Why I Hated The Guy From The FBI Ch. 16

Frank started taking pictures. Philip did not fall. He grabbed his heart, his face went white, with shock, and he stumbled three steps backward. He knew about the marriage contract, between his and the Mancuso families. However, he did not know every detail of the contract. If his family could arrange a contract of marriage, for an American woman, why couldn't it happen in reverse?

He did not see Antonia wink at Celeste. All he heard was his bride saying to her, "I think that is a wonderful idea. However, now is not the right time to invest the money, we will just keep it in cash, until the markets start to rebound. PA is going to look just like his father. Regardless, if my daughter takes after her father or me, she will be beautiful. I will have my lawyers here, for my wedding, and tell them to draw up the papers. I will talk to Ann and Charlie about this, when they come in next week."

When Philip heard this conversation, his mind whirled, and he had to sit down. At that point, Frank, Antonia, and Celeste started to laugh.

Antonia walked over to Philip and hugged him. She said, "I want you to know Frank said it was okay to pull this one on you. He was going to call the Bishop, but then he said I could get this one out of my system, before I turned 20."

Philip's eyes opened wide, when he realized what had happened to him. He grabbed Antonia, and put her over his lap.

Antonia yelled, "Frank, help me!"

Frank replied, "My hands are full; I am holding the baby. You will have to fend for yourself."

Philip started spanking her behind, and Antonia yelled, "I am going to get even with you, Philip."

Philip replied, "EVEN; you are three up on me. You should thank your lucky stars I am not using Frank's belt."

"Did that bitch tell you that story?"

"Where else would I have heard about you two double teaming Frank?"

"Celeste always said you were an idiot. Frank was double teaming us."

Celeste and Frank were laughing, when Antonia stood up, rubbing her sore behind. They were waiting for her to retaliate against Philip, but she stuck out her hand to help Philip stand up, instead.

"How many pictures did you get Frank?"

"I took enough to make a collage on our bedroom wall."

"I do not want it for our wall. I wanted enough for Celeste's ceiling. That way, while they are making love, Celeste will have something else to laugh about."

Philip retaliated by saying, "You little mouse, I should squash you like a bug."

Antonia's eyes turned red. Philip realized what he had done, and prepared to run.

Frank put his arm around his wife, and said, "NO! You have had enough fun for today. Killing him would serve no purpose, and your gown would go to waste."

"Frank, I was not going to kill him. I was just going to make sure that one part of him was not going to work for a few years."

Celeste looked at her friend and said, "Why were you going to punish me?"

"Italian law says, "If your husband is unable to perform his marital duties, you may use a surrogate in his stead."

Philip looked at her dubiously. "Where in God's name did you hear that?"

"It was a question on my pre-law final exam. I aced the test, so I know my answer was correct."

Celeste walked over to Frank, took him by the arm, put her head on his chest, and while she was looking at Philip, she said to Frank, "Would you like to reconsider Antonia's request?"

Philip said, "Celeste!"

"I was just fooling with you, Philip. I thought your sense of humor was getting better. I may have to retract that statement."

"When it comes to the person I love most in this world, I take everything seriously."

Antonia said, "Celeste, I told you, before you met him, that he was your man. When you ran away from him, it made my prediction a certainty. Who has $1000 they want to lose?"

Frank immediately said, "It is 'Not Me;' you have enough of my money already."

Antonia looked at Celeste and Philip and said, "It does not matter who loses your money, because it is like taking it from both of you anyhow."

"What are we going to bet on this time?"

"We are going to bet on the number of children you are going to have. I do not care if the two of you decided to use birth control pills, condoms, foam, the rhythm method, or anything else. The only thing you cannot do is have a tubal ligation or use an IUD."

Philip jumped in with both feet, hands, and his ass. "I will take that bet and raise it to $5000, if you can afford it."

Celeste smacked him and said, "Do not show off; and mind your manners."

Philip apologized, and asked Antonia how many children they were going to have.

Antonia said, "Philip, I think you should sit down."

"No, Antonia, just tell me what you have to say. You cannot know what is going to happen; only God knows."

"Okay Philip, you asked for it. Celeste is going to have FIVE gorgeous children. This is the point where our bet ends. Would you like to know more?"

"Is this part of the bet?"

"No Philip, it is not. You would have to give me big odds to make this part of the bet.

"So you are not really sure of your predictions?"

"I am sure, but like any bookmaker, I want more of your money, for longer odds of being correct."

"I will stay with the initial wager, and listen to your ramblings.

"Celeste first four children are going to be 'GIRLS,' BLONDE-HEADED, GREEN EYED, SMART AS A WHIP, TALL, WILLOWY, CHARISMATIC GIRLS! The fifth child will look like its father; whoever he might be. It will have DARK HAIR, DARK EYES, TALL, STRAIGHT, STRONG, and SMART. As you may realize Philip that lets you out."

"Fuck you, Antonia. So, my fifth child is a boy?"

Antonia smiled at him and replied, "Did I say that?"

"You said it was going to look just like me."

"I said the child would look likeITS father; and would haveITS fathers' genes. I never said it would be yours, or if it was going to be a boy or girl."

"You bitch; you are not going to tell me. You are going to let me wait until the very end. You are going to make sure that Celeste and I have five children. You planned this so you could win your bet."

"There is nothing to keep Celeste from having a sixth child, if you two are still married at that time?"

"Antonia, do not go there. Like Frank and you, we are married for life. If I have to keep her pregnant forever to keep her, I will."

Celeste said, "Hello, are you two having fun, playing with my body?"

Antonia laughed and said, "Speaking of bodies, how do you like mine?"

"If you get a thinner, you are going to blow away, with the wind."

"I was not talking about that, even though I am now 101 pounds, tubby. In between the belly button, and the chin, do you notice the difference?"

"Yes, I can see you are wearing a padded bra."

"I am not; however, if you inflate those Michelin's anymore, you are going to resemble both ends of the Goodyear blimp."

"You know these are mine, and not purchased at the local drugstore."

"I want to make sure those are yours. Does anyone have a nail and a hammer? I understand it is hard to get through that steel tread."

"I will get even with you for that you ugly little gnome."

"I ordered a gurney to carry you down the aisle, just in case you were too fat to walk."

"I am only 148 pounds, insect. I am close to where the doctor told me to be."

"I got you again, Celeste. You are so easy."

"Oh fuck; I hate you, you little worm. I hate you for breathing the same air I do. You catch me every time I have something I want to hide from you. I can keep corporate secrets, without batting an eyelash. If you worked for a competing company you would probably know our balance sheets, within a week."

"I love you, Celeste; that is why the only person I will ever work for is you." The two women hugged each other tightly. However, Antonia and whispered into Celeste's ear, "Your fifth child is going to be a boy; however, I do not want you to tell Philip, unless he begs really good, and for a really long time."

To cover up what they were talking about, Antonia said, "I cannot believe you are a size 48. You are not due until October. Those tits could grow another 6 inches by then; you could set a record."

Celeste reared back and swung at her friend. Antonia ducked under the wild swing, and two men rushed to catch Celeste, before she lost her balance, and fell to the floor. When she regained her composure she turned to Antonia and said, "You had better carry your gun with you, because this means war."

"With those tits, you could not site in your weapon. Wait until after you deliver her; then we will go to Phillip's gun club, and shoot him, for getting you pregnant."

"If I kill him, you will lose your bet, because I would only have one child."

"You would have one child by him, while he is alive. I could lend you Frank, but he would ruin you for other men. We would have to save Phillip's sperm for future use. As his widow, you could have as many children as you want using that material, even though his body is no longer with us."

Celeste laughed. "Talk about getting fucked; having his baby, without any foreplay."

Antonia looked at her slyly, and said, "With Philip gone, I could help you with the foreplay."

Frank said, "Antonia, what are you thinking?"

"I would not be cheating on you Frank. I would be helping a woman, in her time of need."

Philip replied, "Does anyone have a shovel; the manure is getting very high around here."

Frank said, "BULL SHIT!"

"What," replied Philip?

"We call it BULL SHIT Philip. The BULL SHIT is getting very high around here. It sounds a lot better that way."

"Thank you Frank. Antonia, my face will be the only face eating Celeste pussy for the next 70 years or more. Did you hear me? Keep your face and your hands away from my wife."

"She is not yours yet, Philip. "

"I think it is wonderful having you two fighting over me, but I am hungry. Frank and I are going for breakfast, with PA. You two stay here, and when you are finished let me know who won me, as their prize. Then I will let you know if I accept your decision. Frank is there a kosher deli around here?"

"It is not kosher but I know where you can get a corned beef and pastrami sandwich, on Rye, with Russian dressing on the side. I will be able to make you the egg cream, if that is what you would like."

"And they say money cannot buy you love. Frank, those words just bought you mine. Take me there as quickly as you can."

"Antonia, give me the car keys, please."

"Like hell, I am going with you. I would rather eat, that stay with Philip."

"Thank you Antonia, the feeling is mutual. Celeste, get into our limousine and the chauffeur will take us there."

"Where will he take us Philip? Does he know where this deli is? Does he read minds? Did you ask Frank for the name, and address of this restaurant? You are truly going to love the training you are going to get this year. You may want to divorce me, before it is over."

Philip walked over to her and put his arms around her. "Dear, they could starve me; beat me with a cane; keep me in solitary confinement; water board me; or any other type of torture available. I will never, ever divorce you, while I have breath in my body."

Celeste turned to hide the tear falling from her eye and said, "Can we get a move on it, now the baby is hungry."

The next word out of her mouth was 'OW,' because Philip smacked her on her rump, for trying to hide her emotions from him.

"You will pay for that, while we are in bed, Philip."

"On no, not that; anything but that," he said, laughing.

While walking towards their cars, Celeste asked Antonia if she had seen Marlon, recently.

She replied, "Yes, I have. He is running all over the city, with his new lady-friend. They make a very handsome couple."

"That old dog is like a sailor. He has one or more women, in every port. She hit his speed dial number, and waited for him to answer.

"Yes Madam."

"Hello Marlon; what are you doing?"

"I am busy."

The next thing Celeste heard was a dial tone. She looked at her phone, with a startled expression. Then, she started laughing. "That old bastard was getting laid."

Satisfied, with their late morning meal, Celeste and Antonia left their men to their own devices, and went to have Celeste's wedding dress fitted for the last time. Everyone marveled at the dress, and the fact that it did not have to be completely refitted for her, because her aunts had taken her pregnancy into consideration. It fit her body perfectly. Everyone knew she was pregnant; and showing her little belly would not be a surprise to anyone.

Celeste had three more months before she delivered her little one, so she did what comes naturally for her. She went shopping; however, this time it was not for her, it was for her little girl. She looked at Antonia and said, "If you are wrong, about the sex of my baby, you are paying for these clothes."

"When I am right, you will pay me double their cost."

"I did not say that, Antonia. You win too often for me to bet against you. I am just hedging my bets."

"I am hedging mine, also."

"You are incorrigible you little gnome. I hate you."

"Yes, I know, however, I bring a little sunshine into your life every day."

"If you were to say that to Philip, he would add that you also bring thunderstorms along with it."

"Sunshine all day would be boring. Lightning livens up the day."

"Are you all set for tomorrow?"

"Yes, my mom and dad have taken care of everything. Do you remember what you are supposed to say?"

"I am supposed to say something?"

"I gave you and Philip the cards, before we left for Ann are wedding. You have not looked at them at all?"

Celeste laughed, "It is about time I was able to put one over on you, squirt."

"You are a spiteful person, Celeste. I would not do that to your child."

"I did not do that to your child; I did that to you, and it was wonderful."

"Celeste, you are taking advantage of my new, good nature. What else is there about you that you do not want me to know?"

"I will never tell you anything ever again. You are a witch and you will find a way to get it out of me, one way, or another. I should send you out as an industrial spy. You would be the best in the business."

"If you will not tell me, I will get it out of Philip. He is even easier than you are."

"Can I shop for clothes, now? I will find a hangar, and put you on display in juniors."

"Very funny, fatso."

"I am not fat, I am pregnant."

"Your tits get any bigger, they are going to milk you like a Holstein."

"You would not mind getting your mouth around them, again."

"Now you are not playing fair."

"I knew that would shut you up." She put her arm around a frowning Antonia, and started shopping for baby clothes, in earnest.

56. PA Christens' his Godfather

3 PM Sunday afternoon was the scheduled time for Philip Anthony Gennaro's Baptism, and to no one's surprise, everyone was early. Philip Anthony was not interested at all in these proceedings, until it was time to take off his white gown.

Celeste whispered to Antonia, "He is only a few weeks old, and look at the size of that thing! He is definitely his father's son."

Antonia joked with her and said, "One of the sonograms showed him playing with it."

Celeste looked at her in amazement; until Antonia winked at her.

Celeste said, "And people say I am bad."

PA slept through most of it, until it was time to have his body submerged in the baptismal fount. Antonia untied the gown, while Frank held him in his arms. When he was as naked as the day he was born, she picked him up and transferred him into Celeste's arms.

Celeste and Philip stood side-by-side and repeated the words Bishop Delphini said to them as part of the 'Ritual of Baptism.'

The parents and grandparents beamed with pride, and the crowd around them did not utter a sound.

When it was time, Celeste lowered Philip Anthony into the Ceremonial Fount, in the great cathedral, until his body was submerged. PA stretched his arms out as if he was taking a bath, and did not cry. The Bishop poured water over Philip's exposed head and completed the prayers of the baptism.

As Celeste raised him out of the water and put him into the large towel Philip was holding; Philip Anthony did what many babies do when they come out of the warm water, into the cool air. He peed. This time it was into his godfather's face.

Frank laughed hysterically, because Philip forgot to move out of the way. He kept sputtering as the urine was hitting his face.

Frank said, "Philip, I think I should have warned you about that possibility."

The laughter in the Cathedral could have raised the roof of the ancient building. Pictures of Philip would be on the Internet the next day, and would be hung at his winery, for the next year. He would never live it down; his brothers and sisters would make sure of it.

On the shores of the Atlantic Ocean, Don Antonio Castronova sat looking at the hundreds of pictures of the christening, with two of his daughters, sitting at his side. He was laughing so hard, they had to take the pictures way from him, for fear he might hurt himself. After a while he said to his daughter's, "When you get home, tell my son this is what he gets for pissing me off, and not joining the 'Family business.'"

57. Prelude to a wedding

Philip's oldest brother, Antonio, was going to be best man, at the wedding, and he had arranged for the bachelor party. It was going to be a very intimate affair for 322 men. Not all of them would be attending the wedding, however that evening was to be a no holds barred event.

Philip warned his brother, "If a woman touches me, I am gone, and I will never talk to you again. I will never say what goes on at that party, but I will have no part of it."

Antonio said, "Philip marriage is forever. Family is forever. Sex is just sex. You can have it with anyone you want, and it does not tarnish who you are."

"Your reasoning is the same as our fathers. That is the same reason I decided not to join our family's business. You can keep your brothels, your drugs, and other businesses. I will never say one word against you; ever. Marriage to me is "Sacro Sanct." I will never defame it. I will never cheat on my wife. I will never go back on my vows. As God is my witness, whatever temptations are put in my way, I would kill myself first."

"Brother that is a mortal sin."

"Antonio, my marriage vows are important to me. Do not put them and our family into conflict."

"Philip, you were always the rebel in the family. Why should you be any different now? Have a long and happy marriage, brother; may God grant you many children."

"Do you feel like making money, Antonio?"

"You should never ask me a question you already know the answer to Philip."

"Go to one of your competitors bookmaking shops and place a large, long-term bet. In the years to come bet that Celeste and I will have five children: Four blonde-haired, green-eyed girls and one boy who will look like me, in that order. You should be able to make a fortune with that information."

"What mystic did you go to find that information out?"

"She is not a mystic. She is a close friend you do not want to piss off. She has predicted things you would not believe, and she has yet to be wrong. Celeste has had a sonogram, but we did not ask for the sex of the baby. It will be a girl, I am as sure of it as I am sure I am standing in front of you."

"If I lose, will you cover the wager?"

"If I win will you give me half?

"Brother, half of an ill-gotten gain?"

"All of it will go to the Cathedral, because Sunday, I am marrying the 16th richest person in the world."

"SHIT! I knew she was rich, I did not know she was that rich."

"I thought you knew how to use the Internet. All you had to do was Google it."