Having a Reason to Live

"I tell you one thing, I'm going to have to get on the pill again if you keep cumming inside me like that."

"Gross mom."

"Do you need me to pull over and give you some more mommy for you to be good?"

"I'm being good."

"Then cut the back talk and just tell me I'm beautiful."

I nodded. "You're beautiful."

"You're damn right I am." she said as she flipped her hair and then gave me a seductive look before putting her eyes back on the road.

Back at home it was Sally's turn to clean the house as mom got her smock for her part time job and left.

"So, what's left to do?"

Sally just sneered at me. "Nothing. You can go sulk in your room."

"No, seriously. I can help. It's no problem."

"Great. Go clean your room. Big help. Thanks." She then went back to not really doing much of anything while she listened to the music coming through her headphones.

In my room I figured if there was a quiz coming I might as well study for it. I got out my text books and my mind drew a blank. What was I supposed to study? I had no clue. I'd spend the whole day just being so pissed off out of my mind that I hadn't listened to a thing anyone had said. I only knew about the quiz because that girl gave me her number for no reason.

Wait. It wasn't for no reason. She was offering to help me study. Was I a fucking idiot? I left my room and went to use the house phone. And for the record, it was a land line phone that was connected to the wall by a wire. I didn't have my own cell phone like everyone else in the house. Dad paid for himself and mom. My sisters each paid for their own phones. They had just needed my dad to be a cosigner. Yet another reason for me to get a job.

As my sister was dancing in the kitchen to her music, pretending to clean the same plate she had in her hand when I first came in, I dialed Rachel.

"Hello." came a man's voice.

"Hello, is Rachel there?"

"Who the fuck is this?"

"Hey, give me back my phone." I heard Rachel's voice in the background.

Great. Drama. I was not in the mood.

"What is your ..." the guy was starting to ask again when I hung up the phone. I knew it had to be too good to be true. Oh, well. I guess I'd just have to study everything. Or I could call the school. Did I have the number for the school? It had to be somewhere.

Ring, ring, ring.

"Hello." I answered.

"What the hell do you think you're doing calling my girl?"

"Seeing if she's free. I take it she's not so please tell her I'll see her on Monday."

"Monday? Hell no. You stay the hell away ..."

"You can't stop her from seeing me." I said.

"Yes, I can. I'll pound your little face right down your neck."

"You have no idea who I am, do you?"

"I'm not scared of you. You're the one who needs to be scared of me. I mean it. You stay the hell away from Rachel."

"That plan sucks. How about I just do all the things I've already been doing with Rachel. Yeah, that's a much better plan."

"Fuck you. FUCK YOU. You hear me. I'm going to fucking kill your ass. YOU HEAR ME? HUH? HUH?"

"Ha. Ha. Let me tell you about what we were doing today. Oh, man. You're not going to believe what she did. Me and her were ..."

"SHUT UP. SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH UP."

"Look man, if you really think you're man enough to come kill me, come on down. Let's see what you're made of."

"I'm made of a lot more than you."

"Prove it."

"I don't need to prove it. I know it."

"Yeah but I don't know it. I think you're a pussy. So come on down, I'll hand you the knife and give you two ... no three free stabs. Let's see how much of a killer you are."

"Knife?"

"Yeah, knife. Unless you're too much of a baby to stand the sight of blood."

"Fuck you."

"Coward. You want to kill me? Huh? Then have the balls to put the knife in my neck, unless you're not man enough."

"I'm more of a man than you."

"Words, words, words. Dude I got the knife right here, if you think you can use it. But I guess it's only fair to warn you about the last guy who put a knife in me. You might end up like him. You're call, big man."

"Uh ... um ... Just stay away from Rachel."

"Boring. I'm going to see her no matter what. You can't stop me. But hey, if you think you can, come on down. Do you need my address?"

He hung up on me. I was smiling. Yeah, he was probably going to hit me so hard I'd end up back in the hospital. That would be one way to get out of a quiz.

Ring, ring, ring.

Oh, boy. Round 3. Here we go. "Hello."

"Who is this?" Rachel asked with an exasperated tone. "Jason?"

"In the flesh."

"What the hell, asshole? Why'd you tell my boyfriend we were having sex?"

"I did not say that. Why's your boyfriend lying about me?"

"He's freaking out over here. What did you say?"

"I was calling to ask if you still wanted to study and in so doing try to apologize to you for being rude earlier but it sounds to me like you've got bigger problems than just worrying about me if your boyfriend is going to ..."

"Hey, don't blame him. You can't call me and tell people we're having sex."

"I didn't say that and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't smear my good name by implying that I would ever act inappropriately towards anyone I go to school with."

"I recorded the call, just so you know."

"Good, then maybe you can go back and listen to what I actually said and stop lying about me." This conversation was over as far as I was concerned so I added "BYE." to the end and then hung up.

It was funny. I actually sort of felt bad for her having to day a guy who was that insecure. She must have cheated on him already, probably more than once. Still, it was there business. If he wanted to stay with her after she did something like that to him, it was his choice, bad choice that it was. Shit, now I was feeling sorry for him, poor dumb whatever his name was.

"Smooth." Sally said. "You learn to talk on the phone like that in rehab?"

"You just love calling it that, don't you."

"Yeah, makes people think you're a drug addict."

Ring, ring, ring.

I rolled my eyes. I was about to answer it but sally hit a button on the phone and that did something and the ringing stopped. "In the future, if people are bothering you, just block them."

"Good advice. Thanks."

She looked at me weird. "Are you ok? You've been acting funny lately."

"Funny how?"

"I can't put my finger on it. It's like you chilled out all of the sudden."

"Like it?"

"It's refreshing. You had an argument without becoming a rage monster. Next level attained. Props to you sir."

"Thanks. Say, you want me to help you with that plate. You're going to polish a hole in it."

And so it came to pass that my sister and I were not just mean to each other. I helped clean a bit and then instead of trying to study in my room by myself, I brought out my books to the dining room table and started to catch up on my school work. I couldn't believe I ever thought this stuff was hard.

Speaking of hard, my sister did have a very nice figure and she wasn't wearing a lot. Too bad she was my sister and I wasn't a hillbilly. Then again, I did have sex with my mom, twice in fact. This brought up a good question. The initial presumption is that family sex will gross everyone out but here I was not feeling grossed out by what I had done with my mother and not being grossed out by my sisters. In fact, they were both rather attractive and I was certainly aroused. So where does the taboo come from? Do other people really feel grossed out or do they just pretend to feel grossed out because they know that's what society expects of them? How many people do what I'd done with my mother but just never let the secret out? How many people secretly sympathize with those who get caught? How many people have these feelings but just never act on them? Maybe the answers to those questions were small numbers but they weren't nothing.

Ding, dong. The doorbell rang. Sally was going for it but I pointed out that her tit was halfway hanging out of her shirt so leave it to me. I opened the door and found Rachel and a huge mountain of a man standing next to her.

"Hello Jason." she said. I ignored her and address the guy.

"I take it you're the boyfriend?"

"I take it you're the cancer kid."

"Good. We understand each other."

"Hey, Jason, listen. We really got off on the wrong foot." Rachel said. "That whole phone tag thing escalated quickly and I think you both said things you didn't mean so ..."

"So?" I asked.

"So shake hands or something."

In the aftermath of the pleasantries Rachel's boyfriend Mark took off and left Rachel with me to help prepare me for the Monday quiz. She gave me about a half hour of her time and got me sorted to start studying on my own and then she needed to go. I thanked her and walked her to her car parked on the curb. She drove away just as my dad was getting home. Great, and I'd had sex with his wife, AGAIN.

"Hi dad." Please don't see my guilt on my face.

"Hey, son. Who was that?"

"Just a girl from school who was helping me study."

"Study huh?"

"Uh ... yeah. Just study. Nothing else. You can ask Sally."

He laughed at me. "That's alright. Just let me know if you need some pointers."

"About studying?"

"Jason, a girl like that doesn't come see a guy like you if studying is all she has on her mind."

Dad walked with me into the house and then laid down on the sofa to get his power nap in before he had to eat and then rush out to his next job. Mom got home about an hour later and dinner was put on the table. We waited just a bit for Lisa to finally get home and once she was there, we woke dad up and ate together as a family.

I'd like to say that we all seemed happy for once but it was not so. Dad was happy. Mom was glowing. Lisa was in a pretty good mood once she'd gotten me to call her a bitch. Funny, that. However, Sally seemed really distant and pissed, specifically pissed at me. I chalked it up to an act. She was still acting angry at me because she felt like that was how she was expected to act towards me. However, once she cornered me in the hallway I got an ear full.

"Why was that girl here?" Sally confronted me in my room.

"To help me study."

Sally shook her head. "She wasn't here for that. Why was she here?"

"To help me study."

"You need to watch out and keep her away from this house."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"She's bad news. I mean it. Be careful around her."

"Why?"

Sally looked like she had something she wanted to tell me but then held her tongue. "If I catch that bitch in here again, I'll rip her hair out."

"Fine by me, I just need her to help me study. She can do that in a wig."

"Take this seriously."

"I am but you aren't giving me anything to work with."

"Listen, I can't explain it where you'll understand. Just trust me, she's a really bad person and you don't want to associate with her."

"Ok. I trust you. I'll be careful."

"Thank you. And keep her out of this house."

"I'll meet her at the library."

"Good." she huffed. Then she looked down and walked out.

I couldn't believe it. I had managed to get my sister mad at me without even doing anything.

My family, minus my dad who had to go to work, all helped clean up together and Sally seemed to be calmed down a bit but the next one to lay in on me was Lisa. She spilled the remainder of a drink on me and I could swear she did it on purpose. Maybe she was trying to get a rise out of me or maybe she just wanted me to be gone from the kitchen. My plan was to just change out of my shorts into another pair and just go back to helping but Lisa followed me to my room, watched me change from the doorway and then stopped me.

"You're not going to leave that like that, are you?"

"It'll be fine for now."

"You're going to forget and then it's going to stink up the whole house and I'm the one who has to clean it. Pick it up and rinse it out and put it in the laundry."

"Hey, you're the one who dumped your drink on me."

"You're the one who was in my way. Now pick it up."

FUCK! Well, I didn't feel like arguing with her. I used to argue every little point when these things would happen but I just didn't feel like it. I grabbed my shorts and went to the bathroom with them. I rinsed them in the sink and while I was doing that my sister dropped her bottoms and sat on the toilet to take a pee. I can't be sure but I think she waited until I looked her way to rise up and wipe herself. After flushing, she was still naked from the waist down when she pushed me and my now rinsed shorts out of the way so she could wash her hands.

"I know you're staring at my ass. Get a good look." she said as she swayed her butt cheeks from side to side.

"You do remember that I'm your brother, right?"

"You do know I'm your sister, right?"

I rolled my eyes but I wasn't going to argue and that was clearly what she wanted, though I did purposely leave the door open as I took my shorts to the laundry room.

...

Day 3

I had been fine all morning. I shared the bathroom with my sisters and it didn't explode into an argument though I did have to wonder why Lisa needed to be topless to brush her teeth. My mother gave me a wink when she served me my breakfast and my dad patted me on the head as he left for work. Now that I thought about it, when did he get home last night? When did he ever have the time to sleep. It was the weekend and still he was working 17 or 18 hours before he'd be back here again. He was going to die if he kept that up. I had to do something.

So when I went to my volunteer thing and again got stares from people who wondered why I was still showing up, I asked if there was any paid work I could do. Any at all. Please. The lady in charge of me just told me that if I didn't want to volunteer anymore then I could just march my ass back home. So very politely I asked again and stressed that my family really needed me to help out. Please. If not for them, could they recommend any place that was hiring.

I ended up snagging a minimum wage gig to go door to door and ask people survey questions about the mayor and city council. It was all going so well at first. I was calm and level headed. The sorority girls tried to tease me with their partial nudity and I was ok. One guy just started yelling at me and ranting about all the fucked up things the mayor was responsible for according to him and I was ok. I wrote down as much as I could but there was no way I could catch or even understand all of that. Yes, this was an ok job for me. I could do this. I was earning money and I was going to help my family.

And then, at a little after 3 pm it happened and for the first time I noticed. I was talking to this woman who was in her forties. She was a housewife and she was acting polite to me.

"Sure, I got time for a few questions. You want to come inside?"

Hell no you sorry sack of shit. Bat your fucking eyes at someone else. Why does every fucking woman have to make every fucking thing about sex? Stop trying to show me your cleavage and take this seriously. These local yahoo politicians make decisions that control your life you dumb bitch.

"Right here is fine. It's against the rules to go in." I answered.

"Oh, I won't tell."

I answered again that I had to stay outside and then I asked the first question. She started to give me her answer but I wasn't writing it down. Instead I was looking at her legs in her yoga pants. What kind of fucking bitch wears that shit to show off their camel toe? This fucking married woman probably already fucked half the men in this neighborhood. And even if not, she sure wasn't leaving much to the imagination.

"Did you get that?" she asked me.

I looked up at her. "Yes, ma'am." I couldn't believe I had to call her ma'am. She sure as hell didn't deserve it. "And actually, I just realized the time. I need to go. Do you mind if we send someone to come and finish this interview later."

"Oh, no, you go do what you have to do."

I nodded and started to walk back to the sidewalk. I just could not stand even one more second around that slut. That whore. That waste of human flesh. ARG!!

And why the hell was I even out here? What was this for? Oh, right, so the fucking family that decided it would be a good idea to keep me chained to this fucking world wouldn't be sad because heaven forbid they'd have to grieve me. Fuck them. Why the hell should I help them? Could anyone give me one good fucking reason why I should have to help them? They all hate me. They can pretend all they wanted but I knew. They all fucking hated my guts and secretly wanted me to die. They only kept me alive because they wanted me to suffer more before I passed.

I marched back to the volunteer center to throw this fucking clip board in that stupid bitch's face and tell her to shove it up her ass. She was such an evil fucking woman with her tits I wasn't allowed to suck and her ass I wasn't allowed to touch. Well, you know what, I knew who's ass I could touch and who's tits I could suck. It was a bit of a detour but I walked back home and found my mother doing her bookkeeping thing for local businesses, which was something she did at home to make money. She had Lisa helping her but Sally was out at her job.

"Hey, I need to talk to you." I demanded in my angry, aggressive voice.

"Me?" Lisa replied like she was ready to battle.

"No, honey, he meant me. Just continue, I'll be back in a minute."

"You wish." I answered.

"Jason, honey, we can talk in private."

My mother went with me to my room and then she closed the door.

"Show me your tits." I demanded.

She was trying to hold back a smile as she started to open her top for me.

"Hurry up." I said as I grabbed her and forced her down to my bed. Her eyes went wide and she no longer hid her glee as I went for her jeans and pulled them off of her. Once I had enough access I just plowed right into her. She seemed to love it.

"Yes, baby. Fuck mommy. Yes!"

The first thing I noticed was that I was lasting a lot longer than the previous times we'd had sex. It lasted almost long enough to justify changing positions. She was so wet and she was clawing at my body and trying to kiss me. I wasn't in the kind of mindset to want to kiss but I let her nibble on my ear. She wrapped her legs around me and tried to get me closer and closer to her. She would also reach around and grab my ass.

I was doing a kind of thrust, grind for a moment, and then pull out motion. I was angling my cock to push against the different sides of her pussy and then I found a place that she seemed to like a lot. I happened to get a look at her face just as her eyes were rolling to the back of her head and her body started to seize. She was jerking about and I felt a gush of more wetness in her pussy. It was so warm and strangely inviting. I stopped holding back and let my orgasm happen inside of her.

And then epiphany.

I was on top of my mom recovering from cumming inside of her. I looked down at her and she was obviously coming out of her own orgasm. I got off and then sat on my bed with my eyes wide and my mouth hanging open. I got it. I might have just figured it out.

My mom crawled over to me and started to put her hands on me. She moved closer and started to kiss me on my cheek and on my shoulder. Acting all lovey dovey was not what I was interested in doing.

"Mom, I have to tell you something."

"You want some more. I think I have time."

"No, listen. Ok. Really listen. This is me."

"And I love every ounce of you, lover boy."

"Try to understand me." I said as she was reaching for my dick and trying to stroke it. "Mom! Listen."

"I can listen and do this at the same time." she answered and then straddled me and forced me into a kiss. Before I really knew what was happening she'd gotten my dick back into her and she was shoving me to get me more on the bed so she could be more comfortable.