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"What's the matter with my shape?"
"The outside is positively perfect; it's the inside I will change."
"I'm beginning not to like you."
"I believe I'm very good company. I hear you say that to your father a lot. I believe you even said that to Gordon."
"Isn't that little runt wonderful?"
"I don't want to talk about that little runt now. I want to know where you were going."
"I was going to my room."
"You were not even going to wait for me to answer you?"
"I thought you already did."
"No I just made a statement that said it would be extremely hard. I did not say it would be impossible. How many people have told us that building a starship is impossible, since the first day we mentioned it? How many more people will tell us it's impossible, until the day we leave the Earth's atmosphere and begin our journey to the stars? It's going to be very hard to do, but I will do it. However, you have to do one thing for me in return."
Hope was in her heart and in her mind when she uttered that word. "ANYTHING."
"Did I just hear you say the word 'ANYTHING?"
"Oh God I hate myself. Yes, I used that word."
"You have to move in with me."
"No, we are just asking for trouble if I do that Gray, and you know it."
"You set the terms for our continued relationship. I asked for one thing in return. Is it a yes or is it a no? Remember you used the word 'ANYTHING.'"
"They should remove that fucking word from the dictionary."
"That will be $10 please."
"Don't you start with me Gray."
"I was just reminding you of the Honor Code. Now answer my question is it yes or no. Are you moving in with me, or not? Remember, I am giving up sex for 10 months and sleeping in the same bed with a woman I want as dearly as the air I breathe. Are you willing to take a chance on me keeping my promise to you?"
"YES. I think you're out of your mind, but I am out of my mind in love with you. I don't know how my dad did without sex for all those years. Maybe that is why he is as smart as he is. All we have to do is wait 10 months. I know we can do it, I'm positive we can. I can teach you how to play chess properly."
"I play an excellent game of chess, thank you."
"How much would you like to bet you can't beat me?"
"Name your terms."
"$10 for each piece we take off the board?"
"You could take 14 of my pieces off the board, and I could put you in checkmate. I would win the game, and you would win the money. Where is the sense in that?"
"Okay, 10 kisses for each piece taken off the board."
"Anywhere?"
"No not anywhere, especially not there. You would drive me insane."
"If Rod had made that statement, what would your reply have been?"
Delicious thought for a second, then frowned at Gray. "Don't even think about that. It would be your last night on this planet alive. You have to sleep sometime, and once your eyes closed, they would never open again."
"I was just saying what you might do to Rod. I didn't say I would do it to you. I am much too smart to do anything that crazy."
"Do you want to help move some of my clothes into your room?"
"You do realize this is permanent; there is no turning back from this point."
"I told you, 'UP TO 10 YEARS.' I can end it sooner, but it will not be one day longer. Everything is re-negotiable."
"Who is going to be our negotiator?"
"Don't you worry about it; I will pick someone who is fair, honest, and who is on my side all the time."
"And if I object to this negotiator?"
"According to the terms of our agreement you can't object, remember?"
"Can I see that in writing please?"
"I will write the contract up for you first thing in the morning. Now are we going to move my clothes, or am I sleeping in my room tonight?"
"Miss from this day forward you no longer have a room, and neither do I. We share a room."
"What do you wear to bed Gray?"
"Just my pajama bottoms, that's all. Why do you ask?"
"I sleep naked. I wanted to know how randy that instrument of yours was going to be during the night."
"You bitch."
"That will be $10 please."
"You did that for me on purpose."
"Yes, I know. It worked perfectly."
"I am going to spank that behind of yours, until it glows bright red."
"I will put a surgical knife in my dresser drawer. The day you spank me, will be the day you become a eunuch."
Gray grabbed her hand, pulled her into the house, and up the stairs. When they entered her room he threw her onto her bed. He jumped in the air and pounced on her. His moved his hands up and down her sides, while he kissed her.
"Gray don't do that I'm ticklish."
"Is that what your father was talking about this afternoon?"
She did not answer him.
He moved his hand again along her flanks and she tried desperately to move away from it.
"Are you going to tell me, or am I going to find out the easy way?"
"Please don't tickle me. I go completely out of control when I am tickled. It was the same for my mother. Only my dad knew it, and he kept the secret from everyone else. If Julius had known about my mother weakness, he would've killed her by using it, and had me as a puppet."
"I promise never to spank you. When you are bad I will tickle you instead."
"I am going to buy a Taser. The night you tickle me I am going to attach the probes to your testicles and pull the trigger. I will definitely light up your life."
Gray kissed Delicious again. When he was finished her lips were puffy. He said to her, "We are going to have so much fun together. I am going to torment you, you are going to torment me, and we are going to be so much in love with each other, we are going to laugh about it."
"While you are lying on top of me, my clothes are still in my closet. Unless you are the 'Sorcerer's Apprentice', they are not going to move by themselves."
"Okay, let's divide and conquer. You take your closet, I'll take your panty drawer, and I'll meet you in our room."
"I bet you thought that was funny? You are the one that wants me in our room. I'm not going unless some of my clothes are there. Think about that for a little while before you make your next decision."
"The things a man will do to get a woman into his bed. Okay, come on 'Shorty' let's go."
"Who the fuck are you calling shorty, I'm five feet seven inches tall."
"That's $20 you owe the pretzel jar. I called you 'Shorty'. I'm six feet three inches tall, and the top of your head barely reaches my chin. Be nice or I will have to teach you another lesson in manners."
"I'll stay in my room."
"Not after you said the word ANYTHING you're not."
"You cock sucking son of a bitch. You are going to hold that over my head for the next 10 months."
"You just took a quantum leap and are into the pretzel jar for $40; BE NICE DELICIOUS, don't make me spank you."
"You wait until tomorrow morning when I draw up the contract. You are not going to like it one bit. Your hands are going to shake when you sign it. If you touch one bit of forbidden flesh, your fingers go into a nutcracker and I am going to be holding it."
"Bitch, bitch, bitch."
Delicious laughed. "That will be $30 please."
"That little boy is going to be a millionaire before he starts investing in penny stocks."
Delicious threw an armload of her clothes from the closet into Grays' arms. "Hang them neatly; otherwise you will have to do it again."
"Is this what married life is going to be like?"
"Oh no, it's going to be much worse; I'll make sure of it."
"You have to remember, you still haven't met my mother. She is a very formidable woman."
"I'll bet you are her baby boy."
"How did you guess?"
"A 17-year-old high school dropout has his mother's pride and joy wrapped around her tiny finger. She is going to wonder for the rest of her life if she breast-fed you too long."
"Delicious, you are evil."
"You must have been talking to Rod. He started saying I was evil the day after we met. He was absolutely sure about it by the time we landed in Denver. When I convinced my dad, to get up at 10 AM rather than 1 PM. He was going to have Father McAuley perform an exorcism on him. He was sure I was the devil's daughter. Rod and I had a lot of fun together, before Rosalynn put an end to it. One day when we are sitting down with them, you will hear all the stories of the things we did to each other. It was crazy time."
"I'm surprised you two didn't kill each other."
"We knew it was all in fun."
"Did everyone else know?"
"No. Gray, I have to leave my father a note to tell him what's going on."
"Should I start running now?"
"No, you know how smart he is. He just told me to use my head and not my hormones. I think I've done just that. I want him to know I moved into your room so he doesn't panic when he sees my room is almost empty."
Delicious ran down to her father's den, and wrote him a note. "Dad, In order to give Jennifer and you more privacy I have moved in with Gray. My arrangement with Gray is fantastically unconventional. If we live through it going to the stars will be a piece of 'pie.' Thanks for taking the leash off. Your loving daughter, Delicious." (I'm still not talking to you!)
After 20 minutes of walking back and forth, and kissing when they passed each other, all the clothes Delicious wanted in 'their new room' were properly in place. Now, so were they. She was lying on her side facing away from him. He was lying on his side facing her. They had talked and jousted with one another for a long time. Silence sounded wonderful to both of them. They were spooning, with no molecules of air between them. Except for the intermittent kisses on her neck, and his hand rubbing her belly, they slept peacefully.
*********
The wedding affair was a huge success for Father McAuley, Jennifer, and me. All the wedding gifts were given to the church. Jennifer and I made a donation of six figures also. The church would be solvent for many years to come.
Jennifer begged me not to start in with her family, by bringing up the past. She had lived through it once, and she wanted it forgotten. I told her it was not fair to her, but if that was the way she wanted it, I would abide by her wishes, reluctantly.
Tomorrow night we would have to put the two leaves into our wooden table. A total of five of my colleagues had requested invitations to dinner. They wanted to sit in on the inaugural meeting to build our spacecraft, especially the part when Delicious would be speaking. If she found a way to leave Earth's atmosphere, without using hydrogen as a propellant, she would have solved a problem that had plagued every space agency in the world, since the United States first harnessed its power.
We were saying good night to Gordon, when someone tapped me on my shoulder. I knew we would be setting another place at the table for dinner tomorrow night.
"Hello Shelby, you can be at the house any time after 3 o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Our meeting starts between 7, and 7:30 PM."
"My father is pissed with you. You are supposed to notify us, before you start on something like this."
"How did you find out about it?"
"You pissed off Doctor Oyster. Your daughter missed her appointment with him. Oyster called to give him a piece of his mind. My father told him he could not afford to lose any more of his mind, because you found more problems with his Milli-Newton thrusters then you had previously. That's why he decided to attend your wedding."
"Were you here to see the look on his face when Gordon told him about the problems with his thrusters?"
"Yes, we have the whole affair on tape. Every table in the science section was miked, and we got some very interesting information from your colleagues. The word is out about you bending radio waves, and some scientists are working on it to try and beat your timeline. If you are ready for your tests I would move it up a little bit, and get to the patent office ASAP."
"I can do it any time. How soon are you available?"
"I can be here for the duration. Does Rod have the NDA's ready?"
"Let me ask him."
"Rod do you have the NDA's ready for the test we were talking about?"
"Yes, I have to show it to Delicious as we agreed."
"Bring it to the house tomorrow, around noon. Call me on my cell before you leave your house just in case she and Gray are still in bed."
"Even, you didn't just say, what you just said, did you say that?"
"I swear I am going to have to ask your wife to teach you the English language, again. Yes I did say what I said when I said what I said to you what I said. Did you understand that?"
"I thought that's what you said."
"I'm glad, because I have no idea what I just said except that my daughter and Gray are probably an item by now. They will be living together, until I can build them a house. Do you have any other questions Rod?"
"Even are you feeling all right? You've been acting strangely of late. I'm worried about you."
"I think I am having a fit of dementia. I believe I told you I was giving you a 50 percent cut in salary; am I correct?"
"Even you never looked better in your life. Let's forget this conversation ever took place. I'll be at your house tomorrow at noon with the NDA's. I hope you have a long and happy marriage. Should I bring Gordon with me?"
"Yes, that would be a very nice thing to do."
"Your wish is my command."
"Good, now get the fuck out of here."
As Rod walked away I said to Shelby, "I don't know what I would do without that man. I owe the dam pretzel jar $10."
"It certainly didn't sound like he was not expendable. What is a pretzel jar, and why do you owe it $10?"
"Rod and I are closer than identical twins Shelby. As far as the pretzel jar is concerned, it would take too long to explain. You'll see it tomorrow."
Jennifer asked, "Can I have my husband back please. I want to go home and get laid."
"Jennifer this is Shelby Meil, a very good friend from Austin Texas."
"It's a pleasure to meet you Shelby. Are you a scientist also?"
"No, I'm in the people business."
"You must be very busy, because there are an awful lot of people in this country."
"Yes I am busy, but I'm taking some time off to stay in the Denver area to watch some of your husband's programs come to life. Your husband is a very fine man and a brilliant scientist."
"It was the best airplane ride of my life. I got to Fairbanks on time, and I got a husband all in one."
"It was a very happy circumstance; especially the part where he walked 40 miles to get to your house after he backed an airplane into some trees. He told me it was all because of the story your father told you. On behalf of my father and me, we thank you for saving his life."
"I'm happy I saved his life also. I wouldn't be in this gown if he wasn't alive. Come with me Even, I'm horny."
"Goodbye Shelby, I'll see you tomorrow."
*************
Gray was awake for 15 minutes or so but did not want to awaken his sleeping beauty. He loved spooning with her. Their minds seemed made for one another, and their bodies meshed perfectly in bed.
His hand moved slowly across the lower part of her ribs under her blouse, as he touched her skin, where he had been holding her while they slept. It did not seem to bother her, until her eyes popped open and she screamed, "Stop that I'm ticklish there."
"I have been doing this for 15 minutes or more. Now you tell me it tickles?"
"It's not possible; anyone who touches me there drives me crazy. If you were touching me for that long I would be dead of hypoxia."
"Do you see where my hand is? I have been rubbing it up and down this side of your body since I woke up."
"Do it again, but if I tell you to stop, stop or I will go crazy."
He rubbed his hand at the same speed and with the same light touch as he was doing while she was asleep.
"Gray I should be screaming in pain and laughing like crazy right now. Why is your touch different than everyone else's?"
"Maybe because you realize I love you, and I want you for the rest of my life as my wife."
"10 years, not one day longer. After that we will renegotiate."
"I want children before we head out to the stars."
"What are we going to do with them, take them with us, or leave them with your parents and have them raise them?"
"Our children come with us. I would never let my mother raise another child; can't you see what she did to me?"
"Your parents made a beautiful baby."
"Your parents made a Delicious baby."
"Take your clothes off, I want to see what you look like."
"If I am going to be naked, so are you."
"No intercourse, no fucking, no getting laid, do you understand Gray?"
"You do not owe the pretzel jar $10 for that word, and yes I understand."
Moments later they were using their eyes to memorize each other's body.
Delicious said, "Get in bed, I want to touch you, I want to know what a man feels like."
Gray replied, "Remember the rules, because I may forget them."
"Don't worry, I won't. I will not make the same mistake my mother did."
"Are we going to do this one at a time, or together?"
"One at a time, and I go first. You have been with women before. I have never been with or touched a man in my life."
"There will be a certain part of me that will be out of control."
"I fully expected that, and I want to see what happens when it does."
"You may have to help me at the very end."
"You will have to help me, I don't know what to do."
"I will take you in hand and help you help me."
"Great, now, I have a final instruction for you."
"What is it? I'll do whatever you ask. You noticed I didn't say the word that begins in the letter 'A', and ends in the letter 'Y."
"Yes I noticed it. Here is your final instruction.' She whispered, 'BE QUIET, NOT ANOTHER WORD."
Gray was about to reply, and Delicious covered his mouth with hers. When she released him she reiterated, "NOT ANOTHER WORD."
Gray mouth the word, "BITCH."
Delicious smiled. "The honor code requires you to put $10 in the pretzel jar."
*************
"They left the lights on in the kitchen so we didn't have to walk into a dark house. Wasn't that nice of them?"
"They left the lights on so you could carry me over the threshold."
"Did I ever tell you about my bad back?"
"Do I have to tell you how far I am going to shove my foot up your ass if you don't carry me over the threshold?"
"That will be $10 please."
"Even the pretzel jar is going to be the death of you."
"I thought you said it was my jokes?"
"Yes those too. Now are you going to carry me over the threshold, or are you sleeping outside tonight?"
I smiled at my bride as I took the keys out of my pocket and dangled them before her sleepy eyes. She closed in on me, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed me.
"You may have the keys to the house, but I have you by your balls."
As soon as the words were out of her mouth she squeezed, and not gently.
"Is this a nice way to start our marriage?"
"Are you going to carry me over the threshold?"
"I never said I wasn't."
"You never said you were."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"If you let go of my balls I will carry you over the threshold."
"Even I'm going to take a picture of you from belly button to knees and post it online. I want to see how many hits we get when they see the size of that weapon you carry around."
"You have a dirty mind. Come over here so I carry you over your threshold."
"The threshold includes these three steps."
"That's right I forgot. Rod told me to put you on the right side if you were going to run the household. I put you on the right side and you are already running it."
I jumped off the porch and landed beside my bride, who was amazed at my dexterity. I handed her the keys, picked her up, and threw her over my shoulder.
