Incidental Indiscretions

"Ooh Honey, you're so good to me," I smiled when his hands kneaded and fondled my jugs.

"You want more, Baby?" He asked, as I felt the hands slide down my trim tummy. Fingers massaged my mons, before parting my tender lips.

"OH GOD YES!" I exclaimed as one finger split my labia and went directly to my clit. Fully expecting him to somehow duplicate his tried-n-true clitoral technique, my entire body tensed in anticipation. Hands on my heaving chest again, tugging and twisting my nipples. "How's he doing all of that? Wait, that's not his finger on my clit, that's his tongue!" I concluded.

Trapped in the reality that there were now two guys suddenly fucking me I sublimated and gave in to the lust. Feeling the stranger's tongue on my lips, I hastily sucked it in my mouth. Always a girl proud of making a good first impression, I eagerly sucked the larger-than-expected salty muscle hard and deep. He grunted, as I was able to suction the tip of it into my throat. Several more minutes of playing tongue tag coupled with Donny's expert tongue work on my aroused clit, not to mention Hank's Crank up my butt, and I was accelerating at warp speed to a mega climax.

Withdrawing his long tongue, the stranger soon replaced it with his hot, hard cock. His sweaty manhood was every bit as long as my husband's dick, but with a much wider girth. This difference was compelling, but also telling. Adjusting my throat accordingly, I gave into his deep thrusts and took it all. The now pungent smell of grass and perspiration was a dead giveaway. Only one asshole in the neighborhood would be up mowing his lawn before 10A.M. on the weekend. It had to be Kenny. Mr. Hairyass himself; Porge's father and Marge's faithful hubby was having his wicked way with me.

Fortunately, I figured his identity at the same exact moment Donny's tongue and Hank's Crank helped me to reach lift off. Dipping my head to one side to avert Kenny's next thrust, I screamed, "I'M COMING!" Thrashing up and down and side to side, I was definitely getting into these extended orgasms. Slamming my ass against the bed had the desired effect of ramming Hank further up my ass, but I desperately needed to be pussy-fucked. "GOD Donny, I need your cock in me...NOW! Give it TO me! Oh PLEASE... GOD, I'm coming so hard!"

"Okay...okay Baby," he finally replied, but I could tell from the disparaging tone of his voice he wasn't up to the task. This time I was sure both ends of the mattress moved. That's when I detected frantic whispers.

"That wasn't part of the deal," I heard Donny's voice.

"So what, Man. Just look at her; she wants it bad." Kenny observed.

"Tell ya what, while you two figure things out, could you untie these. My arms and legs are going numb," I stated between gyrations. Even they must have known by that point I was fully aware that Mr. Pudgy Hairyass had joined us.

Relieved of the ropes at my wrists and ankles I peeled up the edge of the blindfold. That's when I spied Kenny's unshaven face closing in on me.

"Guess, I never realized what beautiful blue eyes you have," he whispered.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," I responded and reached up to reset the blindfold. Running my hands down his tattered t-shirt soaked with perspiration, I pulled it up to his extended arms. Spreading my legs beneath his chunky frame, I reached to draw his ear close. "Put it in me now, before I have any more second thoughts," I whispered.

"But Baby, that wasn't part of the deal," Donny started, as I felt our neighbor's full, wide cock splitting my labia.

"Oh really?" I asked rhetorically, as my vaginal walls expanded to accept his eager boner.

"Yeah, see Kenny said a while back how good you were looking," my Hubby continued. "I said, 'Yeah Man, NO Shit--you should see her in the buff. She's a total fox!'" He said "Sure, I'd pay big bucks to see her naked!"

Listening casually to my husband's lame story with his friend's cock buried in my pussy seemed like the ultimate irony. "Here, let's get rid of this for a second," I whispered and slowly withdrew Hank's Crank from my ass. "Jesus, Honey, you're damn near as wide as Hank," I mentioned before slinging my toned legs up and around Kenny's waist.

"Who's Hank?" Kenny asked, as his thick, short pole went into drilling mode.

"Never mind Kenny, just fuck me, yeeeah!" I cooed.

Donny rambled on, "...So I said I would arrange things, with a blindfold and everything so he could get a good look at my incredibly sexy wife. But the deal was he would just get a look--not get..."

"Get fucked?" I yelled and grabbed a chunk of Kenny's hairy ass.

"Right! That was NOT the deal, Damn It!" Donny countered, as he stroked and choked his own chicken.

"Sounds to me like you lucked out Kenny," I smiled through my blindfold as he jacked my legs up to forcibly ram my saturated hole deeper.

"NO SHIT!" Kenny agreed and grabbed my swinging tits. Through fate or good fortune, Kenny was celebrating the holidays early with his neighbor's obliging wife. No doubt he was going for all the trimmings.

"Come on, Man; I think that's enough!" Donny said with a degree of warning in his voice.

"I think THAT is up to the young lady. How 'bout it, Beautiful, you had enough?" Kenny asked, running a bit low on air intake.

I reached up and tore off the blindfold. "Tell ya what, you guys can play your silly voyeur games, but here's the REAL deal. This 'young' lady is just getting started!" I laughed, pulled my leg to one side and kicked Kenny's shoulder until he pulled away. Shoving him back against the mattress, I quickly maneuvered around to straddle his face and savor that long nasty tongue of his. Pulling Donny by his ankle, I had him line up opposite but parallel to us. This way I had access to both of their cocks.

Reaching back to spread my cheeks, I trained Kenny's tongue on my asshole. Just as his son (Porgy) was talented at the fine art of cunnilingus, I found his father equally gifted at tonguing ass. Leaning down I jacked and sucked them both until they damn near exploded in unison.

Climbing off my perch on Kenny's face, I left them to clean up their own mess. "So Donny, you never did say how YOU benefited from this so-called deal?" I inquired, heading for the bathroom.

"Oh yeah... he said he'd mow my lawn," my disgruntled, yet somewhat satisfied hubby answered.

I broke into a wave of laughter. Once the irony of his answer subsided, I remarked, "Well I hope for your sake he trims the sucker too," I added, before flinging my third finger at both of them.

[In retrospect]

Just my luck, the closest I would ever come to ever having an out-of-body experience, and it's sexually based. Oh well, c'est la vie. Actually, if the whole sordid episode accomplished anything at all, I found that I no longer had an innate fear of being constrained or tied up -- HA! After a long cleansing shower, I dressed to do some work in the garden. Outfitted in my tight tube top and super short denim cutoffs, I reached for a ringing phone before heading outside. It was Marge looking for Kenny. I let her know he and Donny were working on the lawn; then asked her how her afternoon with Josh went the other day.

I'm sure she cupped the phone to share her gossip. She admitted the new camera ploy was a ruse to get Josh to the park [wow, talk about a revelation], where she could hopefully entertain her perceptions. She went into explicit detail of how she unsuccessfully tried to seduce him in the park. Giving up on the great outdoors, she somehow talked him into taking her to the Majestic (our local x-rated theatre). "God Barb, I got his thing out and jacked it for 20 minutes before he even got hard. Personally, I think you were wrong, thinking he was into mature women," she concluded.

Trying my best not to snicker at her misfortune, I excused his behavior, "He must have been sick or something, Marge. I mean, what healthy boy at the peak of his hormones could ever be turned off by YOU?" I indulged. She ate it up. I made some curt excuse about working in the garden and reminded her of our upcoming Luau, to end the conversation.

After working up a sweat in the garden I came back inside the back porch to the all-too-familiar sound of camera clicks. "Oh God Josh, don't get me like this. I'm a total skuzz bucket," I brushed my hair back and smiled into his lens for another click or two.

"Hell Mom, the guys I know only wish their moms looked as good after working in the garden," Josh complimented.

"Hmm, which guys?" I winked, and pinched his tight ass in passing.

Aloha Hoy! +++++

Forsaking another company bar-be-que, I decided a Hawaiian Luau might be more fun this year. With the annual bash only a weekend away, I scurried to make sure the house was in order. Considering last year's spotty attendance, I talked Donny into downsizing for a more intimate party. He seemed perfectly happy with inviting just the immediate office staff: Kenny, Marge, MJ and Rick, her new husband from California. The word that hangs in my brain was "intimate". We had yet to meet Rick, so Donny also instructed, "We need to make a good impression on him."

"Why Honey, don't I ALWAYS make a good first impression?" I smiled, shaking my hooters slightly for effect.

"Yes Dear, sorry I even mentioned it," Donny rolled his eyes.

The day of the party flew by, with all sorts of last-minute stuff to do. Putting the finishing touches on a bright-colored centerpiece, I heard the doorbell. "Oh my God, they're early... I'm not even dressed!" I wrung my hands.

"Don't sweat it, Barb. That's just Kenny and Marge; they're always early," Donny confirmed and headed to the front door. "Go ahead and dress. I'll get it." I flew upstairs and quickly dressed for our Luau-themed party.

Slipping out of my jeans and top, I put on a brand new white string bikini with matching sarong, and double-checked my memory. "Kids are both gone on overnighters, the hot tub is clean and ready, food's ready, fancy glasses with umbrellas... yep, I think that's about it," I said aloud while tying the sarong to hang low on my hips. A hairbrush, some added lip gloss, a big white flower stuck above my ear; and I was suddenly the dark-tanned Princess Leilani [or is it lay-on-me?].

Another ring of the bell meant MJ and Rick must have arrived. "Must make a good first impression! Must make..." I repeated and slipped into a brand new pair of strappy elevated sandals, before scampering down the stairs to get the door. A fleeting glance in the glare of the glass front door, I swung it open.

"Hi, you must be Rick; how nice to meet you!" I smiled and caught my breath.

Smiling broadly at the tall handsome blond-haired man in his mid-thirties, I held out my hand. He took it and returned my smile. Dressed in a broad printed off-the-rack floral Hawaiian shirt, shorts and sandals, he spoke, "...and you must be... Barb?" He quizzed keeping a firm grip on my hand.

"Uh yeah, Barb--that's ME!" I finally replied and led him across the threshold.

"You're surely not Donny's Barb? I was told she was... shall we say, I expected an older woman with some extra padding." He drew me close to whisper.

"Nope, sorry to say, we got rid that fat 'ole thing months ago!" I quipped, leaning back into him.

"Well, it IS exciting to meet YOU. But, something you should know," he began, keeping his arm around me.

Learning back to check his expression, he continued. "I do believe there is a ten-year-old island boy hiding in your bikini."

"Oh really, how do you know that?" I schmoozed.

"Well, for one thing I can see his ass, and he appears to be aching for a spanking" Rick's eyes never strayed from my tanned cleavage.

"Oh, you're smooth; haven't heard that one before," I winked. "Speaking of... well, never mind, where's your better half?" I asked looking past him.

Finally releasing my hand, he explained that the two of them had a close call on the drive over--nearly hitting a child, and MJ was still outside in the car. I ushered Rick into the kitchen to meet Donny, Kenny and Marge, before returning to the front to see about MJ. Hanging her head in a pair of nervous hands, MJ was still obviously shaken by the near accident.

"Oh, Barb," she gathered herself enough to stare up at me from the open car door. With dark mascara smudged on her face and hands, her mouth quivered as she described the close call.

Apparently a five-year-old had jumped out in front of them at a stop sign and the car came within inches of hitting him, as it screeched to a halt. Empathizing with her emotional response, I was somewhat taken at how affected she was. Her large stature and usually formidable personality generally exuded a dominating, take-charge creature that prided herself on "not taking shit off nobody." This was a complete and unexpected change. Perhaps she DOES have an Achilles heel?

"Well, come on, Babe. We can't sit out here all day. Come on inside. I have just the thing to calm you down. Besides, have you seen a mirror?" I slowly smiled.

She quickly glanced first at me, and then into the rear view mirror, and back at me, "Oh My GOD! Let's go!" She was suddenly up, slammed the car door, and we headed to the house. When it comes to some women and their makeup, nothing short of an earthquake can stand in their way. This was especially true in this brunette's case. Still hiding her face as we entered the house, I pointed her upstairs to our bedroom. She continued to obsess about the near wreck, as she stood at our bathroom mirror and went to work on her entire face.

"Excuse me," I broke in and opened the vanity behind the mirror. "Here they are," I said and poured two Valiums in her open hand. "I don't take these little beauties probably as often as I could, but I'm sure they'll work wonders for you," I added and handed her a glass of water to wash them down.

"Okay Barb, if you say so. I don't usually take drugs, but I trust you, thanks," she remarked and gulped them both down.

"Yeah well, I don't know about that, but anyway... you probably shouldn't drink with them," I advised like the resident pharmacist I was-NOT!

"Damn, I was looking forward to tying one on tonight!"

The term "vanity" seemed to take on its true sense of purpose, as the six foot glamazon continued to skillfully revitalize her facial hardware. "Damn Girl, you really are gifted at that!" I noted, as she expertly applied excess amounts of eye shadow and mascara. She politely smiled and proudly batted her long lashes in agreement.

"Well, some of us aren't natural beauties, like you, Barb."

"Natural beauty? Give me a break! At my age, I'm lucky to simply paint some eyebrows on without looking like an escaped Barnum & Bailey clown," I laughed.

"Nonsense, you look great," MJ said, giving her thick lips a full waxing of deep red gloss. "Maybe just add a little shadow..." she started.

"Hey, I'm up for any hints from a true artist," I said, keenly watching her handiwork.

"Well then, let's DO it; whatcha say?"

Just then Rick bolted into the bathroom in the tightest pair of bicycle trunks I've ever seen. "Do what? Hey, you two gonna rub uglies? Can I watch!"

"You WISH--Asshole," MJ shot back.

"I was just checking on the two hottest chicks here. Here, wanna fancy-ass drink?" Rick said, handing a tall fluted glass of who-the-hell-knows-what to MJ. She took it, but right before taking a drink, she froze.

"No, Barb said I should hold off on the alcohol," she stated.

"YOU, not drinking--what the hell?" He laughed.

"Well...maybe just a sip," she grimaced and took a healthy swallow. "Umm, that's GOOD! This could be hard," she added.

Rick slid up next to her and shoved his pelvis against her hip. "It's already hard, Babe."

MJ shook her ass against him and then pulled away sharply. "Get that fugly thing outta here. You and your California humor; you're such a tease," she said, letting her artificially darkened eyes lower to his crotch.

Bouncing back a few steps, he felt obliged to come up from behind me. Laying his hands on my hips, he edged closer. Catching my expression in the mirror, he lightly rubbed his erection against my ass. "Man talk about Cleavage Central! This is certainly a memorable meeting of massive mammaries, folks," Rick declared, checking our nearly identical pairs of harnessed half-moons straining to escape.

"Stop it now, Rick! You're embarrassing me in front of our host," she said, but without an expected amount of conviction.

"Am I embarrassing you, Barb?" He nudged my neck, letting his lower lip glide along my collar bone. Watching his pseudo seduction in the mirror, instead of pulling away, I leaned my head back to see if he'd take the bait.

"Hey, I'm having fun--doesn't bother me," I said, as he slyly licked my bare shoulder.

"Ya know, Barb here reminds me a lot of a girl I met in Cal, back in the 70's. Now what was her name... Dee Dee or Dawn something?"

"Barb, pay no attention to him. Every woman he meets reminds him of some Southern Californian porn star," MJ rolled her eyes.

"Hey, not EVERY woman, just the really hot ones; like Barb. Now, why can't I recall that girl's name? I was doing some engine work for Ranger. That's it I was rebuilding a carburetor for Mike Ranger and he introduced me to Dawn... Dawn... KNUDSEN! Cute little Swedish girl... LONG blonde hair like yours, as I recall, blue eyes, just like yours; and big hooters... kinda weird though, she had inverted nipples -- HA!"

"Well, I suppose I should take that as a compliment; never been compared to a 70's porn star," I laughed. "I mean without the inverted nipples," I suggested.

"NO, yours are definitely NOT inverted!" Rick stated, quickly reaching from behind to cup my tits and lightly rub my rather extended nipples.

"Rick, you're such a prick. You know what I always say?" She pointed her question at me. I shrugged. "Blondes may have more fun, but brunettes get it done," she quoted like it was something she had read once etched in marble. I giggled appropriately.

"Now, get the hell outta here, while we get dressed. We ARE going to hot tub it, aren't we Barb?"

"Absolutely!" I assured her.

"We'll see YOU d-downstairs," MJ commanded.

Rick surreptitiously squeezed my ass and obediently left. When MJ went for her purse, I likewise headed for the door to let her dress. "He can be such an ass, but I love him," she said, as I reached for the door. "Hey wait, I didn't mean YOU, Barb. We need to fix those eyes, right?" She reminded me.

"Oh yeah, sure!" I responded and sat on the edge of the bed while she unpacked a colorful outfit.

"I'll bet Donny doesn't treat you like that," she said rhetorically.

"Like what?" [This could get interesting.]

"You know: the lesbian thing, swinging, other s-shit...you know? God, I think those pills are working. I think I'm s-slurring my words--HA!"

"Yep, I think you are," I grinned.

"Wow! It's not like getting d-drunk, but boy I AM relaxed, hmm," she gave in to the chemicals and flopped down on the other edge of the bed.

"You were saying..."

"Oh yeah, swinging lesbians, right? See, h-he knows I hate lesbians. I mean I'm a real homophobic, or whatever ya call it about carpet munchers. I can't help it--I just am. I guess that's why we're not into that whole swinging thing. He's always talking about doing it with another couple and I KNOW he just wants to see me get it on with some fuckin' chick," she was definitely relaxed. [What better time to prime the pump.]

Truths Be Told +++++

"So, you don't mind swinging with an extra guy?" I lead her.

"Oh hell NO. I've done that a ton... I mean, I can do that 'til the cows come home--HA!"

"Well, I guess he needs to know that," I suggested, tongue-in-cheek.

"Oh he knows--HE KNOWS! Hell, that's how I fucking met him!"

"Oh really?"