I Kissed a Girl Ch. 09

"I'm so sorry, Celene!" I released her and stepped back, my face now in my hands. I let out my own cry—one of frustration—and scurried away. I had made it to my car three spaces down when I was stopped by hands on my shoulders and gently turned back around.

"Jenna, it's okay. Look at me."

I lifted my head to see Celene smiling at me through my tears, her head tipped slightly.

"You can't scare me off that easily." She brushed her thumb at my wet cheek. "Why don't we go somewhere and talk. I know the perfect place."

My eyes widened at the thought of going back to one of our apartments. I let out a soft moan, which made her laugh.

"Patience, Jenna. Patience."

She had me follow her to a side of town I'd never been to. We parked on the street along a line of two and three-story brick buildings, some residential and others commercial. One of the former had a blue neon sign hanging above a door. The words "Maggie's Lounge" surrounded a miniature martini glass. Inside, after descending a flight of blue-lighted steps, I looked around at all of the other women. I felt tears in my eyes, but for a completely new reason.

"Here, you can be yourself," Celene whispered in my ear, leading me to the bar and then a table in a quiet corner after we were handed our requested drinks. "Here, there is no judgment."

That night was the first time I smoked a cigarette. She lit one and stuck in between her painted red lips before offering me the pack. She didn't pressure me, but she did say it might help me relax. She was right...and said I was a natural. I just blew a stream of smoke directly at her, making her laugh while she swatted the cloud away.

We sat there for over two hours, me doing most of the talking between drags and puffs, her fingers casually playing and holding mine at times while smoke tendrils decorated the air between us under the low glow of the wall sconce. I told her about Kat but never mentioned Kat's name. Sometimes I cried. Sometimes I laughed. Never did she criticize.

Afterwards, she followed me to my place. She made my promise not to touch her while she pampered me. It was sweet. Slow. Perfect.

We spent most of our time at Maggie's or my place since Celene had a roommate that worked nights. Like Susie, she always took special care to meet my needs first. I felt blessed to have her in my life, though I wish I could be more outgoing with her like I had become in my job. I always felt like I was one step behind and not measuring up to what she would really want in a girlfriend.

In mid-June, my boss announced his retirement. I was sad to see him go. He'd given me many opportunities to grow and prove myself in a workforce mostly made up of men. We held a party the Friday before the July 4 holiday. He affirmed that he knew he was leaving us in good hands and then told us to enjoy the long break because we would meet with our new division head first thing Tuesday morning.

I spent the weekend with Celene and some of the ladies we knew at Maggie's. One of them had a houseboat upstate, and we lounged around the lake under the sun until it grew dark. Then we all watched the fireworks display. But I was so glad to get home and have Celene all to myself. She seemed to agree, although we mostly just fell asleep in each other's arms.

Tuesday morning, on the way to my desk, I walked past my old supervisor's office. That's when I saw the new name embossed on the window next to his door: Tim Jacobs. One of the jocks from hell. I almost turned around and walked out of the building. Something deep inside me convinced me I could do this. Maybe he had changed. I definitely had.

At first, I didn't think Tim remembered me. He barely glanced my way when we went around and did introductions in the conference room. Then he was down to business, wanting updates on all of our open cases.

Over the next two months, things pretty much ran business-as-usual. Tim stayed out of our way for the most part. I was already involved with a case that kept me negotiating with the other law firm at a neutral location. Then I was assigned to another. And another. Keeping busy kept my mind off who my boss was. The few times we were in the same room, he merely gave me a brief nod in passing or from across the conference table when I gave updates on the cases. And there were still no obvious signs of recognition who I was. Maybe I was lucky and he just had a bad memory.

After spending the morning reaching a settlement that swung in our favor, I returned to my office to finalize paperwork. I silently gave thanks that tomorrow was Friday. Only one more day until I could luxuriate with my girlfriend. Mostly in my bed, but probably the shower as well. We were going to shut off our phones to cut ourselves off from the world for forty-eight hours and just revel in each other.

It was almost time to go home when Tim knocked on my office door.

"Good job on the Anderson suit."

I blinked up at him, my tongue suddenly thick, making my words trip out of my mouth. "Oh...uh, thank you...Mr. Jacobs. Sir."

"Sir?" He chuckled and leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms. The action pulled his fitted suit jacket even tighter across his chest.

It did nothing for me, which almost made me smile. Almost. Though a half-cocked smile did appear on his face.

"Jenna Swallow. Time has been good to you, I see. Funny how fate works things out, huh? You and me here, working in the same place?"

Heat rushed into my cheeks. I sat up straighter and clasped my hands together on top of my desk, trying to keep myself composed. "Small world, I guess."

"Very small." He seemed to study me for a long moment, the opposite corner of his mouth twitching as his gaze briefly lowered. Presumably to look for a hint of cleavage, which would be more viewable from his angle...but not in my case with my higher-cut neckline. Then he was looking me in the eyes again. And helping himself to one of the two chairs that faced me. "I know I'm keeping you from your work, but I would like to talk to you about something important."

Dare I hope for an apology after all these years? I couldn't help glancing at the clock as I sat back, my hands now dropping to my lap though my fingers were still laced together. I had an appointment for a bikini wax at six, and they liked their clients to be punctual. It was quarter after five. I hoped this didn't take long.

"As you know from the internal memo today, we are expanding our name to go nationally and are looking for firms outside of Illinois that would be good to merge with. Management has met and decided the first three teams of two to go for research."

This time, I let my frown appear...and my hands tightened. "According to that memo, the research teams will be acting as sales reps offering our services to potential firms."

"Yes. And they will be getting commission on those firms that agree to collaborate with us. Win, win."

My forehead furrowed. "Excuse me for being blunt, but what does this have to do with me?"

"Management wants to give everyone a chance at this opportunity, so they've looked at all areas in the company. It'll be a great learning experience."

I highly doubted that. "Our department negotiates. With existing cases. I don't see how—"

"You'll still be negotiating." The corner of his mouth twitched again. "When you're here."

I felt sweat gathering at the small of my back. "What?"

"You've been chosen for the first round, Jenna. Your plane leaves for California at 6pm on Friday."

I could feel the color draining from my face. I had plans for this weekend. To ravish and be ravished. Plans that did not include flying across the country to work, even if it was on the West Coast in fall.

Tim stood and straightened out the bottom of his jacket then the cuffs of his sleeves. "You'll be gone until Wednesday. It'll mostly be business lunches and meetings, possibly some dinners, so pack accordingly. I've cleared your calendar until then."

Somehow, I found my voice, though it sounded a little high-pitched. "You said there were teams of two. Who am I going with?"

His smile was full wattage now. "Oh, that would be me."

All I could do was stare at his back while he walked away, his hands in the front pockets of his pants. And I swear I could hear him whistling.

***

The next day passed by in a blur. I kept remembering my conversation with Celene last night. How I'd cried in her arms while she assured me we could do our off-the-grid date next weekend when I got back. We'd made love then I fell asleep with her still holding me.

I'd only been smoking if I was stressed. A pack could last me weeks. Today, I lost count of how many smoke breaks I took. I realized my new pack was down to less than half by the time five o'clock came around. While the day seemed to creep by, quitting time was too soon for once.

I felt disconnected from my body when I got in the cab with Tim, went through security at the airport, and found my seat on the plane. Then we lifted off to head west. He talked with me, and I managed to answer, though I couldn't tell you what either of us said. My brain had shifted into autopilot.

By the time we touched down in Los Angeles over four hours later, it was dark. We checked into our separate rooms, my intent to go right to bed. But I ordered room service when my stomach kept growling. Although I ate all of the food, it had no taste. I finally donned the T-shirt I'd swiped from Celene and crawled beneath the covers, but I barely got any sleep.

Saturday had me up early, as Tim wanted to discuss our itinerary for the next five days over breakfast. Then we were off to our first meeting. He'd already told me to let him do the talking. The entire team got the commission if they scored a deal, so I didn't have to worry about not pulling my own weight. I just needed to watch and learn.

For the next four days, that's what I did. I became the silent partner. Or rather, the arm candy. There was no disguising the lustful looks in some of the men's eyes. Or, if I was to be honest, in Tim's whenever our gazes happened to cross. If they only knew I batted for the other team.

It would have been easy to tune everyone out and just think about Celene. To think that if I failed at this trip that I wouldn't be asked to go again. But that wasn't me anymore. I was not going to let a high school jock ruin my career.

So I pulled up my big girl britches and remained attentive. I took notes, both mentally and on paper. And I was courteous around Tim despite my desire to slug him each of the handful of times I saw him staring at me. Or rather my breasts.

We returned home with one definite and one maybe agreement for firms willing to jump on board. I thought that was a victory for our first time doing this. Tim did not seem as pleased. I wanted to tell him where to shove it, but I kept my mouth shut.

I let Celene pamper me the following weekend. It was all I'd hoped for and then some. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Two weeks later, I was heading to Florida. With Tim. Then it was New York. Washington, D.C. Texas. All with Tim. By December, we'd been to at least a dozen states and acquired potential partners in just over half of them.

Maybe that's why Tim seemed a little more laid back our last night in Louisiana after our final dinner. He'd decided we should walk to and from the restaurant since the hotel was just a couple of blocks away. The weather was that perfect not too cold, not too hot. Although, there was a light breeze, and my dress did not have very long sleeves. Which resulted in him insisting I take his suit jacket...after he'd already put it over my shoulders.

"Thanks," I mumbled, trying to hold my clutch under my arm while gripping the lapels with my fingertips.

"You know, Jenna, you impress me. When we started this adventure, management didn't think you'd last. They were reluctant to let any women do this. Yeah, it's a sexist attitude, but it's the way of the business world. I told them to give you a chance, though. I knew you. Your personnel file only provided more leverage. Your work ethic proves you are reliable. Professional. Successful even. I took a gamble on giving them your name, but I didn't know how you'd do in the field. That first trip? I was sure you were going to buckle under the pressure. Obviously, you didn't. And I can tell you've grown so much these past four months. I think you're ready to take the lead next time, especially after tonight."

My face burned when I thought about how Tim had disappeared after we were seated at dinner. He'd not returned by the time our guests had arrived, so I had to carry the conversation and start the meeting. It was twenty minutes later when he decided to grace us with his presence. Being put on the spot like that had made me livid. But what else could I have done? Of course, Tim had taken over once he'd joined the party. But the two partners of the firm we'd met with had said talking to me had sealed the deal for them to come on board with Tompkins Legal Consulting. That I knew my stuff, and they looked forward to working with me in the future. Little did they know, my part in the mergers would end here.

I was so lost in thought that I hadn't realized we'd stopped walking. Tim had his hand on my arm. I looked up at him for a moment, and then my eyes focused behind him to see that the hotel entrance was only a few feet away. An ornamental lamppost cast a wide circle of light across the paving stones leading to the door, but we were still hidden in shadow.

"You did a good job tonight, Jenna."

"Thanks." I brought my eyes back to him and opened my mouth to ask him where the hell he'd been when he spoke first.

"I'm sorry. I truly am."

My knees shook for a moment, and I stumbled back a step. Tim's grip on my elbow tightened, helping me regain my balance. I held my breath. Was this really happening? Was I getting the long-awaited apology?

"I never meant to put you on the spot like that. I had a call from home I had to take care of. I wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been an emergency."

No, he didn't remember the torture he and his friends had put me through. Or at least he felt no remorse. It had been too much to hope that he'd matured with age.

The air escaped slowly from my lungs as though I was a deflating balloon, the sound a wheeze that seemed like it would never end. And if not for his hold on my arm, I felt my whole body would have collapsed with that exhale.

My thoughts returned to the fact that he even had his hand on my right elbow—and wondered why—just as his other hand cupped my left cheek. Realization hit when he leaned toward me. I turned my head, causing his lips to graze the corner of my mouth and left cheek as I took another step backwards.

"Jenna?"

I couldn't see his face, but I heard his confusion in just that simple word. Felt it when his fingers tried to reclaim his hold on me while I pulled my arm free.

"Do you know how hard it was to stand back and admire you from a distance?" he said, his voice a little hoarse. "Scott wanted you so badly. Me, too. But he was my best friend, and best friends don't steal their buddy's girl. Even if she didn't want him."

Something akin to malice seeped into my bones. He was a moron. A complete, fucking moron. I so wanted to tell him off finally. But a little voice inside my head said it wasn't worth it to lose this job. I took another step back. Right into the side of the hotel. My jaw dropped in a gasp.

"But I'm done with childish games." His fingers were on my bicep now, and he was leaning forward again. His mouth was drawing closer. His breath caressing my face.

I couldn't move. In my head, I was screaming a litany of, "No! No! No!" but there was no actual sound outside except for the breeze rustling leaves on the sidewalk.

Finally, my brain sent three words spilling out of my mouth. "You're my boss."

Tim seemed suspended with his lips only an inch from mine.

Together, we stood there like statues for at least a solid minute, neither of us seeming to breathe. Then I felt the breeze dancing around my ankles. Rustling the bottom of my dress. Like the Fairy Godmother's wand and magic on Cinderella, it lifted up my legs, slowly releasing the spell over us. I shivered as the air caught and tousled my hair.

The light grip on my arm was released. Tim stepped back, blinking while he glanced around. He wasn't looking at me when he finally said, "Yeah, you're right. I'll see you in the morning."

And then I was standing there in the dark, watching him walk away. But there was no sense of relief. Instead, worry weaved its way into my thoughts that he would hold this against me. After a few more minutes of trying to slow my racing pulse but failing, I went inside.

I was putting the key card in the slot on my door when I realized I still had Tim's jacket around my shoulders. Reluctantly, I walked across the hall to his room and knocked on his door. A part of me prayed he wouldn't answer. I'd just hang—

The door swung open. For a moment, Tim just stared at me with bright eyes. When I didn't say anything, his right eyebrow lifted, then lines appeared on his forehead. His hair was tousled, as though he'd been running his hand through it. The ends of his tie hung on either side of his unbuttoned collar, and a glass with amber liquid was in his left hand.

He opened his mouth, but I was faster.

"Your jacket." I held it out to him.

He sipped his drink then propped the door with his hip. His eyes studied me for a moment before he took the rest of his suit from me.

"Thanks, again." I turned and went back to my room before he could misread anything else in the gesture.

I managed to fall asleep without crying.

Neither of us said anything on the flight home nor the following day at work. I wasn't going to mention it to Celene, either, but she could see right through me. Over a bottle of wine, I had once told her about my brief stint in public high school...how I knew Tim. I'd barely taken a sip this time at Maggie's Lounge Friday night before tears were clouding my vision when she said two simple words: What happened?

Despite my fears, Tim didn't treat me any different. If anything, he avoided me more. I was just glad he didn't fire me in order to try to pursue a relationship. I had briefly considered telling him I wasn't interested in him—or any man in that regard—but Celene reminded me I was there to do a job. I shouldn't draw attention to something that wasn't yet an issue because it could force me to stand on a soapbox. If I wasn't being harassed or my job threatened, I should just let it go. I heeded her advice. For now.

***

Come time for the next trip, I was assigned a new teammate. She was a legal secretary from the fourth floor named Lauren. And now I was the seasoned leader. I'd heard through the grapevine that I'd been matched up with a woman to save money on a second room. I wondered, in part, if Tim just didn't want me traveling with another man. Either way, I was much more relaxed being around another female, even though she didn't speak much.

Lauren was tall, just like me, but with brunette hair cut into a severe angle that was longer on one side instead of the darker blonde that adorned my head and barely swept my shoulders evenly all around. Hers was the kind that hung straight and shiny and made all women envious of how it stayed that way all day without any apparent effort. She also had the deepest green eyes that always seemed to get brighter when she smiled.

She seemed very timid, but she caught on quickly, just as I had. Maybe it was out of necessity. Although it was never said aloud, most of us knew our regular jobs now depended on us doing the sales part, too. We may not like being forced to broker deals just to generate more income, but this was actually something I was used to and good at: negotiating. And I think most, if not all, of the firms appreciated my knowledge and professional approach when it came to finagling the terms and conditions. With more experience in the field, so too did my confidence grow.