The Unfuck Machine

Lucy stared into her deep blue eyes and just nodded in agreement.

"Well, this is your lucky day. I can fix it."

"Ma'am?" Lucy replied with a strange look on her face.

"Cally me, Lizzy, please."

Lucy nodded, "I appreciate what you are telling me, but you have to believe me; I'm not worthy of any forgiveness for what I did to my husband, kids, and marriage. I purposely went out and destroyed them. I don't know what happened or why, but the evidence is overwhelming."

"Lucy, what I will tell you will cause you even more pain than you're experiencing now. And from there, if you choose, it will get better," explained Lizzy.

"Believe this or not, your fate was sealed over 300 years ago." Lucy gave her a quizzed look.

Lizzy smiled at her confused look and continued, "It started with Esse, also known as Esmarelda.

"Esse, Esse," said a shocked Lucy. "Esse is young, and Esmeralda is an old woman."

"You're right. Esse looks young, but that's how she wants to appear. She has been waiting for her lover, your husband."

Lucy sat back in her chair, stunned at the latest revelation. "She's been waiting 300 years for Edward, but why?" She asked.

"Her original love was Edward Good. Does that sound familiar? Your husband Edward Goodson is a direct descendant of Robert Good," explained Lizzy. "When his wife was with his children, she was pregnant with a son he never knew about."

"His wife and mother had found out about his lover, Esse. She went to the local preacher for help, trying to escape the two. The local clergy devised a plan and went to the local town leader to protect them.

They came up with a scheme to fool the witches. While Edward was away, they devised a scheme to say they died from a measle pandemic and told him they burned it down with his family in it.

"The wife changed her last name to Goodson, and that's where the line started.

"In their day, superstition and prejudice were common and misplaced. Today, she would have just divorced him for adultery, but that's a story for another day."

Lucy shook her head in disbelief.

"Now, what I'm about to tell you will cause so much pain you'll wish you were dead, but I promise that it will only get better from there. Please take the drink; you're going to need it."

Lizzy raised her glass and offered a toast, "To better times." All the girls turned them and swallowed their JD. Lucy started hacking and coughing, and with a husky voice, Lucy said, "Smoooooooth."

Lizzy poured another round across the small table.

Taking a deep breath, Lizzy continued with her story. "Esse is a High Priestess and the head of the local coven in Hollybrook. Witches can't bear other witches; they depend on the gene passed on by a male with the maleficus gene to non-witches, so they would bear girls they would train to follow in their footsteps.

They can sense that gene in a male, drawing witches to them.

In a few years, your daughter's beautiful blond hair will turn as dark as raven's wings and eyes a deep earthy green. And their training will start for the benefit of the coven. Edward will stay deep in their spell and go along with it.

"Lucy, you won the lottery with your ancestry," said Lizzy.

"I won the lottery. What do you mean?" asked Lucy.

"I'm being sarcastic, dear," replied Lizzy. "Here, have another drink." Taking the glasses to their lips, they downed them, and Lizzy refilled them for another round.

Lizzy looked Lucy in the eye, "Your grandma, Fitzey, was a witch."

Lucy's eyes sprung wide open. Lizzy smiled and continued, "Have you ever wondered how Esse and the coven amassed their fantastic wealth? They would pick their future husband and slowly put them under their spell.

"They would make cuckolds out of them by sleeping with the most powerful men to help their husbands win highly lucrative contacts either in private business or with the government. They would give their husbands potions to make sure they only recognized their wives as loving, godly women.

"And at the appropriate time, their husbands would die from heart attacks. Back then, they couldn't do the type of autopsy necessary to find the drug that took their lives."

A tear rolled down Lucy's cheek, and she asked, "Did they do that to my grandpa? I loved him; he was the best," Lizzy replied with a sympathetic nod.

"Do you have a Kleenex?" Asked Lucy. Lizzy handed her a soft handkerchief and then wiped her tears away.

"In Fitzey's case, they thought your father carried the gene, and you and your sister would be the future members of the coven. They wanted to bring together the families of the Boston Lace-Curtain Irish clan and the Boston Brahmins.

"The coven would receive power and wealth once the granddaughters turned 18 by bringing the two families together.

"Your mother was 17 then, and Fitzey sat out to get them two together at all costs. The problem at the time was John, a confirmed bachelor, who had no desire to get married. Well, a little Hocus Pocus and a little love potion in his drink, and he fell for your mother, Patricia.

"Somehow, when they looked into the future, they thought your mother would be a witch. By marrying John, she would gain access to power for them and your mother's wealth.

"Patricia never knew about you being set up by her mother or Esse, but she had a powerful intuition about you and was always worried about Edward and what you might do to him."

Lucy took the drink without waiting for the others. Lizzy immediately refilled it to the brim.

Lizzy continued, "What Esse missed was that Patricia was carrying the future witches. When a female is born, she has all the eggs she will ever produce. So basically, the mother holds both her future daughters and her granddaughters.

"And to put you at ease, your mother doesn't know about her mother. But because John didn't pass on the gene to your sister first, that's why they didn't take out your Uncle Thomas.

"When you hit puberty, they realized they were right about you and your sister not being witches. By then, they sensed Edward had returned. And they made sure the first time you met him, it would be love at first sight. So, they gave you both a love potion and love spell."

"Oh, my God," sobbed Lucy. "I never loved Edward. They made our marriage dirty, and, with this lie, I never loved him. It was all fake. They used me to hurt and deceive a good man. He's such a fine, honorable man who deserves to be loved by a woman who truly loves him. Oh God. Do I? I think I love him. I know I love him. I do," she said with conviction in her voice.

Lizzy took Lucy's hands and held them, "See, you do love him deeply and in your heart. The first thought was Edward and how Esse deceived him without considering how it affected you.

"Well, the jokes on them," chuckled Lizzy. "The Governor told me you two from the beginning were always slated to be soul mates from the time of conception in the womb. So, you are truly soulmates; until they interceded, you would have never cheated on him.

"You were so happy being a stay-at-home mom until they started giving you cheating spells and their potions. After that, you become dissatisfied with your life, which was the beginning of the end of your marriage.

"We don't know what happened to Esse. At one time, she was the sweetest, kindest soul you would ever meet. We think that Edward's death and his dismemberment were too much for her, causing her to snap and never recover from his death. Her hatred warped her mind, and it turned to evil and the dark side.

"One more thing, Lucy, did your mother ever tell her your grandmother insisting on calling you Lucinda after her best friend Lucinda, John's mother? Kinda sounds like a witch's name, don't you think," she said with raised eyebrows.

Lucy sat back in the chair, dropped her shoulders, and blew out the air from her lungs in one long exhalation. "Wooooooooh, it's unbelievable." With hope in her eyes, Lucy looked at the ladies sitting with her. She said, "I'm willing to forgive them if you can get me my Edward and children back."

All the women looked at each other with tears in their eyes. Lizzy nodded at Susan and Alana. They placed their hands on her shoulders and gripped them with a gentle touch.

Lizzy took Lucy's and stared into her eyes with warmth and love. "Lucy, there will be no forgiveness. After I tell you what evil perpetrated on your family, even the Governor wouldn't expect you to.

"The Governor has no forgiveness left to forgive them, and the Warden wants no part in this. He informed the Governor he didn't have enough levels of hell to hold them.

Lucy's face paled, and time slowed as she watched the words come out of Lucy's mouth. "They killed your twin baby boys in your womb."

Lucy cocked her head in confusion and asked, "What, boys?" I never had boys."

Lizzy meshed her and started, "Esse couldn't afford to have a warlock born. She didn't want to give up her power of the coven to them.

Lucy replied, slightly shaking her head, "I still don't understand."

"Lucy," said Lizzy, making sure she had her attention. "Do you remember those soups that Esse gave you for your morning sickness?

She nodded her head and said, "Yeah, I remember it. It kept me from throwing up every day. "

Lizzy continued her story, "They mixed a potion into the soup called Malus Fetus Deletus; it is designed to kill the male fetus and let a female live.

Lucy's expression went blank, and her eyes glazed over at the recent revelation that Lizzy was describing.

Lizzy squeezed Lucy's hand tighter. "When you took the potion while pregnant with Sara and Patricia, it didn't work. She would never allow you to have a male child. She wants to keep all the power to herself. The Governor was so mad when he found out what they did he almost destroyed the universe over her treachery and betrayal."

A wail of pain, a high-pitched pitch cry spread out from the betrayed woman. The shock wave shook the world and reached out across the cosmos in a wave. Stars and nebulae collapsed, black holes exploded, and the angels in the heavens sobbed at this woman's sorrow.

Lucy's head collapsed on the table. Crying, she yelled out, "My babies. My baby boys. They took my children."

She looked up at Lizzy and spoke. "You said the Governor could fix this. Can he bring back my baby boys? Can he?" she hopefully asked.

Lizzy empathizing with the frail woman. "If we did that, your daughters would never exist. That's one of the rules the Governor demands we follow. We can never change the past by taking innocent lives in the future.

"In your case, you will be sent back to the time before you went back to work. From there, we'll take your pain and guilt away. You will not remember any of the details of what you endured.

"No dreams. There will be no facts in your memory about the liaisons. But you will remember all the good times you had with Edward and the girls, and they will never know what you did. It will be just like before it ever happened.

"You noticed I didn't use the terms adultery, cheating, or affair. That's because you were guilty of none of those. Oh, I don't get to determine those; the Governor did and gave explicit instructions to tell you and ensure you understand that."

Lizzy smiled and continued, "I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I still need to tell you that we can't force you to do this, to go back in time. The Governor believes in free will. It will be your decision. If you decide not to, you'll go back to the time when you were on the bridge, and it will still be up to you to jump or not."

"Please, I want to go back even if it means I give my life to save Edward and my girls from their fate," begged Lucy.

"Great. Done," replied Lizzy.

"There are a few other things you need to know. First, stay away from Margret Salton. She is one of Esse's clan, along with Alice Parker and Martha Corey. They were both involved at Boston College in hiring your husband.

"Finally, your friend Peggy Winthrop. She is another one of Esse's messes we'll have to fix. They knew you two were friends in their visions. They put spells on her husband to become fat and dull and another one to turn her into a dollymop.

"He was a big, strapping man and full of life. They led a wonderful life and marriage. They gave her potions to make her feel neglected, and she deserved more than a good, loving man.

"You had encouragement from everyone you depended on for help, but they betrayed and justified your actions.

"As for Frank and Susan, Esse also did a good job on them. They used them to seduce you deeper into depravity. They were a monogamous, loving couple also, just like you and Edward.

"And your first lover, Carl, was used as their pawn." Lucy cringed when she heard Lizzy use that term. "His guilt got the best of him, and he begged the Governor to help him and save his family.

"The Lord stepped in and helped him get away from you." Lizzy continued, "And as for the other lovers, everything for them will return as before when you go into the 'The Unfornicate Machine.'

"And once you return to the past, everything will return to how they were before all this happened. Only you and the witches will know the past.

"I know I said the Governor would not forgive them, but he has given them one more chance to repent. And if they don't, he'll deal with them.

"An Unfornicate Machine. What is that?" asked Lucy.

"It's a time machine," replied Lizzy. "It gives a person a chance to undo the past. It takes you back to before the time you fornicated and erases it from history like it never happened. We also refer to it as a time machine to keep the language clean."

Lizzy picked up her glass and said, "One more for the road."

As the girls toasted to Lucy's future, they all stood up, and poor Lucy promptly sat back down. "The room is spinning," she said, slurring her words.

The other girls chuckled. "Come," said Alana, "we'll help you out. When you get back home, you'll be sober and the best part of it, there's no hangover."

Lizzy opened the barn to see the steam pressure pegging at max, telling her that Eli had the Unfornicate Machine ready to go.

"Lucy," said Lizzy. "I'm sending Susan and Alana back with you. The machine can be pretty scary for your first transport in the device. They will help you reacclimate to your surroundings quickly before you meet your daughters.

"Don't forget to play along if the Esse shows up; don't drink her potion before her. Take it and dump it. Also, when there is the first sign of any trouble, we'll be there lickety-split at the snap of your fingers to protect you and your family. The Governor wants to give them one more chance before we deal with them permanently."

Upon entering the barn, Lucy noticed Eli cussing up a storm. He looked like he got between two badgers fighting over a package of Oreo cookies.

Lizzy snicked, "Eli Jones, look at your shirt. I just made that for you two weeks ago. What did you do?"

"Blasted cat. It's lucky I didn't shoot it." He reached into the cage, raised it by the nape of the neck, and raised the hissing, hair-standing-on-end, black cat.

Lucy said, "That's our cat, Pywacket. A stray cat showed up at our house about a month ago and wouldn't leave, and the girls adopted it."

Lizzy walked over to the cage and reached in, finding the feline now purring and loving on her hand. "Come here, you good-looking man." Pywacket jumped up in her arms and rubbed his face against her cheek.

Eli turned beat red and placed his hand on his gun. Growling, showing his teeth, "Look at him. He's smirking at me."

"Don't you dare, Eli Jones," scolded Lizzy." Cats can't smirk. Looking at the cat, she talked like a little girl. "Can you, my little man."

"Well, it most certainly did," snapped Eli, "Keep that critter away from me. If you don't, I'll tar it and stick it on one of those paved roads they call a highway and use it as a speed breaker. Taking his hand off his gun, he turned and stormed out before he shot the cat anyway on principle.

Lizz explained to Lucy, "Pywacket is known as a familiar or an imp that serves as Esse's eyes and ears when she is not around. We had to remove him so Esse wouldn't know what was happening in your house. He has no powers here."

The girls looked over the machine that looked like an old diving bell made of iron and bolted together. It had a pipe running to it from an old steam boiler with what looked like a steam whistle on top.

"I'm scared," said Lucy.

"That's ok," said Susan. "We'll go with you. We've been through it before.

Lucy hugged Lizzy and said goodbye. Then she and her escorts got into the machine and hugged each other to support Lucy.

Lizzy shut the door and pulled the handle that started the old steam engine to turn wheels and cogs. The whole sphere was shaking as the whistle blew. The girls wrapped their arms around each other and Lucy screamed.

Xxxx

"Shhh. Open your eyes," said Alana. "Lucy, you're home." Susan chuckled at the comment.

Lucy squinted through her eyelids to verify she wasn't waking up from a dream. She saw Edward's family portrait displayed over the fireplace with Edward and the girls smiling directly at her.

Lucy slid to her knees sobbing, looked up to heaven, and spoke. "Oh Lord, thank you for saving my family."

"Come on, Lucy, get up. We don't have much time. We need to talk for a few minutes before the girls get home." said Alana, leading Lucy to the couch.

Lucy sat between both ladies. Susan softly and gently told the fragile woman, "We know what you plan to do, Lucy, but you can't. Lucy stared at them, bewildered, and asked what she was talking about.

"You want to grab the kids, hold on to them, never let them go, and Edward, we know exactly what you'll do," said Susan, smirking.

Still confused, she asked. "What are you talking about?"

Aland smiled, "The Governor left you with your memory of the good times you had with Edward. And that included the fun times with him in your bedroom."

Lucy's eyes were big, and she replied silently, "Ohhhh."

"Don't do it," said Alana. Then explained, "I cheated on my husband. I'm sure I was doing things to him I'd never done before quite willingly. It made him suspicious and he figured out I was having an affair with his best friend at his office. And in my first scenario, he took his life and it destroyed my kids." Lucy gasped.

"And as for me," said Susan. "I had a brain fart one night and I got caught."

"Oh, you're right," replied Lucy, "I loved doing those things to Edward and he loved them. I just can't pretend I don't know how to do them when I want to. I'm surprised he didn't leave me for being boring in bed."

"Well, if you want to do them, here's my suggestion," said Alana as she whispered the rest into Lucy's ear.

Lucy had a smile on her face and nodded her head. "Thank you, I'll do that,"

"Honey. I think I hear your kids' bus outside. We have to be going," said Susan. "And don't forget to play dumb for Esse."

The girls burst into the house and yelled in unison, "Mom, we're home." They ran into the living room to see Mom standing by herself.

"Come to me," said Lucy. "Now hug your mom and get on your homework. We'll watch a Disney movie when your dad gets home later tonight."

"Can we watch Sleeping Beauty? We want to see the evil witch get burned at the end," said Sara.

"Yes, dear," said Lucy. "I want to see that myself." Out of the mouth of babes, she thought.

Lucy heard her phone chirp. She answered, "Hey, Mother."

"Lucy," with a concerned motherly voice, Pat asks, "Is everything alright with you and Edward and the girls?"

Lucy thought quickly and replied, "Yes, Mother, everything is fine."

"Are you sure? I just have a bad feeling something happened to you."

"No, Mom, everything is fine. And Edward should be home later. Do you know something I don't?