Lost in Texas Ch. 02

"Why doesn't that make me feel any better?" said Alice in a sob. Heather understood. There were too many "most-likely's" and "probably's" involved to comfort them. Shit, she wanted God Almighty to come down and assure her that Jane was going to be okay.

"And before you two say what's coming next, she doesn't want anyone to change their plans. She wants you," Heather continued, looking at Alice, "to go home and deal with your family." She looked over at Laurie. "And she wants you to keep your promise to visit your folks so you can come visit her," she said with a slight break in her voice, "over Christmas when she'll be back at home."

"It's not fair," Laurie mumbled. "You get to go be with her."

"That WAS my plan, so I'm not changing anything. It just means I have to drive to Dallas instead. Her parents and brother are already on their way." None of the girls had met Jane's family, though she spoke of them fondly and had pictures of them on her desk. Her parents were rich from both oil and cattle, and her older brother John was a broker on Wallstreet. He was married and had three kids. Jane absolutely adored her nephew and her two nieces. Heather had apparently hired a "local" man to look after the horses and ranch for a while.

"Promise me right now," said Laurie in a strained voice, "that you will call me each and every single day to let me know how things are going. Otherwise . . . otherwise I'll be really put out." Heather smiled a tired smile and hugged her girlfriend before drawing Alice into the embrace as well.

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A week later . . .

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The next week went by agonizingly slow. Each of the girls felt as if her movements were restricted by mud and her vision was bound by fog. Laurie and Alice were both wanting to cancel their plans to go, but a second call from Freddie has reiterated Jane's desire that they continue with their current plans, as well as the fact that the surgery would have begun long before they could make it down. Heather drove Alice to the bus stop on Friday afternoon the week before Thanksgiving, promising to call her. Then she took Laurie to the airport that evening. That parting was awkward for both of them. Not only because of the situation with Jane, but because it was the first time they would have been apart that long since they started dating. A number of kisses were exchanged just before Laurie boarded her flight. Heather made a joke about boarding "Plight 842," referencing a verbal error she had made once down on the ranch. With her two friends on their ways home, Heather jumped in her car and headed for Dallas.

The trip was long and lonely, and finding the right hospital in the vast DFW metroplex was no small feat. Jane had gone into the OR that morning, a fact which weighed heavily on Heather' mind the entire trip. When she hauled her tired and sore carcass into the visitor parking in the hours before dawn, she was only still moving due to the imbibing of a tremendous amount of black coffee. It occurred to her that visiting hours were long over, but maybe she could at least find out where Jane's room was before finding some sort of accommodations. She staggered in the front doors, only to find Michelle sitting in the Lobby. The powerful woman seemed barely conscious when Heather wandered up and nudged her shoulder. Michelle's eyes shot open under her ten-gallon hat. She looked up, saw Heather and almost crushed the young girl with a bear-like hug. Michelle's eyes were blood-shot and she seemed pale.

"What happened?" Heather asked, even more concerned than before. "Jane . . ."

"The surgery went fine," Michelle whispered, sinking back into her chair. Her hands were visibly trembling as she placed them against her face and rubbed her eyes. "The doctors sounded mighty confident about her recovery." Heather sat down and put her arm over the woman's shoulders as Michelle continued speaking. "Freddie went back to the hotel with her folks and her brother. I told 'em I'd wait here 'til you snuck in. Figured you'd come here first."

"I didn't even think about how late it would be."

"She won't be ready for visitors until day after tomorrow. Actually, I keep forgetting that today is tomorrow, so we can see her tomorrow. They want to keep an eye on 'er today. But we . . . we'll be able to watch her through the glass." Heather moved to hold the muscular woman's head as the tears began to fall. "Through the fuckin' glass . . . ," Michelle continued.

Heather had no idea what to do or say. Michelle had been as solid as a rock since she had met her, and seeing her vulnerable was a shock to the girl's system. She was one of the most physically gifted and powerful women . . . hell, powerful PEOPLE she had ever met. But Michelle was helpless, and that feeling of helplessness was killing her. The hospital staff just wandered by. This sort of behavior was old news to them.

When Michelle had finally regained control, she pulled a handkerchief from her shirt pocket and blew noisily into it. Completely unrefined, that was the Michelle that Heather had come to know and love.

"Gawd," Michelle muttered. "Think I'd never been in a hospital before, the way I was carryin' on and such."

Heather looked at her. "Listen, if there's anything you want to talk about . . . I mean, I know you and Freddie have probably talked and all but . . ."

"She's such a trooper," Michelle said. "I don't know why I'm such a mess. Doctors told me they've done this a million times. But I still worry . . ."

"You worry because it's Jane and because you love her," Heather said. "She'll pull through just fine. You've got to believe that."

"I do. Believe me I do," Michelle said, staring off into space. "It's just . . . Before the surgery, she called her lawyer in. She didn't . . . doesn't much care for lawyers, but this one is a stand-up kinda guy. She was so fuckin' calm and poised. You know, like she always is. She called me in to be a witness when she signed her friggin' last will and testament." The big woman sniffed. "Ever seen somethin' like that?" Heather could only shake her head, causing Michelle to go on. "Someone takes an ordinary piece of paper and writes down what they think their life is worth. It's like making a deal with Death. How do you do somethin' like that?"

"She did it now because she didn't want you to have to deal with it later. I can't even imagine how you feel right now, but even Jane won't live forever."

"I know," said Michelle. "But it was different, you know? There's a difference between knowin' in your heart that everyone has to go someday and puttin' it down in stone for the world to see. It was like I was signin' away her life. And even though everyone's sayin' she's gonna be fine, I keep thinkin' back to that moment."

Heather hugged her friend again and kissed her on the cheek. "Let's get you back to the hotel. Freddie's probably worried sick about you." With that, she led Michelle out of the hospital lobby.

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After a morning's sleep . . .

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Coming back that afternoon was hard for Heather. Their access to Jane was limited, only being able to see her through a glass window. But Heather also found herself almost relieved. The woman didn't seem to look as bad as she had been expecting. You never would have convinced Freddie and Michelle of that as they pestered every doctor or nurse that wandered by about what was going on. Heather was actually worried that Michelle was going to hurt the anesthesiologist for not knowing something completely unrelated to his field. Luckily Freddie was able to get her calmed down before security had to be called. Michelle eventually apologized, and the man proved to be a good sport.

When Heather arrived, she met Jane's family for the first time. Her parents were actually very sweet people in their sixties who rarely left sight of their only daughter. They did take the time to thank Heather for driving down, but spent most of their time discussing medical and other matters with Michelle and Freddie. Heather thought it was funny to watch. Jane might not have been married to either of her girlfriends, but the group treated each other like in-laws. Heather used a calling card to get a hold of Alice and Laurie to let them know how things were going. Heather promised to call them every day, or if anything changed.

Subsequent looks showed no trace of the tumor, and Jane's health was slowly but steadily improving. She wasn't really conscious yet, but the doctors had warned them all that such would be the case. They didn't want her coming out too rapidly after that kind of surgery. With Heather and Freddie focused on Jane, Heather spent a lot of time talking with Jane's brother. John was considerably more laid-back than she expected him to be. She had heard that those Wallstreet types were nothing but nerves. John was a big guy, six feet four and built like a linebacker, which he had indeed been back in college. The two of them spent a lot of time in the hospital cafeteria, throwing back the strongest coffee the hospital staff could brew and talking about everything from cars to financial advice.

"Got a question for you," said Heather.

"Shoot."

"What was she like as a kid? Jane I mean? Seriously, was she just born brilliant or what?"

John grinned. "You noticed that too? Imagine how I felt. My baby sister graduated high school before I did. Think I didn't get teased about that?" They shared a laugh. "Yeah, actually I think she was born smart. She had the whole 'Santa Clause isn't real' thing figured while most kids were still writing letters to the North Pole. She was always a reading level or two or three ahead of anyone else in her classes. But she loved to play too. She was one of the meanest kickball players I've ever seen. But even then, she was thinking about the strategy of the game. This was in elementary school. And she always had a small group of friends that followed her around like she was the messiah or something."

"Yeah, like that's changed," said Heather, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"She's got something about her, that's for sure. At seventeen years old, she told us all that she was gay. Normally you'd think that would shock the parents or that they would try and argue she was too young to know for sure what she wanted. Our parents didn't even blink. They'd given up trying to control or predict Jane, and were just happy for her in everything she did. Sixteen was the age she graduated high school. In college, she managed to overlap enough electives that she was able to get three undergraduate degrees in five years. And she took maximum hours every semester. She loved knowing things, and the more things the better." A shadow passed over his face, and Heather noticed.

"What? What happened next?"

"I don't know. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say academia got to her. When she got into graduate school, all her professors and contemporaries were telling her how smart she was, particularly for someone so young. I guess all those high-minded folks telling her how great she was finally convinced her. She was still a nice woman and I loved her, but she got a little snobby. It was like she believed her own hype. It didn't much help that she got two Master's degrees in three and a half years and her Doctorate in a year and a half. At twenty-six, she had more education than our entire family tree before her. But she didn't seem to love learning as much. It was more like she was obsessed; that she was competing with the entire world to see who was the smartest."

"I think she might have won, or at least tied," joked Heather. That made John smile.

"Maybe. But the fire just wasn't there anymore. She did her post-doc work and moved on to a professorship. She wrote her first book when she was twenty-nine. It was basically a historical look at the role of conspiracies and how they may or may not have shaped world politics. Her peers loved it. I fell asleep after the first ten pages. What can I say . . . history was never my favorite subject." He took another sip of coffee. "After that . . . well, she met Michelle. I take it you've heard the story from there?"

"Yeah."

"It was weird. The first time I saw those two together, which was before Jane met Freddie, you could see the difference. She was like a kid again. I actually visited her and saw my sister under her car changing her own oil, dirty as hell and having the time of her life. I always liked Michelle after that. Plus she's lots of fun to watch football with." He glanced at Heather. "So, Freddie told me some of the story. How do you fit in to all this."

Heather told him the story of her journey through Texas with Laurie and Alice, leaving out some of the juicier tidbits. John wasn't stupid. He'd probably figured out some of it. Heather concentrated on how Jane and Freddie helped her and Laurie get together and Alice's realization of her sexual identity.

"What is it about that ranch? Is it some kind of gay magnet?" Heather laughed. Just then, Freddie showed up, practically dragging Michelle with her.

"I told you that you need to eat," the beautiful young woman said to the amazon she was attempting to manhandle. And visiting hours are almost over anyway. Now sit here and I'll got get us some grub." Freddie deposited Michelle at the table next to John. John grinned and glanced over at her.

"So, when did you become Freddie's bitch?" he said.

Michelle sighed. Then she calmly stuck her hand against his arm and shoved him off his chair. Heather laughed harder than she had in a long time as John rubbed his now-sore hip and looked indignant. After a few seconds, even Michelle started to laugh, and laughter got louder when Freddie came back, looking incredibly confused.

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The next day . . .

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Heather had arrived early Saturday morning. By Monday, Jane's medications had been reduced enough that she was more awake than she had been before, but she wasn't too coherent yet. They were still keeping her sedated enough that she didn't move around too much. She opened her eyes a bit and she was obviously aware of what was going on around her. Her room wasn't very large, so she was only allotted two visitors at a time. One of her parents was always in the room with her, and all the others were able to cycle through one at a time. Each one of them tried to find something to talk to her about. Michelle told her all the stories that use to make her laugh, like the time when she was a rodeo clown and had the flu. She was hiding in a barrel from a very large bull that tipped the barrel over and rolled it all over the arena's floor. Michelle had thrown up all over herself and had to be helped out by a handsome young cowboy who was also the recipient of some of Michelle's vomit. The crowd had laughed a lot.

Freddie had grabbed the book that Jane had been reading while waiting for surgery and read it out loud. Her parents talked about what all the old family friends were up to. John discussed possible investments for her financial portfolio. Heather was watching through the glass, and she was sure that Jane tried to flip John off when he suggested trading what was left of her brain as a commodity on the New York Stock Exchange.

Heather's turn finally came. She was going to be the last visitor before the hours were up. Her parents were going to be allowed to stay, but everyone else had to go. So Jane's parents left to get something to eat, leaving the dark-haired nineteen-year-old girl alone with Jane. Heather just stared at her for a moment. She seemed gaunt, but there was some color returning to her cheeks. She wasn't as deathly still as when Heather had first seen her, but rather appeared to be sleeping. Her head was bandaged, and Heather found herself mourning the loss of Jane's hair. 'She had such pretty hair. Oh well,' she thought, 'it'll grow back.' She didn't have as much history with the woman as the others did. She started to talk about how things were going with Laurie and what all had happened regarding Alice and Jamie. She left out what she had done to discourage Jamie from going anywhere near Alice in the future. Even if she were unconscious, the elder woman probably wouldn't have approved. Heather found herself getting a little choked up. About then, Heather saw Michelle standing in the doorway and holding Heather's guitar case. Apparently she had retrieved it from Heather's car. Heather took it and opened the case. She took the instrument, making sure it was properly tuned. Heather glanced at Michelle again, whom just smiled and walked away. Heather struggled for a moment as she thought of what to sing. She decided to go with "A Devil and an Angel." It was the most complete of the original songs that Alice had written. And someone looking at the sleeping forms of people that Alice cared for had written it. It seemed appropriate. It was a slow song, but Heather put what she could into it without disturbing other patients. She finished just as her time was running out, so she put the guitar away. As she was locking it up, she heard something.

"Beautiful."

Heather's head shot up. One of Jane's eyes was open and was looking at her, hard and clear. Jane's mouth twitched then smiled. Then her eye closed again and Jane was back asleep. Heather got up and crept out of the room. She found herself face to face with the entire extended family, all of who were smiling. Jane's parents just hugged the breath out of her, then went inside to be with their daughter. She was then gang-hugged by Freddie, Michelle and John. Heather was a bit taken aback by it all. She hadn't really done anything special.

"So," said Michelle at last, "who's up for dinner?"

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Later that week . . .

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The next few days were better. Jane was able to stay awake and coherent for longer periods of time. She also was able to engage in conversation. These discussions were brief, but the doctor's seemed to feel that there had been no loss of memory of cognitive ability. Jane was still on painkillers and even this little bit of exertion tired her quickly. But she seemed to feel it necessary to remain awake for awhile with each of her visitors. Heather smiled at that. Even with tubes and monitors all around her, Jane had regained a very real and powerful sense of elegance and dignity. She wasn't a patient anymore. She was a queen holding court, one person at a time. Come Thanksgiving Day itself, all of them wished they could spend more time with her. Strangely, the hospital staff suddenly relented in their insistence on only two visitors at a time, moving Jane to a bigger room so that they could all visit her at once, at least for a while. Jane stayed awake and aware throughout the entire meal, though she still wasn't up to solid foods herself yet. She complained bitterly and at some length about the banal nature of the concoctions they gave her to drink. Yes, Jane was going to be just fine.

The following day, Heather was in for another surprise. Just before the end of visiting hours, she was standing in the hallway outside Jane's room when she heard a familiar voice around the corner.

"No . . . not James. Jane. Jane Voorhees. She's about this tall and very articulate. You're right, maybe that doesn't help find her. She's probably surrounded by a lot of lesbians . . ."

Heather poked her head around the corner. "Laurie?"

There was the blonde bombshell, in the warm, wonderful flesh. "Heather!" she shouted as she strode quickly down the hall and embraced her girlfriend, kissing her long and deep. "Am I too late? Can I still see her? Are you actually wearing lipstick that isn't black? Red looks good on you . . ."