There Goes the Neighnorhood

"The past few weeks have been hard on all of us. We can't keep going this way. You're not happy Iris and neither am I. Sometimes things just don't go the way we want them to so it becomes necessary to start again."

She started crying then and for the first time in weeks, I took her hand. I got up and went around to her side of the table and hugged her.

"You want a divorce don't you?" she asked. I nodded. "But, we're going through counseling to help us fix this," she said.

"We both know that the counseling is a waste of both time and money," I said. "The cut was simply too deep. This was never something that we could heal with a band aid."

"B...but you love me," she said. "You love me so much..."

"And that was a part of the problem," I said. "I loved you so much that I put all of my faith in you. So when you failed, when you cheated, it pretty much destroyed my faith in us. If I'd loved you less, we might've survived this. If I'd thought of you, like Jay and Bart think of their wives, as just someone to live with and have sex with, it would be easier to get over."

"But Jay loves Aubrey," she said.

"No Iris. Jay thinks he owns Aubrey. She's a possession to him. Like his Camaro. She's something beautiful that he can show off to make himself seem cool. But just like his car, she isn't his anymore."

"So what do we do?" she asked.

"We divide everything 50/50," I said. "And we try to stay friends."

"Why would we do that?" she asked.

"Iris, I still love you. I can't turn that off this quickly. Aubrey had a year of constant humiliation from Jay to do it. I really do still love you."

"Then why can't we stay together?" she asked.

"It won't work because the trust is all gone, Iris. After I caught you, it really damaged us. But you didn't stop even then. You gave him a blow job after promising me it was over. Love is a great thing. But, it's trust and faith in each other that keeps people together."

"But we can get that back," she said. "I know we can. I'll just wear one of those ankle bracelets that they put on the guys who are on parole. I'll never leave the house. We can buy new locks so I can't leave when you're not there and no one can get in."

I just shook my head. "That isn't trust, Iris," I told her. "That would be more like you becoming a prisoner and me being a warden. I couldn't live like that and you couldn't either. Eventually we'd come to hate each other."

"But I don't want to lose you," she said.

"Iris, you already have. But at least this way, we're being honest with each other and that's the way we start rebuilding the trust. It will take some time but eventually we may become friends again. And who knows what might happen in the future."

"What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"Well, I think you're going to need an attorney," I said. "We live in a community property state. More than likely we'll split everything 50/50. We'll have to sell the house and divide the proceeds. We may as well face it. Neither of us needs a house this big. Plus all of your friends are gone. Wally burned his house down. He and Deb are divorced. I guess you could say that they took Bart and Kristy with them. Last I heard; they're getting a divorce too."

Iris shook her head. "Jay is going to lose his house too," I said. "I'm sure that he and Aubrey will end up divorced too."

"I guess you fucked away four marriages," I said. I shrugged my shoulders and looked at her sheepishly as I told her, "There goes the neighborhood."

Iris looked at me with horror all over her face. I think what we'd just talked about had made her realize the consequences of her selfish actions. She and her playmates had destroyed four families and changed the lives of ten people. Eight were adults, but two children's lives would be affected as well. Hopefully, the changes the realization brought would be good ones. Though I'd tried to leave her some hope, I knew that we would never be together again.

I'd given her the little lie about us staying friends and who knows about the future to give her hope that we had a chance someday for two reasons. The first was because I was tired of hurting people over this. The second was because the most dangerous opponent is one who has no hope. As long as she thought that there was a chance for us, Iris would behave far more rationally in the divorce.

"I thought that Jay and Aubrey were back together at least," said Iris. "I doubt that after getting back together so short a period of time ago, that she'd leave him. It would be especially hard to leave him since he's hurt. Besides, he's perfect for her now. She's a dead fuck and he's dead from the waist down. I'd call that a match made in hell. They'll probably be the one couple that survives this." She laughed an ugly laugh that really didn't become her.

"I'm going to see Jay at the hospital," I told her. "I have to tell him about the deal I worked out for him."

"I thought you hated him," she said. "Why help him? He destroyed our marriage." She looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Iris, he didn't do it alone. You're a grown woman with freedom of choice. All you had to do was say no. Should I try to leave you penniless in the divorce? I'm tired of being angry at everyone. I just want to move on and see what life has for me. This is over."

I went next door to see Aubrey. Kristy was packing some of the kid's clothes. They still didn't have very much yet. They had the money for their house already but it wasn't going to go far since they both had to pay lawyers. They also had to find two new residences instead of one.

She smiled at me as I entered the room. "Hey handsome," she said. "Got time for a..."

"Kristy, he isn't here to see you," said Aubrey from the top of the stairs. The tone of her voice was very sad and she seemed tired.

I held out my hand and she came down the stairs and took it. On the way to the hospital I asked her what was wrong.

"You were wrong, Honey," she said. "I told you we weren't being too hard on that bastard. He refuses to give me a divorce. He says that we'll be together until one of us dies. He gave me that bullshit about "till death do us part."

I laughed out loud and almost lost control of the car. "So," I said. I told her about my conversation with Iris and she started crying.

"I'm glad that my misery makes you happy," she said. "You'll be free of that bitch soon, while I'm going to be stuck with a man who doesn't love me. He thinks I'm one of his toys or some kind of fucking trophy."

"So," I said again. "Aubrey, Jay can't stop you from divorcing him. The law doesn't work like that. All he can hope to do is delay it. If worse comes to pass, you can just leave. Just walk out on him. Life is way too short to be miserable."

She pouted and looked at me. "But I had plans," she said. "There's this guy that I wanted to be with. And he's kind of stuck on all of that doing the right thing stuff. I can't imagine him wanting to be with a married woman."

"I think that the guy you want to be with loves you enough to take you in any way shape or form you came in," I said. I was rewarded with the biggest, happiest smile I'd ever seen.

At the hospital, I sat on Jay's bed. I explained to him that the bank was indeed going to foreclose on his property. He was totally correct about the way this would go down. He needed to come up with the entire balance of his mortgage, roughly ninety thousand dollar in two days. The worst part was that in this rough housing market, his house would probably only sell for sixty thousand. He was way under water.

If the bank foreclosed it would also destroy his credit rating. He didn't have a 401K or any savings. He was living pretty much paycheck to paycheck. In two days, he'd be homeless and broke. I told him that I'd found a buyer for his house. The buyer I had would pay off the bank and also give him twenty grand in cash. It wasn't much but it was the best I could do.

He looked at me as if I had saved him from a fate worse than death.

"Did you hear that Honey?" He said to Aubrey. "Barry has pulled my ass out of the fire. Now all we have to do is find another place to live. I'll be in the hospital for another couple of weeks so you're going to have to do a lot of the work."

"I've told you before not to call me Honey or Sweetie or any of that shit," she snapped. "I'll help you in exchange for you giving me my divorce. Other than that I have nothing to say to you. You cheated on me for over a year. I'm sorry but I can't forget that or forgive you for it. Jay, you need to let me go."

"Never," he said. "Every time you try to go to court, I'll go into the hospital. I'm seriously injured, you know. I'm handicapped. No one will look favorably on a woman who deserts her husband when he's hospitalized. You may as well get used to it. You'll forgive me eventually." She just turned and left the room slamming the door behind her.

"Sorry you had to see that, Barry," he said. "You see. That bitch is worthless. She's lucky I love her. I plucked her from a one horse town in Kansas because she's pretty. They barely had indoor plumbing. She was a fucking virgin and she's a lousy fuck. But she's mine God damn it. She'll be with me forever. Whether she wants to or not. But that's why our friendship is so important. Barry, when the chips are down, I can't count on her, but I could always count on you. I'm so glad we're friends again. Now all I have to do is get in touch with Bart and Wally. God damn it, we're putting the band back together."

"Actually we're not," I said. "We aren't friends anymore, Jay. I won't be there to save your ass anymore. You ruined my marriage and stabbed me in the back in the worst way I can think of. If that's the way you treat your friends, I don't want to be one of them. Iris and I are divorcing. You and I probably won't see each other again." With that I turned and followed Aubrey.

The next few days were busy ones for both Aubrey and me. She started looking for a house for the two of us, while I went to meetings to settle my divorce with Iris. Unfortunately, the lawyer she'd hired was out for blood. We both agreed to split our assets 50/50 but she wanted alimony. I explained to both her and her lawyers that I refused to pay her for destroying our marriage. The real reason was because I didn't want to be financially linked to her.

I was about to become rich and I saw no reason to share it with a woman who cheated on me. We finally agreed to split everything 50/50. I would also give Iris 40% of my 401K whenever I retired or cashed it out. Since there was only a few thousand dollars in it and I planned on cashing it out next week, she wouldn't get much. I would also give Iris $24,000 as a one-time payment instead of paying her a thousand dollars per month alimony.

This worked well for me. I moved half of our savings and checking accounts into a new account in my name. She'd receive a check for $44,000 since we only had $40,000 equity in our house so far. Then I'd be done with her.

Iris couldn't believe how quickly I sold the house. She didn't realize that it had been worked out before she and I ever talked about the divorce. When the dust settled I would receive a one-time payment of a quarter of a million dollars and receive 4% of the profits of the new upscale shopping mall that would be built where our neighborhood stood. With all of the properties secured, Ryan got some of his congressional buddies to re-zone the neighborhood as a commercial property. There goes the neighborhood.

Ryan had his construction crews working night and day. It took only six months to put the mall up. It's full of those frou-frou stores that sell designer everything. Everything is overpriced and has some famous jerk's name on it.

I couldn't believe the amount of money I get every month from that place. I'll be a millionaire in another year or so, even after the house that Aubrey and I bought. Yep Aubrey and I are still together and still very happy. Aubrey turned out to be just as hot in bed as she looked. Jay just never took the time to teach her. He never got her excited. Hell, he apparently never once licked her pussy. The only thing Jay showed Aubrey about sex was to spread her legs and just let him fuck her. He never showed her that sex could be pleasurable for her as well as for him. We spent hours together in bed learning what pleases each other.

Aubrey drags me to the bedroom every chance she gets now, even though she's very pregnant. And that brings us back to the present.

Jay has tried to contact me several times. I've never answered him. That is until last week. Last week I decided to try one more time for Aubrey. Jay invited me to a barbecue at his place. He apparently hasn't given up on his attempts to get the old group back together. After 18 months maybe it's time he got his wish.

Aubrey kissed me as she got into my new 2012 Mustang. We had to push the seat all the way back to allow room for her belly, but she'd be comfortable.

I programmed my GPS with Jay's new address and took off. Aubrey kissed me as we drove. She kisses me a lot nowadays.

I was really surprised when I got to Jay's address. It was a trailer park. And it wasn't very well kept up. I guess with only twenty grand this was all Jay could afford. I parked in the lot across from Jay's trailer. I left Aubrey in the car. I needed to find a way to break it to Jay easily that Aubrey and I were together.

I knocked on the door and expected to hear the sound of a wheelchair but I heard very heavy footsteps heading for the door. Wow, I thought medical science is great. I never expected the old horn dog to walk again.

When the door opened, I was shocked. It wasn't Jay who'd opened it. It was my ex-wife Iris. Her eyes got huge as she recognized me. "Oh my God," she said. "You look..."

Iris had never, as I've mentioned, been a small woman. But over the last year she'd ballooned. She had to weigh over three hundred pounds now. Her hair was lank and thinning. Even her huge breasts now seemed to have fallen to the point where they were below where her waist would have been. I was sure that someday soon she'd have to buy a wheelbarrow to cart them around in. Gravity, as well as time and unhappiness had taken their toll on her. It was hard seeing the beautiful woman that I'd loved for so long reduced to this. Okay, it wasn't that hard. But it was hard to see it and not laugh.

I smiled at her.

"Barry, are you ready? Is that why you've come? Are you ready to take me back?"

"Hey, Barry," I heard from the side if the house. Without answering Iris, I turned to see him. He wasn't in a wheelchair. He had one of those power chairs. He could actually get around on it pretty well.

I left the porch and walked quickly around to where Jay sat. Iris followed me. It appeared that her bulk made it difficult for her to walk.

"I knew you'd come," said Jay. "The rest of those assholes were never our friends anyway."

"So I'm the only one who came?" I asked. Iris nodded.

"Bart and Kristy are divorced," she said. "He moved east and she moved west. Wally is still in jail. Deb has already remarried. She doesn't want to relive the past. There are too many bad memories for her."

"And I can't find hide nor hair of that bitch I married," snapped Jay. "She just disappeared. Even Ma and Pa Kettle can't find her ass or they won't tell me where she is. They just laugh at me like it's fucking funny every time I call and ask about her."

"Speaking of wives," I said. "How did you two come to live together?" My face frowned even as I said it.

"We're not TOGETHER, together," said Iris. "It's more of a convenience thing. After I kind of blew the money I got in the divorce, I needed a place to stay. And Jay needs someone to help him out."

"You may as well be honest with him for once Iris," said Jay. "I'm rocking her world now."

I just smiled. Even after all of this time, Jay was still an arrogant asshole. He couldn't even walk, but he had to try and prove that he had something that someone else wanted. The thing that made it so sad was that he and Iris still having sex in some stunted fashion didn't bother me at all. He was welcome to her. I let it slide though, leaving him his pride.

"We're not having actual intercourse, Barry," said Iris nervously. "I'm saving that for you from now on." I had to try really hard not to throw up inside of my own mouth.

"I'm telling you the truth this time Honey," she said. "Jay can't uhm...he still has no feeling below the waist. He just uses his fingers on me. I DO have needs, you know?"

I nodded. "Iris, we all have needs," I said. "I glad you're getting yours met."

"Barry, I could take care of your needs, if you'd let me," she said quickly. "You know that you still come first with me. We can do it now."

"Iris, I don't have any needs that aren't being met," I said. "But I'm glad you have Jay."

"Barry, is that your car?" he asked. "Still driving the Stangs I see. That one looks heavily customized. Probably expensive wasn't it?" I shrugged.

"Barry, you look good. You look rich. You seem to be the only one of us from the old neighborhood who came out of this okay."

"Good things come to good people. What goes around comes around," I said.

"Barry, I've often wondered," said Jay. "There's a big ass shopping mall where the neighborhood used to be. It seems pretty coincidental that we all lost our homes just in time for that place to be built. Shit it was almost biblical."

"Jay, would you like to know what really happened back there?" I asked.

His eyes got bigger and he nodded his head. I could tell that he wanted to know badly. This had obviously been gnawing away at him. And I wanted to tell him badly. I wanted to tell both him and Iris but I couldn't.

I wasn't stupid enough to admit things that would put me and Aubrey in jail. I loved our life together. I was even happier than I'd been with Iris. I didn't begrudge Jay the shuffling mountain of flesh that my beautiful Iris had become. After all I'd gotten the better end of the deal.

So I held back my need to tell them how we'd fucked them over. I didn't rub it in their faces though I longed to.

"I'll tell you the whole story if you sign this," I said. I pulled out a set of papers that I'd had in my pocket just in case.

"Divorce papers," he spat. "When did you talk to Aubrey? Where is she?"

"I saw her this morning," I said. It wasn't a lie since I had seen her that morning.

"These papers claim that she deserted me," he said.

"Well it IS true isn't it?" I asked. "She ran off on you when you needed her most."

"That really is true," said Iris.

"She has no income," I said. "But she's living with a rich guy who'll give you $10,000 to sign the papers. You may as well Jay. She's never coming back to you anyway. You may as well get something out of it. In our state, the divorce will go through in another year whether you sign these or not. If you sign them, maybe I can arrange it so she has to bring you the check herself."

"You could do that?" he asked. I nodded my head. He grabbed the papers and was about to send Iris lumbering off to find a pen when I realized that I had one. I got Iris to sign as a witness.

"Okay Barry," snapped Jay. "That frigid little redneck bitch can have her fucking divorce. She was never a real woman to begin with. She was just eye candy."

"Barry, if you'd like, I'm free tonight," Iris gushed. "Maybe we can talk about us."

"Hold that thought, Iris," I said. "I have to go back to my car for something."

"Barry, you're supposed to be telling me about the mall," whined Jay. "And I have another question for you. Why is having those divorce papers so important to Aubrey? If she's already hooked some rich guy, why should she care?"

"Jay, I'll be right back," I said smiling.