Why I Hated The Guy From The FBI Ch. 15

"Then what the fuck are you thinking about, Philip? It looked to me like you were seeing dollar signs."

"I cannot lie to her. I have to tell her I signed this agreement. She is going to be pissed off at me, and she may fire you. We could both die in this office this afternoon."

"It is not a lie, if it is not spoken. Sign the papers and I will keep it in my private vault. Hopefully, it will never have to see the light of day. Do it before she gets out of the bathroom and sees us talking in here."

"Give me a damn pen, and show me where to sign."

By the time he finished signing, and initialing every page of the document, Philip had writer's cramps. Jim said he would have his secretary notarize it later, and put the document into his safe and closed it. As they exited his office, they walked straight into Celeste.

"Were you two boys jerking each other off in there?"

"No Celeste, Philip was telling me that it is going to be a girl."

"Did he tell you how that joke started?"

"I thought he was serious about it."

"After we are finished talking business, we will go out to dinner and I will tell you the whole sad story."

"Would you like me to make reservations at the deli, again?"

"We are going to be about 35 or 40 people, right Jim?"

"Yes, that's about right."

"Tell that manager we are coming and to block off half the restaurant and I will make it worth his while."

"After what you gave them the last time, don't be surprised if he closes the restaurant for you."

The meeting did not take two hours; it took 3 ½ hours to go through all the permutations of suing Global Pharmaceutical Conglomerate. Celeste would have to have continuous blood tests to show her declining hormone levels as the weeks progressed. Her doctor had the baseline test and every test from this point forward would be critical to her case. However their biggest concern was for the child. If it were born with a birth defect, what type of life would it have? How severely deformed would be? What illnesses could it contract during its lifetime, because of its exposure to the pills? These, and hundreds of other questions, were fears Celeste had never mentioned before, to anyone, and had kept behind the locked doors of her mind. Now, she was preparing herself, Philip, and every other woman taking this pill, to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, of its potential dangers. Only time and specialized tests would be able to tell if the baby was going to be born healthy, and if not, how severely deformed it would be at birth, or sickly, during its lifetime.

For the last 30 minutes of the meeting, James parceled out areas of responsibility to each member of his staff, singly and in groups. He wanted to file the lawsuit within 10 days, and needed their best work, the first time around the track. He needed Celeste to have a full round of blood tests, and to take a deposition, before she left the city.

Then he told her the one thing she never expected to hear from him. "Celeste, I will need help with this one, in court. They are going to have a team of top-flight lawyers coming at me, day after day, and I know, I will not be able to keep up with them. I am going to have to bring in outside help."

Celeste said, "Don't be a wuss, call Tom Shackleford, and tell him to get his ass over here."

James Hearst laughed. "Celeste, no one tells Tom what to do; not even you."

"Do you want a bet?"

"Yes, anything you want."

"Jim, if I win, you pay for dinner. If you win, I will pay for dinner. However, you have to be as generous as I would be, to the people at the restaurant."

"Celeste, I am going to leave my wallet in the office."

"You are going to be very embarrassed, when you have to walk all the way here and back to the restaurant to pay the bill. Someone call Shackleford's number for me, and let me know when he is on the line please."

"This is Thomas Shackleford, whom I speaking with?"

"This is Celeste Mezner, Mister Shackleford, and I will get straight to the point. I want you at this Carnegie Deli, in 40 minutes. I do not want to hear the words I cannot be there. You received a call from an Anthony Caruso to defend him, his brother-in-law Marco Mancuso, and others in a $1 billion lawsuit against the Federal Government and American Airlines. The reason you received that phone call, instead of James Hearst, whose offices I am sitting in now, is because I believe in sharing the wealth. It is not the first time I have done this for you. If you expect to receive any more high profile cases, from any of my friends, and corporations in the future, your ass had better be at that deli. Goodbye Mister Shackleford." Celeste hung up before Thomas Shackleford could answer.

Jim Hearst looked at her with his mouth open. He was an excellent lawyer, and he knew it. Thomas Shackleford was the best, and everyone knew it. He expected his phone to ring any second with Tom Shackleford on the other end of the line screaming to find out what idiot had called him, and spoken to him in that manner. The phone never rang.

10 minutes later, Celeste said, "Let's go everyone, I cannot wait to get my hands on a corned beef and pastrami sandwich, with lots and lots of Russian dressing on the side. I hope they still make egg creams the way they used to, because I have been dreaming about them, since the last time we were there."

As they exited the building, a line of 10 limousines waited for them. One of the attorneys on Jim's staff said, "That lady leaves nothing to chance. She covers every base there is, not once but twice."

Many people were unhappy to see the sign on the door of the Carnegie Deli stating, "CLOSED FOR A PRIVATE PARTY."

There were moans and groans outside, as the people watched servers clean and polish everything in sight, while they awaited the arrival of Celeste and her group. The public parted, as limousine after limousine unloaded their passengers and the attorneys filed into the deli after her. The onlookers could not believe there were only 42 people in the restaurant, when the doors were closed and locked. Suddenly, one more limousine arrived. One very polished man glided out of this limousine and walked towards the doors. He waited for someone to let him in. He was late, by five minutes, and Celeste let him stand outside, for five minutes, until allowing him in. Jim Hearst wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground, as he saw Thomas Shackleford standing by the door, turning different shades of red, as each moment passed. The most amazing thing to him was: He Stood There.

When Celeste finally allowed him into the room, she said to him, "The next time I tell you 40 minutes, you had better be here in 35. Do you understand Mister Shackleford?"

"Yes Miss Mesmer, I understand completely."

"Mister Shackleford, let me introduce you to your boss on this assignment. This is James Hearst. I believe you two know each other. He is the lead attorney, and you are second chair; do you have a problem with this arrangement?"

"No Miss Mesner, I do not have a problem with Jim sitting in first chair."

"I knew you would not. Order something to eat and Jim will fill you in on what this case is going to be about."

"I just had lunch a few hours ago, Miss Mesner; so I will pass on your offer."

"Have something to eat, and we will discuss business afterwards."

"Yes, Miss Mesner.

Jim watched her display her power over people, like a priest had power over his flock. She was absolutely ruthless, when she wanted to be. She was magnanimous to a fault, when she wanted to be. You had to be in the right place, at the right time, when it came to her business dealings, to find out what person you were dealing with, and what was going to happen to you, on that particular day. Thomas Shackleford showed up five minutes late, and he got fucked royally, because of it. He would never be late again.

Philip was lost in this conversation among lawyers and the legal terminology. However, instead of turning himself off because of it, he buckled down and tried to learn everything about it. He wanted to become part of Celeste's life, instead of just her 'farmer husband.' He listened intently, borrowed paper from the staff, and wrote down words he did not understand. The feast lasted until 10 PM, and the staff at the Carnegie deli was so rested, they did not care if it went on for another four hours.

Thomas Shackleford was brilliant. He told everyone exactly how the drug company would come at them. They would blame Celeste for everything. They would take out the pamphlet that comes with each disc of pills and start with the fine print that everyone is supposed to read before taking any medication. If Celeste knew what it said, they would say she was coached. If she did not know they would say that she did not follow their directions. There was no happy medium and the drug companies knew it. However, the 12 people on the jury were not chemists and they could not care one iota about the chemical makeup of the pill. They only cared about what the pill was supposed to do: it was a birth control pill. It was taken by a woman to prevent the conception of a baby, in this case, because she was not married. She believed that a child should be born and brought up in a two parent home. That is the way they will play to the jury. That is the jury they will pick. Men and women who were of any race, color, sexual orientation, or religion that believed in the sanctity of life and family values. As soon as Celeste found out she was pregnant, she went to the man who had fathered her child, and they decided to marry, because they wanted to raise this child in a two parent home. They worried, from the outset, that the child would have some ailment, because of the medication Celeste was on.

Shackleford said to Celeste, "They are going to say that you have enough money to buy everything on this planet. You should reply that they stole nine months of your life, worrying about a child, growing inside your body. You are not a religious person, but you could not harm this little person, growing inside you, because you felt it was already in too much pain, and you needed to help it. For every blast they shoot at you, we are going to shoot an arrow into the heart of every one in that jury. Let them try to get the jury angry with you, and we will try to get the jury to cry for your baby. No court will allow an invasive procedure to be done on an unborn or very young child, to determine its future health. That works for our side, and hurts their side. If the FDA gets involved, the company stands to lose billions. If it is found unsafe, a class action suit would be filed against them, and would cost them hundreds of billions of dollars; and your name would be the lead name in that lawsuit.

Celeste asked, "Do you two want to partner up, on a part-time basis, or do you want to do it full-time? Either way, I am going to make it worth your time."

Shackleford asked, "Whose name goes first on the door?"

Celeste responded, "Are pissing contests always needed, when it comes to men?"

James Hearst replied, "Celeste, you are 28 years old, and if you do not know the answer to that question by now, you should be ashamed of yourself."

Celeste stood up and demanded to know who the youngest attorney in this room was."

A young woman stood up and said, "I am ma'am."

Celeste looked at both Shackleford and Hearst and said, "You two winners give me an answer in ten seconds or her name goes first."

Jim Hearst said something into Tom Shackleford's ear that made him grin. Shackleford said something to Hearst who nodded back. He said to Celeste, "We have your answer. We are joining offices, and firms, which you are paying for, and it is going to be called "The Winners Association."

Celeste smiled and turned to Philip, "Write a check for $20 million to the Winners Association, as our retainer for the next year. I have a feeling our legal bills are going to be high, but our rewards are going to be greater. You will also have to write a check from your business account changing the winery to their legal tutelage, for the next year, here in the United States. I believe they will give you a discount."

Tom Shackleford looked at Jim Hearst with a confused look on his face, and asked, "What did I just step in?"

"Tom, you know with all good things, some pain has to be inflicted; correct?"

"Okay, what do you mean? So far, everything sounds okay to me."

"She has not told you about the telephone, yet."

"What could be so bad about a telephone?"

"I would hate to spoil your surprise. You ask her."

"Miss Mesner, James told me to ask you about a telephone?"

Celeste looked over at Jim and yelled, "Thank you Jim I almost forgot."

Jim replied, "I would never let that happen, Celeste, not in the million years."

"First, Tom, you may call me Celeste. Tomorrow, you will get yourself a ultra- secure cell phone, which you will have on your person at all times, and I mean at all times. I am the only one to have that number; not your wife, not your girlfriend, not your boyfriend, not your broker not your priest; no one but me is allowed to have that number. It will never be allowed to ring more than three times, without being picked up. I do not care if you are fucking the Pope, you will pick it up. Tom, when I call, even if you are dead, you had better pick up the fucking phone. Do we understand each other?"

"I believe you have made yourself quite clear, Celeste. I will give you that phone number tomorrow, by noon. I assume Jim has a way to contact you?"

"Yes, the phone works both ways; however, the obligation to be picked up is only on your side." Celeste walked away leaving him standing there with a stunned look upon his face. He walked over to Jim Hearst who was smiling broadly.

"You enjoyed that, didn't you?"

"After she did that to me, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. You are a better man than I am, Charlie Brown."

"Not by a whole 'heckuva' lot, Jim. However, she does have a way to make it up to you. $20 million is a wonderful way to start a partnership."

"Tom, this was a very light year, businesswise, between Celeste and my office. I handle her as an exclusive client. Whatever comes in, from her businesses, is handled through our office, as extra income. My income for this year, from her alone, was $100 million. I may have worked a total of six weeks to earn that amount of money. My tennis game is awesome; I have not driven a golf ball as well, since I took up the game. I am even thinking about buying a sailboat. That phone is never out of arms reach. She called me a few days ago to set up today's meeting. I answered it on the second ring. She yelled "What the fuck took me so long?" I told her I was fucking my secretary. She said, "Okay," and we went on from there. As long as you do not lie or cheat her, she is the most wonderful person you will ever meet. If you lie to her even about the most unimportant thing, she will fire you. If you steal a penny from her she will send you to jail. You work your ass off for her and she will reward you handsomely. She cannot spend the money she has; because she makes more money per second then she can possibly spend. She is going to have to slow down now, because she is pregnant and will soon be a mother. If she decides to stay home for one year her money will increase by nearly 2 ½ billion dollars. It is a tough life, but someone has to live it."

"How do you think she is going to handle this lawsuit mentally?"

"She will eat their lawyers like M&M's. She cannot be flustered. She cannot be out-thought on a witness stand. We must not tell her what to say, only suggest things to say. She will take care of the rest of it."

"Where would you like our new offices to be?"

"I love your building, is there any space there?"

"I will find out tomorrow, PARTNER!"

"Before you go into work tomorrow, buy the phone, or she will want to know why you did not do it. I will call you tomorrow, PARTNER!"

51. The Pounds, the Weight, and the Wait!

At Vincent's house, Rose loved playing with her granddaughter. Annarosa was a wonderful baby and she did four things extremely well. She slept through the night. She loved to eat; and she pissed and shit like a sailor. What more could and a mother and father want. If you played with her, she was a very happy baby. If you laid her down by herself, she became very fussy. She loved to be entertained. During the day, when her mother and father were at school, the nanny was there to take care of her. Angelina Mancuso would stop by, during the day, and take her for walks, while the nanny would clean the house. It worked out well for everyone. Now that Rose was here, Angelina and Rose would walk Annarosa around, and the neighbors would come out, see the infant, and talk with them for hours on end. Annarosa loved it because she kept getting transferred from one pair of arms to another, and for her, it was a game.

At night, Rose would sit in a rocking chair, with Annarosa, feed her the last bottle of breast milk, and sing to her, before she went to sleep. On this night however, Vincent and Donna were a little louder than normal.

While they were in bed, Donna said, "Vincent, your mother and I have decided that you are going to have to start to diet, or have Frank help you with a workout regimen, because you are becoming fat. You are only 19 years old, and if you start getting fat now, you will look like your Uncle Joseph by the time you are 22. Your birthday is coming up soon and we will get you some exercise equipment and put it into the basement, instead of sending you to a gym. If you will not do what Frank tells you to do, your mother will get you a personal trainer, and he will force you to do everything you are supposed to do, while standing on your back."

"My Uncle Joseph is over 400 pounds. I would never get that big."

"Your mother said I am becoming a very good cook, and with the recipes she is giving me, I am going to become a better cook. That is going to be very dangerous for you. I have two other choices: I can serve you half portions. Or, I can stop cooking, and serve you frozen dinners."

"You would not do that to me. I have never eaten one of those things, and I will not start now."

"Then you will have to have Frank set up a training regimen for you, so that you will start putting muscle on your body, instead of fat."

"Frank picks up cars, just for the fun of it. What could I learned from him?"

"He must have started by picking up smaller cars."

"Very funny, Donna; and talking about the fat, someone else in this bed has a belly."

"I am not fat. You have never complained about my breasts before, you suckle at them like the baby does. As a matter of fact, I think you drink more milk than she does. Maybe that is why you are getting so round. The man I married was long and lean. What happened to him?"

"He met this girl and fell in love with her. It meant he had to stop chasing all the other girls around, because he had this one waiting for him, at home, every day, and every night. The only exercise he gets now is when he does this..."

Vincent threw the blankets off her and attacked her breasts with his mouth.

Donna screamed in joy, and when Annarosa heard it, she started to cry.

Rose said to her, "Rosa, mommy and daddy are playing. They are not hurting each other. Soon daddy will notice that mommy has somebody hiding in her tummy. There is another little person, just like you in there. Men are as blind as bats, when it comes to noticing these things, but given a little time and a little patience they realize it. It becomes fun to watch their expressions. Daddy thinks that mommy is fat. He will pay dearly for that remark, before this night is over. He will pray at the altar of love tonight, and many nights afterwards, talking to your sibling. He will tell it how much he loves it and that he hopes it is as wonderful as you are."