The First Time I Noticed Ch. 06

"Are you crazy?" I said. "I can't walk in there like this!"

"Sure you can," she said. "Just...think about doing it with your sister or something."

"Ha, fucking, ha, Lex," I said. "Aren't you the damn comic?"

"Sorry," she said. "Maybe think about doing it with mom instead."

"Lex!" I said. "What the fuck? How 'bout just not thinking about doing it at all."

"Oh my God," she said, "please don't tell me you want to do it with mom."

"Eww, no," I said.

"Why not?" she said. "Mom's still a pretty sexy woman. Dad keeps saying I get my looks from her."

"God, just stop, Lex," I said.

Suddenly she was laughing hysterically. Apparently I wasn't in on the joke because I had no idea what set her off.

"What?" I said.

"It worked!" she said, still laughing.

"What worked?" I said. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Thinking about mom!" she said. "I guess it worked. Look!"

She pointed at my cock, which was still sticking out of my fly, but was now half deflated. It would be awkward, but at least I'd be able to get it back into my pants. I started to put it away.

"Wait!" she said. "Not yet."

"Wait for what?" I said.

"This," she said, then she opened her door and stepped out, but she paused half way through standing up. She rested her hands on her knees so that she was bent at the hips and her ass was pointing at me through the car door. She gave her butt a little shake. Damn, it was fine.

"There," she said, grinning back at me as she stood up. "That should keep you going until dinner."

I quickly shoved my cock back into my shorts before it had a chance to get any bigger.

"Not nice," I said. "I was just getting better."

"So says the man who had his hand in my pants a minute ago," she said.

"Okay, okay," I said. "Let's go, sis."

We locked up the car and began walking toward the mall entrance.

"Where are you going?" she said.

"I thought I'd hit the bookstore," I said. "Even if I don't buy anything it's fun to browse."

"How about I meet you there instead of at a restaurant?" she said. "Then we don't have to pick a place now, or even eat here."

"Sure," I said, "but what do you want at the bookstore? You were never much of a reader."

"Maybe I want a book on how to give my brother awesome blow-jobs," she said.

"Be nice," I said. "Besides, you could write that book. Damn."

She giggled at that, and then kissed me on the cheek.

"What was that for?" I said.

"Just to say thanks," she said. "Even when you're crude you're still nice to me."

"So why did you really want to go to the bookstore?" I said.

"Oh," she said. "I wanted to look for a Boundary Waters guide."

"I know just the one you want," I said. "You could have used mine but I loaned it to a friend and never got it back."

"Wait," she said, "didn't you buy one in Grand Marais?"

"I did," I said, "but the one I have in mind is a lot better for a first time visitor, and it's never a bad idea to get more than one opinion on a route."

"Perfect!" she said. "I still have Dad's card."

"Don't you ever feel guilty spending Dad's money?" I said.

"Nope," she said, smiling, "because he loves it even more than I do."

"Huh?" I said. "Why would Dad love it when you spend his money?"

"Because," she said, "he never buys anything for himself anyway, so it's just sitting around in the bank being useless, and if I buy things he feels good because it makes me happy."

"So Dad feels good because you feel good?" I said.

"That's it!" she said. "And I'm not just saying that as an excuse to buy stuff I don't need. If I come home empty handed it's like he's disappointed. He actually kind of lights up a little when I have bags to show off."

"If you say so," I said, "but I still think you're just making up an excuse to buy stuff."

"Just watch when we get home," she said. "You'll see."

"Okay," I said. I was still skeptical, but we had arrived at the entrance.

"See you in half an hour," she said.

"Hey, wait," I said, holding the door for her. "Where else are you going?"

"That's a secret," she said.

"Oooo...aren't you mysterious," I said. "Thirty minutes. Don't be late."

"I won't," she said. "I shop fast. I can buy more in the same amount of time that way!"

"You're nothing if not efficient, Lexi," I said. "Love you sis, see you later."

"Love you too," she said, and turned away.

We had entered through the doors nearest the bookstore and had reached the main corridor. She went right and I went left. It took a lot of effort, but I resisted the temptation to look over my shoulder to watch her walk away. I knew what I would see. I knew what it would do to me. Merely imagining it was arousing enough.

Arriving at the bookstore, I made my way to the local books section and found the title I wanted in the Boundary Waters guide books. I took that with me over to photography with the intent of looking for something on landscape and nature work. I was never quite satisfied with what I shot. My landscapes always seemed to lack a certain punch that the best photos had, so I was constantly searching for both inspiration and expert advice. Unfortunately, this trip through the photography section carried nothing but reminders of the photos Alexis and I had shot that morning, and what shooting them led to. It also reminded me that in our excitement to get on the road, we hadn't looked them over yet. That would be something to look forward to when we got home, but I didn't need to go out of my way to add that kind of frustration now and I made my way over to history. A friend had tipped me off about a great book about the plains Indians called Crazy Horse: The Strange Man of the Oglalas by Mari Sandoz, and I went to look for a copy. I found it when Alexis found me. Had it really been a half hour already? I had completely lost track of time.

"What did you find?" she said. She was carrying a shopping bag, but it was a generic mall bag so I couldn't tell what was in it or even where it came from.

"A book about Crazy Horse," I said.

"Who's that?" she said. History wasn't her favorite subject, and this wasn't the best traveled corner of American history, but it was a favorite of mine.

"Crazy Horse was an Oglala warrior," I said.

"Oglala?" she said.

"A band of the Lakota," I said. "Sioux."

"Sure," she said. "I knew that."

"Right," I said. "Anyway, he was one of the leaders of Sitting Bull's warriors."

"In the old west," she said.

"Yeah," I said, "he kicked Custer's ass at the Little Bighorn."

"Ah!" she said. "That I know about. But how can the story be accurate? Didn't everyone die at the Little Big Horn?"

"Custer and his men died," I said, "but they lost. Sitting Bull's men, Crazy Horse among them, won the battle and lived to tell the stories of it."

"Oh," she said. "It's weird that it never occurred to me that there were people who survived Custer's last stand."

"It never occurs to most people, Lex," I said. I felt myself slipping into History Professor mode, but couldn't help myself. "Eventually the Sioux lost the Indian wars, but they won that battle and Crazy Horse played a big part in it. This is his story."

"That actually sounds kind of interesting," she said. "Maybe I'll read it when you're done."

"Okay," I said. I was skeptical, but hopeful she might find interest in the things I loved to study.

"No, really," she said. Somehow she had read my thoughts. "I know you think I'll never read it, but if it interests you it must be worthwhile. You have a great mind."

"Ah..." I said. "Thanks, Lex. That was really nice of you to say."

And unexpected. Alexis was sharp, but hadn't taken much interest in the things that interested me before.

"What's the other one?" she said.

"The other what?"

"The other book, genius," she said.

"Oh, ah, sorry, sis," I stammered. After all, I did have two books in my hands.

"It's Dan Pauly's guide to the Boundary Waters," I said. "It's the best one available."

"Is that the one you loaned and didn't get back?" she said.

"You remembered," I said. "Yeah, that's the one. Exploring the Boundary Waters. There are a lot of guide books for the BWCA, but this one is the best."

"If it's good enough for you," she said, "it's good enough for me. Ready to check out or are you still browsing?"

"I'm done," I said, "and hungry. Let's go."

We checked out. Alexis insisted on using Dad's credit card again. I still felt guilty about it, but there was no resisting my sister when she got her mind set on something. She was a lot like our father in that respect. He was at heart a very gentle, easy going soul, but was a force to be reckoned with once he made up his mind about something and was set on a course of action. It was one of the things that made him a great lawyer. He could relate to his clients, but also be a fierce advocate for them.

"Where to?" I said after we checked out.

"Grandma's?" said Alexis.

"Good choice!" I said. The food was great and they had a location nearby.

"But I want to go to Canal Park," she said.

"Canal Park?" I said. "They have a restaurant just across the parking lot."

"Yeah," she said, "but I want to go see the lift bridge."

"Okay," I said. I not only knew I was going to lose this fight, but I loved visiting Canal Park as much as she did. The lift bridge was one of my favorite spots in Duluth. We got in the car and drove down the hill to the waterfront and made our way to Canal Park. Driving there and parking there was a hassle, but it was a fun place to visit.

"If we hurry," she said, "we can get to the Duluth Pack store before they close."

"Lex," I said, "you know perfectly well that place isn't safe. Even I don't trust myself with Dad's credit card in there. I'm liable to walk out of there with two hundred bucks worth of stuff, and you'll spend three times that."

"We're getting him a present in there," she said.

"This I gotta hear," I said. "You're going to explain to me how we're going to buy Dad a present using his own money, and he's going to - somehow - just love it."

"Yup," she said. "He will."

"Because..."

"Because he's wanted one of those duffel bags since forever," she said, "but he never buys himself anything."

"You have a point there," I said.

"Of course I do," she said. "Listen, Ian. Seriously. You're brilliant - I admit that - but when it comes to Dad, and shopping, you need to leave matters in the hands of an expert."

She had another point. "Okay," I said. "You win, but we have to hurry."

"So stop standing around then and let's get going," she said.

We arrived at the Duluth Pack store a half hour before they closed. It was more than enough time for Alexis to blow insane amounts of money on stuff, but even I had to admit their goods were seriously beautiful, not to mention nearly indestructible. I nearly had a fit when I saw the price of the bag she picked for my dad, but she was brooking no argument about it. She was, after all, the shopping expert.

"Hey," she said. "Do you have a bag for school?"

"Sure," I said. "I have my old backpack from high school. It still gets the job done."

"I mean a decent bag," she said. "The messenger bags they make here are amazing."

"No, Lex," I said. "Seriously. Just no. I looked at them and they're like two hundred bucks. I just can't spend Dad's money like that."

"He got one for me when I left for school," she said.

"We never made it up here before I left last summer," I said. "He mentioned it once but then I forgot about it."

"See," she said. "He meant to get one for you."

"No, Lex," I said. "Sorry. I can't do it."

"He'll be mad," she said.

"I'll take my chances," I said. "Let's check out."

We left the store, packed our new, insanely expensive goods in the back of the car, and made our way to the restaurant, where we spent a delightful hour talking about school and our upcoming summer while I did my best not to think about how my father would murder us in our sleep when he got the credit card bill. After Lexi's shopping spree in a store full of exotic leather products, the few bucks I had dropped on a couple of books seemed like pocket change. I suppose to my father it probably was. He was at the same time both frugal and generous, but I still couldn't quite get my head around the idea that he'd be happy about Alexis buying him presents with his own money.

With our bellies full from a delicious meal, we wandered around the waterfront for a while. I was a fan of the maritime museum and we got lucky with the port schedule. A ship came through the channel not long after we arrived so we got to watch them raise and lower the bridge. After that we made our way back to the car to finish our drive. Minutes after leaving we were on the interstate with nothing but a couple of hours between us and home.

"Ian?" she said.

"Yeah, Lex," I said. "What's up?"

"How do you think it went?" she said.

"What went?" I said. "Dinner, or blowing the top off of Dad's credit card?"

"Not thinking about me?" she said.

"Ah...oh!" I said. "Wow. It worked. We were actually able to act like two normal, friendly siblings out shopping and having dinner."

"Yeah," she said. She didn't look happy about it.

"What's wrong, Lex?" I said. "I thought you'd be happy. We didn't just pass. We passed with flying colors! I've barely thought about sex since we parked the car at the mall."

"And that's great," she said. "I'm just kind of...I don't know...disappointed."

"By what?" I said.

"By the fact that you were able to put me out of your mind all that time," she said.

That came straight out of left field. It looked like she was going to cry.

"Oh, Lex," I said. "You were never out of my mind. Not for one single minute. Just because I managed to make it through a couple of hours without being horny the whole time doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about you."

"Really?" she said.

"Really," I said. "When I was in the bookstore, I wondered if you would be interested in Crazy Horse at all, and when I picked up the Boundary Waters guide I wondered the whole time if you really wanted to go with me..."

"I do!" she said.

"And you have no idea how much I love you for that," I said. "It's one of my favorite places in the world. Sharing it with you means a lot to me."

"Oh, Ian," she said, "you're honestly the sweetest person I've ever known. I'd love to share the Boundary Waters with you, and the mountains, and some history I know nothing about, because if it's important to you, it's important to me."

"You know something, Lex," I said.

"What?"

"You're the most adorable person I've ever known," I said, "and whatever happens - whatever happens - I get to share my whole life with you, and that makes me just insanely happy."

"Ian?" she said.

"What?"

"Do you promise not to crash the car if I kiss you right now?" she said. "Because I really want to kiss you right now."

"I'll do my best," I said. She kissed me, and I felt a surge of warmth and love go through me.

"I love you, Alexis," I said when we broke our kiss.

"I love you too, Ian," she said.

I took her hand in mine and we rode in silence for some time. Just the touch of her hand was enough to sustain me for the drive home and through whatever was to come after. The miles rolled by. Eventually we talked again, of our weekend - and that was a challenge to talk about without getting too horny to drive - and of our plans for the future. We talked about hiking, and canoeing, and visiting each other during school and at breaks, and somehow, despite the challenges ahead of us, all seemed right with the world.

We stopped half way back for coffee. She held my hand while we waited in line to check out. It was both beautiful and frightening to touch her in public, even if we were doing something completely innocent.

But the end of our drive and our return to the larger world, the world where we were known as brother and sister, not as anonymous lovers, was inevitable. Duluth faded, the Twin Cities awaited. The interstate split and we took the fork for Minneapolis. Home was just minutes away in the northern suburbs. It was early summer and the sun was still up. Our father would be at home and awake, probably having a drink on the patio. We would have to...behave. Act like siblings. Like our old selves, before this weekend, before we had fallen in love.

"You ready for this, Lex," I said as we made our way off the freeway and through the final few miles to our home.

"Almost," she said. "Turn into that parking lot."

She pointed to a quiet lot. The small business there was closed on Sundays. I found a quiet corner and parked the car.

"What's up, sis?" I said. She looked somber, almost bleak.

"Kiss me," she said. "We don't know what's going to happen next. If we'll be able to carry on, or if we'll somehow be discovered or separated. Kiss me like you may never have another chance."

I looked at her and saw the love in her eyes, but also the fear. The fear that we may have already spent our last moments of passion together, that this truly would be our last kiss as lovers, and I felt it too. Until then I had been her rock. I was the one she turned to when she was uncertain, but now I was no more certain than she was. Home was minutes away and once there we would enter a world that was old and familiar but at the same time new and terrifying. I looked in her eyes again and saw only the love there, and in that moment my fears evaporated. At last I realized that she was my rock as much as I was hers. I saw the love and drew strength from it, and I knew that even if the worst should happen, if we should be discovered, if we should be separated from one another, we would share that love forever, and I felt the power of that love swell through me. I took her in my arms and kissed her. I kissed her like I would never be able to kiss her again. We became one in that kiss. I knew that whatever happened we would never be apart, that we never could be apart because we were truly one heart, one mind, one soul, and nothing in heaven or earth could ever separate us.

"Let's go home," I said at last. "Let's go home and face our future together."

"Together," she said.

**********

Thank you to all who have been reading along, and especially to those who have been voting and commenting. I appreciate both and hope this chapter has left you wanting to read the conclusion.

For those who are interested, both books noted in the story are entirely real, and highly recommended. Duluth Pack and Grandma's are also real, and Duluth Pack builds bags of exceptional quality right in Duluth, which you can find at their store or online.

Crazy Horse: Strange Man of the Oglalas, by Mari Sandoz, was written from the perspective of the Oglala Lakota. It tells the story of one of the great warriors of the plains, and a truly great American.

Daniel Pauly's Exploring the Boundary Waters: A Trip Planner and Guide to the BWCAW is my personal favorite guide to the BWCAW. I actually did lose mine.