High School Dates Ch. 09

She too was one of the geeky kids in school. She'd had a boyfriend since the fifth grade and they had always planned on being together. Right up until a few days before she was to leave for school. Out of the blue he declared that he was going to marry Margaret, her best friend. Patty hadn't even known the two were secretly having a love affair behind her back. The signs had apparently been there, but she hadn't seen them because she trusted him implicitly.

The breakup was so difficult for her that she didn't show up for school. It was weeks into the semester before she finally ventured from her house, most of that time spent sequestered in her bedroom, barely eating, crying more times than not. She didn't even have a best friend or a mom to help pull her out of it and her dad was helpless. It was finally when the neighbor realized that she hadn't gone to school that she poked around and found out what happened. By then her body was in decline and her depression was as deep as a bottomless pit. When her neighbor finally forced her father to let her help, Patty was in a bad way. She had given up and her body was doing it as well. I'd seen a man die of a broken heart just this summer, and knew what that kind of emotional devastation could do. I could easily picture her thin haggard body giving in to her depression.

It took two weeks in a hospital before she could even hold down solid food again, and months of counseling before her depression abated enough for her to begin to live again. With all our tutoring sessions, Patty had come to care enough about me, and seen how I supported and helped the other girls on her floor, that she wasn't going to let that happen to me. So she came up with the intervention, and was surprised at how many of the girls were quickly on board to help.

The last night before we had to leave to go home for break, Patty and I slept together, or more appropriately, didn't really sleep, but made love, soft, gentle, caring sex, over and over again. She knew I was going home and she also knew that she had competition.

"You know, next semester we aren't going to be able to do this. Sleep together like this." She whispered as we lay in bed.

"I know."

"I have a question. I don't need you to answer it right now, but I need you to think about it."

"Okay, what is it?"

"I'm going to keep tutoring you no matter what. But I need to know, is it going to be just tutoring or does this relationship keep going? I don't want to push you. I don't want to be some guys rebound relationship, but to be honest with you, I've come to care a lot about you over the semester. All those days working together. I like you David, I like you a lot."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Betsy told me. She said you were falling in love with me. She also told me that if I didn't want that to happen, I needed to do something to make it plain to you that I didn't want that."

"I'm sorry. I mean, I didn't want you to feel obligated."

"Did I send any messages that I wanted things to change?"

"Well, no. but I understand if you don't want me to be, wait. NO, you haven't done anything to discourage me. But you also haven't done anything to encourage me."

"I haven't. On purpose."

"So, you don't care?"

"I do care. But I don't want to latch myself onto you in rebound. You've been so terrific and I know you've been through a lot, a lot like I am. If it wasn't for you might have ended up just like you were. I've come to care a lot about you, and I dare say, it could easily become more."

"It already has for me, but I don't want to end up the same way again, so I'm going to ask you before things go too far. Do you want me to be more than a tutor? Not to use, not for comfort, not for a play thing. If you come back and tell me I'm your tutor. That's what I'll be. If you come back and greet me with a kiss, I'll know you want it to be something more permanent. Next year we don't have to live on campus if you don't want to. Next semester we do, which means we can't keep living together like this. I want you to think about it. Think about what you want, who you want, what you want your life to be. Think about me and think about Betsy. I know she loves you and I know you were in love with her. I've had you to myself for the last few weeks, now it's her turn. Like you told her, you can't love two women at the same time. It'll be your choice. Am I your friend or your lover?"

"It's a hard choice, but I already know what I want."

"You might think so. But don't say it. Don't make promises you can't or won't keep. Go home, make love to her, let her make love to you like I know she did while she was here. After a few weeks with her in your arms you'll know if it's her or me. I'll know by how you hold me and kiss me if it's her or me."

"Alright. I'll think on it." I agreed. To my surprise she climbed out of bed and started to dress. "Where are you going?"

"Back to my room. Now that I've said my piece, I don't want you to say something we might regret. We've made love, shared out passion with each other in a way that only two lovers can. If it's the last time like this, I want to remember it just this way. I don't want it spoiled by you saying something silly." She stepped to me now that she was dressed, leaned over and kissed me. "David. I love you. I'll be waiting." She straightened and walked out of the room, leaving me laying there with my mind swirling.