What a Fool Believes

"I didn't say shit," I told her. "Torrie was here, remember? She recorded your little speech and played it to Talley. The only one either of them has talked to is you."

"You must have said something to them," she said. "They wouldn't be so angry if you hadn't."

"Listen to yourself," I said. "Jesus Christ, Tessa, you dropped a bomb on all of us. They are smarter than either one of us. They don't need me to tell them shit. They can see what you've done. How long has this been going on, Tessa? Why didn't you ever mention you were unhappy with me, with us? We could have tried to fix things."

She looked a little wistful. "I wasn't unhappy," she said. "Haven't you ever met someone, Dax, who you knew right away they were important to you? You knew there was an instant attraction? Like two magnets being pulled together?"

"Yes, I have," I told her. "I met you."

She couldn't look at me. "Can't we just move on, Dax? It doesn't have to be bitter, angry. We can still be friends. We've loved each other too long to throw that all away."

"We could," I said. "The problem is, I no longer want to be your friend, Tessa. In fact, I pretty much never want to see you again. It's a big town. Once the divorce is done, I doubt I'll ever have any occasion to speak to you again."

"That isn't true," she said. "The girls will have things, graduations, games, for Talitha, weddings. Life goes on, Dax."

"I guess it does," I said. "I'll do what I have to do."

"I'm still the same person," she said. "You used to like me."

"No, you're not." I answered. "At least, if you are, I never really knew you. I'm done here. You can either leave... no, better yet, I will. Lock up behind you."

I grabbed my keys and jumped in my Jeep. I drove down to the river and parked, got out and just leaned against the front, trying to get some sense of calm, trying to find my center. I had been there maybe half an hour, and a voice broke me out of my musings.

"Hey, Dad."

It was Talitha. "Hey, baby doll. How did you find me?"

"Duh, we all have family location sharing on our phones," she said. "You insisted, remember?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I do, now that I think about it. I don't think I've used it since you were like 17."

She slid into me, taking my arm and putting it over her shoulders, her warm little body against mine making me feel comforted.

"It's pretty here, huh?" she said. "I love just watching the river, hearing the ducks..."

"It is," I said.

"Well, I don't wanna step on your vibe, but what did Mom say?" she asked.

I sighed. "She just wanted to know why I was making her put the money back. She wants us to be friends. I told her I pretty much didn't, but she told me we were going to have to be together with things that involve you and Torrie, so I better get used to it."

She was silent for a moment. "I don't think you're going to have to worry about that," she finally said. "Torrie and I have talked a lot. Neither one of us are going to be inviting her to any of our shit, Dad."

I squeezed her a little. "Are you sure, baby doll?"

She nodded, her hair sweeping forward over her face. "Yeah. I'm sure. It's not that we're not going to miss her and wish she was different, but this is not something I'm going to get over, Dad."

"Yeah. I get it. Let's call Torrie and see if she wants to meet us for Mexican food," I said. She was down with that, but Torrie couldn't come, she had a project at the university, so it was just me and my baby girl.

*****

Everything was pretty predictable. Everyone knows people who are divorced, if they haven't experienced it personally. We've heard the tales, even if we never thought it would happen to us. There were a lot of meetings, back and forth, we finally got the details worked out and the divorce proceeded.

The girls stayed with me for two weeks before I insisted they go back to their apartment. They both objected, vociferously, but I needed them to get their lives on track, go back to the way they were.

"Listen," I told them. "I would have been happy if you'd both just lived here, for the rest of my life. I never wanted you to move out, but you did. I understood why then, and I still do. Things have changed for me, but they haven't for you. You have your lives. I hope there's always room for me in them, but I want you both to be you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Dad," Talitha said. "We don't want you to be lonely."

"Well, call me up. Come by, any time. Tell me you want to go to dinner, ask me to go do something with you. Do what you've always done."

They sniffed around a little, and I hugged them for a long time. "I get it, Dad," Torrie said. "I know you're right."

They did keep me involved with their lives, and the day the divorce was final, they came back and stayed with me for another week. I had no idea what was going on between them and their mother, and they never mentioned her.

I stayed busy, took on a few more jobs and an extra class. I missed being married, having someone to snuggle at night, someone to care about, someone to do little things for. When I woke up enough at night to turn to snuggle my wife, that empty bed usually brought me fully awake and the sadness was crushing.

I slowly got better. A year passed before I recognized it, then two. Torrie got her masters, and was working on her PhD. Talitha had her undergraduate degree, and she was done with school for a while. She went to work for a mortgage company and seemed to be doing well.

Tessa intruded in our lives from time to time. She came to Talitha's graduation and made a nuisance of herself. She overheard the girls mention that we were going out to celebrate, and she insisted that she was going with us.

"Gee, Mom, are you sure you shouldn't hurry back to Chucky-boy?" Torrie said.

She scowled and looked like a thundercloud. "Charles and I are no longer together," she announced.

"Oh, well, that's too bad," Talitha said. "When did this happen?"

"If you talked to me, you would have known that it's been 18 months."

"Well, we were busy," Torrie said.

This was better than most comedy shows. I snorted, and Tessa shot me an angry look.

We had all come in separate cars, so we drove to the barbecue place we had arranged for dinner. We did manage to get an extra chair for Tessa, but the girls made it obvious they didn't want her there. She didn't stay long after dinner, and I was flying to Tarawa the next day to go over plans for a resort. I was a consultant on the project, and I had decided to buy in as a shareholder.

It was a great place, beautiful ocean, great beaches, and I resolved I was going to spend a lot of time there. I went to some clubs, met some people, danced with some beautiful ladies, got lucky twice and came home refreshed. I was resolved that it was time to emerge from my shell and start living again.

*****

I had the idea that I was going back to California for a vacation. I was born and raised there, and I thought I'd like to prowl around the old neighborhood, see how things had changed, maybe meet up with some of the people I'd gone to school with and see how their lives had gone. I invited the girls, but they had too much going on to get the time.

We had a motorhome, and I decided I'd take that. We towed a little Wrangler behind it to drive around, and I had everything serviced, stocked up on everything I'd need and I was off on the road. It was fun. I stayed at campgrounds, went to things that were going on there, met a lot of people, mostly couples, who were doing the same thing. Being single was sort of depressing, but it was what it was. It took me three weeks to get there because of all the stops I made, but I got me a site, set myself up, unhooked the Wrangler and I was ready to see the sights.

I spent three days, driving around Ventura, Santa Barbra and Ojai. Things had changed, but not so much I couldn't find my way around. I was sitting outside at the Coffee Connection on Roblar, in Ojai, checking out the paper, and I noticed a little commotion.

Some Karen was trying to go inside without a mask. Yeah, they were a pain in the ass, but I figured after two fucking years, everyone knew the drill. There were several people waiting to get in, but Karen wouldn't move.

One woman gave up in disgust and came around to the tables. She sat down and got out her phone. I guessed she was waiting for the disturbance to end. She looked very familiar. I knew I had seen her before, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

It wasn't until the Karen finally went away and the woman went inside for coffee that it came to me. It was watching her walk that jogged my memory. Jacinta De León, I remembered her now. How could I forget? She had moved to Ojai when I was in the third grade. I wasn't much into girls, of course, but she was assigned a desk in the next row, directly across from me, and she met my eyes as she walked back to her desk. I would never forget those eyes, flashing, huge, brown: so dark brown as to be almost black.

She smiled at me, white teeth flashing and lighting up her face. I was never the same. My view of girls took a 180-degree flip-flop, and they, she, became magical. She slid me a note as we were working on an assignment. It just said hi, and her name. I wrote mine on another scrap of paper; I wanted to keep the one she gave me.

We had one recess, and I was drawn to her like a magnet. I had a soccer ball and we kicked it around on the playground. She was much better at soccer than I was, and that never changed. She was the most athletic girl I ever met, played soccer all through school and I was fascinated.

It turned out that she lived just three blocks away, and my house was past hers. We walked home together every day, and she became my best friend. All through school, we sat together in the lunch room every day, we tried to arrange our schedules to match, as much as the school allowed, and by the time we hit junior year, I was madly in love with Jacinta De León.

The feeling wasn't mutual, sadly. I was her best friend, and I stayed firmly friend-zoned. I suffered in silence, too awkward and too afraid to ruin what we had as friends to push the agenda I always left unvoiced. I gritted my teeth when her boyfriend of the month joined us for lunch, watched her dance with everyone in the school, while she always made sure I got one or two.

We were sitting in my den, playing a game of cribbage one day and she asked me, "Dax, why don't you have a girlfriend?" I had no way of answering that, since I couldn't tell her the girl I wanted seemed oblivious, so I just stammered around, hideously embarrassed.

"I'm going to help you out," she announced.

"What? How? What do you mean?" I managed.

"You'll just have to wait and see." She was mysterious, but it soon became evident.

A succession of her friends was soon paraded across the stage for my inspection. She had beautiful friends, too. Jacinta was the hottest girl in the school, my bias aside. She was the queen bee, and all the girls wanted to be her. All the boys just wanted her. As her best friend, I was lionized, as well. I suddenly had more opportunities at dates than most rock stars.

I took advantage of them, too. I felt that I was dating a class of girls who were way out of my league, but I was no fool, and I dated constantly.

We remained best friends until she moved up to LA and I moved to Texas. I hadn't seen or heard of her for years. There she was, and the years had been kind to her. That sultry smoldering girl had turned into a sultry smoldering woman, but she had an air about her. You could tell by looking at her that she had her business in hand.

She was elegantly dressed, a one-shoulder-bare beige number that was form fitting, obviously silk, and very classy. Her black heels were short, but enough to emphasize the gorgeous legs that were displayed to three inches above her knees.

I watched her scroll through her phone, sipping her coffee, and suddenly she stopped. It was like she could feel me watching her. I quickly looked down at my iPad so she wouldn't think some creepy stalker was staring at her. I saw her glance around out of the corner of my eye, and suddenly there was a squeal of delight.

"Oh, my God! Dax, is that you?"

I looked up to see her coming toward me. I stood up just in time to catch her as she threw herself on me. She nearly knocked me down. I remembered that had been her way of greeting me when we hadn't seen each other for a bit, all our lives.

I squeezed her to me as I staggered a bit. "Hi, Peach," I said. That had always been my nickname for her. She giggled at that, and she was just nearly out of control with her excitement.

"God, Dax, it's been like a hundred years! What are you doing here? Are you by yourself? Is your family with you? Oh, my God, I can't believe it's you!"

My chest was in danger of being scalded by the coffee she was still holding, and I extricated myself from that predicament. "Here, sit down before you scald my belly," I said.

She laughed, seated herself on the bench and pulled me down beside her, snuggling up against me with her arm around my waist. I draped mine over her shoulders and it was like the years melted away. Dax and Jacinta, best friends like we were sitting on the bench in the cafeteria back in the fifth grade.

"Why are you here?" she asked again. "How long have you been here? How long are you staying?"

"Give me a chance, Jacinta!" I laughed. "You've never let me talk."

She giggled. "Okay, I'll just sit here and you can talk."

"I have an RV," I told her. "I'm off touring the country and I just wanted to see the area. I've been here three days and I don't have a schedule. But why are you here? Last time I heard, you were in LA."

A shadow crossed her face, then it was gone. "I moved back three years ago," she said. "I have a real estate office here, and business is booming! Are you going to stay for a while? I'd love to catch up. What are you doing tonight?"

She hadn't changed a bit. She made me smile, inside and out. "I have no plans," I told her. "I get up every morning and decide what I'm going to do today."

"Umm... Dax, I know you're married and you have kids," she said. "Is your wife with you?"

It was my turn to be a little hesitant. "I'm divorced, Peach. It's a long, boring and painful story."

"I don't have time for long, boring and painful stories right now." She flashed me one of her blinding smiles. God, she was gorgeous. "You're taking me to dinner tonight," she said. "I have a showing in 20 minutes. Give me your number."

I did, and she immediately sent me a text. "Save me in your contacts," she said. "I'll text you with the time and my address. Do you just have the RV?"

"No, I have a Jeep I tow," I said.

"Good, you can drive," she said. "I gotta run, Dax. God, it's so good to see you! I can't wait for tonight. Wear a shirt with a collar."

She stood, kissed my cheek and she was gone, leaving behind the scent of her and my mind reeling. She was just the same. If anything, she was hotter than she had been in high school. She was rounder, and more muscular. It was obvious that she worked out, a lot, and her ass as she walked away was just maddening in that dress she had on.

She had always produced a roller-coaster of emotion in me, and that hadn't changed a bit. I prowled around, window shopped, and I remembered something: Jacinta loved turquoise. She collected it all the time I knew her. I wondered if she still did. I was reminded when I went by a shop that had handmade turquoise and silver jewelry. I went in and shopped.

The woman who made the jewelry was very talented. There was a heavy silver arm-band with a big stone in it, and it had a delicate little ankle bangle with stones attached around it, making a matched set. I got it and had it wrapped. I hoped Jacinta was still collecting it.

I went back to the RV park, used their facilities, put on black slacks and a button-down pink shirt, splashed on some cologne and felt like I was as ready as I ever would be. She texted me her address and I got my iPad going for directions.

When I got there, I was shocked. This was the old section of Ojai, and she had quite a place. There were gardens, a black wrought-iron fence, a gate, a guest-house over a garage and the house looked worth millions. It was old, stucco, three-story and I felt intimidated. I parked on the street, buzzed at the gate and she let me in. I walked past fountains, an explosion of flowers everywhere, a large koi-pond and up to the front door. I could see what looked like a late-sixties green Jaguar E-type in front of the garage. There were mature avocado trees everywhere, and it was a hell of a place. I wondered exactly how well that real estate business was doing!

The bell made an impressively deep and resonant ding-dong, and when she answered the door, I was paralyzed.

Her hair had always been gorgeous. She had a mane of dark luxurious curls and there were auburn highlights in it. She was wearing a purple dress that left her shoulders bare, smooth brown skin on display, and plunged daringly into the deep valley between breasts that had always been breathtaking. They were even more so now than they had been the last time I saw her. The dress was short, she had on higher heels with straps that wound around her calves, displaying a mile of gorgeous brown leg.

She saw the look on my face and giggled, doing a little turn for me so I could get the full effect. God, she was gorgeous. "Do I pass?" she asked.

I managed to thaw enough to speak. "Don't fish for compliments, Jacinta. You know what you look like. You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

That was the right answer. She threw herself on me and hugged me tightly for a long moment. "God, it's good to see you, Dax. I've missed you so much."

"Hey, I brought you something," I said.

She looked in the gift bag, dug in the tissue and pulled out the box. She opened it and made a little squeal of delight. "I can't believe you remembered!"

That got me a kiss on the cheek and another hug. It was a good investment.

I petted her and she purred, then stepped back. "Let me get my bag," she said. "I booked us at the Boathouse on Hendry's Beach." She walked back into the house and I looked around. The entry had a winding staircase, it looked like marble, that went up all three stories. There was a tall grandfather clock between two windows and an enormous chandelier hanging from what looked like a gilt-decorated ceiling. Everything about the place suggested opulence.

She was back in a few seconds, and she held my hand as we walked out to the gate. "Umm... are you sure you want to take my Jeep?" I asked.

She laughed. "What? You think I'm too good to ride in a Jeep? I'm still me, Dax."

I had to chuckle. "Well, you seem to be overdressed for a Jeep, and damn, Jacinta, you are doing well for yourself by the looks of this place.

She looked up at me and giggled, her face radiant and very white teeth flashing. "I did good, huh?"

"You have. What are you into, girl?"

We got in the Jeep and she got the driving directions going on her phone. "Well, right now I'm wrapping up a deal for a property development out on Lake Casitas," she said. "As soon as I get the city to sign off on it, I'm going to get a very big payday. Real estate is crazy here, Dax."

"I can only imagine," I said. "Catch me up on your life."

"Well, that's like a big book," she said. "Damn, how long has it been? Let's see... I moved up to West Covina, became an agent for a large firm and worked my little ass off. I made a bunch of money, got really lucky and opened my own agency." She hesitated. "I don't have enough time to tell you before we get to the restaurant. You tell me about you. I know you have kids."

"I do," I told her. I had her open up my iPad, used my face to unlock it and she scrolled through my photo albums.