Hate Thy Neighbor

When I got back to the apartment it seemed so empty without them, I wasn't sure what I was going to do with my new free time. Suddenly my stomach grumbled and I had the urge to make an omelet. I decided to text Carson to see if he wanted one.

Me: 'Hey, I just sent the girls off to their first day of school, feel like some breakfast?'

Carson: 'I'm working, so I really can't go anywhere.'

Me: 'I was just going to make omelets here.'

Carson: 'In that case I would love one! I can always spare fifteen minutes for an omelet.'

Me: 'I have mushrooms, onions, and cheese, that sound ok?'

Carson: 'Like music to my ears.'

Me: 'Ok give me fifteen minutes.'

I quickly touched myself up in the bathroom before starting the omelets. I'm not sure why I was all of the sudden nervous to have breakfast with Carson. It is obvious that neither one of us has any interest in the other.

Ten minutes later, he knocked on my door.

"Hey, I was at a good stopping point, so thought I would come on over, need any help?"

"Um, you can pour me an orange juice, and whatever you like, they are almost done."

I was happy they turned out perfect as I put them on the table. Suddenly I realized this was the first time we had been alone together. I think he realized the same as an awkward silence hung over the table.

"So, what do you do for work?"

"I'm an independent financial analyst."

"What's that?"

"I follow and analyze ten different companies. I prepare company overviews, projections, and make a recommendation if the stock is a buy or sell."

"How do you get paid then?"

"Independent brokerage companies pay me a monthly fee to distribute my reports to their customers. They have to be prepared by someone like me. I also keep abreast of market trends, news, etcetera so I can give daily guidance if the market is going to move one way or the other."

"I never knew that was even a thing."

"It is a very niche market. I like it, I work from home, usually done by two every afternoon. No weekends, no bosses, no worries."

"That sounds carefree."

"Yeah, that's how I tend to lead my life."

"I noticed."

As soon as I said it, I regretted it. Other than the one drunken comment, he has been really good to me and the girls. It's none of my business how many women he sleeps with. I decided to change the subject.

"You're amazing with kids, how come you don't have any of your own?"

"I plan on it someday, I have another year and a half of freedom, then I will start a family."

"What do you mean freedom?"

"I decided I was going to have fun and party in my twenties. The plan is to work hard and save as much money as I can. When I turn thirty, I will hopefully find a good wife and have some kids."

"That sounds pretty simple."

"Yeah, so far. We will see how many good women want a thirty year old guy for a husband when the time comes."

"What do you consider a good woman?"

I clearly was making him uncomfortable with my questions, and then it dawned on me. He wants a woman who doesn't have baggage like kids or an ex husband.

"Um, I'm not sure I have a concrete definition."

Now he had me curious, and as rude as it may be, I decided to ask the question that I had been asking myself since the day we met.

"So what's so repulsive about a single mother?"

He looked at me with surprise and guilt.

"Nothing."

I didn't say anything, just looked back and raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, as you know, sometimes I'm not a good person."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm selfish, that's why I don't want to get involved with a single mother."

"Selfish how?"

"Is there anything more important to you than your girls?"

"No."

"And do you think that will ever change?"

"Probably not."

"That's why I'm selfish. When two people meet and fall in love without children, the spouse is the most important thing in the world until children come along. I want my time where I'm the most important thing in a woman's life."

I sat there contemplating what he said. I kind of understood where he was coming from. I never had much of a chance to be cherished by someone, or enjoy romance. Instead I was pregnant at seventeen.

"I get it."

He looked at me with doubt and surprise.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do. I never had that myself, and I never will. So I can see where you're coming from. When you have it, I hope you cherish it, and when your kids come along, cherish them as well."

We both sat there in silence, reflecting on each other's words. Finally Carson stood up to leave and smiled.

"Thanks for breakfast, I enjoyed it very much."

"I did too."

The rest of my day I felt unsatisfied. I asked Carson questions I had no right to, and now I couldn't get his answers out of my head. Thinking about it, I couldn't fault him for not wanting to get involved with a single mother and the baggage that came with it. There are still more questions I want to ask if I ever get the chance again.

Chapter 5

***Carson***

What a strange morning. Out of nowhere, Tina invited me over for breakfast, and the conversation quickly became very personal. After our conversation, I saw her in a new light.

I sensed that although she loved the girls more than anything else in the world, she wished there was more in her life. I decided next time we were alone, if there was one, it would be my turn to ask the personal questions.

After the stock market closed, I went down to the pool to get my laps in before school got out. It was almost empty so I was able to swim in relative peace. As I swam, I thought to myself how much Tina has influenced my life.

The last time I had sex was the threesome with the college girls the night I insulted her. The next morning I felt like such an ass. She hadn't done anything to deserve that, I was so ashamed I couldn't even look her in the eye.

After that, meaningless sex didn't appeal to me anymore. Even though I haven't hit my thirty year old deadline yet, I suddenly wanted more out of life myself.

After my swim, I decided to walk down to the bus stop to make sure all the kids got back to the complex safely. The idea that someone may grab the girls was suddenly a real fear for me.

It was amusing to see an entire bus drop off the kids at one stop. Forty of them lived in our apartment complex alone. Thankfully there were several other mothers and fathers there to meet them as well. The girls were surprised and happy to see me waiting for them.

"Carson!"

"Hey girls, how was the first day?"

"Good, but we have HOMEWORK."

"Oh no, well make sure you get it done and make your mom proud."

I walked them back to the apartment, they talked my ear off the entire way. I carried Lily's heavy backpack so she took my hand as we walked. I handed it back to her when we got to their door.

"Will you come in with us and do homework?"

"No, I didn't arrange to come in today with your mom."

"You've been in here lots of times."

"Yes, but every time before, your mom knew about it ahead of time. I will ask her tomorrow if I can help you with your homework after school."

That gave me an idea. I ran to the store to get everything to make homemade cinnamon rolls like Linda had taught me.

The next morning, I was up early as always, but I made the cinnamon rolls in between spending time on the computer working. As soon as I knew the girls were off to school I sent Tina a text.

Me: 'Hey, I made breakfast today if you're interested.'

Tina: 'Sure, when?'

Me: 'It's ready whenever you want to come over.'

It was the first time she had been in my apartment, and she looked surprised. I kept it neat and well decorated, not like most bachelor pads I imagine.

"I made cinnamon rolls if that's ok?"

"You actually made these from scratch?"

"Yeah, my foster mother taught me, do they look ok?"

"I'm impressed, they look delicious."

We made a little small talk while we ate our breakfast. Finally it was my turn to put her on the hotseat.

"I walked the girls home from the bus stop yesterday, they wanted me to help them with their homework, but I didn't want to go in without your permission."

She seemed confused.

"You have been in the apartment dozens of times, why would you need my permission?"

"Because we had it arranged ahead of time every other time, I just felt odd going in if you didn't know I was there. I don't mind helping them with their homework if you're ok with it."

"No that's fine, the girls love you and it makes me feel better knowing you're around to keep an eye on them."

"Good, that brings me to my next question. How would you feel about me having a key to your apartment?"

The reaction was just what I expected, a twinge of fear and distrust.

"Why exactly?"

"Well, I would only use it in case of an emergency. With winter coming on, I just thought it might be nice to have one in case you get stuck overnight at the hotel, or if there is a fire alarm going off, or I hear them screaming."

"Let me think about it. Is that ok?"

"Totally, and I won't be offended if you say no. I'm just thinking ahead in case something happens."

"Ok I'll let you know. So you were in foster care? For how long?"

I smiled at her with a childish grin.

"Oh no, you made breakfast and asked the personal questions yesterday. Today, I made breakfast and it's my turn to ask."

Thankfully, she laughed at my humor instead of raising her guard.

"Ok, what do you want to know?"

"How did you end up being a single mother?"

She took a deep breath and blew it out very slowly.

"I'm sorry, that may be a little too personal. How about instead you tell me about your job?"

"No, it's fine, I don't mind talking about it. I met Raul when I was still in high school, he was attending Stanford. We hit it off right away and he started pushing me hard and fast from the beginning. Calling me, always wanting to go out, and then he started pushing me into having sex right away. At first I was enamored by him, he had an accent and was going to be a doctor. I was still a virgin and wasn't ready to have sex yet, but he was persistent. He eventually wore me down until I finally just gave in. Sure enough Emily was conceived."

She was getting a little teary, I could tell this was hard for her and started to feel guilty for asking, but she kept on.

"He is from Spain, and was here for medical school. We moved in together after I had Emily. He never had much time for us, always saying he had to study, promising me that after he became a doctor we would have more time together.

Of course I was young and stupid and didnt know any better. He just used me as his live-in mistress basically. Sure enough, my birth control failed two years later after I had strep throat and along came Lily.

Finally he graduated from medical school, and I thought that we might be able to start being a real family. Instead, I came home from work one day to find him and all his stuff gone. He left a simple note that said "Thanks for the good times, I went home to Spain." Initially I was crushed, but then I realized I didn't love him, and he treated us like shit anyway."

"Wow Tina, I'm so sorry."

"No, it's fine. I wouldn't trade the girls for anything. we're happy together. I didn't even bother trying to track him down. Good riddance."

I didn't know what to say, I felt like I had already intruded too much. She decided to change the subject and rescue me.

"I gotta say, I'm impressed, these cinnamon rolls are amazing."

"Thanks, I think I'll make them for the girls sometime."

***Tina***

I woke up with a start from a sex dream I was having about Carson. I was so hot I was almost sweating, WTF is wrong with me? I can't remember the last time I had a sex dream period, and why him of all people?

He is attractive, that's not the issue, but I cant see myself ever having sex with a man-whore like him. I tried to shake off the effects of my dream with a hot shower, but that just seemed to make it worse. For the first time in years, I started masturbating in the shower. I tried to keep Carson out of my thoughts, but eventually I pictured him naked, triggering a powerful orgasm that left me shaking.

I'm spending just a little too much time with Carson and decided not to have him over for breakfast to continue our conversations. Instead I did some laundry and other household chores to keep my mind off him and what the thought of him had done to my body.

After lunch, I headed to the pool since summer was quickly fading away. I was engrossed in a romance, which probably wasn't going to help my aroused condition when I heard a towel drop in the chair beside me, of course it was Carson.

"Hey, beautiful day isn't it?"

"Yeah, I decided to try and enjoy summer while it lasted."

"Me too, I will be sad when I can't get my laps in every day."

With that he took off his shirt, jumped in the pool and started going back and forth, making it look effortless. I had to admit, he had a hell of a body, lean and muscular, well tanned from a summer in the pool. The more I tried to ignore him, the more I found myself staring.

He swam for almost an hour straight, almost catching me staring when he climbed out of the pool. I pretended to be engrossed in my book behind my sunglasses as he walked towards me, water dripping off him looking like a Greek God.

Thankfully he didn't stay, instead he picked up his towel and shirt and headed back to the apartment.

"I'll see you later, enjoy the sun."

Damn, he even looks good walking away from me. I laid there and wondered where my dreams and thoughts had come from. I hadnt had sex in over six years, and never really missed it, heck I never enjoyed it when I was having it with Raul on a regular basis.

So why am I so turned on today?

I decided to take a few laps of my own and try to burn off some energy. Feeling much better, I returned to the apartment, showered and dressed in plenty of time to meet the girls at the bus stop.

It had only been a few days since school started, but I already missed having them there with me in the mornings. I was looking forward to the kids' night in the pub and an evening of hearing all about school.

I walked down the bus stop and chatted with Linda while waiting for the girls to show up. When they did, the look of joy on their faces made me happy to be a mom.

"Mom!"

They were full of news and hugs as we walked back to the apartment. Suddenly Lily asked me.

"Where's Carson?"

"I don't know why?"

"Because he is supposed to walk us back from the bus stop."

"Well, maybe since it is my day off he took a day off too."

"Mom, you BOTH can walk us back, we have four hands to hold."

My god, the things that come out of children's mouths!

When we got back to the apartment, I made them a snack while they did a little homework. Emily finished early and picked up her phone.

"Mom, can I invite Carson to go to the pub with us tonight?"

"Geesh, you guys miss him that much?"

"Yeah, he is nice and lots of fun."

"I'm not nice and lots of fun?"

"Yeah, but you're our mom, you have to be, it's your job."

"I guess if you really want to."

That made both of them happy. As much as I hated to admit it, Carson had become my new security blanket. I know I will always have someone there for me if something happens. Which is probably why he is right in asking for a key. I decided to give him a spare next time I saw him.

"Awwww, he said no."

I was surprised, he never has turned down spending time with the girls, I wondered if it was date night.

"I wonder why?"

"He said it's your day off and we need to give you extra love and time."

I was shocked, I hadn't said anything, so how did he know I was missing them more? I decided to invite him myself, the girls usually sat with friends while they were eating anyway.

Me: 'Hey, you're welcome to join us, they usually sit with their friends anyway.'

Carson: 'Are you sure, I don't want to intrude on your time with them?'

Me: 'yeah, they were upset you weren't at the bus stop.'

Carson: 'Ok, just knock when you're ready to head down.'

"OK girls, Carson is coming to the pub with us."

They both squealed in joy, I was starting to wonder if they liked him more than me.

When I knocked on his door, Carson answered, and actually looked like he dressed up a little. Both girls gave him hugs before taking him by the hand. He looked at the girls and nudged them.

"Your mom likes holding hands with you too."

The four of us walked down to the pub, each holding one of the girls' hands. Linda was walking into the pub the same time we were.

"Hey guys, want to join me tonight?"

"Sure."

The kids knew the drill by now and quickly got their food and joined their friends. Carson, Linda and I found a table and ordered off the menu. Linda & I ordered margaritas while Carson had whiskey on the rocks.

It was a nice relaxing dinner, having Linda made it a little less awkward for Carson and I. Linda did keep giving us weird looks like she was trying to figure us out. I needed to assure her nothing was going on between us next time I saw her. Linda left just a little before we did which gave me the opportunity I needed. Just when we were getting ready to leave, I slid a spare key over to him.

"Thanks, hopefully I won't need to use it."

Carson walked us back to the apartment, the girls were still wound up. He always gets down on one knee to give the girls a hug when saying goodbye. Tonight, Lily threw her arms around his neck in a big hug, I heard her whisper "I love you Carson."

I was surprised by the effect it had on Carson. He closed his eyes tightly, almost as if he was holding back tears, then gave her an extra squeeze. He stood and said goodnight without looking at me walked into his apartment. The girls definitely had him wrapped around their finger, hopefully they don't figure it out or he's in big trouble.

The next day at the bus stop, Linda walked up to me with a big smile.

"So, you and Carson huh?"

"No, not at all. The girls just love him to death and they wanted him to come along."

"Don't give me that, I saw how he looked at you."

I gave her a confused look.

"I'm not sure what you saw, but God's honest truth, there is nothing going on between us."

"Well, I can tell you one thing, all you have to do is say the word and he's yours. And I don't mean for a night either, that guy loves you."

I actually laughed at her.

"I'm flattered you would say so, but that's absurd. He wants nothing to do with a single mother, trust me. The girls have him wrapped around their fingers."

"Ok, we will see."

Walking back I was confused. Carson had seemed to change lately, but I still highly doubted he wanted anything to do with me. He flat out told me he was selfish and wanted nothing to do with a single mother.

Thursday, it was time to go back to work. Once again, I decided not to invite Carson over for breakfast. Linda's words kept repeating themselves to me in my mind. I didn't believe her at all, but no sense tempting fate.

When I got to work, it was a madhouse. There was a bug going around and out of our normal evening staff of eighty people, eighteen had called in leaving me to put out fires everywhere.

I got paged to one of our bars that one of the kegs was empty and needed to be changed. Some of the imported beers are quite expensive and are kept in a locked cooler. Before I showed up some of the bartenders had managed to steal dozens of them over a years time. Now there are security procedures which just makes more work for everyone.

One of the barbacks was waiting for me, in a hurry as there was a bar of thirsty customers. As soon as I opened the door he grabbed a stepstool to get one of the kegs that was on the second shelf. He was in such a hurry he didn't dry his hands before picking up one of the heavy kegs.