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"Stephano you are out of your mind."
"Are you talking about me behind my back?"
"Even when we are talking about people being out of their mind, your name comes up first. Why are you crawling around the bowels of this building?"
"I've come with 3 pieces of information for you. First we have more news about who your son is going to marry."
"Please tell me so I can tell his mother what to expect."
"She is a beautiful, intelligent, doctor, according to Teddy. He will not only fall madly in love with her, he will be henpecked."
William nearly fell off his chair laughing. Stephano had to catch him before he hit the floor, and hurt himself.
"Wait one minute Even, I have to call Jemma. If I tell her, she won't believe me. If she hears it from you firsthand, she will be lying on the floor laughing like I almost was."
****************
"Hi babe, are you alone?"
"I'm alone except for this thing you put in my stomach you bastard."
"Even and Stephano are here. Either sit down or lie down because what you're about to hear, I just heard a second ago. It is just too funny, and I knew you wouldn't believe it coming from me."
"I'm sitting on the couch, go ahead."
"Hi Jemma, it's Even. What I'm about to tell you I heard from Teddy less than an hour ago, and I swear it's the truth. She said Junior is going to marry a beautiful, intelligent doctor, and not only will he fall madly in love with her, he will become henpecked."
I had to move my ear away from the phone, because of the scream Jemma let out. She found the last part of my sentence so funny, she could not control herself.
"Even you bastard, I just peed my pants. Can I tell him, can I tell him what Teddy said?"
"You can do what you want Jemma, just make sure you have his passport hidden. He may want to fly to New Zealand, Australia, or back to China so he can hide from his fate."
"Even, I want grandchildren. I'm tired of being the only one making babies. It's my son's turn, and I want him to start now."
"I have no control over that Jemma. If you would like I will speak to Teddy about it, and ask her if we could move that along."
"If they are meeting on Christmas Day, what are you going to have him do; screw her on the stage?"
"You are the one that wants grandchildren, you tell me?"
"The stage is sounding better and better every minute."
William shouted, "That's our son you're talking about."
"Did you forget that you fucked me on the railing of a hotel, facing the 4th green?"
"Oh yes, none of those men made par that day."
"None of those men made snowmen that day."
"I don't believe they cared because they watched intently while you cried out in passion."
"I wasn't crying out in passion. I had a steel spike trying to break through my ribs."
"Liar."
"I'm at home alone, and you are at work doing nothing. Do you find anything wrong with that?"
"I'll be home in 30 minutes if you promise not to kill me."
"William you going to live to be 130. You will impregnate me on your 120th birthday. Doctors are going to want to examine you to find out how you did it. They're not going to care about me, they are going to want to know your secret, so they can do it next."
"My secret is you. You keep me young. Hang up, and warm-up, I'm coming home."
"Should I wear something exotic, or should I be naked?"
"You are exotic when you're naked."
"Maybe 20 years ago, you liar, but get your ass home, I have plans for it."
"I'm on my way."
"Gentlemen, I'm henpecked, and I love it. This meeting is adjourned. Even, we are $47 million under budget, is there anything you want to do between now and Wednesday?"
"Can we delete Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, so we can leave now?"
"I'll work on it, but I can't promise you anything."
"Have fun William, say hi to Jemma for us."
After William left, I said to Stephano, "Do you know what the three of us have in common?"
"We all get colds in the winter."
"I'm serious Stephano, do you know what we have in common?"
"Even, I have no idea."
"Airplanes, our relationships all went into high gear on airplanes."
"Even, you're out of your mind."
"You and Patti knew each other for a long time, but you finally broke through the final barrier while flying on a United Airlines flight from Kansas City to Boston. You two talked to each other, and if your children's stories are correct, tried to shove your head down the others mouth on that flight. Is that correct?"
"Yes it is."
"William met Jemma on a United Airlines flight from Chicago to Phoenix. He was forced to fly first-class because coach was full. Jemma was the flight attendant. The only other people in first-class was an elderly couple sitting in the 1st row. After they ate, and had a few drinks, that couple fell asleep. William pulled a magic act with a United Airlines vice president, which awed Jemma.
He pulled another magic act after that, and had her panties in her mouth seconds later. They've been together ever since.
"I met Jennifer and Gordon on a Delta flight from Minneapolis to Fairbanks. There was no hanky-panky, but I think both of us knew something special happened during that flight. When I showed up at her door, 4 days after the crash, she was crying and screaming you're alive."
"So there you have it my friend, we were all meant to be in this project, because our lives were already bound together by airplanes."
"You are crazy Even."
"How many times have people called me crazy during my career, and I have proved them wrong? How many people said you can't amplify sound without having wires connected to the source? However, I made a fortune by perfecting wireless headsets.
How many people said that tapes were never going to be replaced by discs?
I made 10 fortunes proving them wrong. The companies I sold the patents to, didn't believe in the product. They sold it dirt cheap to the Japanese, who now have a corner on the market. Now those companies are paying a premium for what they should own, and I am still collecting royalties.
Why is everyone still calling me crazy?
Sound cannot possibly go around mountains, but I just made $60 billion proving them wrong, but I am the crazy person.
You and I are standing in this building, along with hundreds of other crazy people, who think on December 25th that round ball out there is actually going to penetrate the atmosphere, fly past the moon in 19 minutes and Mars in an hour.
The United States government is praying that we fail, because that will make everything they have on the drawing board obsolete.
The Russians are on their knees praying that we fail. They don't know half of what we have discovered in the last 8 years Stephano, not half of what we've patented. When they find out, they going to run to Siberia and hide.
Everyone in this building is crazy, including you. You were at the 1st meeting Stephano. You could have said I don't want to do the accounting, get an outside firm to do it. It would not have been an unreasonable request, except for the gun that was in your ribs, and your wife was holding it there.
She had no idea how long you two would be separated. I'm happy to say it worked out well for both sides, but there were terrible hardships along the way.
Only crazy people would think up, and do what we have done together, and this was definitely a collaborative project, because everyone was needed, to get this spacecraft to the point where I feel safe enough to say that each one of us will live long enough to find Earth 2."
"I believe you are crazy enough to find it Even. If you don't, I want you to 'Live Long, and Prosper'."
"If I wanted to prosper, I would stay here on Earth. Earth 2 is out there somewhere. Our intrepid group will live long enough, and continue to have enough children to find it. It's a big universe out there Steph, and unless someone leaves a trail of breadcrumbs for us to follow, we are just going to look at the findings our instruments give us, and go with our best guess."
"You're going to have my Laura onboard. You better take care of her, or I'll find you and take care of you."
"I want you to think about this Stephano. One year from Christmas evening, I'm going to start sexually abusing your daughter. Come and get me."
"You rotten bastard."
"I'll send you a postcard and tell you where I am. I won't know where I'll be after that, but it will take you eight years to build a ship, and find a crew to fly it. You have the money to do it. So help Richard and Holden build their ship faster than they think is possible now, or build a smaller one, for 30 or 40 people, and head for the White Hole. I know will be traveling there. "
"It's hard enough for me to get Patti away from the ranch. You expect me to get her into a spaceship? You're out of your freaking mind. Besides that, Laura will take you apart."
"Laura would not hit a frail old man, not while she has Adam to take her frustrations out on."
"Is there trouble in paradise?"
"Do you talk to your daughter?"
"Patti monopolizes her time."
"Possibly a fatherly visit is in order."
"Are you going to be here for the rest of the day?"
"If you want, I will even sit in William's chair."
"Let's not go that far; you can sit in my chair and get hemorrhoids."
"I find that acceptable, except for the hemorrhoids. I'll have your secretaries rub my ass every 15 minutes to keep them away."
"My secretaries don't even do that for me."
"Have you asked them to do it?"
"No, I thought they might find it objectionable."
"I'm going to tell them it's for medical reasons."
"You lying son of the bitch. I hope Jennifer beats the shit out of you."
"She does, every night in bed. I wouldn't trade it for the world."
"Dycke told me about that cannon you're carrying around with you. I'm amazed Jennifer is still alive."
"That man promised never to say a thing about what my wife calls my 'weapon.' I believe I'm going to have to have a talk with him."
"Leave him alone, he can outrun you. I don't want you to have a heart attack four days before launch."
"Go to your daughter Stephano, I'll hold down the fort."
"Please don't kill anyone in my absence."
"Only the Colonel has permission to do that. He's with Colonel Daniels now, checking on security for Wednesday."
"Those two make an odd couple, but they work very well together."
"Are you going to leave, or am I going to disappear?"
"I'm going. I'll see you tomorrow."
*****************
Stephano's caravan stopped in front of Adam's house. One agent opened his door, and to escort him towards the front door.
Laura's lead agent, George, stepped in front of him.
"Mister Valentino, you can't go in there right now."
"Get out of my way George, I'm going to speak to my daughter. I know Adam is at work. I checked to verify he was at the NEST. So please step aside."
"Sir please let me make a phone call first."
"Don't be ridiculous George, I'm going to see my daughter, please stand aside."
"As you wish sir."
Stephano walked up the three steps to the front door, and walked in. He called out Laura's name, but there was no reply. He looked in the kitchen, and she wasn't there. She wasn't in the living room either. He walked into the den, and screamed, "Holy Shit!"
Laura screamed when she saw her father. "Get out of here dad."
He didn't have to be asked a second time. He flew out the front door holding his heart.
"I tried to warn you sir, but you wouldn't listen to me."
"I didn't expect to see my daughter standing on her head, naked, and doing splits George."
"That's nothing sir. I begged her to get blackout curtains, but she refused. She walks around the house naked all day, and night. The men are very distracted by our vision of loveliness. I have to warn them they will be fired if they don't do their jobs. Sometimes, I find myself not doing my job, because she is a very beautiful young lady, and not self-conscious about her body anymore."
"When did that happen George? She was always very prudish."
"I guess it happened when she started sleeping with Mister Schiff."
"She's sleeping with Adam?"
"Yes sir, for the last four months they had been cohabitating."
"I'm going to kill him, very slowly, but I am going to kill him."
"No you're not sir, this was her decision, not his."
"How do you know all this George?"
"When Adam is at work, and she is lonely, she calls me into the house and we talk. She tells me things she won't tell her mother, because she doesn't want to get into a fight. You are always too busy to talk to her for any length of time, and she knows I won't judge her. I've been with her since she was almost 3 years old, and she trust me."
The front door opened, and a screeching voice yelled, "Get your ass in here dad, I'm going to beat you to death."
"Sarge, Hank, you're with me."
"If they take one step towards this house, I'll get my gun and shoot all three of you."
"Mister Valentino, she's not kidding."
"This is going to be ugly George. If I'm not out there in one hour don't bother with the police, just call the corner."
"Yes sir."
Stephano turned towards his men. "Goodbye fella's, it's been nice knowing you."
"Get in here dad, before I come out there and grab you by your neck."
"I should never have given her those karate lessons."
He walked towards the front door, and wasn't sure what awaited him. Once he was inside Laura slammed the door hard enough to rattle the house. Stephano turned to apologize to his daughter, when Laura put her arms around him, kissed him, and said, "Hello dad, did you enjoy what you saw?"
"I saw your mother 23 years ago, even down to the pubic hair. Can I ask you what you were doing upside-down, doing splits?"
"It's an exercise for the glutes, and thighs. Adam particularly likes my ass, so I'm keeping it in shape for him."
"That's another question I have for you, and I'm going to kill him if you give me the wrong answer. You said you were going to remain a virgin, until you were married. I just found out you've been sleeping together for four months. Do you want to answer the question I have in my mind, or do you want me to spell it out?"
"I am still a virgin daddy, and I will be for a few more days. Adam and I play, but we do not have intercourse. Does that answer your question?"
"It means you'll have a live person to marry on the 25th, instead of a mummy."
"Would you have made that same statement Anna?"
"Anna never made that promise. God knows your brother never did. I'm surprised half the girls at the University of Michigan aren't suing him for child support."
"You started buying him condoms when he was 15 years old dad. According to urban legend, he started buying them by the gross when he was in college."
"I'm sorry to admit this, but that was me, and that is my son. The only difference is I went to Penn."
"Why did you come here today dad?"
"There is a very simple explanation for it. Every time you call the house, your mother hogs the phone, and I never get a chance to talk to you. You're leaving in a few days, and I wasn't going to let you leave without us having a chance to have a real heart-to-heart conversation. I don't care if it's about your fourth-grade teacher, or the time you broke your left arm. I want to find out if there's trouble in paradise, or if you are having second thoughts about leaving. I just want to talk to you, so when you leave, we leave nothing left unsaid."
"How much time do you have dad?"
"I have until 4:40 PM Sunday afternoon. Then you have five minutes to get married, say goodbye, and board the spacecraft."
"Stay here, I have to talk to George."
**********
"George, call Adam and tell him I don't want him to come home before midnight. I'm talking to my father, and it's going to take some time."
"I thought it might miss. I already spoke to him, and told him he was non-expected to be home until 1 o'clock in the morning."
"God dammit George, are you sure you don't want to come on that spacecraft with me? You know what I'm going to say and do, before I say or do anything."
"Thank you for the invitation Laura, but I would miss football too much. Then there is watching grass grow, and croquet. Then the most exciting of all things, the America's Cup Yacht Races. I couldn't possibly miss that."
"I'm not even going to respond to those lies. You're too good and valued a friend for me to call you an asshole."
"Thank you for that Laura that would have hurt."
****************
As she walked back inside, she opened the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of water. She opened them both, and handed one to her father. She sat down next to him and asked where he wanted her to begin.
"Begin at the beginning, or wherever you'd like, I'm here to listen, and talk with you."
"I was pulled out of mom's womb first. It was damn crowded in there, but at least it was warm. The damn room we were brought into was cold. This Doctor handed me to a woman, who wrapped me in a blanket to..."
As Stephano listened to Laura talk, he realized she was recalling things no child under the age of two should remember. She was amazing. She continued to talk, and as her age progressed, he began asking questions. The more she revealed, the more he questioned her.
At 7 PM, she called and asked George to order dinner.
He responded, "It should be here anytime now."
"I hate you George."
"Yes ma'am, I know you do. I hate you more than you hate me."
Laura smiled, because she would have the last laugh. When she was off on her journey into space, each of her agents would get a very high dollar parting gift. George was special to her. He would get $50 million, and a 10,000 acre ranch, in his home state of Washington. He often talked about going back there to raise cattle and sheep, but it was a very expensive undertaking. Her lawyers would help him pick out the best cattle, and two bulls to sire the next generation. They would do the same thing with his sheep. He would no longer have to worry about anything ever again. He was the best friend she ever had, and the best confidant anyone could ever ask for.
Laura and Stephano continued talking during dinner, about her decision not to go to college, and the war that began between her and her mother because of it. She didn't need a professor to tell her how to do something on a computer that she already knew how to do better than he did.
Then came the chance of a lifetime for Laura. The opportunity to work with me on a new project to put people into space, in under 10 years. We needed someone with computer expertise to find a way to put people into stasis for long periods of time, without their bodies deteriorating. It had never been done before, and she wanted to be in on this project.
She called me, told me who her parents were, and what she was able to do with a computer. She said she was nearly as good as her mother, but no one was ever going to be as good as her mother was.
I accepted her on face value. If she didn't pan out, I could send her home. I had no idea there was a war going on at home. Patti v. her three children and Stephano.
Stephano was trying to negotiate a deal, between the children and his wife and it was not going well. It came to a head after she had a meeting with her neurologist, Doctor Joyce Null, who told her medically she was fine, and to get out of for children's way and let them grow up.
As they were leaving the hospital, there was another explosion between the three children and Patti. Robert and Laura furiously left their mother at the hospital, leaving Anna to hold Patti's hand.
