me and the first time he came to a road block he gave up. He won't return my calls, and I'm not some love-starved woman who will chase after him and make a scene in public."

"So it's over?" Melanie asked carefully.

"I think we need to talk but if I am honest, yes. It's over. I don't think I was ever in it for the long haul. We just came from totally different places in our lives," Joanna said thoughtfully. "I guess the fact that he won't even talk to me now proves that point. It was such a stupid argument but at the end of the day Michael will always be part of my life in some way, and if I ever date again, which is highly unlikely, they will have to understand that."

"You don't think you'll date again?" Melanie frowned at her friend.

"It was fun with Matt, but I'm not cut out for a relationship based on sex alone. I need more I need someone who likes romance and tender moments as much as sex," she sighed. "Matt's a wonderful guy, he considerate and he tries to do the things he thinks I like but if I just wanted a cuddle or a quick kiss it immediately escalated. Like he couldn't just have a moment or understand that my cuddle was not an invitation to screw me. The whole time we were together I never saw a whole movie from beginning to end."

"No wonder you're looking so healthy at the moment. Just remember without all that bedroom exercise you'll have to keep up with the fitness side of things on your own if you want to keep this super-hot new body of yours. Not that I mind, your old body looked pretty good to me too," Melanie said with a smile.

"That's what I need, someone like you who can just accept me the way I am warts and all," she laughed. "We should just become a couple and live happily ever after," she joked.

"Okay," Melanie said. "Let's give up on the male race and see. We live together for a week out of every month, anyway, and I'll admit I've been curious about women for a while now." She said it so matter-of-factly that Joanna did a double take. "You've never considered another woman you knew was a lesbian and wondered what it would be like?" Melanie asked, refilling their wine glasses, not wanting to scare her friend by admitting she'd been curious about her for a while now.

"Maybe but I never considered it as a reality," she looked at her friend and wondered if she was serious or if she was teasing to gauge her reaction to the idea of lesbianism.

"Maybe we should because neither of our choices in men have been great and let's face it we love each other already. The only thing missing from our relationship is the sex part. We've loved each other for over thirty years maybe it's time to accept we will never find a man that will love us the way we need to love." Melanie said. "People expect us to show up together where ever we go already so if the sex is good what more do we need?"

"Have you ever been with a woman?" Joanna asked nervously not believing she was seriously having this conversation.

"There was a night when I was really drunk that I think I might have, but I don't remember enough about it, and men were involved too, so it doesn't count," she laughed drinking more wine. "If it doesn't feel good, we can stop and blame the wine for a ludicrous idea, and you can go off to Cairns tomorrow as if nothing ever happened."

"And if it's good?" Joanna asked laughing with her.

"Then I come to Cairns with you tomorrow, and we spend a week getting to know each other in a whole new way," she grinned. "Like a honeymoon after the wedding night."

"You're serious aren't you?" Joanna said sobering slightly.

"As a heart attack," Melanie looked at her and nodded. "I've been thinking about it for a while but thought you weren't ready to hear it. Maybe now that you've been with someone else and can let go of the past with Michael..."

"You have?" Joanna was not just surprised she was stunned as she took in what Melanie was saying without the confusion of whether she was teasing her or not. Melanie stood and dragged her chair closer to Joanna's.

"Look, you're hot as fuck at the moment, and I can admit that I have been seriously thinking about this since my last break up. I know you, I love you, and I can't think of anyone else in the world that I would rather share my life with," she paused watching Joanna face. "We already share so much why not take it that one step further?" Melanie asked reasonably leaning closer to Joanna.

Joanna didn't know what to say. They'd drunk a lot of wine and had talked about so much that what Melanie was saying just seemed so logical to her at that moment. She had doubts about how they would feel come tomorrow, but as her friend leaned closer, Joanna reached up and touched her cheek moving the rest of the way to her and kissed her lightly. They pulled apart a little way and Melanie licked her lips as if savouring the taste.

"Different, softer, nice. I'd like to do that again," she grinned. Then she leaned forward and kissed Joanna lengthening the kiss and parting her lips to snake her tongue out over her friend's lips and humming softly as she felt Joanna reciprocate their tongues tentatively touching then dancing together in a slow sensuous way. It was a long time before they parted again, breathless and smiling at each other.

"I want this," Melanie said huskily, "I think you do too," her smile widened. She reached out and held Joanna's hand, picking up her wine and sipping at it as she waited for her friend to speak.

"You're a good kisser," Joanna said picking up her wine and enjoying the feel of the soft hand in her own. "I've never even considered something like this before but now I'm wondering what else you're good at," she giggled nervously and blushed brightly.

"I can kiss other places just as well," Melanie almost purred at the invitation and leaned forward to kiss her again. "Maybe we could take our wine inside and find out just how good that might feel?"

They stood and took their wine into the living room sitting on the couch facing each other. Melanie watched Joanna for a few moments the smile on her face showing in her eyes as she looked at the friend she had loved for so long. She had been in relationships with men like the good woman she had been brought up to be, but as she grew older, her thoughts had turned more and more towards the women in her life.

She'd never been brave enough to admit her feelings to anyone or share her interest in lesbian erotica despite talking to Joanna about everything. She had resigned herself to remaining in the closet with her fantasies. But now, made brave by the alcohol and circumstance all she wanted to do was make her best friend her lover.

"What?" Joanna asked suddenly self-conscious under Melanie's heated gaze.

"I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life. You get me. I don't know whether to blame the wine or the circumstances for you being here like this, willing to see what happens next, but I don't care. I want this so badly. I thought it would never happen, and I would be left longing and wishing I was brave enough to tell you how I felt," Melanie said quietly inching closer to Joanna and reaching out to run her fingers over Joanna's cheek and neck. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I am too," she smiled shyly. "I love you as my friend, and I'm scared that this will change things," she whispered feeling Melanie's hand drift over her shoulder to her chest.

"Just relax," Melanie murmured leaning towards her to kiss her. "Everything will be wonderful." She pressed her lips to Joanna and felt the other woman relax and give in to the feeling of the soft lips against hers. The kissed deepened as she moved her hands underneath Joanna's shirt to caress her breasts and was pleasantly surprised not to find a bra.