Let Go

"Here's what we do. I'll take charge of the legal stuff, that's my strong suit. Yours is sales, so you need to sell her on the idea of being an adult and doing what's best for both of them."

"Won't it look bad, a single older man taking a young woman and child in?"

That stung. Beverly finally let some of her temper loose. "You listen to me, Dave Waxman. You are not a single man! You have a wife, and she is not inclined to be referred to as the former Mrs. Waxman. It took all of this to wake me up, Dave, and I intend to never sleep again. I've missed you so badly, honey. But introspection has led me to understand that what happened is all on me. I took you for granted for so long that I got used to it. I got bad advice, went a little power mad, and screwed my life up in ways I could never imagine. Tonight was the first step on my way back to you. Do you still love me?"

It took everything she had to ask that question, and she was scared to death of the answer. He looked thoughtful, and it filled her with dread. "I love the you I fell in love with, not the you that you've become. IF we manage to start again, things will have to be a lot different. I'm not asking you to be submissive, Beverly, but I would insist on you acknowledging me as an equal. An equal that deserves your respect and a good bit more than the time you've given me for the last few years. I woke up after I left. I have no desire at all to go back to that life, and I'm damn sure never stepping foot in that house again. I need to know in my heart that if the situation ever arises, you would pick me over the business every time. Honestly, I don't think you can do it."

Beverly was crying, despite her best efforts not to, and he took her hand. "Honey, all that being said, I'd really like to try again. I miss not waking up beside you, the affectionate gestures we used to share before you got too important. There are a few things we need to do though. The first is to find a competent marriage counselor who can guide us back to each other. We need to set some ground rules on how we allocate our efforts, making sure there's always time for each other. Does this sound reasonable to you? Would you be willing to live here, in this house, if we get back together?"

It was too much! He wanted to save their marriage! He still loved her! She broke down, sobbing hysterically for at least five minutes while he held her, gently stroking her back. Eventually, she got herself together enough to answer him.

He waited, wondering if she understood what he told her. He'd never accept second billing ever again. If she wanted to stay married, it had to be to him, not the job. Honestly, he didn't think she could do it. She really surprised him with her answer.

"I agree to almost all of it. I'm not worried about the house. It's nice, but without you there it may as well be a box under an overpass. I'm sure the commute will suck until I get used to it, but if it helps save my marriage, I'll get over it pretty quickly."

She sighed. "I lost direction, honey, and I want to find my way back home. I need a guide, and I'm depending on you. The counselor is a really good idea. Do you want to find one, or shall I? We'll both have to agree, of course, before we commit."

It was a few minutes before she could go on, crying into his shoulder. She finally pulled back, wiping her eyes. "One of our first priorities should be to reestablish our intimacy. I know it's probably too soon for sharing a bed, but can I stay here tonight? I really need to wake up in the same house as you. As far as priorities, YOU are my main focus right now. I still have to work. Thanks to my blunder, I'm not in a very good position, so I have to really put effort into everything I do, but I will make sure I'm home at a reasonable hour. If something comes up that I absolutely can't walk away from, I'll call immediately. I'm willing to put forth maximum effort to ensure this never happens again."

He believed her, conditionally. Truth be told, once he got over the hurt that she had caused him, old feelings had started back. Most of their adult lives were entwined, and at the end of the day, he decided he didn't want to break them. He was serious about a counselor. If ever a couple needed professional help, it was them. She was saying all the right words and he was curious to see if she meant them.

"All right. You can have the room Ari took her nap in. It has its own private bath, and if you need something to sleep in we'll find you a shirt. Agreed?"

She surprised him by shaking her head. "No. I saw that big whirlpool tub in the master bath. I've been carrying around a load of tension lately, and I think soaking in it would do me a world of good."

Soon he heard her in the tub, singing softly. She had a really good voice, and he tried to remember the last time he'd heard her sing. He couldn't, so it must have been a really long time ago. It was one of her tells. She always felt extra happy when she sang. Forty minutes later, she came out wearing a tee-shirt that barely covered her bottom. Bev caught him looking and grinned, flipping it up as she exited the room. He stood in shock at the sight of her bare butt, listening to her giggles fade down the hall.

Hi eyes flew open, and the first thing he looked at was the clock. 2:30 in the morning. There was just enough moonlight to see her standing at the end of the bed. "Bev?"

"I couldn't sleep, knowing you were in the same house and not in the same bed. Can I please, please, sleep with you? That's all I want, just to snuggle and feel your arms around me. Please, Dave."

He could have been an asshole and sent her back down the hall. He could have done a number of other things, but he pulled back the covers. She slid in and he felt her trembling. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her tightly to him. He felt the tears, but said nothing. Very soon afterward, he heard her breathing level out and knew she was asleep. He lay awake for a long time, wondering about their future, before drifting off with a smile on his face.

*****

Her eyes popped open and she wondered what hotel room she was in. Then she felt his arms around her and it all came rushing back. She was in bed with her husband! And judging by the bulge pressing between the cheeks of her bottom, he was very glad she was. She started pressing back gently, sighing. This went on for a few minutes before she felt him start. She stopped, but when his hand slipped up to my breast and toyed with a nipple she moved again. She slid her shirt up and reached back to free him from his boxers when the door flew open and a little bundle of energy crawled up on the bed.

"Mr. Dave! Wake up."

Marsha stood at the door with her hands over her mouth. "I'm so sorry! I told her to stay downstairs, but as soon as my back was turned she took off."

Dave grinned, tickling Ari softly. She wriggled and cooed, loving every minute of it. "It's all right, Marsha. Now I have two beauties in my bed. How lucky can a man be?"

Beverly saw Marsha's expression and I knew something wasn't right. "What's wrong, honey?"

"We, um, well we, er ... Gramps hasn't gone grocery shopping lately. I was going to ask if I could give some of your cereal to Ari."

She could tell Marsha was embarrassed beyond words. Beverly's heart went out to her. "She doesn't need cereal, honey; she needs a good breakfast. Give us a minute to get dressed and we'll come down and fix something, or take you out if he doesn't have enough. All right?"

Marsha couldn't talk, she just nodded and gathered up a squirming Ari. "Come on, Ari. Let's get you some juice while Mr. Dave and Mrs. Beverly get dressed."

As soon as the door closed, Beverly whirled around, eyes blazing. "I'm sorry honey, I was hoping for some long overdue loving, but it can wait. Really, what kind of man doesn't make sure there's enough food in the house for his children? Where's your robe?"

She snatched it off the closet hook and was out the door. Dave followed a little more slowly after answering the call of nature. She was in the kitchen with all of the cupboards open, frowning. Dave was about to explain that, as a single guy, there was not much of a need to keep a stocked larder, but he thought better of it. Beverly didn't give him a chance, marching out to her car and getting The Bag, as Dave always called it.

One day, she was at a business luncheon and a vendor spilled red wine all over her light blue dress. She had to excuse herself, drive home, and change. After that, there was always a bag in her trunk that contained at least two outfits. Choosing the most casual dress, she was back, telling Dave to get his butt in gear, they had children to feed. A very quick shower and shave later, Dave was waiting by the door. Bev was almost as fast and he couldn't help but admire her. She always chose tasteful clothes, but was not adverse to showing off her toned body.

They almost didn't go out for breakfast when Beverly found out there was no car seat for Ari, but when Dave told her that they were less than half a mile from a really nice breakfast buffet, she decided to sit in the back with Ari until they got there.

***

The girls consumed mass quantities. He looked at Bev and knew she had the same thought. These children were missing meals. Her eyes were dark with anger and Ari asked if he was mad at her. Dave straightened his face and told her he was because she had eaten the last pancake. Then he grinned and told her it was a good thing that they could always get more.

There was a mall across the road, and in a tone that brooked no argument, Bev told Dave to pull into its lot. They were there for two hours.

First, she went to a department store and bought the best car seat they had, banishing him out to the parking lot to put it in. By the time he got back, they were in full shopping mode. Bev made sure they both got three outfits apiece. Ari loved it, but Marsha seemed embarrassed. Bev gently hugged her.

"Please let me do this. We never had children, and just once I want to pretend I'm out with my daughters doing mother-daughter stuff."

Ari got bored pretty quickly, so Dave walked her around while Marsha and Beverly finished up. Their last stop was a grocery store, and Ari rode as Dave pushed, while Bev and Marsha discussed everything that they picked up like they were going to use it to cook The Last Supper. Ari contributed by putting everything she could reach in the buggy, especially while they were in the snack aisle. Beverly started to put some of them back, but Ari made big eyes at her and she left them.

It was a quiet ride home. They were unloading the groceries when Beverly suddenly asked, "How many bedrooms do we have?". Dave found it very interesting when she said 'we'. "Four. Why?"

She just rolled her eyes, took the girls, and went upstairs. Ten minutes later she called him. Dave found them standing in the biggest guest room, the one with the attached bath. "This is the girl's room. It belongs to them now. It will be their sanctuary if things go bad. You need to make sure Marsha has keys so she can come over anytime. Understand?"

Marsha was standing there waffling between hopeful and scared. Ari was in Beverly's arms, almost asleep. Bev had that determined CEO look on her face. When he didn't say anything, he saw her start to tremble. Then he grinned.

"Well, so it shall be. I leave it to you girls to decorate it."

He turned to Marsha. "You understand what we're offering you?"

As an answer, she flew into his arms and cried her heart out. Bev put a sleeping Ari down and joined the hug. He left them a few minutes later, going into the living room to sit on his favorite recliner. He tried to understand how his life had changed so much in the last twenty-four hours.

Beverly came down a few minutes later, surprising him by joining him on his oversized recliner. Once she got comfortable, she started talking softly while gently stroking his chest. "This changes everything, doesn't it? I'm going back to the old house to pack what I need. I'm taking Marsha with me to help, so you're on Da ... er, childcare duties until we get back. Do not feed her junk, understand? Feed her something light to hold her until dinner. We'll be back in three hours."

She stood, then stopped, bending down to kiss him. He could see the fear in her eyes as she spoke. "That is, if you want me back."

He stood and hugged her. "We have a lot of issues to resolve, honey. Living apart from each other is not going to help solve them. You were always better at organizing things, so I'll leave it to you. This probably won't be easy, but I love you enough to try. Are you in?"

*****

Was she in? What a stupid question. She was about to use every metaphor in the English language before she caught herself and smiled through her tears. "I'm in."

His smile gave her a lot of comfort. She grabbed Marsha from upstairs and hustled her out the door. She was quiet for a while before she asked a question. "Why are you doing this? Helping us?"

She thought carefully before she answered. If they were to have any kind of relationship, she didn't want to start it off by lying to her. "First and foremost, I'm doing it because I like you and honestly want to help you. You're in a situation not of your own doing, alone and with a small child. What decent human being wouldn't want to help you? Secondly, you seem to be important to Dave, and by extension, to me. You know we were separated. This weekend is hopefully the first step of a long journey home."

She stopped for a second to gather her thoughts. "One of the things I discovered while we were separated was that Dave really wanted children and I was selfish enough to deny it to him. Then I met you and Ari, and emotions I didn't even know I had came surging out of me. Now, I bitterly regret my decision not to give him children. You girls are my do-over. I'll never be your mother, but I'd like to be the best mother-figure I can be to you and Ari, no matter what happens between Dave and me. You probably don't understand, but I would honestly like to try. May I?"

Tears glistened in her eyes and then she reached over and took Bev's hand. "Well, then, you can count me in on your campaign to get Dave back. After all, for a perfect family, both parental units have to be present, right?"

Beverly had to pull over. Marsha held her while she cried and she reveled in her touch. When she finally got herself together, she let her loose, kissing her softly on her cheek. "Thank you, baby."

When she called her "baby", she started sniffling, so they hugged again. She hit her with a bombshell. "To truly be my daughter, you need to live with us full-time. Now that you're eighteen, you can petition the courts to transfer custody of Ari to you. We'll pay for all the legal fees if you agree. It should be pretty simple, and when we're done, no one can take her away from us. You need to start practicing saying 'Yes, Mom'. Now would be good."

Beverly lost feeling in her hand because her grip was so strong. It came out as more of a sob than a statement, but she understood it as though she'd shouted it. "Y... Yes Mom."

She wandered through the house as she basically cleaned out her closets and dresser drawers. It took them four trips to get all the stuff in the car, filling the trunk and most of the back seat. "You have a beautiful house, but it doesn't feel like Dave's. His feels ... warm, you know?"

Beverly did know. "You're exactly right. I've lived in the cold long enough, baby. That's why we're selling it. I plan to never spend another night there. I find I love being warm."

*****

They came back with her car stuffed. Ari and Dave came out with her in his arms, and Dave asked Beverly why she didn't take her truck. She slapped his arm playfully. "Now you bring that up? We'll use it next time. Think about what you'd like for dinner while we unpack."

Dave thought he impressed Bev when he made a simple stir fry using chicken breasts, zucchini, carrots, ripe bell peppers in yellow and red, onions, mushrooms, and chopped Brussels sprouts. He served it over rice with a surprise. He'd taken parfait glasses, chopped up some tomatoes of different colors into little chunks, added basil leaves, and blended them with olive oil and a touch of vinegar. It was a very nice visual. Ari would have just eaten tomatoes if they'd let her. She had a bit of a temper tantrum and got her first experience with parental controls.

"Ari, do you want to grow up to be as pretty as your sister?"

Ari wondered where this was going, but she nodded her head. "Uh-huh."

"Then you have to eat different foods. You'll like what this tastes like. It has a whole lot of things you already like mixed together. Taste a spoonful."

Beverly took a small spoonful and fed it to her like a baby. Her eyes grew wide and she smiled. "More!"

Dave took a shot at the parenting thing. "That's 'More, Please'. And you should say thank you to Beverly for helping you learn something new."

She looked at Beverly and smiled. "More, please?"

She ladled a little on to her plate with shaking hands, and looked like she was going to burst with pride when Ari grabbed her hand. "Thank you."

The meal over, Bev took Ari to clean her up while Marsha banished Dave to the living room. Ari came back in, bathed and in pajamas, and crawled onto his lap. They watched a DVD Beverly had purchased while they were out, which was the move Frozen, and Ari managed to stay awake for most of it. it became her favorite movie, and they must have watched it a thousand times over the years.

Marsha walked next door and was back in just a few minutes. "Grandpa is gone and the door is locked."

Beverly could see the steam coming out of his ears and put a hand on his shoulder. She grinned at Marsha. "Good thing we got you those pajamas then. Go get ready for bed."

Marsha bathed and came out in shorty pajamas that showed a lot of leg but were conservative enough. Beverly grinned at his expression. "Only one of them is a little girl, honey."

They were all in bed by ten, and both of them had to work in the morning. Beverly came out of the bath in a sexy little baby-doll that did her figure justice. She saw Dave watching and twirled. His eyes went wide when he saw there were no panties. She giggled. "It comes with panties, but I figured it would be a waste of time to put them on. You, sir, are five months behind on your husbandly duties and I expect you to make up some of it tonight."

Then she got quiet and said in a small voice, "That is, if you want to."

He stood up and slipped the gown over her head. "In my opinion, you wasted time putting anything on. I love you, Beverly."

*****

Just like that, her amorous mood vanished. She was too overcome with emotions to be aroused anymore. He still loved her!

He started kissing her, stroking her body in his familiar way, and she melted. It didn't take long for the fire to return. He was surprised when she grabbed a pillow. "It's to scream into, baby. You know how much I enjoy making love to you and how loud I can get. We have children in the house and I don't want to wake them, so I'll be biting this pillow a lot tonight. I hope so, anyway."

She didn't know how many times she bit down, but it was enough to put a hole in the pillow. She was glad pillows were pretty cheap, but if it cost her half her salary a week, it would be worth it.

Their alarms were set, but Ari decided she would be their wake-up call. She was glad now that she made Dave put his boxers on and had slipped her gown on, with the panties this time. They snuggled her for a while until Marsha appeared and took Ari while they showered and dressed. They played with each other a little, but they couldn't get serious because of time constraints.