On Being Proactive

The following week Tracy started acting the way she did during the period leading up to her date with Barry. She wasn't talking to me very much and when she did she would not look at me. Then at night when we went to bed she wanted to have sex.

Was she planning to get together with Barry again or could this be a new man? Maybe the excitement she had gotten out of her near affair with Barry had whet her appetite for having an affair and now she had found another man. I was getting that same pain in my stomach and I was losing sleep again.

The following weekend Jill and Frank and their son Frank junior came up to visit and go to a Reds' game with us. They stayed for the weekend and we had a great time with them and I hoped that it would help things between Tracy and me. That Saturday night we were all sitting in the back yard having a few beers and grilling some steaks. Tracy, Jill and Frank were talking about some of there old friends when Frank brought up the subject of Barry Fox. He asked Tracy if she had ever gotten a hold of Barry's wife Karen. When Tracy said that she hadn't, Frank told her the whole story about how Karen had divorced Barry for having several affairs and about how he had girlfriends in different cities and then he went into detail about how Barry pretended to have to travel on business so he could visit his girlfriends. I couldn't believe it. Frank had enlightened Tracy with the truth about Barry and I had never even mentioned his name.

I thought that if Tracy had been thinking of getting together with Barry again maybe she would change he mind now that she heard this story about Barry from Frank. Now she had to know what kind of person he really was.

Tracy's expression didn't change so I couldn't tell how this news affected her. She didn't ask any questions so I had no way to know what she was thinking. Did this upset her or did she not care anymore? Although I didn't know how she felt about the news, I was glad Frank brought it up.

The situation came to a head in October. My birthday is on October 11, which fell on the second Friday of the month. In years past Tracy would work on me for weeks trying to get hints from me about what I wanted for my birthday. This year she never even asked once. By Thursday Tracy wasn't even speaking to me anymore. It was as though our marriage was already over but someone forgot to tell me.

Friday morning I got up early and left for work before Tracy got up. I tried to stay busy but I was heart broken. I couldn't understand how things could have been going so well for us and suddenly turn so bad. By eleven o'clock that morning I hadn't accomplished a thing and was thinking of taking the rest of the day off as a sick day.

I hadn't quite decided whether to go home or not when Jack Farris called me. Jack is my boss. He said that our office in Lexington was having some network problems and he wanted me to drive down there to fix the problem.

"Can't Tom handle the problem?" I asked.

Tom Mosley was the network manager in the Lexington office.

"Tom is on vacation today," Jack said.

It was an eighty-five mile drive to the Lexington office and I got there around 1:30 PM. When I walked in the door I was told that they had just gotten the network back on line. I was a little pissed that I had driven all the way to Lexington for nothing. Apparently Tom Mosley had called in from home and was able to fix the problem over the phone.

Brian Cadwell, the office manager, apologized for the inconvenience and then invited me to go across the street to a Starbucks for a cup of coffee before heading back to Cincinnati. I arrived back in my office at 4:15 PM. There were two report requests sitting on my desk with a note from Jack asking me to pull the data for the reports and get them finished before I went home. I was upset that he would stick me with this late on a Friday afternoon after sending me to Lexington. It would take me two hours to pull the necessary data and finish the reports.

"Screw it," I said to myself. I didn't have anywhere to go anyway and the idea of rushing home to a wife that doesn't even want to talk to me wasn't all that appealing so having something to occupy my time was a bit of a blessing.

I was about to start working on the reports when I saw the message light on my phone blinking. I dialed into my voice mail and received one message. The message was left for me at 1:30 that afternoon and it was from Tracy.

"Allen, I am going out with some girls from work tonight. I might be late so don't wait up for me. I asked Sarah to come over until you get home but don't be too late."

Out with the girls? Who the fuck is she trying to kid?

Then I thought maybe she wasn't trying to fool me. Maybe she was sending a clear message that she had something going on and didn't care if I knew about it.

I picked up my phone and called Tracy's office and was told that Tracy had already left for the day. I called home and Sarah answered the phone and said that Tracy had already left there.

"Did she say where she was going?" I asked.

"No."

"How was she dressed?"

"She was wearing jeans and a sweater," Sarah said.

That didn't tell me anything.

I tried Tracy's cell phone but she didn't answer. I left her a message asking her to call me but I didn't have much hope that she would call. I wondered if there was any significance to Tracy doing this to me on my birthday.

This time I couldn't do anything to stop her. I had no idea where she went and if she wouldn't answer her phone there was nothing else I could do. It struck me that maybe I should not have interfered with Tracy when she had her date with Barry. If I had just let her go then the death of our marriage would already be over and instead of going through this pain again, I would have already started to rebuild my life.

I tried to put all of that out of my mind and started pulling the data for the reports. At 6:15 I was finishing the second report when my phone rang.

"Allen?"

"Yes"

"It's Jackie Winters."

"Hi Jackie, what's up?" I asked.

"Allen, I don't know what is going on and this may not be any of my business but I thought I should try to get a hold of you."

The tone of Jackie's voice alarmed me.

"Jackie, what is going on?" I asked.

"I was getting ready to go home at 5:30 and I was standing in my office when I saw Tracy come into the hotel and check in. Did you know she was getting a room here tonight?" Jackie asked.

"No, I didn't. Is the room in her name?" I asked.

"Yes, and she left a note for somebody at the desk."

"Can you tell me who the note was for and what it said?" I asked.

"It seems that you are always asking me for information I shouldn't be giving you. Why don't you just come over? We will talk when you get here."

"Thanks Jackie. I'll be over in a few minutes." I said

I quickly finished up the second report and put both reports in the internal mail and sent them to Jack. Then I took the ten minute walk to the Marriott. I went to the registration desk and asked for Jackie Winters and she came out of the office about two minutes later. Jackie led me over to a sofa in the lobby and we sat down.

"I'm sorry that I had to be the one to break this to you," she said. "You have to promise me you won't do anything foolish."

"I just need to know who she left the note for and then I have to talk to her."

"The note was addressed to somebody named John, no last name. Inside the envelope was a key card to her room and a note that said I'm in room 706 come on up and let yourself in."

"John? I have no idea who that might be. Did anyone pick the note up yet?" I asked.

"No, and no one can," Jackie said. "I have the note in my pocket. I am going to give you the key card for room 706 so that you can go up and talk to Tracy before this John person shows up. I have instructed the desk attendants to call the room if he shows up while you are up talking to Tracy. Now you have to promise not to do anything stupid. Remember I am taking a risk giving you a key to her room and if there is trouble I could lose my job."

"Jackie, I promise I won't do anything that will get you in trouble. I just need to talk to Tracy and see if I can stop her from doing whatever it is she has planned," I said. "Thanks Jackie, I do appreciate this and I won't forget that you helped me."

I took the key card from Jackie's hand and headed to elevators. The ride up to the seventh floor was the longest, short or should I say the shortest long elevator ride I had ever been on. Part of me wanted to get to Tracy's room as quickly as possible and get this confrontation over with but the other part of me was dreading this confrontation because I was afraid this meeting was quite possibly going to mean the end of our marriage.

When I got to the door at 706 I stopped and listened for a minute. I could hear the television but nothing else. I took a deep breath and reached out to put the key card in the reader. My hand was shaking so badly that I had to use both hands to guide the card into the reader.

The light on the reader turned red and I pulled the card out quickly and rechecked the room number. I was at the correct room then I realized that I had put the key card in the reader upside down. I turned the card around and inserted it again. This time the light was green.

I pulled the card out and opened the door as quietly as I could and stepped into the room. On the wall to my left just inside the door was a closet with sliding doors made of mirrors. One door was partially opened and I could see a suitcase on the floor inside the closet. Seeing the suitcase gave me a sinking feeling because it told me that Tracy wasn't planning on going home that night. I wondered if she was ever planning to come home again.

To my right was the bathroom door which was closed. A quick look into the reflection in mirrored doors showed me that no one was in the bedroom. I could hear water running in the bathroom so I knew where Tracy was.

I let the room door swing closed hoping that Tracy would hear it and she did.

"Oh good you're here," she called. "I just got out of the shower. There is some beer in the ice bucket on the table. Help yourself and I'll be out in a few minutes."

My first impulse was to charge into the bathroom and grab Tracy by the throat and ask her why she was doing this to me... To us but I didn't dare allow myself to react with violence. Nothing good could come of that. Besides, I was curious to see how Tracy would be dressed when she came out of the bathroom. Would she be naked or fully dressed? I felt that if she was naked or wearing a sexy negligee when she came out of the bathroom that it probably meant this was not the first time she had been with this John person but if she was fully clothed it may be their first time together.

I walk into the bedroom and got one of the beers from the ice bucket and sat in a chair next to the table and stared at the television with no comprehension of what I was watching.

I had finished about half of my beer when I heard the bathroom door open. Tracy stepped out of the bathroom and crossed to the closet without even looking in my direction. She was dressed in only a black bra and matching panties and as she bent over to get something out of her suitcase I was treated to a great view of her beautiful ass. Through the sheer material I could see the smoothly rounded globes separated by the shadowed valley that hid her treasures. Unfortunately, I wasn't really in the mood to fully appreciate the view.

Tracy was still bent over looking through her suitcase when she began to speak.

"Our dinner reservation is for 7:30 so we have time to fool around a little if you want." She said.

I stood up and started walking toward her. I wanted to be close enough to her when she realized that it was me in the room and not her lover that I would be able to see the surprise and then the fear in her eyes. I knew that I wasn't going to hurt her but she wouldn't know that.

When I was less than four feet away from her I called out, "Tracy."

Tracy straightened up spun around quickly to face me. As she turned I could see that she had something in her hand but as she turned to face me she hid whatever it was behind her back.

I took another step forward as I made eye contact with her. I waited for her face to register the fear I knew she must be feeling at that moment but rather than show fear, Tracy smiled at me. I was unprepared for that and was unable to speak while I considered what this might mean. Did Tracy not care that I had caught her. She must have known that I would never hit her and now she was going humiliate me by rubbing my face in the fact that she was waiting for another man in a hotel room. She didn't even seem to be interested in how I found out she was going to be there.

"Allen."

I had expected, no, hoped that after a few seconds her initial reaction would change but it didn't, she just continued to smile at me. I couldn't believe how coolly she was handling this situation. She never broke eye contact with me and I could still find no words to press my offensive. I was trying to think of what I could say that would give me the advantage in this confrontation again but before I could come up with anything Tracy surprised me again. She brought her hand out from behind her back and handed me a large blue envelope that had my name printed on it in large letters.

I stood staring at Tracy in dumb silence unable to utter a word.

"Happy birthday sweetheart," Tracy said and then she gave me a tender kiss on the lips.

Suddenly my legs went weak and I had to back pedal to the bed and sit down.

"What's this?" I finally stammered. "What's going on here?"

"There are actually two things going on here," Tracy said. "First, was your punishment for spying on me, listening to my phone calls, reading my e-mail and generally not trusting me. Second, and most important is this is your birthday surprise and I'll bet you're really surprised."

"I don't know what to say... Wait a minute. This is your idea of revenge. I spied on you a little and so you decide to get even by having a fling with some guy named John on my birthday?" I asked.

"Who's John?" Tracy asked.

"You left a note for some guy named John at the reception desk with this room number and a key. So don't try to act innocent. Who the hell is John?" I said.

"I don't know who John is," she said.

"Are you trying to tell me that you didn't arrange to meet some guy here tonight?" I asked.

"No, I am not trying to tell you that. You're right. I did arrange to meet a guy here tonight. I arranged to meet the man I love, the most important man in my life," she said.

"I was beginning to feel dizzy. Had she put something in my beer? I really didn't think she would do anything like that. I knew that the problem was that she had gained the upper hand in this confrontation and I was struggling to get it back with no success.

"So when is he coming?"

"He is already here silly."

"Who is already here?"

"You are. The man I love, the one who is most important to me is you. Haven't you figured that out yet?" she said.

The realization of what she was telling me was starting to sink in but I was still confused.

"Well, then who is John?" I asked again.

"There is no John. John was just a name that Jackie put on an envelope for me," Tracy said.

"Jackie was in on this?"

"I needed someone to get you to come down here without giving away what I was up to," she said. "I didn't know what name Jackie was going to put on the envelope, I left it up to her because the name didn't matter as long as it wasn't Barry. I though about using Barry's name but realized that would have been too cruel and thought that it might make you a little too crazy."

Now the whole thing was starting to come clear in my head. I had been royally set up.

"How many other people were involved in this?"

"Your boss," Tracy started. "I needed him to get you tied up so that you would not get my voice mail message until it was too late for you to do anything about it. Sarah, because I had to explain what she was to tell you if you called or showed up at home. Your parents, because they had to stop by the house to pick the kids up for the weekend. There were a few others that had minor parts like the office manager in Lexington who told you that their network came back up just before you arrived and then got you to stay for a little while before driving back to Cincinnati."

"You did all this to punish me because I spied on you a little?" I asked. "You drove me crazy for the last three weeks and then tell me it was your birthday gift to me? On top of all that you involved my family and friends in this. My behavior may have been out of line but this was way over the top Tracy. This was just plain cruel."

"Jackie is the only one who knows the whole story. The others only thought they were helping me surprise you for your birthday. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Originally your birthday and this revenge, if that's what you want to call it, were supposed to be two separate things," she said. "When I realized that you were listening to my telephone conversations and discovered that you had been reading my e-mail, I was hurt and angry that you didn't trust me. Then you started to check up on me at work if I had to put in any overtime. I know that I put the doubts about me in your mind but if you would have just sat down with me and talked about what happened with Barry and why and asked any question that were bothering you right after it happened I could have put your mind at ease. You refused to discuss it and you let those doubts eat at you and cause you to distrust me. So, I started acting like I did before the incident with Barry thinking that as soon as you noticed my behavior you would challenge me about it and we would finally have the conversation we should have had three months ago."

"I had been planning this weekend by ourselves for your birthday for more than a month," she continued, "but when instead of questioning my suspicious behavior you chose to escalate your spying I escalated my plan to teach you a lesson. I hadn't intended to carry it this far until Jill and Frank came to visit."

My head was spinning between the relief of finding out that Tracy wasn't going to have an affair and anger over the cruel trick she played on me.

"What did their visit have to do with this?" I asked.

"It was obvious that you thought my behavior meant that I was planning to get together with Barry," she said.

"What made you think that?" I asked.

"It was obvious that you put Frank up to bringing up that stuff about Barry. You got him to tell that story about Barry's divorce and all his girlfriends. You put Frank up to doing a character assassination on Barry because you were afraid that I was planning to get together with him. Even after I told you that I had never had any intention of having an affair with Barry you still didn't believe me. I could almost have forgiven you for that but when you got Frank involved in our problem and used him to tell those stories about Barry that was just too much. You couldn't trust me enough to know that I wouldn't allow myself to be seduced by Barry so you tried to make him out to be a real scum bag to make sure I would lose interest in him and you used my friends to do it..."

I put my hand up to stop her. I was now sufficiently prepared to defend myself.

"Just a damn minute," I said. "First of all, as to whether Barry is a scum bag or not, think about this. What do you call a man who tries to get a married woman to go up to his hotel room with him knowing he might destroy that woman's marriage? I would call him a scum bag, wouldn't you? That makes me wonder what you were thinking. You thought he was married and yet you still agreed to meet him that night."