Brian's Mom: An Incest Novella

Lena walked around her neighborhood for almost three hours before making her way back to her house. She still had no idea why Brian would write that story knowing it was her job to grade it. Lena was still traumatized, but at least her walk made her feel more level-headed.

It was a frightening time. The only was able to decide on two things. She decided that she would not tell her husband for the time being, and she determined that the only way she could ever have any form of relationship with her son would be if she simply talked to him about what in the world he was thinking.

As to why she came in her kitchen to her son's story? Lena reasoned that even for a rough draft it was quality erotica and designed to get people off. It said a lot about her son's writing ability but said nothing of her desires.

***** Ch. 3

Upon finally re-entering her home, Lena could tell by the abandoned backpack on the living room floor that Brian had gotten back from playing video games at his friend's house. Rick was away on business for the next two days, which was normal, and Lena knew the best time to talk to her son about his startling essay was right now.

The problem was the Lena did not know how to approach the conversation. Brian had to know he would have to answer for his actions, right?

Four times Lena climbed up the stairs to his room before walking back down. She would have loved for that home office Brian described to be real. That way she could hide in it.

After another failed attempt at summoning the courage and wisdom needed to handle this weird and awful situation, Lena admitted she needed help.

It felt strange even typing it into the search bar, but Lena tried to research how to handle her son having strong sexual desires for her. It took a lot of searching. Information from psychology and parenting sites did not actually address how to talk about her son's actions. Lena needed someone with experience in dealing with this to help her.

It was not long afterward that Lena found an internet forum. In the forum, there were some mothers, but plenty more sons, talking about their experiences with the delicate matter. One mother stood out, as she was competently answering questions and was highly active on the site in sharing her experiences.

Lena sent a private message to the user, an older mother named Keisha, that contained a rundown of her situation. Lena did not expect a quick response, but within ten minutes, Keisha replied, "I can understand a lot of what you're going through. The first thing you need to know is that you did nothing wrong. Some boys go through this. Both of mine did."

Lena glanced away from her inbox to recheck Keisha's profile picture. She saw her attractive caramel face and fit body. She went back to reading the email. "You will see all sorts of professionals offer theories and advice, but they will never have any idea what you are going to have to go through. As a mother, you cannot afford to get this wrong. I made mistakes with my older son, and we ended up barely speaking for four years." Lena cringed at that statement.

"I then learned from my mistakes so I was able to maintain a healthy relationship with my younger son when he began to show those same confusing signs. I can tell you right now that this is not going to be a quick fix for you. You are going to need to put forth a lot of effort, but it is the only way you can avoid making my mistakes. The good news is that you are already making good decisions. You are right that you should absolutely talk to your son and absolutely not tell your husband. This needs to be handled with emotional precision, and men do not tend to have that when other men are interested in their partners. You need to be understanding and sympathetic of where your son is coming from and why he chose to do something like he did. Nudge him, but do not push him. Allow him to explain himself on his terms, but make sure he opens communication with you. I get email alerts on my phone, so please do not hesitate to contact me with questions."

Lena thanked her new online friend. She knew what she needed to do, and now she had the confidence she needed in her decision.

Back at the top of the stairs, Lena breathed deeply and knocked on her son's door.

"Yes?" Brian called out.

"Hey, it's me," Lena responded, her voice poised but wavering.

It was a little bit before Brian answered. "Ok."

Remembering what Keisha advised, Lena told him through the door, "I just want to let you know that I read your story." It was already a painfully uncomfortable and stressful conversation, but there was no other way.

Brian did not respond, so his mom continued, "I think it is important we talk about it. You don't need to open your door, and we don't need to talk about all of it right now. You aren't in trouble, and this doesn't need to hurt our relationship. I am just trying to understand. How about we start by you just telling me for sure that you wrote it?" Lena knew the answer, but Brian needed to say it.

Minute after minute of silence passed. It was concerning that he was not even willing to communicate with a short response. He writes erotica and emails it to me for my review and grading but won't even say that he wrote it. Lena sighed.

That was when something Keisha said hit Lena. She was supposed to communicate with him through his means. He was clearly comfortable with written communication. Lena's mind went to pen and paper, but she immediately imagined Rick finding the exchange. She certainly did not want to have texts in her number going to her son and one of his friends seeing it on his phone. Based on his story, he clearly liked the idea of email.

Lena opened her laptop again in the kitchen and created a burner email address. She sent her son a message with just a few basic questions. "Hey. Again, I am not angry with you. I am trying to understand things so we can at least communicate about this. I want to know for sure if you wrote the essay. And if you did, I want to know why you chose to write it and why you sent it to me as a part of a school assignment instead of just giving this to me at home. You can respond when you want to, but I think it would be best for both of us if you do it tonight."

The mom walked up the stairs and announced, "I just sent you an email from a new address. You can reply to it when you'd like."

It was up in the air as to if Brian would respond. Lena distracted herself by watching tv but could not resist refreshing her email nearly every minute. After more than an hour of waiting, Lena perked up at the sight of a new email in her inbox.

"Yes, I wrote the story. I guess I needed to tell you how I feel in a way where you would listen to me. It's been really hard to not say anything for so long. I thought the best way to tell you would be in a way where you kind of had to pay attention and hear me out. I needed to know that you would know everything about how I see you. I thought if I wrote it in a way that you liked and made you want to keep reading more, then maybe you wouldn't reject it right off the bat."

Lena breathed. Brian actions made more sense. She had to read it, and if he engrossed her in the story, then she might be more willing to accept his feelings or maybe realize she felt the same way. It made her wonder how long he had thought about her intimately, and it was probably a strain to stay silent for a long time.

Giving it some time first, Lena then replied, "Ok. Thank you for telling me that. I now get why you sent it to me in the way you did." Then came a painfully awkward question to ask. "And the way you wrote about me and all of the things you talked about us doing- How close is this story to the way you actually see me and feel about me? It is important you be honest with me."

Brian did not make her wait on a response, and Lena was encouraged. "I expressed it the best I could. I think what I said at the end of the story is the best way of putting it."

Keeping things flowing, Lena quickly asked, "How did you describe it in the end?"

She did not realize her mistake until Brian responded. "Wait, you didn't read the whole thing? I thought you did. You said you want to understand how I feel but you didn't even read the whole story."

Lena smacked her forehand. "Idiot," she called herself. It was clear Brian was frustrated and felt betrayed. Lena had just ruined their conversation. She was now on a path to be like Keisha with her first son.

Obviously, she could not tell him the truth that she came so badly she had to flip her seat cushion over. Lena needed advice again. So far, things were as difficult and delicate as Keisha had promised. Lena typed up a rundown of the situation. She then asked the experienced mother what reason she should give for why she did not read her son's entire story. And what was the best way to tell him she does not see him in the same way that he sees her?

Again, Keisha was prompt. "You have been doing such a good job of getting him to open up. It was smart of you to get him to communicate over email. The reason you have been doing so well is that he has been honest with you and vulnerable. You need to be the same way. Excuses and lies always fall apart. I am sure it will be awkward for you to tell him why you did not finish the story, but if you are vulnerable with him, then he is going to open up to you a lot more.

In regards to telling him now that you do not see him in the same way, delay that talk. Think about it. He spent a long time working up the ability to tell you this. He is hiding in his room and your relationship is hanging by a thread. Do not make him feel that his desires are not valid and that you do not even care enough about him to think them through for a day. Do not make the mistake I made with my first son by immediately crushing his dreams. Give him an honest reason why you cannot be with him without making it a personal rejection."

It was not exactly the advice Lena thought she would get. She found it hard to argue with any of those reasoned points. She knew that it would be hypocritical for her to demand honesty from Brian and turn around and lie to him.

Lena reached under a cushion in her round nook bench. She retrieved the infamous smut and opened it up to the final page. Finally responding to Brian, Lena wrote, "I see that you think it is 'time we evolve in the way that we show love and affection' in our mom/son relationship now that 'we're both adults.' I know I should have read the ending before trying to talk to you. The truth is that when I read the story this afternoon, I had an orgasm before I could finish. You are an excellent writer, and I think many people would have had that same reaction."

With no hesitation, Brian shot an email back. "I gave you an orgasm? Does that mean you feel the same way I do? When did you have it? I'm glad you liked it so much!"

Lena had guessed that once he read the word orgasm that he would get excited and not listen to her tone. Remembering Keisha's advice, Lena unsurely answered, "Yes, it was a well-written erotic story, and I allowed myself to enjoy it. I came right before there was penetration. What you need to fully understand is that your father and I are married, and I would not break our vows for anyone. Can you understand that?"

"I understand. I knew that was probably the case. I'm glad I could make you feel that way though. I'm sorry if I made you freak out or if I ruined our relationship. I just need you to know how I feel. I just need more than what our relationship is."

It was pleasant that Brian accepted that their relationship could not be like it was in his wild fantasies. What confused Lena, however, was how her son wanted their relationship to be more than it is, even though she just told him it could never be romantic or sexual. Again, Lena turned to Keisha for advice.

"The first thing you need to understand, Lena, is what is going on with your son and why this all started. You are an attractive and mature woman in his life. He is an 18-year-old without a girlfriend, and you are his main female figure, or as he cutely puts it, his goddess. Plenty of boys fantasize about their moms- some a lot more than others. Once your son flies the nest, or even when summer comes, he is going to be chasing tons of women his age and you may no longer be the sex figure around him constantly. He will have more attainable women that can occupy his time and keep him happy. He accepts he will never have any type of sexual relationship with you. He is saying that he needs more without going to those lengths. It is not as if your relationship has to be sexual-or-nothing. Now that he told you how he feels, he needs a response that shows you care and that he is allowed to feel the way he does.

With my first son, I told him to forget about his feelings, and he felt our relationship was over. It was awful. I should have known that we could not go back to a normal relationship. With my second son, I asked him what made him first attracted to me. He told me he saw me bending over while gardening, and something just clicked. I knew he was going away to school to play football in a few months, so instead of telling him to pretend his feelings were not real, I simply invited him to garden with me whenever I went out.

We grew so much closer while gardening. I knew for him it was stimulating for him, but it was just enough to satisfy him for the time he had left at home, and we are both happier with the stronger relationship we have today."

Lena knew it was true that the relationship she had with Brian could never go back to normal. It could only grow or die.

In a new email to Brian, Lena assured him, "You did not ruin our relationship. I think we can have a stronger relationship that is better for both of us. I do need to understand though what first made you sexually attracted to me. Try to be specific."

Her son gave a helpful answer. "The first time I thought of you that way was when I came downstairs and you were in the kitchen in a white tank top. You were in short, pink workout shorts. The tank top was low and I could see the top of your bra. You looked so hot. Then you smiled at me to say good morning and I got an erection."

It seemed innocent enough. It was odd hearing him call her hot. Brian's comments also helped Lena piece together why he had snooped on her bras. Lena thought back to how she used to dress more casually around the house. Rick used to enjoy seeing her that way before he started traveling.

The idea of dressing in a more revealing way for her son felt so wrong. She imagined how Keisha had to bend over to garden knowing her son was getting an eyeful of her ass and maybe even getting hard. It would be awkward, but the risk of losing her relationship with her son made it worth trying.

"Brian, I think I have an idea on how we can have a stronger relationship that can make it less tense for both of us. Can we try talking with our voices again?"

"Ok. I guess."

Lena went upstairs to her son's door. She took another deep breath. "Hey, Brian."

"Hey, mom," he said quickly through the door.

"I am glad we're talking like this. So, I was thinking about how we could improve things. First of all, I want you to know I am okay with how you feel about me. I think our communication can keep getting better, and the best way to encourage that is if we start spending more time together." Lena swallowed, her throat tightening. "I know you like to spend time with me when I'm in more comfortable attire. So, on days when it's just us, how about instead of you hanging in your room, I breakout that tank top and we hang together in the kitchen while we work on our own things?"

"Wait... like you will wear the tank top from the email I just sent you? You're not worried about how I like the way you- And you're going to wear it every day we're alone?" The excitement was rising in Brian's voice, and Lena could already see Keisha was right about the power of this small gesture.

"Well, I have more clothes to wear than just that white tank top," Lena joked. "But they all have a similar vibe. I figure that spending time together will be great. And I don't see the issue with me helping you enjoy that time a little more. How does that sound?"

"Yeah, let's do that!" Brian was excited, and his mom felt a wave of relief. "So, are we going to start that tomorrow? I know you have to grade all those assignments, and I have some homework to do for Monday."

Oh fuck, it suddenly hit Lena, I have to give revision notes on his paper.

******** Ch. 4

"Hey, mom," Brian spat out when he came down in the late morning. There was a sense of nervousness and bewilderment about him.

Lena was in her white tank top, workout shorts, and just the tops of a light blue bra were poking out. "It's before noon. It's a miracle," she chided. She watched as her son placed a couple of books on the table, opposite her. It was clear that Brian could not tell if it was appropriate to glance at his mom's figure or not.

Brian had jerked off to this scene the night before, but experiencing it in person was something else. The outfit was nothing remarkable, but his mother was a gorgeous woman. She assumed Brian would be nervous at first, especially since he had not seen her cleavage in a long time, and now he was getting a healthy view.

"Do you just have history homework left?" Lena forced small talk.

"Wh-what? Oh, yeah." Brian was facing his mom's direction but was looking down at the table. He was afraid of her thinking he was checking her out or staring.

From her laptop, Lena messaged Keisha, "I am currently wearing the same outfit he saw me in when he first got turned on by me, and I told him I was doing it on purpose, and he is still insanely uncomfortable being around me. We are doing work and hanging out together like we used to love to do, but now it is weird. Part of me thinks this is too much, too fast. Do I just wait it out for when he learns he can look at me when I speak? To be completely honest, I am also still uncomfortable with the idea that he might be checking me out."

Minutes later, Keisha emailed, "Firstly, congrats! You guys are set up to spend a lot more time together. Secondly, you are doing everything right. You are already acting on your plan to spend more time together. You cannot be nervous, because he will always end up being more nervous than you are. Again, do not be afraid of being vulnerable and being real with him like yesterday. He will let his guard down, and you will both be better for it."

The learning mother looked at her son. She spoke honestly. "You seem a little nervous so far. I am, too, since this is pretty new for us. What do you think would make this less awkward for you?"

Brian finally looked at his mom's face. "I guess it's that I'm having trouble knowing how I am supposed to handle this ha-ha. I don't know where you're okay with me looking and what we can talk about. I'd like to have an idea."

"Hmm. Well, we can have all sorts of conversations while we work. I hate the idea of having bad small talk. And as far as where you can look, I think you should let your eyes go where they naturally want to. This is obviously new to me, but I dressed like this for a reason so you should help me get used to it."

"Okay," Brian nodded. "I just keep worrying that I'm going to get caught staring at your- uh, bra or something else, and it will be awkward."

Lena laughed for a bit, and it helped her shed more of her nerves. "At least look at my eyes when we're talking. But I will say that you staring at my bra or something else is less awkward than you staring at the table."