Making the Grade Ch. 01

As I drove off, I honestly had no idea what I might decide, but I knew I wasn't ready to marry anyone. Seriously? Get married? WTF?

Chapter 6

My mom wasn't the badgering type but I could tell she wanted information. I didn't feel like talking about this with her and I couldn't lie to her. Call me a "mamma's boy" if you like but I just couldn't lie to my mother.

"So is everything okay with you and Karen?" my mom asked nonchalantly as she informed me she'd made pancakes for me.

"Oh sure. It's great, Mom. She just wanted to tell me she had a really good time last night. At the dance. You know."

"Okay. Well, I'm glad you had a nice time together. I didn't realize church dances lasted past midnight."

I knew Mom was fishing because she knew there was more to the story than I was telling. "We talked for a while after. She's really smart. I can't believe she has a PhD in chemistry."

"So your grades should up in chemistry after all the time you two must have spent discussing molecules and covalent bonding," Mom teased. "Speaking of grades, your progress report says you have a B in organic chemistry. Most parents would be thrilled with a B but for you, that's not good. Is everything okay in Mrs. Bentley's class this year?"

"Everything's fine, Mom. But I've thinking about asking for some help. Things are getting a lot more complicated lately." I didn't add "outside of the classroom" but that was the source of my study woes.

"Well, I'm sure she'd be happy to help, honey. She's one of the best teachers you've ever had. You're lucky to have someone like her." My heart skipped a beat at the thought of actually "having" Mrs. Bentley.

"Yes, she is. And don't worry. I'll talk to her this week, okay?"

I managed to steer clear of my mom the rest of the day and the subject didn't come up again before school Monday morning, and I was grateful for that. I left at 6:30 so I could get to the weight room before class. I really needed a good workout to take my mind off everything.

I tore it up in the gym which really helped with a lot of the frustration I was feeling. I was on my last set when Coach came by and said, "Benching 275. And ten reps on the last set. You can increase the weight next time, Cal. Keep it up. And hey, don't forget it's your turn to take out the trash today. Good work in here this morning." Taking out the trash was something Coach insisted was our responsibility, not the custodian's. It was no big deal. It was just that I'd just done a couple of extra sets and was running late. I didn't bother putting my shirt back on because I planned to toss the trash, hurry back, and shower before first period. I had the trash bag slung over my shoulder as I trotted toward the door. I flung it open, turned the corner, put my head down, and darted toward the back of the building. I heard, "Cal!" and looked up just in time to see Mrs. Bentley trying to jump out of my path. My shoulder brushed her arm as I instinctively tried to stop and move away from the voice.

"Sorry, Mrs. Bentley. I didn't expect to see anyone out here this early."

"No problem, Cal. I have duty in this section of campus all week. Watching for kids smoking or jumping the fence trying to escape. You know how the inmates are, right?" she teased. "You're in an awfully big hurry!"

"I wasted too much time in the gym and I gotta get this to the dumpster," I explained.

"I probably shouldn't say this but judging by appearances it seems you didn't 'waste' any time. I knew lifting was a part of your 'transitional routine' but I had no idea it was this...effective." Mrs. Bentley had a knack for being able to offer a compliment that made you feel good while maintaining her class and dignity.

"Thank you. I have been working really hard at it. It was nice to know someone who matters to me noticed." Mrs. Bentley smiled and raised an eyebrow in that "careful, there Mister" kind of way but I could tell she wasn't upset by what I said. I sat the trash bag down and as I looked up, I noticed she still was staring at my chest. As soon as my eyes met hers, she looked away as though she'd been caught doing something wrong.

"Now it's my turn to apologize. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare. But yes, I definitely noticed. How could I not?" she said smiling. "So, how was that first date?"

I hesitated before speaking. "Well, honestly? Yes. I'm a little confused. No, I'm actually a whole LOT confuse. I could use some advice. And while I'm asking, I could really use some extra help with your organic class. The B on my mid-term didn't go over too well at home. So if you have some time later on that would be great."

Mrs. Bentley laughed softly. "Well, I think I can manage to fit you after school between grading papers and having nowhere in particular to go. Will that work for you?"

"That would be perfect. Thanks, Mrs. Bentley. I'll see you after 7th period in your room?"

"I'll look forward to it, Cal. And thank you again for the dance on Saturday. I enjoyed it very much."

"Me, too," I said sheepishly. I couldn't hold my gaze and lowered my eyes. Well, at least I didn't blush this time. "Okay, well, I better get this out and get in the shower or I'll be late to class. Bye, Mrs. Bentley."

"Bye, Cal. See you this afternoon."

I spent between 45 minutes to an hour with Mrs. Bentley each afternoon Monday through Thursday focusing strictly on chemistry and neither of us mentioned "the date" again. After tutoring ended on Thursday, I told her I thought I'd be ready for the test next Monday and suggested we skip Friday.

"I agree. You've got everything down pat again so I see no need for any tutoring on Friday. We never did discuss your other—concerns. Are they resolved now?"

Hardly. I'd avoided Karen all week using the tutoring and upcoming test but I knew I had to make a decision soon because she was relentless and this wasn't going to go away. I just wanted to go out with her, not marry her. No, I wanted to have sex with her but that seemed extremely unlikely unless I made a commitment I wasn't ready to make.

"No. The issue hasn't been resolved yet and I really don't know how to resolve it," I said.

"Well, I'd be happy to offer my opinion if you'd like to use tomorrow afternoon for that instead of chemistry."

"That sounds really great, Mrs. Bentley. I don't feel comfortable talking to my mom or dad about this so I really appreciate you being willing to talk with me."

"I'm happy to help out, Cal. You can discuss anything with me anytime, okay?"

When I got to her room the next day she took me aside and said, "I'm so sorry. I have two students who need help with chemistry after school and that has to take priority. I won't be able to chat with you."

My crestfallen look was all over my face. "Oh, that's okay. I understand. I'll just..."

"Cal, you didn't let me finish. That doesn't mean we can't discuss this, it just means I can't do it right after school. By the sound of things I have the impression you need to resolve this sooner rather than later. Am I right?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I should have already made a decision but it seems like there's no good way to deal with it so I've just been putting off and making excuses."

"All right. Well how about this? We could discuss this later tonight or tomorrow. You'd be welcome to stop by my house or I could meet you somewhere more public if you'd prefer."

My heart was pounding at the thought of having an opportunity to be alone my biggest crush and doing so at her house was more than I could have asked for. "That sounds great but it's Friday night and I'm sure you have plans and stuff so..."

"No. I don't have any plans, Cal. In fact, some company would be most welcome. Sitting alone in a large, empty house isn't exactly a whole lot of fun and now that my son's away, that's something I do far too much of. So you wouldn't be imposing, you'd actually be doing me a favor."

"Well, if that's the case then sure, I'd like that."

Mrs. Bentley grabbed her pen and a yellow sticky note. "Here's my address and phone number in case you need to cancel. Otherwise, see you about 8 o'clock? No, wait. That's probably eating into your social time. As you said, it is Friday night. Would earlier be better for you, Cal?"

"Oh, no. Eight is just fine. I don't have any plans either, Mrs. Bentley. At least not until this issue gets resolved so that sounds great."

"Okay. Eight it is. See you then."

Chapter 7

I didn't need the directions she'd provided. I knew exactly where the Bentley house was. In it was in one of the nicest neighborhoods in town. Her husband was some famous architect who'd built several important buildings in Seattle, Portland, and Vancouver, BC. The house they lived in was huge with large glass windows that looked bigger than our entire house. I pulled around to the garage per her directions and it was large enough to hold a half dozen vehicles. The only one in it was her white Audi. I parked the car and rang the doorbell to the garage-door entrance.

A moment later I heard the door unlock and swing open. Mrs. Bentley was standing in the hallway and welcomed me in. I wasn't sure what to expect exactly but her appearance did catch me off guard. Her hair was in a ponytail, she wasn't wearing any makeup, and her wardrobe consisted of a University of Washington Huskies "Dawg" sweatshirt and pair of old blue jeans. I couldn't help but notice she also barefoot.

"Hi, Cal. You're right on time. Please come in. Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

"Oh, no thanks. Not unless you're having something."

Mrs. Bentley laughed softly. "I was thinking about a glass of champagne but your parents would probably kill me if I offered you one."

"Champagne? Aren't you LDS?"

"That's a long story, Cal. I'll be happy to discuss it along with anything else you'd like to know but tonight is about you being able to talk about whatever's bothering you. In short, I am still technically a member of the Church but I've lost faith in it over the last year or so for a number of reasons. So I'm having a glass of champagne. The question is whether or not you'd like to join me?"

Mrs. Bentley wasn't "mean" or talking down to me. In fact, I found her honesty and openness refreshing. "Sure. I'll have a glass. My dad did let me have a glass on my 18th birthday so I can't imagine my parents would be too awfully upset."

"Okay. One glass. For you, that is. I may have two. It's been a long week."

Mrs. Bentley filled two expensive-looking flutes with the sparkly liquid, handed one to me and said, "Cheers?" We gently clinked glasses and took a small sip.

"Oh my!" she said. "That is so good. Okay, let's go sit down and talk about whatever's bothering you."

She led the way into a large, open area and offered me a seat on an expensive-looking sofa. I sat down and she sat across from me in an oversized chair.

"So, what's on your mind, Cal?" she asked as she took a bigger sip from her glass.

"Well. Okay, where to start?" was all I could think of to get things going.

I took about ten minutes to explain what happened without going into any details about what went on in my car. I limited that part of the story to our having made out in the back seat.

"And you say she told you she's in love with you? After just one date?"

"She did."

"And that her suggestion to 'solve' this is getting married?"

"Right."

"Wow. Cal, let me explain a few things about the Mormon Church. You may know them from your friendship with Glen but hearing from someone else may be helpful. I've been a Mormon for 20 years myself and as I said, technically, I still am. I'll get back to that in a minute. My experience tells me there's something else going on here you may have left out. I say that because for Mormons, marriage is the defining event in their lives. They must be married in a Mormon temple where they believe the marriage is for all eternity not just 'until death do us part.' That, plus 'enduring to the end' in this life allows them to enter the 'highest degree of glory' in what they call the Celestial Kindom. This enables them to one day become gods and goddesses 'creating worlds without end.' For Karen to suggest marriage to solve a problem tells me there must have been more to your date than just some heavy kissing. That's none of my business but it sounds like something happened to elevate this at least in Karen's mind. Do you mind sharing it? You know, if something more did happen, that is."

I tried not to squirm but realized I was going to have to come clean here. I took a large drink and said, "To be honest, we pretty much...you know...we basically...went all the way. Saying that really sounds silly because I don't see anything wrong with consenting adults having sex. But then again, I've never talked about this kind of stuff with anyone let alone a woman as beautiful as you."

Mrs. Bentley covered her mouth and laugh politely. "Oh, my! You are such a dear. This is beautiful?"

I looked directly at her when I said, "Mrs. Bentley. You're the kind of woman who is so pretty she couldn't hide if she wore a burlap bag so yes, this is still beautiful."

She sat there quietly just looking at me. "You see. I knew you were special. I knew there were qualities you have that set you apart from other boys your age." She quickly added, "I'm not calling you boy, by the way, Cal. You are a most definitely a young man whom I actually respect and respect has become very important to me lately. It's also been important but this last year has really changed my life and my outlook. Trust and respect are qualities I value and would never enter another relationship unless those two things are there in a very big way. Sorry, please finish what you were saying."

I went on to explained about her mom seeing the sweater and her reaction to it and Karen's subsequent reaction to her mom.

"Okay. That makes a lot more sense now. Karen wants to have an intimate relationship with you but to do so means she has to get a proposal and a ring from you followed soon after by a wedding even if it's not in a Mormon temple. Her mom won't like that aspect but at least it would be a marriage. Truth is, unless Karen really is ready to leave the church, which would break her mother's heart more so than having pre-marital sex, she and her mom will be pressuring you to join their church until you give in or grow deeply resentful. Is becoming a Mormon something you'd be willing to do?"

"I think Karen's given up on the Mormon faith because of her dad's death but honestly, I know she doesn't want to hurt her mother any more than losing her husband already has and I'm sure getting married seems like a sound solution to her."

"But what do you think? How do you feel? Do you love her and if you do, do you love her enough to marry her, let alone become LDS?"

"When you put it that way, it's not so complicated. No, I don't love her. I don't even really know her. She's attractive for sure and she's very smart and definitely nice. But do I love her? No. Definitely not. So that makes the question about marrying really easy. No. Absolutely not."

Mrs. Bentley listened to me then continued, "Then there's really just one more question. Do you want to keep seeing her?"

"Honestly? Well, that's harder because..." I was feeling the champagne now and maybe that was the reason I felt embolden to say this but for whatever reason I told Mrs. Bentley, "The truth is, I want to be with someone else and before you ask, no, I still haven't told her how I feel."

"Don't you think it's about time you let her know? As I said, she may just be waiting for you tell her how you feel. It could be that she's in a very awkward situation that precludes her from making a first move. What if you let her know and you find out she really has been waiting and hoping you'd tell her how you feel about her?"

I sat there staring at her until I realized I was staring. I looked away and then down.

Mrs. Bentley slid over closer and said, "Is this 'other woman' the married woman you told me about at the dance?"

I heard my voice crack as I managed to say only, "Yes."

"And isn't that married woman also your teacher?"

Again all I could manage was a hoarse whisper. "Yes, it is. How long have you known it was you, Mrs. Bentley?"

"Cal, my first name is Laura and it would be nice if you'd call me that. To answer your question, I've suspected you had feelings for me for some time now. That's why I went to the dance last week. I'm assuming you know my husband had an affair last year. To say that devastated me would be an understatement. I've needed time to get over being angry and hurt. I'm finally past that now but I haven't wanted to date anyone because trust is such a huge issue for me now. As crazy as this sounds because of your age and the fact you're my student, I trust you, Cal. And if I haven't said it before in clear enough terms, I am very attracted to you both physically and emotionally. But I can't get involved with you as long as the situation with Karen exists. You'll have to deal with that first. I'm not going to rush you. I don't want to actually be 'the other woman' and I certainly don't want to hurt Karen. When that's resolved, please let me know and then we can go from there. Okay?"

"I've been avoiding this all week and I know I have to deal with it soon. Now that I know the woman I really want to be with feels that way about me, I'm going to let her know how I feel tonight if it isn't too late. If so, I'll talk with her first thing tomorrow. Not just because I want to be with you, Mrs...Laura...but because this needs to be resolved. I don't want to hurt Karen, either, but I don't love her and there is no way on earth I would marry her let alone join her church."

"That is very mature perspective. I said I'd explain my feelings about the Mormon Church so briefly, this is where I'm at. I joined it 20 years ago in order to marry my soon-to-be ex-husband. I wasn't religious before that but I was so head over heels for him, it seemed a very reasonable thing to do. But I never really bought into the whole thing about gold plates and polygamy and becoming gods and that's the heart of their doctrine. Up front, all you hear about is how wonderful the family is and how family can be forever. Who wouldn't want that? It's all the other stuff that goes on. Inside a Mormon temple, their 'endowment ceremony' is almost verbatim the same as what goes on inside a Masonic Temple. And make these crazy oaths and agree to have their 'throats slit from ear to ear' if they reveal what goes on inside. I just think the whole thing is insane. You see, since my husband, this 'staunch Mormon elder and returned missionary' cheated on me—repeatedly and flagrantly, I've given up not only on my marriage but also on the Mormon Church. I'm not sure I ever fully bought into it but this is the time to make a clean break from him and it. He moved out the day our son left for the Navy and I've just been waiting for you to say something. I'm glad you finally did because I really do feel the same way about you."

"I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember, Laura. I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You're not only beautiful but funny, smart, and..."

Laura moved next to me and cut me off in mid-sentence. "Okay. I'm convinced. And thank you for those kind words. It's been a very long time since I've even kissed someone other than my husband so in some ways, I'm as new to dating as you are. It's funny, but I never even dreamed it would be one of my students but the truth is I haven't been able to think of much else. When I heard you were taking Karen to the dance, I felt jealous. Jealous like I hadn't felt since, well...it had been many years. That drove me to do some gentle 'probing' to find out what you like because, well, I want you and I want you to want me back. Just so you know, I know about your 'sweater thing' and I'm happy to do that for you. Most guys have some kind of 'thing' and that one is pretty tame. Besides, it's chilly here and I wear them most of the year anyway." Laura laughed and that changed the entire mood as I also laughed.