The Light At The End

"Fuck this shit," I said, to myself, sternly.

My phone rang as soon as I left the house. It was Laura, of course. I needed to cool down before talking to her so I texted her exactly that, "Not in the best mood to talk. Maybe later."

I drove straight to my brother's home. He was surprised to see me.

"I need your advice, Tom," I told him.

He offered me a beer, and we sat in the living room. Then, I gave him a brief account of my relationship with Laura, and what had transpired that night.

"When you marry someone, you marry into her family, if her parents don't like you, I suggest you find someone else," my brother said. He was a straight forward person and I always appreciated it.

I sighed. "I came to the same conclusion. I realize there are a lot of things Laura and I didn't talk about. Our families, for example. For me, Laura was a fun girl to hang with. I like her and we were great together but that was it. It's not that I wasn't serious about us, but to me, we were just in the first stages of our relationship. I wasn't even close to proposing to her."

Tom nodded his understanding.

"Did she warn you about her parents before you met them?" my brother asked me.

"That's the thing, she didn't! She didn't even warn me I was going to meet them! She asked me to pick her up at this address. And when I drove there I realized it was her parents' house, and I was expected for dinner. I wasn't even dressed properly for the occasion."

"That's really strange. From what you told me, she didn't look like the kind of girl who'd do something like this. Is it worth trying to make your relationship work?" my brother was echoing my own concerns as usual.

"I'll have a long talk with her, but this looks like a deal-breaker to me. There's no doubt we come from different worlds. Her parents were looking down on me during the whole dinner. I'm not some kid her dad can boss around."

"Do you think they will accept you with time?" Tom asked me.

"No, Bro. I don't think they will change," I answered sincerely. "But the right question to ask is, do I think I will accept them with time? And the answer is a big fat 'no'. I want nothing to do with them"

"Your relationship has no future then. Sorry." Tom concluded.

"Well, it was good while it lasted."

I thanked my brother and went back home. I had vented my anger out, and I had a clear mind. It was time to talk with Laura. The old saying that we all have heard 'do not put off until tomorrow what you can do today,' was still valid

I called Laura and we met at her place. When I saw her, I realized she had been crying and I felt really bad for her.

She apologized profusely for what happened. She kept saying we could get past this. I let her talk till she ran out of steam.

"Laura, I like you, but I don't see how we might find a way around what happened. Your parents probably have your wedding already planned, kids' names picked out, future house plans drawn and a prenup written. Sometimes love is not enough."

"Fuck them! I had them on my back most of my life. I live my life the way I want."

"You may live your life like a rebel, Laura, but deep inside you are still looking for your parents' approval. It seems to me that, even when you deny it, your family's opinion is very important to you."

She bit her lip. "I just wanted to share with them how happy I was with you. I thought once they knew you, they'll see you as the great person you are. I never expected they would react the way they did."

"Then you don't know your parents as well as you thought. They are not going to change the way they are, and I'm not going to change the way I am. I'm very different from them. Get-togethers and social meetings will be battlefields."

"Please, believe me, Percy, I'm not like my parents at all," she begged me, her hands together as if she was praying.

"Laura, I'm not going to put you in a position where you have to choose between your family and me. It wouldn't be fair for you."

"For the record, I would choose you a million times. It would be my choice, not yours," she insisted.

"True, but the thing is it wouldn't be fair for me having to put up with people like your parents. They can't see past their own traditions, values, or prejudices. Social class is a very important thing for them. Whether you like it or not, having someone your parents approve of, will dramatically improve your chances of having a good marriage."

"I thought they loved me enough to accept you for who you are and respect my choices. I was really wrong. I never thought they would behave as they did."

"There is something that I don't understand, Laura. If you feel like this about your family, why did you introduce me to them? We were doing great by ourselves."

Then Laura dropped the bomb.

"Percy, there's something I need to talk about with you." She took a deep breath and said, "I did it because I'm pregnant with your baby, and I wanted my parents to meet the father of my child before delivering them the news."

What?!

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I'm not," she stated.

Was she sure she was pregnant? Had she tricked me? I wanted to ask her all those things, but I looked into those bright eyes, awash with tears, and I couldn't play twenty questions.

CHAPTER 5: LAURA

Dinner with my parents went horribly wrong. They did and said all the wrong things. I couldn't blame Percy for his reaction. I would have done the same if I were in his position, probably sooner than he did.

One day I woke up and couldn't hold down my breakfast. I moved to the sink to splash water on my face. I paused to take a breath, and calm the sickening sensation of panic that rose from my belly to my chest.

If this wasn't a flu bug or food poisoning, it meant I was actually pregnant. I had missed my period. Sometimes that happens. Different foods, even a change in water might cause the body to get out of its normal rhythm.

I went straight to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test.

My knees buckled. The next thing I knew I was sitting on the fuzzy blue bathmat, staring dazed and wide eyed at that plastic white stick. Two lines. Great! I was pregnant and fucked.

No. It couldn't be true. There had to be some mistake. I couldn't possibly be pregnant. Not me.

Panic struck me, my heart hammering. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to feel? Thoughts clamored in my head, swirling around, trying to make themselves heard. I'd never been against having kids, but at the same time, the thought of having one right now terrified me.

Have you ever done something you wish you could undo? What am I saying? Of course, you have. Everyone has regrets.

By the time I collected myself and emerged from the bathroom, I knew that I had to tell Percy. I had to tell my parents too. I knew they would want to meet my baby's father so I decided to kill two birds with one stone, and asked Percy to meet me at my parents' house. I wanted to show them my baby had a father, and he was a good man.

How stupid of me! I should have known my family better to anticipate how they would react to the news. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I had been avoiding my parents for so long, that I let my guard down.

I know I should have told Percy about my pregnancy, before asking him to meet me at my parents' place. I know I should have warned him about my snob parents. However, at the moment, the idea of dropping the news at the same time sounded really appealing.

Why did I ambush Percy? You know why. I do too. I was afraid. Terrified actually. Because I knew what was going to happen when my parents knew I was pregnant and not married.

"I beg your pardon?" Percy's eyebrows lifted and he leaned back in his chair. He was momentarily speechless, and his jaw dropped open in shock.

"I'm pregnant," I repeated. I gave him a few seconds to digest my words before I continued. "I took a test."

He stared at me with those spellbinding blue eyes. "I thought you were on the pill."

"I was," I explained. "I don't know what happened. I didn't forget to take any."

He frowned at me. "You must have. You were careless and forgot."

"It doesn't matter if I forgot to take the pill," I said, "even when I didn't. All we can do is face the music. We have to decide how we're going to handle this."

Percy sank back into his chair. "Are you sure? Could the test be wrong?" he asked me. "Maybe you should go to the doctor to get it confirmed."

I shook my head. "A positive test result is over ninety-five percent accurate. I'm pregnant, Percy."

"Maybe you wanted this," he said.

"Of course not!" I argued. Rage, hot and brisk, flooded my bloodstream. "How can you think I got pregnant on purpose? I'm not that kind of woman! We were just getting to know each other. I like you, but not that much."

"I still don't believe it. How can this be happening now?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Actually I hate you." I wanted to say that and more, because I blamed him for everything, for the inconceivable magnitude of my disgrace. For the destruction and collapse of my world that was so good for me. Before meeting him, I had a great life, but I threw it all away for the dream of being in a relationship.

I couldn't imagine that it could happen to me. I was smart. I was careful. I had a great future ahead of me.

Percy pulled me in for a long and tight hug. "Nervous?"

"Of course. Terrified, actually. You?"

Percy just nodded, but he smiled at me and said, "Everything is going to be okay."

"So what are we going to do?" I asked.

There were a few minutes of absolute silence. Percy was deep in thought looking out the window. I had a pretty good idea of how he was feeling. He was probably in shock. That's how you feel when your whole life is turned upside down.

My head was whirling around. So many options. None of them sounded that great.

"I could get an abortion. The procedure would be simple and quick at this stage," I offered. I didn't want to get an abortion, I didn't even like the sound of it. I just wanted to test how Percy would react.

Percy looked at me with murderous eyes. "It's your body and, of course, your choice. But if I were in your place, I wouldn't like to live my life knowing that I killed my first baby. I'd never forgive myself."

I gulped hard and nodded. "We think the same way. I didn't give abortion serious consideration. Just stating it is an option."

"I'd never ask you to do something like that," Percy looked straight into my eyes.

My respect for him grew leaps and bounds. I offered him an easy way out of the situation and he didn't take it. I truly liked him, and I wanted our relationship to keep going.

Percy reached for my hand, and I let him. I needed all the moral support I could get.

"I could have the baby and give it up for adoption," I said, thinking aloud. The idea was appealing to a certain degree. I imagined a happy little child, growing up as the doted-upon only child of a loving, formerly childless family so blessed to get it. And they would tell our baby that his parents gave him up because they wanted the best for him.

"There are plenty of families that are ready and want children but can't. Adoption is a wonderful thing, but could you live with that choice?" Percy asked me. "Whatever we decide, we'll have to live with this decision for the rest of our lives."

"We?"

"Legally the father has the same rights to a child as the mother. So I have to give my consent," Percy explained to me.

"Would you give your consent?"

"I might, if this is what you want, but we should have a very long talk about it. Maybe even talk with a counselor. I don't want to rush into a life-changing decision like this."

The choice I gave the least consideration to was getting married. However, it was the next thing out of Percy's mouth.

"Why don't we get married?"

CHAPTER 5: PERCY

"Are you crazy?" Laura blurted out just as quickly as I suggested we should marry.

That surprised me. I thought she would be thrilled to know I was ready to step up.

"Why not? We are good together."

"Percy, answer me this: would you have proposed to me if I weren't pregnant?"

"No, I wouldn't have, it would have been too soon," I reluctantly admitted.

"There's your answer."

"Well, you being pregnant with my child changed everything."

Laura disagreed again. She could be really stubborn.

"We shouldn't get married solely because I'm pregnant. I mean, if this wasn't the plan before then, why is it now? You said it yourself. It would have been too soon.

"We've been together for around six months. Why would my pregnancy change that? Marriage is about the union of two people who love each other, and nothing else should impact on this decision," she explained.

"Laura, we aren't exactly strangers to each other. I like you, I like you a lot. I could easily see myself falling in love with you."

"I like you too, Percy. You're a great guy. You said you could fall for me."

I nodded.

"Let me ask you this, do you love me? Please, be honest "

"Love is a very loaded word, Laura. Maybe I'm not completely there yet. All I know is that I like and I care for you, and I want to be there for you and our baby."

"You can do that without us getting married. I've seen what happens to friends when they divorce, and it wouldn't have been nearly as messy if that slip of paper was not involved and they could have just walked away," she explained.

"We have a child in common; do you really think I would be able to just walk away? The slip of paper can be a nuisance, but it can also be an advantage. Marriage can help a couple's mind stay focused on commitment."

I closed the distance between us, and my eyes met hers. "Laura, are you afraid to make a permanent connection?"

"I am not!"

"Oh yeah? Prove it to me." I tipped her chin to meet mine. "Marry me."

Laura caught a deep breath and held it. "What is your rush to get married? Usually, it's us, girls, who want to get married."

"Because my parents weren't married," I confessed.

"Why weren't they married?" Laura asked me curiously.

"They believed in free love and all that crap. Children were the last thing in their minds. They were together for some years. Then, my father left to travel around the world in search of his inner self, or some hippie crap like that. I was four years old and my brother Tom was two when he left. I have some vague memories of him."

"I'm sorry Percy. I didn't know that. What happened to your mother?"

"My mother was a wild girl, always on a high. One day, she forgot to pick me up at school. When I called her cell phone no one picked up, so I called Carol, my grandmother (my mother's mom). When my mother picked up the phone, I knew something was wrong. My mother was supposed to be on her way to pick me up, not at Grandma's house one hour away. An overwhelming sadness hit me because I realized she was leaving us too."

I made a pause trying to collect myself. Laura held my hand and squeezed it gently.

"Ever since I knew her, my mother went from needing a little self-reflecting vacation to needing to try every guru, drug, or self-help group. She explained to me she needed a break from her 'normal' life and time to reflect and meditate about her goals in life. More hippie/new age crap. I started to cry inside because I was losing her too."

Laura hugged me tight.

"My grandmother came to pick me and took me and my brother to her house. I was ten years old. My mother never returned. I never knew if she is dead or alive. Eventually, my grandma got custody of us. She raised us the best she could."

I looked at her in the eyes.

"Do you understand now why I want to marry you? I don't want our baby to grow up without a father. I want to be there for my son."

CHAPTER 6: LAURA

Percy's story brought tears to my eyes. I held him tight for a long while. He finally collected himself. It was late and we both needed to do some serious thinking about our situation. His story helped me to understand his reasons. I knew he was never going to give up on our child.

I think I was crazy for not saying yes immediately to his proposal. I can't explain why I said no. The triumph of reason over heart I guess.

Suddenly, we were alone, and as his mouth sealed over mine, our tongues gloriously glided together. We both needed to cheer up. It had been a long and frustrating day. His frenzied hands gentled long enough to lower me to the couch. My bed was mere feet away, but we hadn't had the time nor the desire to make it that far.

His hard body covered mine, his hips falling between my open legs.

Then my shirt was off in a matter of seconds, and my skirt quickly followed.

His finger curled in the top of my bra, tugging it down before taking my nipple between his lips. His warm tongue swirled and his teeth nipped, shooting sparks that rivaled any orgasm I'd ever had straight to my clit.

"Percy," I moaned, arching my back and pressing more of my breast into his mouth.

He growled, the vibrations coaxing me closer to the edge. His hair was too short to thread my fingers through, so I palmed the back of his head, holding him as though he were attempting to get away. He absolutely wasn't.

I lifted my hips when I felt the tips of his fingers start their descent down my stomach.

Our groans harmonized as he dipped his fingers between my legs and pressed in just enough to taunt me.

"Please," I begged.

His head popped up to catch my gaze. "Given any more thought to that proposal?" he asked with a wicked smile.

"Bastard," I told him, spreading my legs wide.

"I know," he whispered, holding my gaze as he slid two fingers inside me.

I writhed, driving myself down, unable to get close enough.

I needed more. I wasn't talking about sex. I wanted more of him, more of his soul and his gentle heart.

His hand worked me, pumping in and out, taking me closer and closer to the edge.

"Percy , I..."

"Shh... It's okay, baby. My offer is on the table. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here. All you have to do is say yes." He dropped his thumb to my clit and skillfully circled.

As an orgasm so strong that I feared I'd never been able to recover rippled through me, I realized I was absolutely ready for anything and everything as long as it was with him.

I finally felt at peace with my situation.

And I made my decision.

CHAPTER 7: LAURA

The next day, we had breakfast together and Percy went to work. He told me we'd talk more later.

I went to see a doctor. The results confirmed I was almost five weeks pregnant. I couldn't tell what emotion was the strongest for me. I didn't know if was terror, disbelief, or happiness.

It was time to face my parents and deliver the good news. I was dreading how they would react to my pregnancy, given my parent's view on legitimate and illegitimate ways of having children.

While I was driving to their place, I tried to find the right words to tell them about the baby.

What about this? 'Mom... Dad... I'm pregnant, and the father is the man you despised last night.'

Maybe like this? 'Good news! Remember you always wanted a grandchild? Guess what? I'm pregnant. You hated the father, but you'll get over it."

Or, maybe I could just say: 'Guess what? I'm fucked and pregnant.'

I rested my hand on my stomach and rubbed my thumb back and forth. "We are going to be okay," I whispered to my tummy.

Of course, things rarely work as you planned them. As soon as my mother let me in she started lashing me out.

"Laura, how dare you bring that man into our house?" my mother blurted out. "You can't be serious about him."

"I thought you'd both like to know the father of my baby," I blurted out.