I Kissed a Girl Ch. 09

The allure was too much. She was too close for me to ignore it any longer. She was in obvious pain, evident by the fresh tears rimming her eyes, and my words were not helping.

It was a miracle that my left hand was steady when I placed it on the right side of her face. Her skin was so hot. My thumb swiped at her raised cheekbone, collecting the dampness that had gathered there. My inhale was sharp when I felt her shudder...and she flicked her gaze to mine again.

I smiled at her, warmth filling my chest. "Hey, Kat."

"Hey, Jenna." She managed a real smile herself this time. Then she added, "Thanks."

Her words made my smile broaden. She remembers me!

"What brings you to Maggie's?" I managed to get up without falling over or twisting my ankle in my heels. Then I took her hand, not thinking twice as I helped her stand as well. "And on a night like this? Oh, by the way, congratulations. I saw the announcement in the paper last week."

That fact had slipped my mind when I first saw Kat in the bar. I had sat dumbstruck at work on my lunch break when I'd read the brief notice. God knows why the memory suddenly came back to me in the bathroom with Kat only inches away. My chest hurt again now that I remembered someone else—a guy, for that matter—had swept Katrina Jenkins's heart away.

I shrieked at the tight squeeze on my hand and automatically jerked my arm back.

"Sorry," Kat mumbled, loosening her grip...but she didn't let go completely.

Her skin was so soft in mine...her fingers so delicate. No. Don't go there. I shifted my eyes from our linked hands back to her face. That's when I saw her lower lip trembling.

Her voice cracked when she continued. "Thank you, but there isn't any engagement now. Not after tonight."

A fury I'd never known—not even when the boys had harassed me—filled my head. My prior vow to beat up the offender was no longer enough. I would literally kill the bastard who had caused Kat this distress if we ever crossed paths. And I had a strong suspicion it was the other person in the newspaper photo. I didn't know him, but I hated him all the same.

I pursed my lips to quell the flood of emotions. We could deal with the Danny character later. Right now, my priority was taking care of Kat. "No need to explain. Let's get you cleaned up, and then you will come with me."

Neither of us spoke while I turned on the faucet and searched through my bag. I took my time and tried to be gentle when I cleaned away the streaks where her mascara had run. Covered the splotchiness on her cheeks with powder. Applied some lip-gloss with my finger to draw attention from her puffy eyes.

A sense of calm settled over me as I ran my hair pick through the tangled mess of her mane, which I was glad to see that she'd grown out. I sighed, basking in the feeling of her hair sliding through my fingers after all these years, even if the moment was fleeting. I may have lingered a little longer than necessary once her tresses were smooth though still damp, but she didn't complain. If anything, she seemed to have relaxed herself because her shuddering exhales had become more sporadic until they ceased entirely.

Too soon, I stepped back and put away my comb and cosmetics. I gave her a warm smile and said reluctantly, "Okay, I think we're ready."

Kat just stared blankly at me after she turned around. Even when I took her hand in mine again. So I tugged lightly. Only then did she seem to break her daze and acknowledge what I'd said with a nod.

She followed when I led her across the room. I let go of her hand to open the door then guided her out into the bar with my palm on the small of her back. My fingers tingled with awareness of how close I was to her body, although she was wearing two layers. I resisted the growing desire to give her a hug. She may have appreciated the gesture as an act of sympathy, but I knew it would have been partly selfish just so I could feel her in my arms.

With a little more difficulty than I had expected on my part based on my racing pulse, I steered her toward the bar where Lauren was waiting. My coworker turned just as we approached and gave me one of her megawatt smiles. But it fell completely when her gaze shifted to Kat then back to me.

Lauren's lips pressed into a scowl before she handed me a glass with a dark liquid—nodding at Kat—and turned back to Brad who gave her two more glasses. Then she walked away with our drinks.

I stared after her for a moment, trying to figure out what had just happened. Not coming to any conclusions, I shook it off and guided Kat ahead of me in the same direction.

Back at our table on the far side of the room where we could always talk and the music was merely a backdrop, I offered the chair on the long side of the table to Kat and sat in the one next to her, against the wall. Lauren slowly sat with a not-so-quiet huff in the third and final chair, which was also against the wall and opposite me. It didn't occur to me until we were all seated that Lauren might be miffed that my friend was now sitting in the chair she had vacated in order to get our drinks. That I had gone to the bathroom but returned with another woman.

I took my Malibu and pineapple from where Lauren had set it in the middle of the table and raised my glass to my old classmate, glancing between both ladies. "Lauren, this is Kat. Kat, Lauren."

Kat offered a small smile. "Nice to meet you."

"You, too," Lauren nodded and smiled back, but I couldn't hear any sincerity in her voice.

I pushed the glass of dark liquid toward Kat and watched her wrap both hands around it without taking a sip. My gaze returned to Lauren, who was looking at her own glass, her mouth forming a frown while she twirled the swizzle straw through the same concoction I was drinking.

Good grief! Is she seriously in a snit because I was helping a friend and didn't get our next round right away? That I gave away her chair? Phft. She'll have to get over it.

"Anyone got a cigarette?" Kat mumbled, breaking the awkward silence.

Both Lauren and I reached for our purses, but I could see she wasn't putting much effort into her search as she barely stuck her hand inside and shrugged. Resisting a sigh, I pulled out my pack, tapped a cigarette loose, and handed it to Kat before I offered my lighter as well. She put the filtered end in her mouth, leaned forward, and drew a couple of puffs until the other end lit up. Then she sat back and closed her eyes.

I had to suppress the soft groan rising inside of me while I watched her lips moving as she inhaled the smoke then blew it out. How her slender fingers capped with light pink-painted nails trembled slightly but kept hold of the cigarette. After another minute, the creases in her forehead disappeared.

Lauren's foot bumped mine under the table. She tipped her chin at me when I faced her. I wanted to deny her just to give her something genuine to pout about, but I tapped out two more cigarettes, handed her one, and lit us both up. She turned and rested against the wall, her right arm propped up on the top of the chair back, supporting her head while she stared out at something in the room beyond, occasionally taking a drag or tapping off ashes with her left hand.

Music thumped in the distance, matching the beating of my heart. Three different tendrils of smoke swirled and merged around the light sconce illuminating our table. I studied my coworker for another moment longer then shifted my attention back to Kat.

I noticed that she alternated between closing her eyes and fixing them on the table. I couldn't help following the lines of her throat...her face. Her hair was drying into waves, and my fingers itched to tame the few flyaway strands. To bury completely in her locks while my lips caressed hers.

I moaned softly at that thought and took a long drag myself to steady my nerves. God, I still have it bad for her. Even though she's engaged. No...wait...not anymore, she isn't.

Still...

"We went to school years ago," I heard myself saying, feeling guilty at my thoughts as though I'd expressed them aloud. I tapped off the ashes and tipped the end of my cigarette at Kat, swirling the straw in my drink for a moment with my other hand before throwing back a big swig of the alcohol. The fruit juice-alcohol combination bit the back of my throat after it mixed with the remnants of nicotine on my tongue. "Kat was a bookworm, like me. But she was so much better at it than I ever was. Teacher's pet and all that."

Kat raised her head and blinked at me. "I was not! I couldn't help it if they liked me."

My smile grew, though sad memories filled my head with the good ones. "Everyone liked you."

"Everyone but Tim Jacobs," Kat said with a soft snort.

I followed the movements of her hand as she raised the cigarette to her mouth to take another drag—the end of the stick glowing a mean orange-red at the deepness of her inhale. Her shiny lips parted, releasing a stream of smoke. Then her words registered in my lust-filled brain, and I rolled my eyes. "He was a jerk. Still is. You're better off without him."

"Oh, you keep in touch with him?" Kat's voice held a hint of what sounded like hope, but in that way that was always an attempt to be nonchalant although it never really quite was. She finally tasted her drink, cringing slightly but taking a second sip before her eyes drifted closed.

I watched the smoothness of her throat as she swallowed, and something deep inside me stirred. If she only knew what she did to me, even after all these years. I was right. I would probably never get over her.

I took a sip of my drink and licked my lips before admitting, "He's my boss."

Kat coughed suddenly, spraying the table with her drink before she clamped her mouth shut.

Lauren actually laughed, which made me frown. For some reason, I was sure her reaction was due to Kat's episode, not my comment. Although, Lauren did hand over the cocktail napkin that had been under her glass. "Here."

Kat blotted her mouth, still coughing. "He's your boss? Damn."

I couldn't help laughing now, too. "Yep. Cruel world, isn't it?"

"Men! Who needs them?" Kat said, shaking her head. Then her eyes widened with a soft gasp. "Sorry, preaching to the choir, I guess."

I smiled at the sudden rosiness of her cheeks. God, she was beautiful.

"Preach it, sister." Lauren clinked her glass against Kat's and then mine, her eyes sparkling at me over the rim when she took a sip. She seemed to have relaxed, maybe thinking Kat wasn't an actual threat.

Over the time that I'd known her, Lauren had made no advances toward me except that brief kiss on my cheek in Paris. And I hadn't shown her any special treatment that should indicate I saw her as anything more than a good friend. At least not to my knowledge. But Brad had warned me more than once that his sister could be determined when she set her mind on something...or someone. Maybe even obsessive.

I hadn't been interested in anyone since Beth, and Chloe was just a fling. One I hadn't even told Lauren about because it was none of her business. No one had shown me any interest, either. Yet, if I thought about it now, all of my free time had been spent at Maggie's...with Lauren.

Knowing how the clientele here were usually respectful of any couples who visited but were also quick to try to rope anyone who entered alone, that could explain why no one ever approached me. The first time I'd come here, I was with Celene. All subsequent times had been with her, too. And since she'd left, I'd always arrived with Lauren after work.

Huh. Does everyone think Lauren and I are together?

I should have been upset with that possibility. Or at least mad at myself for being too blind to see it sooner. But I really hadn't wanted to hook up with anyone. Not at least until now.

The three of us chatted well into the night, mostly about what we'd been up to since high school. We emptied my cigarette pack that had been mostly full, and I lost count of how many rounds we ordered. I realized the more she drank, the more Kat opened up. I could have listened to her talk for days. Which was entirely plausible since she'd revealed she was on vacation the following week.

She cried a few times when she told us how she had met Danny. How he had proposed. Broken up with her. My heart ached for her...for me. We were two of a kind, unlucky in love.

Eventually, Brad announced last call. The patrons slowly trickled out and the lights came up, making me wince at the sudden brightness.

Kat leaned on my shoulder, my arm around her when we made our way to the door and back upstairs to street level to catch a cab. She blinked slowly at me after all three of us had crawled into the backseat together and I asked her where she lived. Her answer was clear, and she said she was fine. But her slow smile and half-lidded eyes told me she was going to be hurting tomorrow. Both from a hangover and heartbreak once she remembered what had happened tonight.

I wanted to walk her up once we stopped outside her brownstone. But Kat was out of the cab and shutting the door before I even had a chance to make the offer. A lump filled my throat and a plan came together in my head while I watched her climb the steps. I wasn't letting her get away that easily. Not this time.

###

I barely slept. When I did, my dreams were of strange people asking me to prove I loved them. Of me crying that I only ever wanted a cat and my mother telling me no, we couldn't have one on the military base. I woke in a sweat, panting. The moon was still high in the sky when I stumbled to the window to pry it open and get some fresh air.

I went back to bed. But though my eyes were closed, my thoughts were jumbled with grocery lists and lawsuit details and worries that I was stupid for wanting to try to win Kat's heart for myself. Deep down, I knew at least that I had to try. If she denied me, I would walk away, as much as I felt that would destroy me. I just had to know for sure.

My back ached when I woke again, and I was glad to see that the sun was starting to peek between the buildings opposite my apartment. A shower and two cups of coffee later, I paced my living room, glancing at the clock. Was it too early to call on her?

After fretting for almost forty-five minutes, I headed to the market closest to Kat's place, practically running up the stone steps leading to the entrance to her brownstone, my purchases by my side. My free hand shook when I reached out to the panel of buttons by the metal-framed glass doors. I clenched my fingers, took a deep breath that did nothing to calm my nerves, and tried again.

There was a distant buzzing sound, but then nothing else happened. I checked my watch. It was after nine, but maybe she was still sleeping off the effects used to drown her misery. If so, she deserved the break from reality for however long it lasted.

I was still considering whether to leave or press the button next to 'Jenkins, K.' on the panel again when the door in front of me made a clicking sound followed by a buzz. I grabbed one of the handles and let myself into the lobby. Which had two doors and a staircase.

The panel outside had not had any apartment numbers, nor did the metal row of mailboxes adorning the wall to my left. Of course, I didn't have her phone number, either. Shit.

I was turning to ring her button again when a man entered from outside.

"Excuse me, sir. Do you know which one is Katrina—"

"Number four, upstairs."

My thanks died on my lips as he hurried past me and disappeared through the first door on the right. I shook my head and ascended to the second floor, rapping on the door with a gold number four affixed above a peephole before I lost my nerve.

The door opened to reveal Kat in the same clothes I had last seen her in, her hair down around her shoulders. Both were slightly rumpled. And fucking sexy.

If you look like that on a bad morning, be still my heart.

Aloud, I just said, "Hey."

She pressed her hand to her temple, her eyebrows furrowing for a moment while she stared at me.

"Are you going to invite me in, or are you just a tease?" I bit the inside of my cheek for being so brazen and narrowed my eyes. "Looks like I'm just in time."

She stepped back and slowly closed the door once I'd passed. "Sorry, I must have pressed the wrong button."

Her apartment had an open floorplan with a decent sized living room and a kitchen with a small island dividing the two spaces. I made a beeline for the latter.

"You didn't want to let me in?" I glanced at her over my shoulder with a smile while I unpacked the contents of the bag.

"Yes. No." She shook her head. "I mean I didn't know it was you."

She was so adorable. Please, God, please. Let this work.

"You are a tease. Interesting." I put my hand on my hip and looked around the kitchen. There were several cabinets. I didn't know where I would even start. I turned back to her. "Do you have a martini shaker?"

"Sorry. How about a blender?" She pointed to a mini cabinet that looked like a garage door situated in the corner on one counter then sat down on the other side of the island, facing me.

There was a soft curse behind me while I located the appliance. It looked almost brand new. At least that meant it probably worked. What better time than the present to use it? I found a spoon in the drawer next to the sink and got to work.

Kat's fingers were tapping noiselessly on the counter, and she was worrying her lower lip. I'd smoked enough to know the signs when someone was nervous, craving a fix to calm down. And she was out of cigs if the empty bowl nearby was any evidence.

I poured the small bottle of tomato juice into the blender, spooned some horseradish from a jar, and added several shakes of Worcestershire sauce and tobacco sauce. After some celery salt, garlic salt, and pepper, the final ingredient—vodka—joined the mixture.

Now for some ice. I opened the freezer and took a good handful out, glancing back at Kat. I felt my forehead furrow at the sight of the dark circles under her eyes. "Did you get any sleep?"

"I remember you dropping me off last night and then waking up this morning on my bed. So I must have slept."

Hmm. It had probably done her as much good as it had done me. "Why don't you go take a shower?"

She cringed. "Do I smell that bad?"

"No, but a hot shower does help with a hangover. Now, shoo." I wiggled my fingers at her and raised an eyebrow when she obeyed.

Once she disappeared into the bedroom where I assumed she had access to a bathroom, I pressed my palms against the countertop and tried to stop the wheezing that suddenly overcame me.

I was actually in Kat's apartment. Standing in her kitchen. Making her a fucking Bloody Mary...all because I'd helped get her drunk the night before. Geesh, what a lousy friend I was turning out to be.

Friend. I scoffed at that word. I didn't want to be her friend. At least, not just. And I suddenly felt horrible inside for wanting something so much more than that.

What had I been thinking? She meant too much for me to take advantage of her misery when all she needed was someone to show her sympathy. To comfort her.

I finished mixing the Bloody Mary and poured it over some ice then set it out by the chair she had vacated. I was considering that maybe I should just leave when my cell phone rang. The caller ID said it was Tim. Shit.

I took the call, trying not to swear aloud when Tim asked me to come in around eleven to go over some paperwork. He was rambling about some numbers when I saw Kat walking down the hall in sweats and a sweater. Her damp hair hung loose around her face, and I could suddenly recall how it had felt to run my fingers through the wet strands last night. A moan tried to inch its way up my throat, but I stomped it down. I pointed to the drink on the counter...and raised my eyebrows when she picked up the glass, sniffed it, and took a big gulp. Well, that was one way to do it.