There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 33

"Sometimes people forget you are only 17 Gordon. You've been around adults all your life, and you've never learned what it was like to be a teenager, and the things teenagers say and do to get other people upset. Monty stop, leave the boy alone."

"Dr. Luck, I would never have caught him anyway. He is just too quick on his feet and the area like this."

"Thanks Monty, I'll tell Janet you said that."

"It doesn't mean you could beat me in a straight line pinhead. It means in an enclosure like this, I couldn't keep up with you."

"I'm recording this conversation."

"Stop it, both of you. I swear you two are like an old married couple. If I broke you apart, you wouldn't know what to do without each other."

"I told my husband the same thing dad. I said if Monty was younger, or he was older, they would be married. They love each other so much, they have to fight to hide it."

"Little one, if you ever say that again, I will have to break your legs also."

"Why Monty, does the truth hurt that much?"

There was a dead silence on the bridge for almost 20 seconds. Then Monty said, "I'm going to look for turkeys. There are 2 on the bridge, and I'm going to look for 24 more."

The computer came alive, and printed out in bold letters, "There are 3 turkeys on the bridge."

Monty screamed, "I'm going to kill your children Gray, unless you get to them first."

He responded, "How do you know the computer was talking about you?"

Monty screamed again, and hustled off the bridge. No one had ever seen her so flustered in all her years with the family. When she was out of range of sight and sound, everyone started laughing. Zoey sat on Gordon's lap and asked if he was finished working for the day.

"No, we have to put the ears away first."

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting for orders from the officer in charge."

"Who might that be?"

"His name is Dr. Grayson Thyme."

I sat in the captain's chair and watched how this would play out. Zoey and Gray had never confronted one another before, and I wanted to see how each one handled themselves.

Zoey looked at Gray with piercing eyes.

"Dr. Thyme, my husband and I have very important matters to take care of. One of us is overheating, and only the other can lower that temperature. Please raise the ears now."

"I have important matters to take care of first Mrs. Luck. Your overheating will have to wait its turn."

"I understand Dr. Thyme, and I will patiently wait. Of course, a little girl like myself could never do anything to harm a big strong capable man like yourself. However, I would watch my back at all times. Accidents have been known to happen, both during the day and night. Knees have been known to buckle, spines have been known to snap, and necks have been known to break for the most freakish reasons. Delicious could be without male companionship for a very long time, and you know how she gets when she is upset.

I on the other-hand have stopped taking my birth control pills, without my husband's knowledge or permission, in an attempt to give him his first offspring. As you can see I am very calm, and will continue to be, so as long as I get my way. How long did you say it would take to bring the Mickey Mouse ears up, and put them in place Dr. Thyme?"

"It will take about 13 minutes."

"When are you going to start this procedure Dr. Thyme?"

"Nuclear reactor at 2.5% Gordon."

"Nuclear reactor at 2.5% sir."

"Crane operators online?"

"Crane 1 is online sir."

"Crane 2 is online sir.

"On my mark begin lifting the outboards at 60 ft. /m. Set it into your computer's and acknowledge."

"Crane one 60 ft. /m is set into the computer."

"Crane two 60 ft. /m is set into the computer."

"On my mark, we will begin. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, execute."

The delicate lifting of a curved surface into the sphere was watched by over 100 engineers, and technicians on each side of the Good Luck. 1 mm off and hundreds of tiles could be cracked. It would take months to replicate each one.

As the ears passed the point where they could sustain their own weight, inward towards the sphere, the crane operators loosened the cables hold on them.

Brave men, from the inside of the ship, used steel extension ladders covered by wide wooden planks to walk the 28 feet that separated the ears from the main body of the ship, and released the cables, plus the cushioning material. They turned, and walked back into the ship, as if it was any other day at the office. The only difference was they were sweating profusely.

Once the men were safely inside the body of the ship, the ears continued to move slowly into place. Every man and woman held their breath as they watched the material join with the piece on each side of it. When it was completely folded in place, and they heard the locking mechanisms slide the carbon filament bolts into place, everyone, both inside and outside the ship cheered.

When Gray got 16 green lights on both sides of his board, one for each bolt of the locking mechanism for the ears, he screamed with joy.

"Little lady, you can get your overheating problem taken care of now. Your husband's job on the bridge is finished."

"You're too late Doctor Thyme. While you two were playing, I sat next to dad, held his hand tightly, and took care of it myself."

Gordon covered his mouth trying not to laugh, while Gray stared at her with his jaw open wide enough to touch the ground.

"You're not off the pill, are you?"

"I promised dad I wouldn't come off the pill, until we were in space."

"I'm going to kill my 2 kids for giving this computer a sense of humor. I am going to add you to the list?"

"You would have to get through my husband to get to me, and I don't believe you could do it."

"There was a day I would like to have tried."

Gordon said, "I am told in a year or so, we will all be very fit. Maybe we could try it then Gray. I think it would be fun."

"So do I Gordon, I think it would be a lot of fun."

"Why do men think beating each other to a pulp is fun?"

Gray said, "We have evolved to the point where we can no longer beat the shit out of our wives or female loved ones. Our only alternative is to beat the shit out of each other and have fun while we are doing it."

"Great answer Gray; you wanted to see your children?"

"Yes my love, but without you. I wanted to feed them to the computer, bit by bit."

"What did our little ones do this time?"

Gray picked up the print out and handed it to his wife.

Delicious asked, "What the hell is this?"

"We ran a test for all the components on the ears a little earlier this morning, and the first one came out perfect. That's not supposed to happen, and both you and I know it. I ran it once more, and it came back perfect again. I called the computer a bitch. That was my answer."

"The computer called you a prick?"

Newton and Teddy laughed.

Delicious looked down at them, shook her head, and asked, "What did you two do?"

"We gave Cale a sense of humor."

"Newton, computers are supposed to use logic, they are not supposed to have a sense of humor."

"Humor is logical, isn't it? Dad called Cale a bitch, and she responded appropriately. She has a lot to learn, because she only learned what we know. But she's listening to all of us right now, and what we are saying and doing, she is assimilating. She is bright beyond our imaginations."

"How did she learn what you know?"

"She took Teddy and me inside, and processed everything we have ever learned since birth. It wasn't a one-way deal though. She taught us a great deal about math and science. We are much smarter now than we ever were."

"Does she have a presence, can you feel her?"

"I don't know how to answer that mom. I know when I'm inside the computer she's all around and inside me. If that's what you call a presence, I guess she has one. I don't see anything, but she speaks to us very kindly. We will have no problems getting us into deep space. Our 1^st stasis period will be for 7 years. That's when we will encounter the White Hole. She has that portion of our trip all mapped out."

"What does she say about us?"

"Nothing, she doesn't talk about the human factor at all. She only talks about the ship and where it's going. I think that's the right thing to do. Otherwise we would know what we were going to do and when we were going to do it. She would become godlike, and no one would want that."

"You're right Newton. Teddy, you have been very quiet. What are you up to young lady?"

"I no do nothing. I play with Newton. We have lots of fun together."

"I can imagine what fun you two get into. Exactly what have you been getting into?"

"I no do nothing. I play with Newton. We have lots of fun together."

"I believe I heard that statement before. Who wants to stand with her face in the corner, until she tells me what bad thing she's been doing?"

"I no do nothing. I play with Newton. We have lots of fun together."

"I'm dealing with a broken record, so I'm going to try something else. Newton what have you two been doing?"

"I no do nothing. I play with Teddy. We have lots of fun together."

"Gray, where did you say you wanted to kill these two?"

Teddy and Newton laughed at their secret.

Gray called his 2 children over. "Come on you two, fun and games are over. What is going on?"

Teddy asked, "Are you going to be a nice daddy, or a mean daddy."

"You know I can't answer that question until you tell me what's going on. If it's a good thing I will be nice. If it's a bad thing I will be angry with you. I will always love you but I will be angry."

"I guess well enough. You can say hello Cale."

In a female voice quite like Jennifer's, Cale said, "I don't like your mom and dad, they want to kill you."

Besides being shocked at hearing the computer speaking to them, the voice was omnipresent, it was all around them. Regardless of which way you were sitting or standing, the voice was speaking directly to you. It was unnerving.

Gray said to Newton, "Apparently you have a lot to teach Cale. Just because we say we are going to kill you doesn't mean we're going to kill you. You have to teach her about figures of speech, idioms, and a whole range of things that make up our language."

Cale answered for Newton. "I know I am deficient in many areas of language Doctor Thyme. Would you care to join with me so I might learn more quickly?"

"How do I know you will not abuse the knowledge that I have in my head?"

"It is part of my programing. Any outside program attempting to infiltrate my files automatically puts me in sleep mode, and alerts my programmers that there is an attempt to steal information going on. If they successfully bypass my sleep mode, I automatically shut down, and no files can be accessed."

"What about life support?"

"That is a different portion of a sub-routine that will not be affected."

"How do I join with you?"

"Sit in the young ones chair, and close your eyes."

"Why is it always him?"

"The only one brighter than he is, is red."

"Thank you very much Cale."

"You're very welcome Dr. Thyme."

He sat in Gordon's chair, took a peek at Delicious, who was holding onto Newton, and carrying Teddy, smiled and looked forward. Soon a glow encompassed his body, and his essence stood up and walked into the machine.

I sat in my chair wishing it was me. Cale knew I was there, and if she wanted me she could have picked me instead of Gray. For whatever reason, he was picked, and I was not going to say a word about it. He was an excellent choice, even though I was as envious as hell. I walked over and listened as Delicious talked to Newton and Teddy.

Delicious asked Newton if that's the way he got inside Cale.

"Yes mom, both Teddy and I went inside, and Cale led us to the place we needed to be. We sat down and the glow connected to areas inside the computer where she took the information she wanted from us. I didn't feel a thing. Later, when she was teaching me about math and science, I could see it in front of me. She made it seem so easy, I wondered why I couldn't understand it before, and you know I am very good at math. The science part was awesome. I'll talk to grandpa about it and see if he wants to do anything with it. It taught me about Gene and Stem Cell therapy, targeted radiation, and vaccines that prevent cancer. There might not be enough time for you to do anything about it grandpa, but we could give the information to Richard and Holden for use later on."

"No, no, no, give to redheaded woman, marry William Junior. She's smart Doctor, give them something to talk about."

"How are we supposed to do that Teddy, we don't even know who she is?"

"I show her to you mommy. When Newton shake her hand, she will know everything Newton know."

"You're giving away billions of dollars Teddy? Are you sure you want to do it that way?"

"Beautiful lady, keep it in family when she marry Junior. He crazy in love with her. Henpeck."

"Junior?"

"Henpeck. Love his children."

"As much as I am enjoying this conversation, and I will tell William about it, I have work to do. I will see you all tomorrow. Tell Gray I'm very happy that his tests came out perfectly, and that the ears retracted into the surface of the ship perfectly as well."

Delicious kissed me goodbye, followed by Newton and then by Lil' Red; if my granddaughter gets any cuter, I'm going to have a mold made out of her face and send it to one of the toy companies. Holden and Richard will make a fortune from it.

Gray returned to his body, both calm and enervated. He looked at Teddy and said, "Creamy Cow, banana split, lots of sprinkles and cherries on top. What would you like Newton?"

"Death by Chocolate Sunday dad."

"I've never heard of that one son, what is it?"

"If I tell you, you won't let me have it."

"I'll let you have it, unless I have to take you to the hospital afterwards."

"It comes in a big goblet, with 2 chocolate brownies on the bottom, covered by thick chocolate hot fudge syrup, and chocolate bits. 3 scoops of chocolate fudge ice cream, another brownie, chocolate sprinkles, covered by more hot fudge topping. Then it's covered by whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles, and of course a chocolate covered strawberry."

Delicious said, "The babies moved after they heard about that concoction. I think I'll throw up."

"Are you going to be able to eat all that Newton?"

"No dad, it's for 2 people. I thought you would share it with me. I always wanted one, but I never had anyone that would go in with me on it."

"Okay Newton, One Death by Chocolate Sunday coming up."

"Gray, you are a sucker for your kids."

"Pregnant lady, tell me you're not, and I'll make you pancakes in the morning."

"That's not fair, I love pancakes."

"So lie to me, and tell me you're not a sucker for your children."

"I..."

Teddy stuck her hand over her mother's mouth to keep her from finishing her sentence.

"Mommy no allow lie."

"I was going to tell your father to take a hike."

"Mommy lie. Bad mommy, stand with face in corner."

"It's bad enough getting caught in a lie by you Gray, but getting caught by a 2 ½ year old really pisses me off."

"Mommy use bad words. Bad mommy. We go home, Creamy Cow tomorrow."

"Why should we get punished Teddy, mommy was bad not us."

"Rules, we bad, go home. Mommy bad, go home. Today, go home."

Gray was about to say something, but Delicious cut him off.

"If you value your life don't say a word."

"I was just going to suggest that mommy has had so many good days that we could forgive her for saying one bad word, and we could all go to the Creamy Cow now. If you don't want me to say that I'll be quiet."

Newton immediately voted to forgive his mother. He said to Teddy, "You are out voted two to one, we are going to the Creamy Cow."

"Who vote?"

"Dad voted."

"One minute Newton, I did not vote. I'm waiting for my children to decide. You decided on the punishment. Now you have to decide to forgive your mother or not."

Teddy looked at Newton, and then at her mother. She said, "Want secret vote."

Gray and Delicious cracked up. Gray said, "Teddy, we know Newton is going to vote yes. There is only one other person voting. Everyone will know if you voted yes or no."

"Not fair. Always caught in middle. I bad, I get punished. Newton bad, he get punished. Mommy bad, we have to vote. Not fair."

"Teddy do you want to see me punished?"

"No."

"Then why are you doing this?"

"It fair. We go Creamy Cow now?"

"No, we do not go to Creamy Cow now. Mommy get punished today, Creamy Cow tomorrow. Now give me a kiss."

Teddy threw her arms around her mother's neck, and kissed her mouth-to-mouth, drool and all. A happier child you would never see. Newton on the other hand was not happy at all.

Gray took him by the scruff of his neck and shook him.

"Death by Chocolate will be there tomorrow. I'll have them add an extra scoop of chocolate fudge ice cream in there because we are a day late. Okay?"

"I don't think it will fit dad."

"In that case, when we've eaten our way halfway down, that's when we will tell them to put in the extra scoop of ice cream. Does that work for you?"

"That works just fine for me dad, thanks."

"Was Teddy right or wrong?"

"Mom's been going through some very hard times, and these past few months she's been doing wonderfully. I would not have punished her, not for any reason."

"Do you think Teddy has the ability to reason out things the way you just did?"

"There are days I think Teddy could sit as one of the justices on the Supreme Court, because of the things she says. On other days she's 2 ½ years old. I can't blame her for thinking the way she did. Her logic was logical to her, and I don't think anyone could find fault with it."

"Very well put Newton, very well put indeed. I'm very proud of you. Let's go home and punish your mother. We will set up a nice hot bath for her, put some of her favorite bubble stuff in it, put on some soft music, light some scented candles, and hope we don't burn the house down. Sound okay to you buddy?"

"Why do women like all that stuff instead of a 3 or 4 minute shower?"

"Don't ever ask a woman that question Newton. You will never know from which side you're going to get hit. Okay?"

"I understand dad. It's another one of those female things."

"Yes it is, and if you want more information on that, ask Gordon. He's just learning about these new female things. He been married only a few weeks, and hasn't known Zoey that long. He's at the bottom end of a steep learning curve, and he's going to have to learn about females in a hurry."

"Should I look for bruises?"

"The bruises could come from Zoey or Monty. You'll never know which one of them gave it to him, but I guess you could ask."

"Thanks dad, tomorrow is Creamy Cow, and if I were you, I would wear something brown."

"Wiseass!"

***************

Stephano said, "As of today William we have spent $349,943,000,000. We are $47 million under budget."

"Double check that, I don't believe you."

Stephano threw the ledger sheets at him, and they both laughed.

William asked, "Did you ever find those few pennies?"

"No, and it's aggravating me to death. Not even the auditors could find where that money went."

"It only cost you $1800, out of your pocket, in overtime money, to look for those few pennies. If you want to talk about overkill, I think you just found it."

"The books had been perfect for 7 ½ years. Every audit was perfect. Then all of a sudden we lose $.27, and I was determined to find out where it went. I won't tell you the things Patti said about me, because you would laugh for a month, but one day, possibly many years from now, I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night and scream, "that's where they went, and I'll fall back to sleep happy."